The Hater Nation

Well, this is awkward

2011-10-09T15:58:00.001-07:00

I don't have the heart to tell Hue Jackson that Al Davis died ten years ago.

Commitment to the Crematorium

2011-10-08T19:24:00.000-07:00

It seems rather fitting that on a year when we finally got the ruthless leader of the biggest terrorist organization this world has ever seen ... we also managed to get Bin Laden.

The Weak Ender

2011-10-07T06:38:00.000-07:00

Kristin Cavallari was bounced from Dancing With The Stars, and of course, Jay Cutler was on the sidelines doing nothing while HIS teammate was eliminated.

More coming later ...

Who is feeling LUCKy?

2011-09-27T14:59:00.001-07:00

Although I am verboten from writing the name on NFL.com, here is my Pick Six rankings of the teams heading towards the first pick in the draft. Which might or might not be used on that one quarterback from that team who everybody seems to be rather fond of.

In a mild upset, the fans are actually into this one. But then again, if you hated on this genius, then you really are scraping the bottom of the barrel.

Thankfully, the CMs were on to me here, fantasy winners and losers.

The one Super Bowl we would all like to see, Bills vs. Lions. Some moran (sic), I think it was Micheal Silver of Yahoo!, wrote that Jim Irsay would have a hard time getting rid of tickets for that Super Bowl. And since I get a lot of hate mail, I hate to bash another writer, but that was incredibly worse than anything I have ever been accused of writing. The fans of the Lions and Bills would take over Indianapolis, and I would imagine that the atmosphere would be better than any game with the Steelers or Patriots. That was kind of an odd thing to write.

I had a couple of fantasy blog posts, but do you actually care about those? Yeah, I feel you. Talk at you later.

America!

Pretend this was The Weak Ender

2011-09-26T11:40:00.000-07:00

Long-time readers of this site (depending on where you see this) are still clamoring for The Weak Ender. And it now lives in another form. The Like/Dislike fantasy column is about as close as we can get to TWE on NFL.com. I suggest you subscribe to my RSS feed on NFL.com or be sure to catch it. Because of the publishing time, I will try to add this every Friday morning just like always, but to be safe, I would ask you just be patient.

Here was the column from Friday.

And here was a view from the time machine.

America!

Who is leading for Andrew Luck?

2011-09-20T12:54:00.000-07:00

Who is the worst team in the NFL? I used my Pick Six column on Tuesday to handicap the race for Andrew Luck. Only, I am not allowed to say the name "Andrew Luck" on NFL.com. The Chiefs are this week's runaway winner, but I break down the top six right here.

Here is some of my other nonsense that I am spreading today (and getting you caught up on some of the older stuff).

Fox caves into pressure and plays Tim Tebow.

Sunday's fantasy winners and losers.

Here is my Pick Six biggest sucker punches of the weekend.

America!

Aaron Rodgers needs a new nickname

2011-08-30T11:14:00.001-07:00

Long time, no update, and much apologies to anybody clamoring for some new posts. The ball has been dropped like a pass from Eli Manning. Though, that would be an interception. Oh, and on that note, (expletive) me and my fantasy teams that have led me to draft Eli Messiah. What a flipping joke.

But by banking on Eli so much on my NFL.com and NFL Network leagues, this will give me a chance to start referring to him as Eli Messiah, so this could be a good thing.

In any event, the lead story today is that we need a new nickname for Aaron Rodgers. My Suggestion? Thunderlips, based on his new mustache. Spread the word people, this should really catch on.

Some links for you guys to catch up on.

Of course you knew I would have to weigh in on this Lane Kiffin deal, right? Here it is.

Time for some players to pay me back for a years of pain.

Did you know that I write a near-daily fantasy column, too? Well you can check out this one about -- who else -- Peyton Manning.

This is weird, my proclamation that the Cowboys are missing the playoffs has not drawn much heat at all. That is weird.

One more thing, check out my show, NFL.com Fantasy Live. We are on both NFL.com and NFL Network. But you can check it out here.

America!

Wait, what ... Eli really said that?

2011-08-17T17:43:00.000-07:00

Eli Manning believes that he is in Tom Brady's class. Whether you believe in something like that or not, I was glad that he said it, because it has been a long time since I had the chance to write some stuff on Eli. So this was a pretty good day for me.

You can catch the six things that Eli also believes right here. The NFL being a family site, I was unable to use the basic, "Believes that Casey Anthony is innocent," or "Believes that O.J. is looking for the real killers." You know the basic.

Oh, and if you have the chance, you can check out the six people you would not want to have with you if you were stuck in an elevator. Oh look, that also worked its way into another Manning-diss. I am killing it today.

My take on Ndamukong Suh was rather genius, too. Even for a guy who is not considered one of the "football guys."Seriously, this is the kind of stuff that the Lions should be doing. If I was one of the Ford Family, I would be so rich I would not care about stuff. I would also pay any fine that Suh incurs.

Oh look, I got some on-air stuff working, too. This is about me being the "expert of the experts." Take a look.

America!

This advice will cost you one Schrute Buck

2011-08-15T17:55:00.001-07:00

Excuse the lack of updates last week, as I had a huge show at the Brea Improv on Thursday. Sold out show at the Brea Improv, and it was a gasser. Thank you to everybody who came out, it was a blast.

We will start out this week, with some fantasy advice to The Office's Rainn Wilson, who has the third pick in his fantasy draft. Hopefully, he takes my advice.

Some things you may or may not have missed over the last week.

Six things we learned over the weekend.

Six things more believable than Favre is going to stay retired.

We got The Miz on the Dave Dameshek Football Program.

And here is some straight talking football.

If you guys can, please subscribe to the Dave Dameshek Football Program via iTunes. Listen once, download twice. Seriously, just downloading would be awesome.

The Post Mortem: Did he mean it?

2011-08-08T23:01:00.000-07:00

Was Deion Sanders sincere in his Hall of Fame induction speech? That is the question often asked of me.

And my answer is yes.

But remember, I also love professional wrestling, so I might not be the right person to ask. I made a Pick Six of my favorite moments from the Hall of Fame, but they wouldn't let me say Deion reading the name of his kids as my favorite moment, so I'm not linking to it.

Monday's Pick Six: Guys who stuck it to their former team by signing with their hated rival. Props to me for the John Lackey include.

Here is my take on the rookie I am looking forward to watching this week. Notice the comment section, I am the only guy who gets called out. I know I have seen a couple of our CMs (and have even seen a CM reference or two) trolling there. Take the time to sign up, because I would find it hilarious.

America!

The Weak Ender: Anne Hathaway new Catwoman

2011-08-05T17:29:00.001-07:00

Are we alright with the selection of Anne Hathaway as the new Catwoman? I am down with it. Actually, I'm digging it. The thing that would make it better is if Hathaway's penchant for nudity would make it into this film. What was the name of that Romcom where she spent a lot of time naked? I never saw it because even that seemed like too much to sit through to she here. But I would be willing to sit through the latest Batman to catch a glimpse of her.

Here are some links to get you through today.

Road trip! The Dave Dameshek Football Program makes a road trip from Pittsburgh to the Hall of Fame. There is plenty of hooey and applesauce as the host likes to say.

And look, it's a bonus podcast with Marcus Allen, be sure to listen.

More Marcus Allen: Let's get Damon Allen in the Pro Football Hall of Fame. It is the "Pro" right.

Even more Marcus Allen: At least he's on my side here on the return of football to Los Angeles.

Well, my opinion might be here eventually. Keep checking back.

America!

O.J. Simpson on two greatest lists

2011-08-03T19:13:00.000-07:00

O.J. Simpson is in the top-five of two special lists -- and neither one has to do with getting away with murder. No, Simpson is one of the greatest running backs ever, and he is also one of greatest NFL actors to portray a policy officer.

And with the passing of Moses Hightower, here is a look at the six greatest leaps from the gridiron to on-screen cop.

There is another list that was put together when trying to figure out Marshall Faulk's place among the all-time great running backs. He has to be behind Simpson here, too, right?

America!

Getting hit by the Bus

2011-08-02T14:23:00.000-07:00

Well, I have already had to swear off one former Los Angeles running back, so why not one more? Jerome Bettis agrees with Eric Dickerson’s assessment that the NFL should not return to L.A. Thankfully, Bettis is raising money for concussion awareness as part of the Pace program.

You can read the story here.

Today’s Pick Six: Ultimate Dream Teams, including the original Dream Team. No not that one, the other one. (Don’t worry, it will all make sense to you when you click on the link.)

Ray Lewis said he would kill for an ice cream cone. Let's hope it does not come to that.

Jermichael Finley sure can multitask. Check out this grab.

America!

We have bush!

2011-08-01T08:35:00.000-07:00

Justin Verlander called Erick Aybar's bunt attempt to breakup his no-hitter in the eighth inning "bush league." Even though Verlander's own manager Jim Leyland was cool with it.

What really is "bush league" is throwing the ball away on purpose. Which is what it appears that Verlander did when he tossed Aybar's bunted ball into right field. Amazing how somebody can be so in control, yet throw the ball so wildly.

The who incident inspired this Pick Six about possible unwritten NFL rules that we would love to see.

Also on Monday:

Jets coach Rex Ryan might have the worst tattoo of anybody who isn't rushing a fraternity this fall.

How will you remember Randy Moss? And what team will you remember him with? I will always remember him for being upset that his posse wasn't allowed on the field prior to the 2000 NFC Championship Game. Oh, and running over a cop.

The Tweet of the day is right here.

America!

When is this returning?

2011-06-14T14:35:00.000-07:00

If you have followed this blog for any amount of time, you may or may not have known that our beloved founder went on to be rather famous. Or infamous. And since we're tired of just lifting his stuff, we have asked him to come back and contribute.

So look for him to return in the near future. Maybe as soon as today.

Suck It, Chowds!

2011-06-01T20:40:00.001-07:00

I'm not going to pretend that I pay a lot of attention to the NHL, but any time a bunch of Massholes get their hearts ripped out on national t.v., we as a people are better for it.

I've been to Vancouver. It's clean and quiet for a large city. It is surrounded by tree covered mountains and lapidary waterways. The men are polite and somewhat stoic. The women are demur but can down a beer or clear a bong with the best of them.

I've been to Boston, too. It smells like pee.

The Ultimate Weak Ender: Ready for the Apocalypse?

2011-05-19T20:38:00.000-07:00

As most of you know, the world will end on Saturday.
Since our host is preparing himself by pounding Zima tall boys and making a Norah Jones mix cd, it falls to me to post the final word here on THN.

Now, some of you may just think that doomsday predictions are the currency of the pathologically narcissistic- folks convinced on some unconscious level that, unlike the billions of human beings before them, their deaths will not be part of the ongoing cycle of life like rain returning to the sea. No, theirs will be a transformation of space and time itself. The very universe shall cease to be at the exact moment that they do. What's so conceited about that?

Others here will be quick to point out that the "Rapture" doesn't appear anywhere in the Bible. They will assert that it is a wilful misreading of lines stripped of their context performed by the theologically illiterate. A misreading designed to let the believer indulge in not only a sense of moral superiority, but the certitude that all those who think, love, or worship differently than they do will be visited with unimaginable suffering while the believer gets to watch. What could be more Christian than that? Let's see where your fancy book-learning gets you while you're bobbing for offal in a lake of molten lava, Smart Guy!

And sure some of you will assume these folks have the same level of gullibility as the ones who forward that email to 10 friends so that Mr. Gates will donate the money for little Timmy's operation. Fine, like you never sold your Rascal scooter to pay for the transfer fee on secret Nigerian government funds!

Look all I'm saying is- let's cut a deal. If you make it and I don't, can I have any beer, kerosene, firearms, porn, beans, asbestos lined undergarments, beer, shamwows, porn, Biz Markie cds, beer and porn that you leave behind? If I make it and you don't, can you drop by and feed my dogs? You can even have my copy of 2Pacalypse Now...

The Weak Ender: Sit Down. I Got This.

2011-05-13T10:44:00.000-07:00

Alright. Since our host is currently busy trying to erase the memory of the Lakers/Mavs Game 4 by throwing back Butter Baby's and putting "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" on repeat, I'll take care of your traditional Friday post. Here's your hot sports-personality chick, SoCal's own Elita Loresca. Elita is the sports anchor on the NBC morning broadca...

WHAT?

She's not a sports anchor? You're kidding!

She's the weather girl? Well, (bleep) me! You all have my sincere apologies. I don't know how this happened. I will work on correcting this immediately...
I'm going to get right on it...

Really...

Should be fixed any minute...

A yup...

any minute now...

The Weak Ender: Osama bin Lackey Gets His

2011-05-05T23:09:00.001-07:00

Well I figured that most of you have found some other neighboring site that you would rather spend your time with. But for those of you who still want to hang out, here is the miss Kelly Brook just for fun.

Honestly, I have no justification for having that photo. And in the years of doing this site, I've always prided myself on having a reason or a connection for The Weak Ender girl, even if it was super flimsy.

That has changed here.

And here is the the thing. Lots is going to be changing. I promise to sort things out with this site real soon, but The Hater Nation is going to be stronger than ever.

I did, however, want to touch on what a great day it was on Thursday. The Angels finally cracked the Boston curse for the season. Rebounding from a potential heart-breaking loss to not only winning in extra innings on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, but pounding that a-hole John Lackey for everything that he is worth in the finale.

A split in Boston felt like a sweep.

It is really tough with these Boston games, the Mos Eisley of America. Losing can be bad. And being owned by say the Twins or Indians is one thing. But when it's Boston, well, it is just tough to take.

Thankfully the Angels put them away. And I am optimistic for the future of the team.

That's all for now. Thank you to those still coming by. I really do appreciate it. And if you know my real name and my real job, you know where to find me and I am writing more than ever. So look it up.

Oh hell, The Hatriot coined Osama bin Lackey, too.

USA! USA! USA!

2011-05-02T14:34:00.000-07:00

(Via the Hatriot)

Free show this Saturday

2011-04-22T10:44:00.001-07:00

If you are looking for a good time this Saturday, some of the friends of THN will be performing at a benefit show for tsunami relief at the Harp Inn, Costa Mesa from 3-7 p.m.

Lounge-O-Rama
CrownVic
Adam Rank

Be sure to check it out.

Oh, and it's FREE! Was that mentioned.

The Weak Ender: This Isn't Happening

2011-04-21T23:38:00.000-07:00

The NFL released it's schedule this week. What a bunch of Billy Mumphrys -- a bunch of cockeyed optimists believing that there will even be a season next year. But a couple of things stand out about the Chargers schedule.

The Chargers play four of it's first five games at home. Which will be awesome when the first month of the season is erased.

The Chargers also don't have a game in late October, ensuring that there will not be a glimpse of the Chargers Girls in Halloween costumes.

NFL.com noticed this, too, and pointed it out here.

That writer for the NFL was on fire this week. He had a number of great stories.

Here are some fantasy football predictions.

Here are some gift ideas for Candice Crawford in honor of Tony Romo's birthday.

And NFL.com continues to take the piss out of Hugh Jackman, too.

Never forget

2011-04-19T09:01:00.000-07:00

The Post Mortem: What a melt down

2011-04-10T22:44:00.001-07:00

Holy Tin Cup, Batman. That poor Rory McIlroy ... could you even watch such a thing? That was just awful.

And then you realize that he plays golf for a living, and then you really don't give a (expletive).

Besides, how upset were the Masters folks that an African-American won the tournament?

Just kidding people, lighten up.

I HAVE the most hate for Boston. A terrible, nearly worthless city. And their sports teams are even worse. On Friday, the unthinkable happened to me at the gym. No, it wasn't that I was actually at the gym. Rather, I cheered when A-Rod hit a home run.

Sure it was against the Sox. Sure it was against John Lackey. But there should never be a circumstance where rooting for the Yankees is acceptable.

However, you have to love how the Boston fans are finally starting to turn on Lackey. The boos, and even the newspapers are starting to rip him. Maybe the Angels knew what they were doing when they let him go.

Though, they should not make that mistake with Jered Weaver. And any organization which wants you to buy a schedule magnet on the home opener starts to wary me just a touch.

OH AND did I mention that it was cold for the 14 inning game I stayed for? That was the kind of game where you would have been better off drinking beers in the parking lot for nine innings and then coming in for the rest of the game.

GOMER'S WIFE is upset that newspapers have been reporting the birth of her twins.

That's probably because the kids don't look like Peyton.

AND FINALLY ...

What you have all been waiting for, the Cowgirl interview.

The Weak Ender: At least the Sox are losing

2011-04-07T23:42:00.000-07:00

I'll be honest, I have no discernible reason for having a photo of Ursula Andress up here. Maybe I'm just in a Rat Pack mood. Although not a classic Rat Pack gal, she had been linked to many entertainers of her era, and I believe she was married to John Derek at one point.

But let's get down to business. Our pal the Reverend still is not over the U Conn win on Monday. And the text keep coming in daily. But maybe U Conn's good fortune is bringing doom and gloom to the Red Sox.

The (rhymes with bunts) are currently 0-5, and what's interesting to note here, is that no team has ever started 0-5 and then gone on to win the AL pennant. But watch, they will sweep the Yankees and then the Sox will start to run away with the division.

Still, it's entertaining to see the team that many thought could go 162-0 (seriously) stumble so badly out of the gate. And that base running error to end the game on Thursday was priceless.

D.J. Gallo of the Sports Pickle said it best saying that the Red Sox could do the reverse Patriots and lose every game except for the last one. That would be kind of cool. But even then, ESPN would have the Sox in its top five power rankings.

But let's hope for America's sake that the Sox continue to lose.

And look, the Angels home opener is on Friday. Of course, the weather sucks this week. But nothing beats this weekend. Finally on a Friday again. Get ready for some drunk tweets this weekend.

PICK SIX is a new daily feature on NFL.com that I have become rather fond of. A couple of the better ones this week.

Martellus Bennett's greatest hits. Although, the author -- likely because of NFL.com's restrictions -- was very vague about Bennett's video escapades which included the "Black Olympics" featuring the Cowboys tight end calling himself the Michael Phelps of fried chicken. But the author did get Bennett again right here.

My favorite, potential assailants for the Donovan McNabb hit and run. Love No. 5 on that list. Guess you can say whatever you want about Rush Limbaugh.

AND FINALLY ...

There are conflicting reports, but Raiders owner Al Davis could be in serious condition up in Oakland. All kidding aside, he could be near the end.

Jay Bilas is right, Big East deserved just one team

2011-04-04T22:47:00.001-07:00

Some thought that Jay Bilas was just absurd when he said that only team from the Big East that deserved to be in the tournament was Connecticut. Or at least that was the impression that I got while listening to him talk this week.

For some reason, U Conn has really started rubbing me the wrong way. Almost like they were sorta-Duke like. I thought I was alone in my seemingly irrational hatred of U Conn. Even though the referees really seemed to zap San Diego State's momentum with a bogus technical foul call on a phantom bump.

But my good friend The Reverend passed along this unsolicited text message moments are Duke-conn's win.

Thanks Big East for bringing your crap brand of hoops to the big dance. Go (expletive) yourself (expletive) holes (expletive) suckers. You can take it away from U Conn when it is caught cheating again (expletives).

Is that all?

I think I am going to put on a sandpaper glove and pleasure myself. It will be much more enjoyable than that (expletive). I have not been this disappointed about something since prison sex.

Are they like Duke at all?

Yeah without the rule following (good point). The Most Interesting Man in the World just killed himself during that (expletive).

And then we decided to call them U (rhymes with bunt). Seriously, who knew this anger lurked?

ESPN HAD a rather interesting video about Duke's upset over UNLV 20 years ago. Good stuff. Tough to admit, but Coach Kryhjgdfsertuyski had a solid game plan against UNLV.

And coach Tarkanian had a rather cryptic quote about the game, too, telling his team that it can't play in a close game because it won't get any calls.

And cue the shot of Greg Anthony's bogus fifth foul, driving the lane with an obvious block. The and-one would have been the dagger.

But in something that you rarely see in sports, the team with the inner-city black kids got jammed in favor of the alleged "good guys."

Oh, and then they insinuated that UNLV threw the game. Classy.

Speaking of the Rebels -- a quick check of the wires here -- the school cannot go wrong with former players Dave Rice or Reggie Theus taking over the job (I wish I still wrote for Fan House). But if you want to bring back the glory days, Theus needs to get that gig.

His track record at New Mexico State says enough. He's got to get that gig. And if UNLV hires him, look for the Rebels to return to the Final Four soon.

EAGLES WR DeSean Jackson certainly has a high opinion of himself. Check out this quick blurb on NFL.com.

AND FINALLY ...

Really enjoyed Wrestlemania, though many in the IWC are calling it a glorified RAW. I think that one thing that is happening is that the Rock kind of sucks. Listen, nobody marked like me when the Rock returned. But when you see him compared to Stone Cold, you remember who the best guy was during the Attitude Era.

He was down the list behind SCSA and Shawn Michaels.

Lately, though, the Rock has bored me. Not to HHH levels, but close.

And now we have to wait a year for his match with John Cena? Well, if it keeps them off television for that long, I'm all for it.

BTW, what the (expletive) has happened to Wade Barrett that he's getting pushed down the card? This kid was a riser and this is how they are treating him? Unreal. He has the Intercontinental title, I guess, but this is just strange booking.

The Weak Ender: What an era

2011-04-01T02:21:00.000-07:00

When somebody tells me that Britney Spears is making a comeback, I might be in the minority, but I am pretty happy about it. Does she walk into bathrooms barefoot? Of course.

Does she have her kids on her lap when she drives? She sure does.

But pound for pound, is there anybody hotter when she is in her "Toxic" shape? That's hard to argue.

And now she's trying to get back into the game, well, I'm a fan. I don't care who knows.

Opening Day was on Thursday. And to be honest, I am going to cut this short because of that. Because I did get into my cups during the day, especially after the Angels won a close one.

But come on, the world is just a better place when baseball was back in season, and Britney is trying to be hot again.

So I apologize. Not a great week (unless you follow me at my real job under my real name), but we'll crank it up again.

Happy Opening Day

2011-03-31T11:56:00.000-07:00

Happy Opening Day everybody. Honestly, how is this not a national holiday. The always entertaining Adam Rank on NFL.com asked this very question today during his daily Pick Six.

Hope your team wins today ... unless you are a Yankees or Red Sox fan.

Two words from the Mid-Majors

2011-03-28T16:56:00.001-07:00

Suck it!

The Weak Ender: (Expletive) Duke

2011-03-24T22:38:00.000-07:00

Have I been missing something with this Taryn Manning being on Hawaii Five-0? I was never really familiar with this broad until she showed up on my doorstep nude.

You know, on the cover of Playboy.

Anybody watching that show? I am not even sure what day it's on. And it has stars on it that I like, Scott Caan, that dude who was on The Shield. Yet, I have never seen a minute of it.

Crazy, right?

I have seen plenty of promos for it during the NCAA tournament coverage. Thursday night was a really great night for hoops. San Diego State continued to prove that it cannot stop an outstanding shooter. That dude from U Conn looked like Jimmer's long lost brother as he ended the Aztec's season.

I almost feel compelled to complain about the bull(expletive) technical call that swayed the momentum in U Conn's favor. But sometimes you have to tip your cap to a team that has that kind of savvy to flop on an innocent brush of the shoulder. Heady play.

Not the kind of thing you would see from a guy like, say, Chuck Bednarik. Whom we are all wishing makes a speedy recovery. I am no Eagles fan, but Concrete Charlie is one of my favorite players of all-time. Not that I saw him play, mind you, but anybody who comes out and bashes the pansies currently playing in the NFL gets my love.

What a great guy. Salt of the Earth kind of dude who was a waist gunner on a B-24 (I believe) in World War II, successfully carrying out 30 combat mission in Germany. That seems unheard of.

So I do wish him well. And you had better, too. And if the current players really wanted to show that they cared for Charlie, they would offer to pay for his medical expenses, if he has any. That would be a great way to get some publicity and show that you are serious about caring for the older generation.

NFL.com rustled up a great list of quotes from Bednarik that you can read right here.

A few of my favorites:

“You’ve got to play with that killer instinct, man. You’ve got to hate that guy across from you. Then after the game is over, tell him what a nice guy he is. Shake his hand. Especially if you win.”

"The positions I played, every play, I was making contact, not like that … Deion Sanders. He couldn’t tackle my wife. He’s back there dancing out there instead of hitting.”

Boom, roasted.

Get well Charlie.

OF COURSE we haven't even talked about Duke getting pants by Arizona. Not since UNLV has a team crushed the Blue Devils so thoroughly. Well done, Wildcats.

Jake Ryan (who disappeared) pointed out that Butler is starting to out-Gonzaga Gonzaga. Butler is only one win away from consecutive Final Fours. Matt Howard always seems to make the right plays when he needs too, right?

Oh, and what a night when BYU finally getting eliminated is almost an afterthought.

Duke and BYU both eliminated, what a great night for America. The University of Arizona fans certainly seemed to think so, chanting USA-USA-USA during its victory. See, people pay attention to THN.

BTW ... Jake Ryan went four-for-four last night. Well done.

BENGALS COACH Marvin Lewis called out Chad Ochocinco this week by saying that it's typically that 85 has found another challenge he won't follow through with. And if you think about it, Lewis has a point.

But the Ocho did follow through with his pledge to go from Johnson to Ochocinco a few years back, so it is hard to label him a commitmentophobe.

Attention whore would be more succinct.

THE TAMPA Bay Buccaneers have been rumored to be the next team on Hard Knocks, and NFL.com provided a list of possible alternatives right here.

A couple of my favorites.

49ers

Compelling storyline: New coach Jim Harbaugh calls out Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, and says the 49ers have the talent to compete for the Pac-10 title. When pressed by reporters if he means NFC West, Harbaugh says, “No, I am talking about the stronger conference right now.”

Potential breakout star: QB Alex Smith. Oh wait, we’ve been waiting for this since 2005. We haven’t waited this long for a failed experiment since Guns-n-Roses’ “Chinese Democracy.”

Raiders

Compelling storyline: This is a tough one because remaking a popular series from the 1970s into TV shows has recently failed, just look at Hawaii Five-0. But even their press conferences are more interesting than most teams in general. Seriously, why hasn’t this happened yet?

Potential breakout star: Al Davis‘ overhead projector.

Actually, the correct answer for potential breakout star for the Raiders is Al Davis' untreated syphilis.

What, too soon?

Seriously though. How is Davis fine but Mr. Bednarik fighting for his life in a hospital?

AND FINALLY

Sorry if the words are outdated. I got caught, didn't figure that Duke would be gone so soon. I am recording this song one year.

The Hater Nation is proud to welcome back Pete Gillen to lead us in song once again now that Duke has been eliminated.

Many of you may remember me, Pete Gillen, the former head coach, of the University of Virginia’s men’s basketball team. If not, you will recall, that I am a very emotional leader, and my New England voice sounds, just like, President John F. Kennedy, his brotha, and Mayor Quimby from, the television program, The Simpsons, combined.

With Mahch Madness set to begeen, I am here today, to tell you of the greatness, that is Dook Univahrsity, men’s basketball. It is hard not to know about Dook in Mahch. As I told, radio personality Jim Rome a few yeahs ago, Dook is Dook. They’re on TV more, than reruns of Leave it to Beavahhhhh… reruns.

Now, in an attempt to stay relevant, since the Beavah’s show hasn’t been in steady reruns for at least 20 years, I will bring to you an original song of mine, sung to the tune, of another current, popular number, Sir Paul McCartney’s, Hey Jude:

Hey Dook, don't feel so bad.
Take a bad bracket and make it bettah.
Remember to get off to a slow start,
Against a team that is the Play-In winnah.

Hey Dook, don't be afraid.
The brackets were made so you’d play no one bettah.
The minute you play a Top 25 team,
You’ll pray for Christian Laettnah.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Dook, refrain
Stop shooting the ball from upon your shoulders
For welll you know that you're gonna loose yah cool
By making Irving's shooting a little colder

Hey Dook, don’t be ashamed
You get all the calls, but its for the bettah
But, despite of all of the help
You have no chance of beating the Tiguhs!

Hey Dook, don’t cut those nets down.
Try to survive in the tourney, like an 11th-seedah.
Remembah to let the refs and bracket committee into your heart,
As well as your coach, with a name with too many f-ing leddahs.

So find a ditch, and like Hurley, drive right on in
So they see that Singler ain’t no Laettnah.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Dook, you'll do,
Youh on TV mohr than Leave it to Beavahhhhhh.

Hey Dook, don't feel bad.
At least Seth Greenberg didn’t make it, eithah.
Remember it’s not the color of your skin,
It’s hard to win without players like Battiah, Boozah and
Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, oh!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK!

SING ALONG NAHW!

Na Na Na Naaaaah Na Na Naaaaaaah (expletive) DOOK!!!

DOOK, DOOK, DA, DOOK, DOOK, DOOKIE DOOKIE!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK...

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK...

Alirght, just the ACC fans now!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK...

Alright, just the Arizona fans now!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK...

Everybody together!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK...

The Post Mortem: The Big What?

2011-03-20T23:03:00.000-07:00

Congratulations to Notre Dame for putting the exclamation point on what had to be considered an utterly embarrassing tournament start for the Big East. Only two teams survived to the Sweet 16, and the only reason that happened was because the bracket paired up Big East teams, ensuring that somebody had to make it from the most overrated conference in America.

You splinter off a few of those teams (not easy to do with 11 qualifiers) and you are looking at no Big East representation. Outstanding.

Charles Barkley has helped make this the greatest tournament so far in history. The NCAA, CBS, Viacom finally made the right call by discontinuing the DirecTV tournament pass (seriously, why are sports league keep this failed experiment in satellite afloat?) and putting all of the games on broadcast television.

Hey, did you hear that NFL? While you dicks were busy pissing and moaning about your billions of play money, one sports entity and broadcast partner was getting it right. Could you imagine CBS putting morning games on four different networks, and FOX doing the same? That would be horrible to allow the public to watch the games that they want to see.

But I digress, this is about Barkley at the moment.

The best moment of the tournament so far came during a studio moment when Barkley was running down the Big East with Rick Pitino on the set. Pitino looked as if one of his one-night stands had walked on the set to tell him that she was pregnant and needed money for an abortion.

Pitino went on to say that Notre Dame would not lose to Florida State (uh, o.k.), and the Big East would have two teams in the Final Four.

Not happening.

By the same token, does anybody remember when the media was crying because VCU was given a chance to be in the tournament? I hate to say it, but the NCAA got it right here. Funny, strange things like that can happen you actually decide to settle things on the field.

Another great part of the tournament was that most of the anxiety teams were eliminated. We were a few clutch shots from Michigan away from getting rid of all of the axis of evil teams. As only Duke remains.

And if I may take a moment to say this, I am so glad that we found a way to give both Duke and North Carolina home games during the first rounds of the tournament. Remember those harrowing times when one of those teams were sent out of Greensboro? Awful. Now the referees have a chance to be intimidated by two fan bases, and not just one.

And trust me, a current college referee once confided to me that they do get swayed by the home crowd.

Ohio State also got a home game, too, to be fair. But come on, they lost LeBron James publicly, so I will give them a pass.

The referees also warrant some discussion here. And this needs to be said, how soon are we going to have the players call their own fouls? Being a basketball referee is the most impossible job imaginable. You would have a better chance making the Napa "know how" song a top hit.

(A quick aside, can we just cut to the chase and have Alicia Keys sing the Napa song and get it over with?)

Here is what I would say, just swallow your whistle in the case of Butler vs. Pittsburgh. If the referees didn't call a foul in the final two seconds, the game has the same result, yet your integrity remains intact.

Nobody wants to see a five-second violation. Especially after you only counted to four.

And for (expletive) sake, Washington was not fouled in the first half? It wasn't like the Huskies weren't driving to the basket. Ten fouls to two? Again, this is why teams should not get home games in the tournament.

OUR MAN from the Insomniac's Lounge with the seedings of the teams that have eliminated the Big East: 13, 11, 11, 11, 10, 8, 8, 4, 3.

WHAT ARE the odds that Jim Nantz even watched ESPN's documentary on the Fab 5? All he heard was that somebody took a shot at Duke (listen to him, he had no idea what he was talking about), and he wanted to speak out.

Nantz is fighting Mike Patrick to be the Joesph Goebbels of Duke. Nantz and Patrick likely argue over what Coach Kryzgfhfvcbnmdfghjrtyski's taint tastes like.

AND FINALLY ...

Whitney Cummings is hot, right?

The Weak Ender: Huge Upset

2011-03-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

There is always a bit of disappointment when Utah State gets knocked out of the tournament, but only for the reasons stated above. And speaking of upsets, this is the first time that I have failed to fill out a tournament bracket since I was in grade school. It feels kind of nice, too. I thought that I would really miss it, but to be honest, it doesn't matter much to me at all.

Now I can just enjoy it when teams like Louisville and Vanderbilt get knocked off. Not to mention, St. John's too. Honestly, there is nothing better than watching the Big East teams get knocked around a little bit. I think we have come to the point where we don't need 11 teams from one conference in the tournament.

Although, those teams do a good job of playing the spoiler and giving us somebody to root against.

Oh, thank you for stopping by UC Santa Barbara. The Big West sucks.

BYU managed to sneak by without really being hurt by the honor code. But Gonzaga has a chance to be America's darlings again when it takes on the Cougars.

Sorry to cut it short, but the games are starting again.

GRANT HILL responded to the Fab Five, after the Duke standout was called a (female dog) and Uncle Tom during the ESPN documentary. Hill took to the New York Times to offer a rebuttal.

The money shot ...

It was a sad and somewhat pathetic turn of events, therefore, to see friends narrating this interesting documentary about their moment in time and calling me a bitch and worse, calling all black players at Duke “Uncle Toms” and, to some degree, disparaging my parents for their education, work ethic and commitment to each other and to me. I should have guessed there was something regrettable in the documentary when I received a Twitter apology from Jalen before its premiere. I am aware Jalen has gone to some length to explain his remarks about my family in numerous interviews, so I believe he has some admiration for them.

Way to go, Grant. Way to fight the image of being an Uncle Tom by going to the New York Times. You showed them. Just kidding.

I get that Hill was pissed off. I am sure that he's heard this kind of stuff for years.

However, I really don't think that Hill really got Jalen Rose's point.

Rose was very honest saying that he was bitter because like Hill, his father was a famous professional athlete. But Rose did not have a relationship with his father. Rose made the point that his mother had to take numerous jobs to make ends meet. Hill's mother was a college roommate of Hilary Rodham. Rose's point about Duke not recruiting inner-city kids can be debated, I guess, I really have no idea.

But I thought that Rose was really just explaining why he had a resentment for Hill and Duke. I thought it was an honest look. I didn't believe that Rose still felt that way, and subsequent interviews proved that to be the case, but he was just talking about his feelings he had at the time.

I thought it was a great glimpse into the mind of a young, black athlete and I hope those voices are given more of a forum, and not suppressed because it might be viewed as politically incorrect.

AND FINALLY ...

WR Randy Moss has become a stalker of the Patriots. The dude has not stopped talking about the Patriots since he was traded by the team last year.

Hey Randy, that girl at the bar you have been hitting on? She left like 20 minutes ago.

It's time to move on.

Just Fabulous

2011-03-13T23:11:00.001-07:00

The Monday after selection Sunday brings about one of the greatest traditions in sports. No, not filling out your March Madness bracket. No, the greatest tradition in sports is figuring out which school was jobbed out of an NCAA berth.

Now that, my friends, is fun.

Colorado, congratulations, you are this year's school that should be there. Not that it will be much consolation, but Colorado would likely get bounced early, so what are you really missing out on?

Although, watching San Diego State get a No. 2 seed, does anybody think that the Pac-10 made a mistake taking Colorado over SDSU? The Aztecs have the better football program, the better baseball program and no doubt a better baseball program.

I am sure there is some sort of academic interest of taking Colorado, but when Arizona State is part of your conference, you cannot be too high brow.

The Aztecs will just have to console themselves with a trip to the Final Four.

Speaking of SDSU, Marshall Faulk was interviewed during the Mountain West championship game by Lindsay Soto -- co-workers over at NFL Network -- and she said that Marshall was the most famous SDSU alumni. And Marshall kind of shook his head like, yeah, that's right.

Uh, have the two of you heard of Tony Gwynn? The announcers were quick to talk about Gwynn and Michael Cage (not that he's in the class of the previous two), but come on. I'll forgive Lindsay because, well, just look at her.

But Marshall should know better.

MORE TOURNAMENT talk will happen later this week, along with an invitation to the bracket.

AND FINALLY ...

If you missed ESPN's documentary on the Fab Five, do yourself a favor and watch this thing. The whole 30-for-30 has swung and missed on some great ideas like the Raiders in Los Angeles and the USFL.

This was the best I have seen of the series.

I dug the Fab Five when it burst on the scene in the 1990s. Although, I grew to dislike Chris Webber over the years. Probably because he was a Sacramento King. But Jalen Rose comes off great. All of those who participated really did (Webber declined).

Rose, though, really drove it home.

There is nothing I can say that will do it justice. So I will just again encourage you to check it out.

The Weak Ender: Women ain't cheap

2011-03-10T22:14:00.000-08:00

I am starting to get upset with the producers of V or whomever is telling Laura Vandervoort that she needs to lose weight. Because she was absolutely lovely as Supergirl, but is becoming way too skinny on V.

Is she trying to make her face look more reptilian?

Are girls striving for that Charlie Sheen chic look?

Because it's working. You already made Anna go with the Annie Lennox look, and now you are making Laura way, way too skinny. Not cool at all.

SPEAKING OF young ladies, Tiki Barber is learning the hard way that young (female dogs) aren't easy. Or cheap. Barber's bad life choices have led him to seek a return to the NFL and the millions he walked away from when he was in his prime.

Barber's personal problems are of public record, but I could not help but be tickled one when commenter on one of the sports boards opined, "We don't know what Tiki's wife was like, so we shouldn't judge."

And you have a point, slick. For all we know, Ginny could have been a horrendous shrew who got what was coming to her. But we don't know that.

What I do know, is that she was eight months pregnant with twins when he started shacking up with some college coed. You might want to walk out on your wife, but on twins? Nah, there is no justification for what he did. And simply, he's a douche bag. There is no excuse to walk out on your twins like that.

But this story will have a happy ending. The best result would be for a team to take a chance on Tiki and one of his teammates decides to order the code red on his ass during training camp. That would be the best possible scenario.

The likely scenario is that he will get a sniff, but will be cut before training camp even starts.

And another scenario, though unlikely, would be for Tiki to return, have a great season and have his team win the Super Bowl. How is this a great outcome you ask?

Well if Tiki does well and gets all of the accolades, the whore who would cheat on a married man expecting twins will likely get dumped for a younger, hotter model.

Personally, I'm holding out for Tiki to crash into a tanker carrying Magic Johnson's blood, which he consumes through an open gash on his balls.

That's just me.

THE LAKERS may have lost on Thursday night, but at least nobody is crying about it. Hey TNT, though, playing that game on a weeknight in the afternoon, that seems like smart planning.

ANYBODY USING the Youtube to MP3 adapter for free? It's the tops.

AND FINALLY ...

Looks like the NFL is going forward with the lockout, barring some sort of miracle. I think you would have a better chance of getting Bud Grant to smile at a blackjack table after some plopper just split a pair of 10s on a bad count deck.

And to be honest, this is exactly what the NFL owners wanted when they originally hired Opie way back when. The power brokers like Jerry Jones, Robert Kraft and Jerry Richardson want to break the union. If you don't think Richardson is serious, realize that he fired his two boys.

The NFL owners envy the financial setup of Major League Baseball. Jones and Kraft, in particular, own the Yankees and Red Sox of the NFL, so they see how much money they are missing out on by having to share with some of the smaller markets.

Anybody who witnessed Jones trying to put seats into every crevice of Cowboys stadium, this guy loves his money. And you can bet that he cringed at the thought of two small-market teams playing in the Super Bowl made his stomach churn.

These guys are going to do everything in their power to break the union, make more money and try to widen the divide between the upper crust teams and the small-market teams that just get by.

That's been Jones plan ever since he came to the NFL in 1989, and now he has a commissioner in his pocket who will help him achieve that goal.

This mess is going to get bloody, and even though the league lost out trying to swindle that extra money on a TV deal, the owners will win out because the players are dopes.

The owners have the money and that whole 18-game nonsense was a stroke of genius because they already have the players on the run, bargaining against something they didn't want in the first place.

It is so underhanded that you almost have to admire them. But at the end of the day, they are going to cost people jobs and that blows. Though, it does seem to be the American way -- making conditions as brutal as possible, keep a few rich, and make sure nobody has health care. Yep, that's America.

And I'm pissed.

Tom Zbikowski: Pipe it

2011-03-07T16:55:00.001-08:00

Tom Zbikowski announced today that he wants to fight Chad Ochocinco. And almost immediately America said, "Who the hell is Tom Zbikowski?"

Seriously.

Apparently Zbikowski plays for the Ravens. He's a safety. And he hasn't murdered anybody so he quickly falls down the list of Ravens I would have ever heard of. He has a website (but anybody can get one of those). Zbikowski has started 14 games in his three seasons in the NFL.

Alright, I am already bored with this guy.

Not surprisingly, news of this challenge came as Zbikowski prepares for his fight on Saturday. Well that is convienient. Zbikowski even invited Ochocinco to be a guest at his latest fight. Good lord, could you try harder dude? Did the mowhawk thing not work out for you previously and this is what you have resorted to?

This guy is a douche.

I might not always find Ochocinco to be entertaining, but at least he's in the main event. People have heard of him. Guys barely above the practice squad should probably refrain from calling out guys who actually make a living playing in the NFL. This ploy for attention is weak, but probably fitting for a guy who plays for the Ravens.

Let me know when Ochocinco is challenged by an actual NFL player.

Not a good look for a man

2011-03-07T16:43:00.000-08:00

You never thought it would happen to a guy like Tom Brady, but he’s officially reached his midlife crisis. You would think that a supermodel wife and three Super Bowl rings would prevent that. His new ponytail says otherwise (thank you, Sports Grid).

Although, you probably should blame David Beckham's influence for this after the two hung out last summer. Thanks a lot, Beckham. Not only have you failed to make soccer any more popular here in the States, you have turned one of our nation's heroes into a ponytail guy.

And really, that barely classifies as a ponytail, too.

That thing -- I guess I will concede and call it a ponytail -- looks like the kind of ponytail that you would see from that guy with the receding, horseshoe-hairstyle who is trying to cling to his fleeting moments of vitality. Trust me, I can identify with the feeling.

But the ponytail is the wrong way to go about it. Do you think Hugh Jackman would sport a ponytail? Hell no. Get a new car, Tom. Wear a Hawaiian shirt to work. Maybe win a playoff game. Anything but the ponytail.

Although, in fairness, it's still cooler than Peyton Manning's hair.

The Weak Ender: BYU would not approve of Merriman

2011-03-03T23:32:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess we can't blame Shawne Merriman for making an ass out of himself for chasing around WWF divas such as Maryse Ouellet. But we can blame me for not saving it for The Weak Ender.

Now I am expecting an email or text from Mark D. telling me that the TWE chick should have been the Bella Twins.

Yep, that was a pretty flimsy opening. But this is what I get for getting a jump on the news.

THE JETS released Vernon Gholston this week, and the Raiders let go of Robert Gallery, parting ways with two of the biggest busts in the team's respective histories. But who has had the worst luck drafting players?

The Jets have Gholston, Johnny Lam Jones and Blair Thomas. The Raiders -- and just looking at quarterbacks -- have had Todd Marinovich, Marc Wilson and JaMarcus Russell. This one isn't even close, right?

The Jets get made fun of during that ESPN montage during the draft, but the Raiders have really struggled with the draft picks. Here is something that will make you sick. From 1985-87, the Raiders passed on Bernie Kosar, Earnest Givins and Bruce Matthews. Of course, hindsight is always perfect and you never know how those guys would have done with the Raiders, but it's always fun to speculate.

One you can't dismiss, though, is when the Raiders picked Marinovich, the Falcons drafted a quarterback nine picks later. You might have heard of him, his name was Brett Favre.

Man, he would have been the perfect Raider.

MOTLEY CRUE and Poison will be together again for a first time this summer in what promises to be a pretty awesome tour. My only regret is that I am unable to grow some air out in order to spray some Aqua Net into it.

AND FINALLY ...

This is going to be a fairly lengthy rant against the Mormon church. If you are easily offended, or just don't want to put up with my (expletive), that's understandable. You are free to keep it light here. And really, I try to keep politics out of it for the most part. But I have to say this. And if you know me, and who I have lost in this world, you will understand where I am coming from.

BYU made a big statement with its honor code this week, suspending center Brandon Davies for knocking up his girlfriend. Imagine that, a center getting booted off the team for penetrating the hole.

Well, at least we won't have to worry about the Cougars making a run in the NCAA tournament now.

BYU and the Mormon religion has taken a beating this week. And why not, it's fun to bash those whose opinion differs from our own. Especially when they are against the very things we hold dear such as boozing, (expletive), and fighting. So we should castigate those who want to live differently than us and have different value systems.

Although, I fail to give any sympathy for the Mormon church because it was the LDS who funded Proposition 8 in California. So while all of the Jimmer fanatics cry about those of us who continue to make fun of their honor code, know you know those consenting adults -- who you don't want to get married -- feel.

Actually, you don't. You see, the Mormons are free to practice their beliefs and even have a school that oppresses the future Planned Parenthood bombers of America. Those Mormons will go to church on Sunday, give 10 percent of their earnings to ensure that some consenting adults in this country are not free to practice their beliefs.

And that is the difference.

It is times like this, when BYU is a laughing stock that I can really feel God's love and know that he's on our side.

Sorry for the soap box, but it's something that I feel strongly about. And having the BYU basketball team lose a few games won't make up for the hatred and fear that the Mormon church has propagated over the years. But for a brief time it will certainly make me feel a little bit better.

He's just better than you

2011-03-02T12:20:00.001-08:00

Bills LB Shawne Merriman got into a Twitter war with WWF Superstar CM Punk recently over an incident that happened pool side in Costa Rica. The news of this ‘tweef’ came as a big shock to everybody because most did not realize that Merriman was still in the league.

Really, did you know Merriman was still playing?

The gist was that Merriman apparently tried to rush some of the WWF divas, was rebuffed, and Punk called him out on it. Then the name-calling ensued. Hey, the Bills suck in the Super Bowl. ... You are a wrestler? I thought you were the pool boy. And it was kind of hilarious.

The whole thing between Merriman and Punk was rather disappointing. I understand that sometimes an athlete feels like he is being disrespected. That he has to respond when called out in public. But this is a case where you should be the bigger man. To walk away. As Gunny Highway once said to Profile after being punished by Major Powers in the classic Heartbreak Ridge, “Don’t give the prick the satisfaction.”

So come on Punk, what is the matter with you? Why are you even condescending to talk to Merriman? Punk you are the top of the card in the WWF, the best thing in professional wrestling. Why are you talking to a guy who is the Zack Ryder of the NFL?

If Tila Tequila can fend off Merriman’s advances, do you think that the WWF Divas really need your help?

And think of that for a moment, Merriman went from Pro Bowl LB to jobbing to Tequila to now being embarrassed on Twitter abroad. And let’s not overlook the delicious irony of the WWF’s straight edge superstar laying the smack down on the NFL’s most notorious steroid abuser not named Brian Cushing.

CM Punk likes to tell WWF audiences that he is better than they are. I wish he would have exercised that restraint in this instance.

The Post Mortem: There was an award show on?

2011-02-28T16:20:00.001-08:00

The Bain, as usually, nailed it when he said that nobody is interested in watching an awards show that doesn't involve Ricky Gervais. Although, for me, I have never watched the show since the 1980s when it used to compete with the NCAA championship game in hoops.

Based on the reports, however, it does not sound like I missed much.

But if Gervais did host the Academy Awards, then I might have to reverse my field.

ONE MORE Oscars note ... is Anne Hathaway legitimately hot. Or is she only viewed this way because she's famous. Let's get some reaction to that.

LOOKS LIKE Packers QB Aaron Rodgers is enjoying his post-Super Bowl riches. Our pal Larry Brown reports that Rodgers has been linked to Jessica Szohr, Stacy Keibler and Mila Knuis.

In other words, he's quickly moving past Tom Brady in this category.

And with the way the Packers are built, Rodgers is going to challenge The Bish in terms of the amount of strange that he is going to be able to pull.

NOT SURE if you caught this poor bastard, but this male cheerleader could have cost Louisville the game against Pittsburgh. From the Yahoo! blog, the Dagger, you can check out the video here.

But the gist, a male cheerleader grabbed the ball when he thought the game was over. But there was five-tenths of a second left. So that was a technical foul on Louisville. Pittsburgh converted the two free throws and just missed a three-point attempt to tie the game.

Louisville considered punishing the cheerleader, but then they remembered that he is a male cheerleader.

AND FINALLY ...

Oil prices are down, gas prices are up. Yeah, that makes sense.

The Weak Ender: Who should you pick?

2011-02-25T01:35:00.000-08:00

The NFL scouting world will spend a lot of time watching dudes in underwear this week trying to figure out who to pick. Looks like Brooklyn Decker has made her selection.

I HAVE a bone to pick with the combine. What a seemingly useless exercise. Sure it's fun to see guys in shorts run the 3-cone drill, compete in the bench press and exhibit their hops. But does any of this really translate to football?

Oh, who can forget that one Super Bowl that hinged on how quickly a linebacker could run the shuttle drill. The Steelers would have two more titles if Rashard Mendenhall's vertical was a little better. Or if James Harrison was faster in the 3-cone drill.

So how about some combine drills that would really translate to the NFL game we have come to know and love?

Presenting the top six combine drills we would like to see.

6. Gatorade dump
The bench press is nice, but today's NFL players need to show the muscle memory to properly lift a Gatorade bucket and dump it over their respective coach's head. Too many times you see a player not get the lift needed to properly execute this move, and instead, you get a coach's backside drenched instead of a full soaking. So have prospects compete to see who can execute the most Gatorade dumps in two minutes.

Of course, this skill might not be important to some teams like the Browns or Bills.

5. Chest bumping/towel waving
Fringe NFL prospects often save their NFL careers because of their performance on special teams. But a player also could make a long-term impact chest-bumping a star player as he's coming off the field. But you have to make sure that a player could actually get the height required to make this move. Like look at the Vikings mascot Ragnar in this video (about the minute mark) ... that is why he never made it to the NFL.

Also, players who wave towels have a valuable impact on NFL team's, too. Do you think it was Aaron Rodgers' rocket arm that won Super Bowl XLV? Nah, it was the guys who waved towels on the bench to fire up the crowd. Have your would-be NFL star wave a towel for five minutes to see who has the stamina to take it to the next level.

4. Baseball cap wearing
The majority of these quarterbacks going through the combine are not going to be NFL starters. Well, unless they go to the Cardinals or Panthers because it seems that every quarterback on those rosters got a chance last year. But you want to make sure your quarterback knows how to wear that baseball cap. Throw your quarterback prospect a cap and see how he wears it. Does he go for the classic look? Or does he go with the lame backwards cap deal? The Panthers could have saved themselves a lot of heartache if they had seen this.

3. End zone celebration
You don't think having the proper end zone celebration is important? Then you have obviously never seen this video. You can actually make this a very noteworthy combine drill on NFL Network by having Paula Abdul and Hugh Jackman judge the participants. I smell ratings gold.

2. Tweeting
You can't be an NFL player without a Twitter account. But can your prospect take it to the next level. Hand a player a computer and a new Twitter account and time how fast it will take him to alienate his teammates and also tumble down draft boards. Maybe the first question could be, how do you feel about team photos?

1. Pick up a Kardashian
Well it seems like any professional athlete can land a Kardashian. But an NBA champion ends up with Khloe. An NFL champion takes Kim. Does your prospect have what it takes to make it?

AND FINALLY ...

Post Mortem: Stop Talking Cam

2011-02-22T22:14:00.000-08:00

Cam Newton showed that he wants to do the right thing this week when he announced that he was going to be full-participation at the combine. He says he wants to be transparent.

Great, maybe he should open his father's bank account, so we have some transparency.

One thing however, is really transparent, he needs to stop participating in interviews.

Newton has managed to erase nearly all of the good-will he amassed with his combine decision in a pair of interviews with Sports Illustrated‘s Peter King and Yahoo! Sports’ Dan Wetzel.

Newton told King that “I see myself not only as a football player, but an entertainer and icon.”

So did Matt Leinart. So did Reggie Bush. Hell, so did LeBron James. Now he’s one of the most despised players in all of professional sports. Hey Cam, if somebody asks you to do a “Decision”-like television show, date a Kardashian or invite some coeds to hang out in your jacuzzi, you might want to pass on that.

Maybe tell your prospective employers that you want to be an NFL quarterback, first.

Newton then told Wetzel (via Twitter), “not to sound arrogant but what I did in 1 year others couldn’t do in their entire collegiate careers.”

Funny, any time somebody starts as sentence with “not to sound arrogant,” it can’t sound anything but. Kind of like saying, “Don’t take this wrong way, but.”

And don’t take this the wrong way, Cam, your recent interviews make you sound like your decision-making ability hasn’t risen past the whole, “hey, maybe nobody will notice if I take this laptop” level you displayed at Florida. And if you think that NFL scouts and executives don’t look at this stuff, guess again.

Ryan Leaf was thought to have better tools than Peyton Manning. But Leaf reportedly blew his interview with the Colts when he told the team he was going to celebrate being drafted by taking his buddies to Las Vegas.

And even if you feel that way, you should be smart enough to know better.

You are just costing yourself money, Cam. Hopefully you have saved all of those dollars that you earned at Auburn.

THE NBA All-Star Game was here in Los Angeles, and in honor of that, I came up with the best basketball players in the NFL. Who do you have?

6. Antwaan Randle El
This spot was originally reserved for Donovan McNabb, who spent two seasons as a reserve guard at Syracuse. But, in concert with coach Mike Shanahan, conditioning is going to be an issue. So the nod goes to Randle El, who played under coach Bob Knight at Indiana. Don’t agree? Well, ask yourself this question: If you were playing pickup and had to chose between McNabb and Randle El, who would you pick?

5. Terrell Owens
Owens played at Tennessee-Chattanooga, and he has gained some juice by playing in all of those celebrity games. He also had a brief stint in the U.S. Basketball League, but yeah, enough said about that.

4. Jimmy Graham
Graham was never much of a scorer, but he was a keen rebounder and one of the top shot blockers during his career at the University of Miami. In fact, Graham ranks eighth in school history in blocks (108). You need to give love for those role-playing guys like Graham, and you can bet he would take most of the current NFL stars one-on-one.

3. Julius Peppers
Peppers was a sixth-man for a pretty good basketball program. You might have heard of it — North Carolina. Peppers averaged 7.1 points and four rebounds per game off the bench, which isn’t bad. But for the athleticism, you would probably like to see some better rebounding numbers.

2. Tony Gonzalez
Gonzalez averaged 6.8 points and 5.4 rebounds for California during his junior season, as the Golden Bears advanced all the way to the Sweet 16 in 1997. Gonzalez is one of the more celebrated former hoops players-turned NFL players, and he has shown that he can still get up while dunking footballs over a goal posts after he scores. But he doesn’t get the top spot here.

1. Antonio Gates
You might have never heard this before if you have ever watched a Chargers game on television, but Gates played basketball at Kent State. Oh, that’s right, it’s the only thing they ever talk about. Gates and the Golden Flashes advanced to the Elite 8 in 2002, while he averaged 16 points per game. He averaged 20.6 points per game the following year. Yeah, this is a no-doubter.

AND FINALLY ...

Blake Griffin knows how to dunk. But do you want to know which dunk was the best?

The Weak Ender: The case for beards

2011-02-17T23:22:00.000-08:00

The Super Bowl has created many one-hit wonders during the years — Redskins RB Timmy Smith,Raiders LB Jack Squirek and the undercover cop who took down Eugene Robinson the night before Super Bowl XXXIII.

Maybe even the crack pipe that took down Stanley Wilson.

And this year, another star was born — Brett Keisel‘s beard.

In a Super Bowl without a lot of drama -- really, the biggest story was who was going to be in a team photo or some lineman's ankle? -- Keisel's beard really carried the load.

In fact, this much attention has not been given to a beard since Nicole Kidman left Tom Cruise.

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette is reporting that Keisel will shave his beard for charity.

Before that beard is shaved however, a word of advice to Keisel. Are you crazy man? Shaving that beard is going to be box office death. The beard is your moneymaker. Did BJ (Greg Evigan) ever work after he ditched the Bear? Did David Hasselhoff thrive when he ditched the sand and silicon in Santa Monica? The Hoff didn’t make headlines again until he started eating cheeseburgers off a tile floor. And if the references to 80s TV shows doesn’t get to you, how about the narrative of Samson?

Do you really want any of that, Brett?

But you can’t blame Keisel for wanting to raise money for UPMC’s Children’s Hospital of Pittsburgh. Not only is this a worthy cause, Keisel can finally use the Christmas present his wife gave him — a new razor.

So what says you, who in the NFL had the best beard of all-time?

Besides Jeff Garcia.

The real answer is not Merlin Olsen or even Dan Fouts. But does anybody remember that kid who used to participate in those Punt, Pass and Kick competitions back in the early 1990s? Dude looked like Franco Harris. That 12-year-old had the best beard going.

Anybody remember that?

THE LAKERS losing to the Cavs once again reminds me why I spend absolutely no time watching regular-season NBA basketball. The NFL is telling everybody that the fans want an 18-game season.

Well, the fans don't.

The only sport that should be considering an 18-game season is the NBA.

And for the record, I was once in the camp of the 18-game NFL season, but now I have no only reversed my field like Marcus Allen in the Super Bowl, how about a 14-game season again?

Eliminate the Pro Bowl, and maybe add an extra round to the playoffs. Move the season ending to early January. And to make up for the extra money, just charge the networks even more money. Trust me, since I got a DVR, the only TV worth watching live is sporting events.

And even that is almost not true anymore.

THE KINGS make me want to watch regular-season hockey, however. I still cannot commit to watching every game, but it's become appointment viewing on the weekend. Although, I did watch the Kings vs. Rangers on Thursday, highlighted by a 3-on-3 situation in overtime. Man, it was wild.

Hockey gets it. Too bad more people don't.

AND FINALLY ...

The biggest story in sports this week has been the return of The Rock to the WWF (sic -- sorry, hippies, it will always be that to me). The news sent waves around the world. Not only was The Rock trending on Twitter, but so was his alter-ego, Dwayne Johnson. That, my friends, takes star power.

And it got me thinking: Is there anybody in the NFL who possesses The Rock’s charisma? I mean, he's a megastar, like the Hugh Jackman of wrestling.

Some might say Chad Ochocinco, but that doesn’t really work, mainly because The Rock was once a champion. Sorry to Terrell Owens and Steve Smith South, because they, too, are out in that case.

A case could be made for Hines Ward. He’s a two-time champion, blurs the line between heel and fan-favorite, plus he has been known to lay down the smack on opposing defensive players. A strong candidate.

Then there is Clay Matthews who, much like The Rock, is a third-generation superstar in his sport. And like The Rock, Matthews does have that Hall of Fame bloodline.

Still, that seems kind of off. You might have to go back to Warren Sapp -- who was a college teammate of The Rock at the University of Miami -- to find a person who fits.

But what about the rest? Here are the top six current NFL player to WWE superstar comparisons going. (And before you start, yes, this is the kind of mindless fun we will be enjoying until football kicks off again.)

6. Ochocinco/The Miz
The Miz goes by a goofy nickname and spends most of his time telling people how awesome he is instead of actually proving it. Yeah, I would say that fits. And really, can't you see 85 wearing this shirt? Though by always taking a backseat to T.O., he might be more Alex Riley.

5. Ray Lewis/Triple H
Triple H is known as "The Game." He is the king of kings, and he calls all of the shots. And while Lewis might not be married to the boss’s daughter, he certainly carries that kind of respect with every NFL player.

4. Aaron Rodgers/Edge
At first it seemed like Philip Rivers might be a good match with Edge. But Rivers prides himself on never working blue when he talks trash to opponents. Not quite a "Rated R Superstar" at all. So give Rodgers the nod here, because not only do he and Edge wear the same belt, Matthews helped deliver the title for both.

3. Drew Brees/Daniel Bryan
Both Brees and Bryan were once derided as being far too small to make it with the big boys. Both were able to overcome the odds to be champions of their profession. Who has the last laugh now?

2. Peyton Manning/John Cena
Manning and Cena are middle America’s dream -- clean-cut, bad hairdos, but they make good commercials (although it seems that only children can take their sugary goodness). And both are the face of their respective industries right now, even though most discerning adults root against them.

1. Brett Favre/Ric Flair
Hall of Famers for sure, but both should have hung it up a long, long time ago.

Also receiving votes: Rivers/CM Punk; Jay Cutler/Zack Ryder.

What do you have?

The Post Mortem: I don't want the ball

2011-02-14T06:32:00.000-08:00

Trying to get into the mind of LeBron James here and I am imaging that he is thinking, "They can't throw me the ball if I have my hands on my hips."

That has to be it, right? Because I have never seen a superstar -- or at least one who staged his own television show to take his talents to Miami -- try to get rid of the ball as quickly as he does in crunch time.

Well, maybe Gomer. But in fairness to LeBron, he at least gave the ball to a member of his own team instead of throwing the game-crippling interception.

So he's got that.

But somehow, I don't believe that this dream-team was going to rely on Mike Miller for its potential game-saving shots. I mean, I would rather take my chances with Miller instead of LeBron, but it seems strange for LeBron to not even want to take the shot. A guy with confidence would have at least tried to force the shot.

And this is what is really making the NBA entertaining these days. I can take or leave a regular-season Lakers game. In fact, I was busy watching the Kings shutout the Flyers on Sunday to bother with the Lakers game. But watching the Heat meltdown is kind of funny. Especially when you consider that the worse choke jobs are yet to come.

Is there a chance that the Heat could lose in the first round? Man, the NBA really messed up by going five games in the first round. That's just terrible.

MY MAN, the Reverend made a good point this weekend when he pointed out that the Pro Bowl used to be a good letdown from the NFL season. The NFL version of methadone if you will. But going from Super Bowl to nothing just seems a bit strange. Yet, there was so much burnout from football, maybe going cold turkey is the way to go.

YOU HAVE to admire Rex Ryan, though, for keeping his team in the news by announcing that the Jets are going to win the Super Bowl next year. Though, you cannot really believe him until that sentence is also followed with the news that Mark Sanchez has been released.

Sanchez has to really love playing football in New Jersey where the age of consent is only 16. But come on, the Jets have gone from Broadway Joe to Bieber Fever Sanchez.

Too soon?

Too young?

AND FINALLY ...

Vikings DE Ray Edwards has announced that he will turn to boxing in the event of a lockout. And the good news here is that he just has to last, say, 40 seconds in the ring to be more of a success than Johnnie Morton. So go get 'em!

Enjoy the day.

The Weak Ender: Where has she been?

2011-02-10T17:49:00.001-08:00

What a bummer week for those who were looking forward to the Pro Bowl. Sorry folks, it has already been played. What a bummer.

But since we are here, where have they been hiding Sarah Shahi? A former Dallas Cowboys cheerleader that has floated around nearly anonymously -- at least to me -- until she popped up on one of those USA shows.

Wow.

I don't know what this show will be about, but I will never miss an episode.

TURNS OUT A-Rod was upset that the cameras caught him being feed popcorn by Cameron Diaz and the Yankees slugger is kind of pissed about it. And you can certainly see his point. I wouldn't want anybody to know that I was sleeping with Cameron Diaz, either.

I don't mean to say that A-Rod could pull a Sarah Shahi because, well, she seems to have a brain in her bleeping head. But surely there has to be some bubbleheaded Hollywood bimbo who would be willing to fill that role.

Is Eliza Dusku still dating Rick Fox?

Really, there was no celebrity couple that was better than A-Rod and Yoko Hudson. I am still rooting for those kids to get back together. Because there was not a more contemptible duo since Melissa Rivers started tagging along with her mother on the red carpet.

Oh, and I guess it turns out that A-Rod had reportedly told FOX producers to stop putting him on TV. Well, Alex. There certainly is a way that could have kept you off the radar. You could have just stayed home.

But wait, how could put your mug on that big screen? And pitty for those in Dallas who had to see that stuff on Jerry Jones' giant TV screen. Those folks are the ones who deserve the refunds.

HAVE NOT had the chance to talk about the Pro Football Hall of Fame, yet.

The announcement for the Pro Football Hall of Fame’s new class is kind of tricky because as we celebrate the current class, we have to talk about those who did not make it.

And you end up feeling like Adam Baldwin’s character in Independence Day who is cheering after they finally defeated the aliens but runs into Russell Case’s kid, and has to console him before then finding a young lady to make out with during your celebration.

So congratulations to the Pro Football Hall of Fame Class of 2011. I don't really have some glarring problems. I am happy that Ed Sabol got in. Those ingrate players should realize just how important the Sabols were to the development of the NFL.

But here are some guys who deserve to be enshrined next year –- and with a shallow class of first-time eligible players and coaches next year (Bill Parcells maybe?) many of the guys who just-missed this year could be in line next year.

So here are six guys I would put in the Class of 2012:

6. Sterling Sharpe
Hall of Fame WR James Lofton said that Sharpe was one of the most dominant players at his position and would have challenged Jerry Rice’s numbers had he stayed healthy. And there is some truth there. I would put him in much the same vein as Gale Sayers, who was voted in. And I consider him way more worthy than Cris Carter and Tim Brown -- dependable but not great receivers.

5. Andre Reed
Reed would be in the Hall of Fame if not for Scott Norwood’s miss. But the Bills were dominant and with Jim Kelly and Thurman Thomas already in, having Reed makes a lot of sense.

4. Terrell Davis
Somehow, Davis has fallen through the cracks because of the length of his career. To me, a Hall of Famer should have dominated at his position, even if it was just for a short time. Too many times, writers get enthralled with guys who hung around for a long time and only put up good numbers, not great numbers. Right, Tim Brown?

3. Willie Roaf
It is always hard for the layperson to really judge offensive linemen and what they meant to the game. But when you talk to former players and coaches, they all seem to be very high on Roaf. In fact, Dick Vermeil cried while talking about him recently. Well, I guess he cries for everybody.

2. Charles Haley
Nobody has more rings than Haley, yet he continues to be on the outside looking in. Haley was a major contributor on two dynasties, and not surprisingly, both dynasties declined once he left. What is the deal here?

1. Jim Plunkett
After Plunkett, name one other two-time Super Bowl-winning quarterbacks who is not in the Hall of Fame. Oh wait, you can’t. There aren’t any. I smell a Facebook page coming.

And finally ...

The Lakers won the title! The Lakers won the title!

Alright, no Lakers fan truly feels that way. But my friend Danny sent that text over last night have America defeated the Celtics, saying that he wanted to feel like a bitter Chowd.

Only one thing to say about that ... America!

Alright, I do have something to say

2011-02-08T23:07:00.000-08:00

I am not sure if I was more disappointed in the Black Eyed Peas halftime performance or with the way Fergie looks in person. Exotic is one way to describe it. Not attractive would be another way.

CM Punk said it best when he noted that it was good to see Axl Rose and Slash put away their differences and come together in the Super Bowl halftime show.

Speaking of bad face lifts, Jerry Jones has to be pissed about the way the Cowboys Super Bowl came off. Not only did his Cowboys flame out this season, this Super Bowl was an unmitigated disaster. No other way to explain it.

Actually, Nick Bakay really nailed him here.

The practice facility collapsed and ruined lives. Now huge chunks of ice slide off the new crib's roof and people are hospitalized. Then the fire marshal ruins the day for paying customers who flew a long way to get there … time for Jerry Jones to stop shopping for free agents and hire some new engineers.

And thanks again to Jake Ryan for filling in with the post below. Please enjoy that.

The Dead Zone is coming

2011-02-08T08:08:00.000-08:00

Now that Aaron Rodgers has won the World Heavyweight Championship, what are any of us going to do between now and 2014, when the next NFL season begins

Typically, I am not one to plan ahead, but here is what should be on all of our "to do" lists in the coming weeks/months:

1. Check out Jimmer Fredette. The 43 he planted on the Aztecs not only cemented him as the next "great white hope," but gave the Mountain West (near and dear to this website's heart) some national pub. It also gave us the potential of a March Madness explosion the likes of which we haven't seen since Wally Szcerbiak dropped 43 on Washington in 1999.

2. Be excited that pitchers and catchers report. Whether the world likes it or not, this is the last week of no baseball until November.

3. Netflix something. Yes, I used Netflix as a verb. Take the time to watch The Wire if you missed it the first time around. I swear you will want to name your next child Stringer Bell. Also, find a way to watch Arrested Development if you haven't yet. It actually makes Archer even funnier.

4. Watch TNT... they know drama. Between Southland and the chance that Tracy Morgan might talk about having "me time" thinking about political figures, you may see or hear something you never have before.

5. Believe that at some point, the NBA will get interesting again, right? I'm about as disinterested in the NBA as the entire Laker team is, but with the trading deadling coming and Carmelo Anthony sure to be moving, someone is going to get better really quick. Will the Knicks improve themselves to make a run at Melo to make it a big 5 in the east? Will the Lakers inject some life into their team and finally give up on Andrew Bynum's knees? It all should result in a Lakers/Spurs Western Conference Final and a shootout in the East.

6. Watch Parks and Recreation. I know it was terrible last year. I know that Amy Poehler spent 22 episodes doing a Steve Carell impression. But Adam Scott (tremendously underrated) and Rob Lowe are terrific and the character of Ron Swanson has developed into one of the funniest on TV.

7. Pray a little. I'm not really religious, but aren't we all willing to go to any length to make sure there isn't a lockout?

8. Get outside for God's sake. You have a little less than 3 months until the draft, so spend that time doing something productive. Take a walk, ride the swings at the park, get to know your neighbors. You've been cooped up inside for 6 months watching every football game on TV and you haven't seen the sun since Labor Day. The least you can do is take those Christmas lights down.

Enjoy your offseason.

Jake Ryan

Super Bowl Pick

2011-02-05T16:04:00.001-08:00

Sorry for being a little busy this week, but this woman has been keeping me busy.

Pick: Steelers 23, Packers 19

The Weak Ender: Who is watching Archer?

2011-01-27T22:39:00.000-08:00

If you are not watching Archer on FX, you don't know what you are missing. But for those of you who do like the show, Warming Glow, has a really nice piece on the ten most obscure references on the show.

The premiere of the second season certainly didn't disappoint.

STEELERS FANS love the Terrible Towel. In fact, there hasn't been an inexplicable love for an inanimate object this big since Germans started flocking to David Hasselhoff concerts. But there hasn't been any empirical data to back that up, until now.

One of the biggest retail giants in the world, Amazon.com, gives you up-to-the-minute details of the best-selling object at any given moment. And the best-selling item in bedding and bath? None other than the Terrible Towel, which not only ranked first, but also sixth (at the time of this writing).

Yep, the famed invention of Myron Cope is selling better than scales, shower curtains and a Luna premium hypoallergenic waterproof mattress protector. Obviously a proud day for Steelers fans.

But with success comes imitation. And now the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel is reporting that McArthur Towel & Sports, makers of the Terrible Towel (a Wisconsin company -- how scandalous) will be producing a Titletown Towel.

Wait, what?

Bad form, McArthur Towel & Sports. This cannot end well.

Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery in the towel business. A fake towel imitation seems like a good idea, much in the same vein that replacing Rob Halford in Judas Priest with a guy from a tribute band is a good idea. But with worse consequences and a non-Mark Wahlberg movie adaptation. Don't believe me?

One industrious Los Angeles Rams fan thought it would be a good idea to produce the "Rammy Whammy" in 1979, in anticipation of the Rams and Steelers meeting in Super Bowl XIV. Michael Rivard, the towel-stealing version of Seth McFarlane, thought he was just going to make a buck, but instead he doomed the franchise. Because here is what happened next (though it does seem to be kind of a blur at this point).

The Rams blew a 19-17 fourth-quarter lead to the Steelers in the Super Bowl, traded away Eric Dickerson on Halloween day in 1987, and folded the Los Angeles chapter of the franchise in 1994. Was it because of the Rammy Whammy?

Well it certainly could not have helped.

And then there is the ultimate insult. Again, the Terrible Towel is still a top-selling item on Amazon.com, while an original Rammy Whammy could not even fetch a $7 bid on eBay.

Oh well, at least the Thunderstix became popular in Anaheim. Oh, right ...

IMAGINE YOU are Packers guard Marshall Newhouse (or any anonymous, single Packers player on injured reserve) and you are chatting up ~~some whore~~ a young lady, regaling her with tales about your super season in Green Bay.

Now, ponder what would happen if that young lady saw a photo of the Super Bowl XLV Packers and you are not in it. Next thing you know, you have a drink thrown in your face, she rips you in a Facebook status update and you have to spend the rest of the night convincing her that your Super Bowl ring is indeed real and not purchased from eBay.

Sounds far-fetched? Does it?

That could certainly happen, as word has come out that none of the Packers players on injured reserve are going to be included in the team's official Super Bowl photo. Injured Packers stars Nick Barnett and Jermichael Finley have been bellyaching about this on Twitter. But what do they have to complain about? People have heard of those guys.

It is the other 14 guys (according to the Associate Press's count) who end up being viewed like Grandpa Simpson and his story of the Flying Hellfish. Those are the guys who we should be concerned about. How could the Packers be so heartless?

The Packers, for their part, have said that they do not want to disrespect the players on injured reserved. There are just too many of them. The injured reserve players do not arrive until Thursday when the photo is taking on Media Day on Tuesday. Oh, and there is a game to be won, too. Apparently the Packers are more concerned with that (via the Green Bay Press-Gazette) than who is in the team photo.

A Packers spokesman said: “It was a team decision driven by the sheer number of players on IR. Our primary focus is to get the team ready to beat the Pittsburgh Steelers. Every decision we make is about trying to win a world championship.”

And even then, when faced with the reality of winning the Super Bowl, Barnett did change his tune (via Twitter).

“I was not trying to be a distraction nor was I downing the organization they have done so much for me over last 8 years.. Just saying I was … Just saying I am sad that it worked out the way it did.. This game is bigger then my feelings and my body of work.. It’s about “One Goal”!

Of course, the PR smear job was enough for the Packers to change their tune and move the picture deal until Friday. So all of the whiners will have their way.

Of course, if the players are still upset, they could just learn to use Photoshop. That is what the rest of us guys who pretend to have been former football players do.

And again, much respect to that unwitting Vegas traveler years ago who probably thinks that she really did sleep with Adam Vinatieri.

AND FINALLY ...

I hate Jimmer Fredette because the only thing worse than a poor-loser Mormons are the poor-winner Mormons. Seriously, why are Mormons so arrogant? Have you ever met a practicing Mormon who wasn't a smug a-hole?

Maybe Steve Young's wife, who fought against Prop. 8.

You know, the proposition funded by the Mormons. I guess they wanted to keep the sanctity of marriage. Or at least multiple ones.

Please, don't celebrate Fredette.

And if you are a practicing Mormon who reads and enjoys this space, I am legitimately blown away.

The Post Mortem: Cutler's biggest fan

2011-01-24T21:28:00.000-08:00

Players are coming out of the woodwork to support Jay Cutler. Saying that they can understand where Cutler was coming from, empathizing with him, because they know what it is like to be injured.

But do you know who Cutler's biggest fan is today?

Jets RB LaDainian Tomlinson.

Because why players and fans continue to talk about Cutler, nobody is pointing a finger at Tomlinson for again no-showing in the biggest game of his career. I am not familiar with gambling, but if there was a prop bet in Las Vegas that said, "LT will not score a touchdown," you certainly would have been a fool to pass on such a proposition.

And again, if you could bet on things like, "Tomlinson will get stuffed at the 1-yard line because he just is not that good at football," again, that is another wager you should have made.

But when you come down to the Super Bowl matchup, I really have to say that I am excited about it. Really, the two best teams are playing. And while I liked both of the underdogs this week, I was really glad to be wrong.

And this shows you once again what the most important thing in football is -- the quarterback. Forget the home-field advantage, defense and swagger. The most important thing is the quarterback. Because the two teams with the two best quarterbacks won on Sunday.

Though, you could say that Sanchez's receivers simply cannot catch. But it was the quarterback.

I got too caught up in other factors and tried to research things based on logic. I missed the most obvious piece, and that was trying to get too smart and overlooking the obvious and picking the teams with the best quarterbacks.

This Super Bowl should be a lot like the Cardinals vs. Steelers two years ago, and less like the Saints blowout of the Colts last year. Because this will be the first time in two years that we have two elite quarterbacks going at it. This time Aaron Rodgers filling in for Kurt Warner.

This game will be exciting and I was glad that I was wrong.

The Weak Ender: Bears and Packers not forgotten here

2011-01-21T01:38:00.000-08:00

How is Jessica Biel being a Packers fan not bigger news? Anybody? Oh well. I will say that I am tired of the Steelers vs. Jets getting all of the love this week. So you know what. I am just going to skip that game and give you a scientific breakdown of the Packers vs. Bears.

And know my readers, this is the game they care about the most.

The Bears and Packers have the most longest, and perhaps the most storied rivalry in the NFL. The two teams have played 181 times in the past, and will be fighting it out for a chance to play for the NFL's ultimate honor for the first time since 1941.

The teams not only shared a long lineage together, they both also won Super Bowls with Jim McMahon. (Though the Punky QB was merely a backup for Brett Favre in Super Bowl XXXI.)

With all do respect to the Steelers and Jets, you have to believe that this is the game that America is looking forward to on Sunday. Which begs the question -- who do you got?

Let's break this down -- as previously stated -- scientifically.

Tough guy linebacker

The Bears' Dick Butkus and Packers' Ray Nitschke personified the word linebacker. Butkus had eight Pro Bowl appearances, Ntschke was a member of those famed Packers teams that won five NFL titles and the first two Super Bowls. This one is too close to call, so we will settle this by acting career. Butkus play a strict yet fair principal Hang Time, but Nitschke was in the original The Longest Yard.
Advantage: Nitschke because I think he broke his (expletive) neck. (Packers 1-0)

Famous adaptations

Any man over the age of 40 fondly recalls James Caan's performance as terminally-ill Bears RB Brian Piccolo in Brian's Song. Not to mention, a young future Lando Calrissian (Billy Dee Williams) as Gale Sayers. And while I am sure that Tom Brady loved the performance of Lombardi on Broadway, I'm sure he didn't cry at the end.
Advantage: Brian’s Song (Tied 1-1)

Stadium

The Packers have the famed frozen Tundra of Lambeau Field. The stadium could be considered football Mecca, and is likely on many football "bucket lists." The Bears have a dirt field painted green, and any charm of the original Soldier Field as been stripped because of the renovation. In fact, it looks like one of those alien space ships from Independence Day landed on the old Soldier Field. Poor show, Bears.
Advantage: Lambeau Field (Packers 2-1)

Nickname

The Steelers have won the most Super Bowl titles, but did you know the Packers have more NFL championships? Yes, much to Dave Dameshek's chagrin, the NFL did exist prior to the Super Bowl era. So it's fitting that Green Bay is known as Title Town. The Bears are known as the Monsters of the Midway. A nicknamed lifted from the University of Chicago, the same way Vanilla Ice lifted the beat of Queen's Under Pressure for Ice, Ice Baby. Poor form, Bears.
Advantage: Title Town (Packers 3-1)

Coaching

The Packers have had Curly Lambeau and Vince Lombardi. The Bears had Papa Bear George Halas and Iron Mike Ditka. Tough call, but while both teams are playing for the Halas Trophy on Sunday, the Lombardi Trophy is the ultimate goal.
Advantage: Packers (Packers 4-1)

Greatest player

Bears RB Walter Payton retired with the NFL rushing record. Packers WR Don Hutson retired with every conceivable receiving record. Payton, though, is still in the conversation for the greatest running back ever. Most people have seemingly have forgotten that Hutson even played and ignorantly proclaim Jerry Rice as the greatest receiver of all-time. Still, it is hard to go against Sweetness here.
Advantage: Bears (Packers 4-2)

Beer

Miller vs. Old Style. Miller trots out different styles of its product (MGD, Miller High Life, Crystal Miller Lite) like the University of Oregon does uniforms. Meanwhile, Old Style just continues to stick with the original.You have to respect that.
Advantage: Bears (Packers 4-3)

Embarrassing celebrity fan

Which career of a second fiddle inexplicably lasted the longest – former Bears backup QB Vince Evans (who might still be playing) or Jim Belushi? That’s a tough one. But how did Larry the Cable guy become known as a rabid Packers fan? Is that enough to git-r-done? Nah.
Advantage: Bears because Vince Vaughn just won’t seem to go away, either. (Tied, 4-4)

What’s in the bun?

Bratwurst or a Polish sausage? As a fat man, that is akin to choosing between your two children, though both are known to give heart attacks. There is really nothing to distinguish the two, so this one will again be settled by Hollywood. And Abe Froman, the sausage King of Chicago might be one of the greatest alias of all time.
Advantage: Bears (Bears 5-4)

Uniforms

Two classic styles here. The Packers, quite simply, have a top three uniform in the NFL. The Bears would be there if they wore their throwbacks from earlier this season.
Advantage: Packers (tied 5-5)

Hmm, well that got us nowhere. Alright, enough with this, here is my Super Bowl pick:

The Bears vs. Jets.

WANT TO see more of Ricky Gervais? Well, you are in luck. You can check out all of his Golden Globes jokes right here.

AND FINALLY ...

Al Davis was reportedly upset that former coach Tom Cable used to bring girls with him on the road. The Raiders managing general partner said that it was unbecoming of a Raiders coach to carouse, saying that wasn't the Raiders way.

I sure hope he never read Ken Stabler's autobiography, if that is the case.

Untreated syphilis confirmed for Al Davis

2011-01-19T11:52:00.000-08:00

Under any other circumstance, his fingers would appear creepy, but compared to his face, those digits are a delight.

Here is the question, would you rather eat peanut butter off his fingers or drop his Band-Aid into your coffee?

The Post Mortem: I am sorry

2011-01-17T16:47:00.001-08:00

The Hater Nation has always endorsed the Patriots and Patron Saint Tom Brady. So there is a bit of sadness to see the Patriots fall in the AFC divisional playoffs.

But when Boston loses, America wins. So hurray!

USA! USA! USA! America!

But there are a few apologies that I need to get out of the way before we move on.

To Dr. Doug and his brother Mark: I am sorry for picking the Seahawks to win. The Bears seem rather shaky as any team with QB Jay Cutler and offensive coordinator Mike Martz can be. Yet, this team continues to win at every turn. Even this week, the football world will be celebrating the Packers, even picking Green Bay to take the NFC title.

To the Jets: Nobody thought you guys could back up the talk. Especially after the football world watch the Patriots wax the Jets in the most recent matchup. But for the second consecutive season, you have advanced to the AFC Championship Game with one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL. You are an inspiration to crappy quarterbacks with awesome hair. No wonder Matt Leinart still thinks he can still win in this league.

To Gomer: For years, I have said that you were not in Brady’s class. Turns out, that Brady is quickly joining your class for regular-season excellence followed by playoff futility. And seriously Tom, why were you covering up your hair? You have to let those locks go, my friend.

To Rex Ryan: You keep winning, Rex, and the football world will be kissing your feet.

The AP basketball pollsters: For I gave you way too much credit thinking that you would put undefeated San Diego State ahead of Duke. No such luck. You guys are complete (expletive) morons.

The Bears and Packers: Most people are talking about the Steelers being close to winning a record seventh Super Bowl, while most people ignore the fact that the Packers (12) and Bears (9) have won the most NFL titles. IF only I was in a position to make this known.

Matt Flacco and Joe Ryan: Or is it Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco? Sorry guys, we have expected too much out of you because of the success of Ben Roethlisberger and Mark Sanchez. But your defenses are not good enough to carry you guys, and there comes a time when you have to win a game. You just are not there yet. There may come a time. Soon. But you are not ready right now.

AND FINALLY …

If the Jets are eliminated, I am cool with any of these three other teams winning the Super Bowl.

The Weak Ender: Karma Kills

2011-01-13T21:50:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Florida State. Not only does the Seminoles upset of Duke mean that these ladies were making some fellas very happy behind the dumpsters at the local Piggly Wiggly in Tallahassee, but San Diego State is inching closer to being the No. 1 team in college basketball.

Hopefully the Aztecs can knock off the BYU Cougars and then it becomes a waiting game.

Heady times. Too bad State's football coach did not want to stick around. Not that you can blame Brady Hoke for bolting to Michigan. Hoke was one of the few coaches around who was very honest and upfront about wanting to take his dream job in Ann Arbor. Good for him.

Yet, you cannot help but wish for him to at least given the Aztecs more than two seasons. Take it from a person who plays a lot of EA NCAA College Football, sometimes you want to stay at a place where you have proven that you can win, instead of taking a job that just ruined the reputation of a pretty good football coach.

If you want to bolt from SDSU to the pros as part of the Yasmine Bleeth principal, that makes sense. But why leave the Mountain West for a lesser conference?

Good luck to Hoke, though. He put the Aztecs on the right track. Hopefully Rocky Long can keep the car moving forward.

But enough with college football, except for one quick point. The SEC's run of five BCS titles does not really impress me, considering the teams that its members were playing. The win over Oregon impresses me, however. Congratulations SEC.

However, seeing that this was the first time I have watched Cam Newton play, I am not sure he was the best player in college football. He certainly was not better than Vince Young was as a college player. Seems to me, this was a guy who took advantage of a pretty easy non-conference schedule, an easy SEC schedule, but looked rather ordinary playing against a Pac-10 team.

Admittingly, I have seen Stanford's Andrew Luck play about 20 times, and Newton play once, but Luck is a much better quarterback at this time, and is likely going to be a better pro.

And what's with Auburn's receivers? How come none of them could catch? Oregon's receivers made big plays all over the place, yet the Auburn guys looked pretty average. In fact, I don't know why Auburn even threw that ball. That running back was far more impressive than Newton.

Again, I say this only seeing Newton play one time.

Alright, are we ready for some NFL games? I was a blistering 3-1 last week.

Yeah, I missed three games. Yikes. That won't happen again.

RAVEN at STEELERS: Saw a movie called the Mysteries of Pittsburgh recently. And just like your average Raven vs. Steelers tilt, this movie was plodding, predictable and a bit boring.

And yes, a little bit gay.

Everybody claims that they are clamoring for this matchup, but why? Haven't we seen this a number of times? We are getting close to this turning into the Red Sox vs. the Yankees of the NFL.

At least players on both teams are trying to kill each other, which is nice. And then there was this shirt (via Shutdown Corner):

Well, if you are going to bore us again, at least make it interesting. Pick: Steelers.

PACKERS AT FALCONS: This is the argument for reseeding. The Falcons have to face the hottest team in the NFC right now, instead of the Seahawks who just barely snuck into the playoffs.

That seems about right.

Everybody made sure to point out that Packers QB Aaron Rodgers had something to prove last week, needing to win a playoff game (including me). But Falcons QB Matt Ryan needs to do the same thing. It's not like the Falcons have a long resume of winning, and this team needs to do something.

To be honest, this seems like the NFC Championship Game to me. And the Packers just became a lot more dangerous because of the emergence of RB James Starks who was huge. Pick: Packers.

SEAHAWKS AT BEARS: The masses are starting to reason that the Seahawks are very similar to the Cardinals from two years ago, getting hot at the right time. But Matt Hasselbeck is not Kurt Warner.

Still, there is something about the Bears that concerns me. QB Jay Cutler likes to take a lot of risks when he is at home. Look at the numbers, Cutler throws more interceptions at home than he does on the road (11 to 5) and his passer rating is lower.

Pick: Seahawks (which means they host the NFC Championship Game).

JETS AT PATRIOTS: This is the game that everybody wants to see. Mainly because anytime Boston goes against New York, you come out ahead no matter what.

Here is the thing with the Jets. Thank you for knocking off Gomer and the Colts. America owes you a tremendous thanks. But all of that bluster. Reminds me of when Buddy Ryan took over the Arizona Cardinals back in 1994. He talked about there being a new sheriff in town and blah, blah, blah.

The Cardinals opened the season at Anaheim and the Rams beat them. What a great day that was.

Not sure if Buddy ever made foot fetish videos.

But that notwithstanding, this is a pretty tough game to call. On one hand, you want to pull for the Jets. They remind me of the poor Los Angeles Rams and our plight of being the second fiddle in a major media market watching big brother win a Super Bowl. It sucks.

And Jets fans love to drink.

But the Patriots have one of the original Patron Saints of The Hater Nation, Tom Brady. The team that beat both the Raiders and St. Louis FC in one playoff run. The closest Rams fans will ever come to a Super Bowl until AEG moves them back in 2015. (And if you think they are building a downtown stadium for the Vikings, Raiders or Jaguars, guess again.)

Tough call here, but the pick is: Patriots.

OF COURSE, I will leave all of the Brett Favre's sister is doing meth jokes to the Hatriot and the Bain in the comments, because they will crush it much harder than me.

AND FINALLY ...

I don't believe in karma, but Lebron James losing to the Clippers after calling out Cleveland for having bad karma in losing to the Lakers might make me a believer.

How can James even think that Cleveland should have bad karma. The fact that nobody in Cleveland has put a knife in LeBron's house or burned down his Akron house shows that Cleveland has nothing but good karma.

Karma kills, eh Lebron?

Auburn: Worth Every Penny

2011-01-11T14:34:00.001-08:00

That investment certainly paid off.

The Post Mortem: Harbaugh made the right move

2011-01-09T22:06:00.001-08:00

The 49ers got their man, Jim Harbaugh, though history has not been good to college coaches making the leap to the pros. Butch Davis, Nick Saban, Lou Holtz, Mike Riley and Steve Spurrier are just a few of the names that we unable to make the transition to the NFL.

Lane Kiffin might make the list, too, but he doesn't even qualify as a college coach either.

So did Harbaugh make the right move?

He did.

For starters, long-time readers of this space know that I like to invoke the Yasmine Bleeth Rule. In other words, strike while the iron is hot. If Playboy offers you millions to pose, take it. Otherwise, your most famous photo will end up being a mug shot.

And you don't want that.

But maybe more importantly, we get the Harbaugh and Pete Carroll rivalry on the big stage. (Though the NFC West might be a step down from the Pac-10).

We can all agree, however, that this rivalry is just what the NFC West needs. The NFC West has become a punchline and can use a little bit of panache. The NFC West needs more coaches going for the throat in blowout wins, and less sub-.500 division winners, football in domes and John Skelton.

The NFC West needs an attitude era, with a Harbaugh vs. Carroll rivalry to match some of the best in sports — Raiders vs. Chiefs, Lakers vs. Celtics, the Rock vs. Stone Cold.

Unfortunately, Harbaugh was unwilling to bite during his first day on the job.

Harbaugh was asked about Carroll during his introductory press conference, and the new coach danced around the question like Terrell Owens shaking a pair of pom-poms. You know, the last time the 49ers mattered. Instead, Harbaugh just said that he was “excited about tonight.”

Wait, what?

Did he just quote the Black Eyed Peas?

Was this the same Harbaugh who went for a two-point conversion in an attempt to hang 50 points on USC late in a blowout win in 2009? The conversion was no good, but Stanford got another touchdown to beat the Trojans 55-21. Carroll was so beleaguered by the move, he asked Harbaugh “What’s the deal?” as the two shook hands at midfield according to Ray Ratto of the San Francisco Chronicle.

To which Harbaugh responded, “What’s your deal?”

Ooh, burn.

This move closed the door on the duo’s rivalry. At least on the college level. Harbaugh’s approach might not have hastened Carroll’s defection to the pros, but it left an indelable mark on Carroll’s college legacy. Carroll even said that he won’t forget the incident.

So we have to ask … Harbaugh, what’s your deal?

Where was that Harbaugh who wasted little time igniting Carroll when you first took the Stanford job in December 2006? The following spring, Harbaugh said that Carroll was only going to last one more season at USC (well, he was close) and then knocked the No. 2 Trojans out of the BCS title race with one of the biggest upsets in college football history in October.

Where was that guy, Harbaugh? Instead, all we got as that you were excited tonight, and you will get to work on beating the NFC West tomorrow. Tomorrow? This is the internet age, we want action now. We want predictions of hanging 50 points on the Seahawks in September.

But that’s o.k. Like they say in football, you don’t want to show all of your plays during the first drive of the game. Hopefully this rivalry will be given some time to grow.

Let it be known, however, there are some high expectations for this.

Just so you know the deal.

SPEAKING OF the Seahawks, look like all of that talk about the reseeding is no longer necessary. The NFL playoffs are fine, people. No need to make any drastic changes. And really, with NFL teams being so close, parity wise, why do we need to make any more changes.

No, we are good. Though, somebody might want to cheer up Falcons WR Roddy White.

The holidays have passed. And for most of us, that meant opening up a present from a distant relative and feigning a fake smile while pulling out a gaudy argyle sweater with matching socks to boot. And most of the time you get a little self-conscious because we don’t have the poker face of Phil Ivey, fearing that everybody can see right through the facade.

Well Falcons, you have been potentially handed a gift, and White, your fake smile is not fooling anybody.

Especially since you got exactly what you wished for.

Moments after the Seahawks’ shocking win, White took to Twitter to feign displeasure that the Falcons and Saints will not have a rubber match in 2010.

“I guess we don’t get to play the defending champs,” White wrote.

Wait, what?

You don’t get to play the defending champs? Weren’t you the same guy who came out yesterday and said that you wanted to play the Seahawks?

“You really don’t want to play a really consistent quarterback or anything like that,” White told reporters. “Does that answer your question?”

Well, White, after watching Seahawks QB Matt Hasselbeck torch the Saints for four touchdown, you might want to be careful about what you wish for.

THE RUN by Seahawks RB Marshawn Lynch which sealed the team's upset win was not the greatest run in playoff history. Please stop trying to say that it is. Nobody will remember that run after the Seahawks are smoked this week.

And for the record, the best run was Marcus Allen, followed by John Riggins. History people. Learn it.

ANYBODY ELSE tired of the Steelers vs. Ravens matchup? This would be much more compelling if these teams were entertaining at all.

But they are not.

AND FINALLY ...

Gomer once again failed in the playoffs. Think of this, Jets QB Mark Sanchez is 3-1 all time in playoff games. Gomer is 9-10. And while it would have been more fitting for Gomer to throw the game-crippling interception to end the Colts' season. But failing to pick up a first down, to keep the clock moving is close enough.

Adam Vinatieri nearly bailed out Gomer. But the clutchness is being sucked down into a vortex.

Have fun watching Tom Brady win a fourth Super Bowl, Gomer. That will never be you. Even Peter King thinks that the window is closing for Gomer.

When the NFL quarterback's biggest Titleist washer is questioning you, well, then maybe it's time to turn the page.

Gomer won't, though. He will take one more huge payday. And he will get insane money to be competitive every year. But this is your future, Colts fan. Though, you should know better than anybody else.

And one other thing. Why do announcers act like Gomer is the only player in the league prepared to play quarterback? Do the other guys not study? Because they act like Gomer is the only person who puts in the extra time.

If that's the case, kids, don't spend so much time studying. Unless you want to be earmarked for middle management.

The Weak Ender: Wild Card preview

2011-01-06T23:02:00.000-08:00

Hey dummy! What kind of world do we live in where Jaime Pressly cannot find a ride home after she's had a couple of belts?

I weep for America.

And I weep for America is the Eagles and Steelers make it to the Super Bowl. Not because it would not be an awesome game. But do we really want to give those on Mt. Pious the chance to picket the big game.

But what a glorious day it would be for people who make picket signs. Let’s look at this week’s matchups.

Saints at Seahawks: Nobody wants the Seahawks to be in the playoffs, so what better reason to root for Pete Carroll’s squad here? And what’s great, all of those experts who pan Pete’s tenure with the Patriots must now recognize that Carroll returned to the NFL and led his team a divisional crown and the playoffs in the first round.

And yeah, you can point out that the Seahawks were 7-9, and that they might have backed into the playoffs. But stuff happens. I mean, nobody brings up the fact that Gomer’s lone Super Bowl came against Rex Grossman. They just say Gomer, Super Bowl champion. So Pete, congratulations on winning the NFC West.

Even then, there is no way they win here. Pick: Saints

Jets at Colts: Funny, everybody wants to revamp the playoff format because the Seahawks are playing host to the Saints. Nobody cares that the Jets have to travel to Indianapolis despite having a better record than the Colts. Further, nobody cares that Eli Messiah is going to be the head referee today. Or at least he will be on camera enough to fulfill the NFL’s long-standing rule that America must be subjected to the Giants as much as possible.

Hey look, there’s Michael Strahan on a Subway commercial. And Dr. Pepper. And the Good Times Reunion Show.

Anyway, here is what to look for in this game.

Jets RB LaDainian Tomlinson riding an exercise bike. People on NFL.com voted Tomlinson as the running back to make the biggest difference this weekend. They know this is the playoffs right? Although, LT did a great job in helping the Jets win the playoffs last year.

Jets QB Mark Sanchez will make plays that will kill the Jets.

Gomer has his “all-good mode” game, meaning his lights up the Jets. Then we get a week of handies, hearing about how awesome Gomer is. How you can never bet against No. 18 in the playoffs. Blah, blah, blah. At least the team will have to go to Pittsburgh the following week, so we can just see how good he is.

So Gomer gets his one win, once again going over Rex Ryan. Pick: Colts

Ravens at Chiefs: Thankfully they buried this game in the bosom of the 10 a.m. slot for us viewers out here on the West Coast. We can go out, enjoy a nice breakfast and return in time to watch one of those horrible 13-10 games that is not even really that close.

The Chiefs mailed in their Week 17 game, and the impending departure of offensive coordinator Charlie Weis only adds to the drama. The Chiefs are destined to fail.

Or are they? This seems like one of those games where a team is completely written off and everybody is expecting the Ravens to give the Patriots at a good battle in the AFC Divisional Playoffs. But people seem to forget that the Ravens offense sucks.

Like really bad. Wasn’t this supposed to be the year that Joe Flacco finally put it all together? The team finally gave him a receiver to throw to, Anquan Boldin, and what happened? Flacco would make a fine U.S. Marshall because he’s done a great job of making Boldin invisible this season. Flacco has found a way to make him disappear in front of 70,000 spectators each week. This guy is a genius.

And seriously, shouldn't NFL quarterbacks be more handsome?

Call this nothing more than a hunch, but the Chiefs win.

Packers at Eagles: America’s most charming NFL franchise going against one of the most revered quarterbacks in the NFL. Although, when Tucker Carlson starts calling you out, you are on the road to recovery, Michael Vick.

And did you see that recent apology on FOX News? Sean Hannity seemed like the sane one as Tucker was babbling nonsense. What a blow to the people who are still up-in-arms over Vick. Carlson is not the guy they want in the foxhole with him.

But here is the thing about the Packers. This is a team that I liked to win it all. Until everybody decided that they liked them to win it all. Or at least win the NFC championship. When the whole world backs a play like the Packers, that sends out a red light.

The screaming red light that – for most of us – would have flashed when one of our childhood buddies suggested that we should not only stage dog fights, but we should fund other dog fights in other states. Unfortunately, not everybody has that filter.

Still, and I hate to do it, but it’s tough to go against the Packers here. There is a nagging feeling that I am going to be sitting there, on my 10th Harp’s Lager on Sunday night saying, “You see, I knew I should not have picked the Packers.”

But I just don’t like Andy Reid in the playoffs. Not that Mike McCarthy is good at game-management. But he’s Vince Lombardi compared to the baffling decisions that Reid makes.

Begrudgingly, the pick is the Packers. And I will say this. A win, and they are going to the Super Bowl. Aaron Rodgers needs to get over that hump, and once he does, he will be unstoppable. Because the Packers defense is really that good. And Kurt Warner proved two years ago that you don’t need to run to get to the Super Bowl.

And finally …

How soon do you believe it is going to be before TMZ releases tapes of Bengals WR Chad Ochocinco – fueled on Red Bull/cranberry – leaving a profanity-laced tirade on Marvin Lewis that would make Charlie Sheen, Alec Baldwin and Mel Gibson chagrined?

Ochocinco certainly can’t get over the fact that coach Lewis threw called him mopey and “threw him under the bus,” telling Sporting News Radio that he is not sure if he could play for Marvin Lewis and the Bengals next year (via Sports Radio Interviews).

“I have nothing to say about that. I’m not the owner of the team. My hands are out of that situation. The only thing I can remember, as of right now, about Coach Lewis, is Coach Lewis throwing me under the bus. When it was time to play the Chargers, knowing that I was hurt. That’s the only thing I can remember at this point.

“I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know. To say some of the things that have been said in the past, for some reason, when I was especially down. When you look for support, it’s always got to come from the one higher up. For the one higher up to say the things he said, it really hurt. I don’t see myself really feeling [that].”

Well, good news for you, Chad, nobody wants you back. Turns out those diva receivers aren’t exactly in high demand right now. The Bengals are doing well with Jordan Shipley and Jerome Simpson. I’m not sure if you saw that game you are referring to, but QB Carson Palmer had the game of his life and he looked much better than he had in years.

And what are you complaining about anyway? The Bengals have treated you right. Hopefully Ochocinco goes to the Colts next year, and Gomer can treat 85 the same way he treats WR Austin Collie.

Hall of Lame

2011-01-06T00:18:00.000-08:00

It’s difficult to be original in anything you write, analyze, or observe. I remember a time in my teens when Keith Olbermann and Craig Kilborn were my heroes the same as Magic or Gretzky. The reason KO and Kilby were great is that they were showmen just like the athletes and they were original. They made me want to watch and ultimately want be one of them. Unfortunately, they bred a generation of anchors who had more catchphrases than Randy “Macho Man” Savage, which made me change the channel for about ten years.

That brought to my attention a few thoughts that while unseasonal, are still true and help get through this baseball-less winter.

I just watched the 1960 World Series Game 7 that aired on MLB Network over the holidays. Having Mel Allen and Bob Prince on the call while they were the play by play men for the Yankees and Pirates, respectively, was tremendous. It gave it a different feel than someone having to look in a media guide during the World Series to figure out what the initials C.C. stand for.

Unfortunately, in 2011, the enthusiasm for all of these games has a consistently disingenuous tone to it. You have lead network play-by-play men for MLB (To quote the late, great Jim Healy, I’m not going to mention any names, but his initials are JB…. JB) admitting they aren’t interested in the game they are calling. What a joke.

For a change, why not be logical and do what they did in the 50’s and 60’s and have the two teams share the national radio and television broadcasting for the playoffs and World Series. That way, America gets to hear from broadcast teams who have a genuine interest in what is happening, knowledge of the teams playing and maybe, more than anything, give the public a variety that will add just a touch of that city and team to each broadcast. Wouldn’t that make the game more compelling for the viewer? Wouldn’t the drama of the game, as called by the home broadcaster give more depth to each big play? I know that one of the first things I listen for in highlights of special games is the radio or TV call of the home team. The only exception to this would be anything that makes us listed to John Sterling.

At the very least, give the viewer the option. If we can have five NASCAR pay per view channels that allow us to listen to Carl Edwards’ pit crew for 500 miles, can’t we have an alternate audio option for the freakin’ World Series.

Wednesday’s baseball hall of fame vote was about what everyone expected. Congrats to Bert Blyleven for being good enough to finally make the hall of fame. 287 wins means it takes you 14 tries to get in. The holier-than-thou BBWAA has played God for long enough. Ron Santo died before he could make it in the hall of fame because these writers can’t take the responsibility seriously at all. B.J. Surhoff got a vote with Don Mattingly and Tino Martinez on the same ballot. This same writer didn't vote for anyone else…. No Blyleven….no Alomar….no Mondesi. He must have a stack of those Surhoff 1987 Topps “Future Stars” cards.

I think the big debate that will satiate baseball geeks like me for the next twelve months will be whether Jack Morris and Barry Larkin will get in. I think you have the two best at their position (apologies to Ozzie Smith, but Larkin was a better hitter) in their era… should be a no brainer. I think the guy that people will start to rally around in the next few years will be Tim Raines. Without attacking the stats, Tim Raines has better stats than Lou Brock (higher OBP, more RBI, same runs, better SB success rate) with almost the same amount of plate appearances and probably would already be in if he didn’t play in the same era as Rickey Henderson. Plus he was nicknamed Rock before Dwayne Johnson…. That counts for something, right?

Right?

The Raiders Hate Winning

2011-01-05T11:32:00.000-08:00

The Raiders once lived by a motto that winning isn’t everything, it’s the only thing. But now I believe that Al Davis has become so accustomed to losing, that he actually fears winning. Do you supposed that Davis’ untreated syphilis has become so bad that winning scares him. Like an NFL version of Stockholm Syndrome.

Must be spending too much time with Bengals owner Mike Brown. Or Daniel Snyder. Or Jerry Jones.

This is the only possible explanation as to why the Raiders would fire coach Tom Cable.

The Raiders were not only competitive this season, they swept the AFC West, going 6-0 and were the main reason why the Chargers are not going to the playoffs this year. The Raiders finished 8-8, breaking a streak of seven seasons when the team lost at least 11 games.

Apparently that is a fire-able offense in Oakland these days.

And Cable was the perfect Raiders coach. He looked like the fans that tailgated in the parking lot. He punched assistant coaches. Everything about him exuded the Raiders.

Well, except for that winning part. That was too much for Davis to stomach.

The Raiders are expected to promote offensive coordinator Hue Jackson to head coach. Well, they had better hurry. Jackson is already interviewing with the 49ers today. And because of the Rooney Rule that requires teams to interview at least one minority candidate, Jackson could become a hot name in the coaching world.

That would really be the best possible scenario. The Raiders fire the coach who actually got them on the right track, and their hot-name coordinator crosses the bay to go to San Francisco.

In other words, enjoy Marc Trestman.

2011-01-04T08:24:00.000-08:00

Greetings from Shermer

THN would like to welcome our newest contributor. Like the namesake, he may be a onetime lightning strike and disappear into carpentry. But we, here at THN certainly hope not. Please make him feel at home by picking apart his every word and destroying his fragile ego. Ladies and gentlemen, Jake Ryan.

Thanks very much and it is a pleasure to be part of such a distinguished site that can, like so many other sites, serve as an outlet to the angry sports/pop culture fan. Getting started on one of these things is a bit difficult so I just thought about the things I will be following as we move into 2011.

Each night before I go to sleep, I pray to the baseball gods for the return to prominence of the Los Angeles Angels. I am going to focus on baseball a lot here, especially once we get to spring training, but as a lifelong Halo fan, I am not sure if I am more frustrated with the Angels for trying to be a big player in the free agent marked and not succeeding or the ridiculous fans who think magically they will be able to trade Brandon Wood and Reggie Willits for Justin Upton. These are people who didn’t live through Donnie Moore, Mo Vaughn falling in the dugout, Junior Noboa, periwinkle and let’s not even talk about 1995. Mike Scioscia will build the 2011 team with pitching and defense. Plus, there is no way that the team will hit as poorly with runners on as they did in 2010. Getting Wood and the 1st base revolving door out of the lineup will improve that immensely. I say 91 wins… hopefully good enough to win the West. Much more to talk about this franchise in the coming weeks and months.

I expect to witness the assault of Joel Meyers on live TV in the next 12 months. One of these nights, when the Lakers are playing one of their typical uninspired games on the road in February, Joel is going to say the wrong thing about Lamar Odom or Andrew Bynum and Stu Lantz is finally going to snap. I, for one, cannot wait. This all comes back to Joel calling Kobe the “greatest Laker of them all” to get himself some press. Mission accomplished. You are the Steve Physioc of the Lakers.

I really hope hockey getting back to its rightful place in the Southern California sports landscape. I am hoping that a deep playoff run by the Kings will give the most loyal fan base in SoCal the exposure it so richly deserves. Do yourself a favor, check that team out. For those of you not familiar with hockey, it’s played on skates, mostly indoors and…. Never mind.

This 18 game schedule for the NFL… hmmm. Steve DeBerg, Vinny Testaverde, Vince Evans… warm those arms up fellas, this will be an over 50 league by week 17. I for one would like to see the fantasy football chaos that will cause.

If anything bad happens to a New England sports athlete, I will consider it a successful year. Now that Bobby Jenks is a Red Sox, there is a much better chance of this happening. I wonder if it he can break any bar fight records in that town.

A couple of recommendations from a father of two who doesn’t get to the theatre, I finally got to see Inception and The Town over the holidays. Two pretty impressive movies. By now, I am able to watch movies that take place in Boston because I survived 90 minutes of Fever Pitch, plus, what red blooded American male doesn’t love Jon Hamm... I mean Blake Lively.

Inception was just terribly intriguing to me. That kid who was on Growing Pains was tremendous. Alan Thicke taught him everything he knows.

I hope that I will be accepted as part of the THN family. It is just as great now as it was before the internet when I got it each Monday in my mailbox back in the late 70s and I am honored to be part of it today.

Happy Birthday Samantha.

Hello McLean: Turner is doing it right

2011-01-03T16:32:00.000-08:00

Greetings, it's your old pal McLean Stevenson here, the king of career choices. Being the king allows me to make fun of other people who are making bigger mistakes than I ever did. Or praise the ones who are getting it right.

This is the part where I would link back to my own personal blog. But I don't update my own blog because I have a life.

Just kidding. It's because I'm dead, people. How do you still not get this?

Chargers coach Norv Turner is smarter than all of us. This is his world, and I am just a part of it.

It is Black Monday in the NFL, with many coaches losing their job. Some call it a tragedy. Yes, a tragedy that these coaches making millions will be paid to not work, and then resurface in the NFL as a coordinator down the road.

NFL coaches have a safety net. Not like actors. To be a great actor, you need to take a risk. That will rise you to greatness. When I took a chance on a pilot called M*A*S*H , I was rewarded for being on one of the greatest sitcoms of all time. The Packers of television if you will.

Although, that willingness to take a risk can also cost you, too. Something I learned when I left M*A*S*H to star in my own vehicle, Hello Larry.

Which was the Lombardi to the Redskins of television.

And people wonder why I got into weekly fist fights at the Brown Derby.

The point is, Turner has figured this all out. He knows that being a risk-taker is for suckers. All you have to do is be as banal as possible, and you have a job for life. At least in San Diego.

That kind of (rhymes with bit) gets you fired in Cleveland. If you ask me, struggling with the rebuilding Browns for two years is far less serious than taking a Super Bowl caliber team and missing the 2010 playoffs.

Yet, Turner has survived Black Monday.

Turner was brought in because the Chargers were not content with just making the playoffs, owner Dean Spanos wanted the team to win games in the playoffs. Turner led the Chargers to the AFC Championship Game in 2007. Since that time, the Chargers have reached the postseason twice in the last three years, and have lost three of their last four playoff games.

That is progress?

Even if you think that Marty Schottenheimer was not the answer (and if losers like Tony Dungy can win a Super Bowl, you can never convince me that Marty would not have), Turner certainly is not, either.

That exam is over, Chargers fans. You did not pass.

Spanos has said that he places a value on his coach and general manager getting along. So the Chargers have gone from wanting a coach to win games in the playoffs to just having a coach who the G.M. likes? Good luck selling this to public as you try to get your new stadium funded.

But give credit to Turner, who is almost the perfect coach. His offense is certainly fun to watch. Turner doesn’t call out his players. He doesn’t feud with the owner. His players don’t get arrested.

Well, two out of three isn’t bad. At least his wife isn’t making soft-core porn.

The point is, if you dare to be mediocre in the NFL, you have a job for life in San Diego. If the Chargers were a TV show, they would be According to Jim. A rather milk toast, non-offensive, non-descript team that does not offend white people.

Sitting here, I wish I would have taken the Turner career path. Or at least not let them kill my character off M*A*S*H

The Post Mortem: Congrats to the Seahawks

2011-01-02T21:05:00.000-08:00

There was a small part of me rooting for St. Louis FC to win the NFC West. If for nothing else, to quiet all of the hand-wringing media so concerned about a team with a losing record winning its division. Which, of course, will change the entire playoff landscape for years to come.

Get over it, Ds.

Funny, when it's the Seahawks playing host to the Saints in the playoffs, it is an outrage. Yet, nobody seems to mind that the Jets had a better record than the Colts, but Mark Sanchez and company are heading to Indianapolis next week.

That is about right.

Listen, you cannot change the format of the playoffs because one wacky 7-9 team won its division. If you want to do that, eliminate the divisions and just have conferences. But if you do that, my might as well eliminate conferences and just play a 31-game round-robin tournament.

Or maybe you can have the media vote to see who the best two teams are and put them in the Super Bowl.

It's one year, people. Get over it.

And honestly, I hope the Seahawks go over the Saints. The Seahawks in the NFC Championship Game would be cool. No, hosting the championship game. That would be awesome.

DO YOU think that Giants fans are going to hysterical that their team did not make the playoffs after finishing higher than the Seahawks? Probably not. The Giants fans seem to realize that the Giants screwed the Giants.

If New York could have held on to a 21-point lead in the fourth quarter against Philadelphia, this is an entirely different playoffs.

But real quick, suck it Eli.

THE COLTS are suddenly the hottest team in the NFL. But how come nobody points out that the Colts play in the weakest division outside of the NFC West? Yes, the AFC South is worse than the AFC West.

Yet the media seems to believe that Gomer has put the Colts on his back and they are riding to the playoffs.

That is not 100 percent accurate.

Gomer has benefited from playing against one of the weakest division schedules and his team soon will be exposed in the playoffs. But please, let the Colts beat the Jets so the Gomer-lover can be at a fever pitch as the team heads into Pittsburgh in two weeks.

And then we can all laugh as the Colts and Gomer crumble outside in the cold Pittsburgh snow.

HAD A hard time rooting for Texas Christian. On one hand, you wanted to pull for the Horned Frogs to win for all of the other non-AQ schools. But at the same time, you really wish that TCU had stayed in the Mountain West to help that conference earn an automatic bid.

The Mountain West would have had a great case coming off the heels of TCU's win, and Utah's demolishing of Alabama a few years ago.

Oh, and I guess Alabama cares about bowl games again. When the Utes smoked them in the Sugar Bowl, the SEC apologists claimed that Alabama was just going through the motions. Those same morons are now trumpeting the SEC's wins over the Big Ten in the bowl games over the weekend.

Even though that was a rough time for the Big Ten.

TOUGH BREAK for Eric Mangini, that defense in Cleveland was starting to come around, but the last few weeks pretty much ended it for him. Do the Browns go with John Fox? This should be pretty interesting. At least Jake Delhomme and Fox can be reunited again.

And as much as this pains me to say, but the Raiders would be making a bad move to dismiss coach Tom Cable. The players gave their vote of confidence in a huge win over the Chiefs.

AND WHAT'S the story with Eagles QB Kevin Kolb? In a tryout for other NFL teamas, he looked awful. He wants to be a starter in the league, right?

The Eagles might have had nothing to play for on Sunday, but a great showing by Kolb could have made him an attractive option to a quarterback starved team like the 49ers, Cardinals or Redskins. Though, you get the feeling that the Redskins would not be a willing trade partner with the Eagles anymore, considering how well that whole Donovan McNabb thing worked out for them.

The most astonishing part of this Eagles game is that there was a point in time where the Eagles were going to forge ahead with Kolb. Make no mistake, the Eagles would still be playing in a meaningless game in Week 17 if Kolb was the starting quarterback. The only difference is that the Eagles would be on the golf course next week if Kolb had held on to his job.

THANK YOU to Chargers RB Ryan Mathews for showing up for the 2010 NFL season. You were about a week late, pally.

PLAYOFF PREDICTION is coming on The Weak Ender. But I'm am leaning towards the Patriots and Packers right now, though I do vow to take my time.

AND FINALLY ...

Kudos to the Falcons for dousing owner Arthur Blank with a Gatorade bath after the Falcons clinched the top seed in the NFC.

Not for the bath itself, mind you. The whole Gatorade bath has not only become cliched, but it increasingly dangerous as these coaches get older, or have health problems. Seriously, University of Florida players, you are going to give a Gatorade bath to a coach who is retiring because of a heart issue? Urban Meyer‘s family likely held their collective breath after that.

But no, the Falcons deserve credit for having RB Michael Turner and WR Roddy White administer the cascade. You see, if your owner gets drenched by two of the team’s biggest stars, he laughs.

If Blank turns around and sees John Parker Wilson and Antone Smith holding the bucket, well, there could be no hot water at the team’s training facility this week.

The Weak Ender: Happy New Year

2010-12-31T00:08:00.001-08:00

Who knew that UConn women's basketball team continued to play after Meghan Gardler (pictured) graduated. But pity the poor lady Huskies, whose winning streak was stopped at just 90 consecutive wins. That is still 83 wins short of the longest winning streak in sport's history ...

Bill Goldberg's 173 consecutive wins in WCW.

What, are we not comparing fake sports now? Because we sure spent a lot of time comparing U Conn's streak to Wooden's Bruins. Why not throw Brea-Olinda into the mix here, too. Didn't it have a long winning streak, too?

My relief is that UConn finally lost so we can go back to not caring about women's basketball. Oh wait, we never did.

Care that is.

BEST COMMENT regarding the St. Louis FC vs. Seahawks matchup on Sunday night ... shouldn't this game be played in Dayton two days before the real tournament starts?

Excellent.

But the FC should make the playoffs as an 8-8 team. And if I'm not mistaken, didn't the Giants sneak into the playoffs as an 8-8 team? It was 2006, I believe. The Giants advanced and lost to the Eagles.

Nobody was complaining about the competitiveness then. But now when it's an NFC West team, suddenly, it is the end of the world. Remember, though, the Cardinals advanced to the Super Bowl after winning their division at 9-7.

Unless every team plays a round-robin, 31-game season, division winners should continue to get the benefit of the doubt and host playoff games.

BTW NFL players. You are still complaining about an 18-game season? Realize that the Kings just played four games in five nights. Some of those games on the road. And you sissies in the NFL cannot play two extra games?

THE WEAK Ender was going to be skipped again, but our boy WCT would be remiss if it was not pointed out that a Pac-12team (Washington) crushed a Big 10 team (Nebraska) in the Holiday Bowl.

And yes, I already counted Utah's loss as a Pac-12 loss to the Mountain West last week.

But how and the (expletive) did Kansas State get a penalty for excessive celebration for a salute? That has to be one of the dumbest rules in sports. It's not like the kid jumped into the snow banks and started doing snow angels.

AND FINALLY ...

Linebacker Channing Crowder doesn’t think much of your booing, Dolphins fan. Though this proves that he does not watch the team’s offense. But as Carly Simon once said, Channing, you’re so vain; I bet you think those boos were about you.

Maybe the Dolphins faithful were upset about the two men who whiffed on wedding proposals on the big screen during halftime. The Florida Sun-Sentinel says that one woman would not take her hands off her face during the awkward two minutes, which no doubt probably felt like an eternity.

Think they want a do-over?

If you are going to do the in-stadium proposal, make certain it’s a sure thing. Kind of like a fake punt. You want to make sure that your team is going to convert, otherwise, it could have a lasting negative impact. Just ask Rex Ryan. Though, you have to wonder if his ill-advised fake punt was really just some fancy footwork to get his name out of the papers for another reason.

But don't fret Rex, your recent blunders did not crack the list of the top six do-overs of 2010.

6. Kevin Kolb gets the start. Eagles QB Michael Vick is authoring one of sports' biggest redemption stories. Of course, this might not have happened if Kolb would have stayed healthy. Although, this falls down to No. 6 because coach Andy Reid bucked the idiotic, “you can’t lose a job to injury” nonsense.

And let’s lump in a plethora of quarterback decisions here, because quarterback calls could take up all six spots. So consider this space also reserved for Donovan McNabb’s contract extension, the Cardinals acquisition of Derek Anderson and the debut of Titans QB Rusty Smith.

And maybe Tom Brady’s hair, too, but that might just be jealousy.

5. Chargers skip special team's practice. Or it just seemed that way early in the season. Special team blunders are one of the chief reasons why the Chargers are not going to the postseason this season. This is why coaches say you have to win all three phases of the game. That's not just a cliché.

Notice that Norv Turner is coming back next year. Well, four playoff appearances in 13 seasons as a head coach speaks for itself. You have to give him another chance.

And Lil' Hater would be remiss if it was not mentioned that of the 29 coaches who have coached 204 games, Norv is the only one with a losing record.

Turner lets owners bang his daughter, right?

4.Lions Week 9 loss to the Jets. The Lions lost so many close games this season, maybe 2010 is an entire do-over. From losing QB Matthew Stafford to rookie DT Ndamukong Suh missing an extra point, filling in for K Jason Hanson, this had it all. But coach Jim Schwartz sealed the game when he allowed the Jets to set up the tying drive late in the fourth quarter by calling a third down pass that gave the Jets the ball with 1:40 left. And to make matters worse, he was calling the play for Drew Stanton.

3. Brad Childress/Wade Phillips/Mike Singletary given too much rope. The Cowboys, in particular, have played much better under Jason Garrett. But the 49ers were in the running until Week 16, and a coaching change could have meant the NFC West title.

2. Tashard Choice asks for Vick’s autograph. Apparently, fans do not want players fraternizing after the game. Yet, everybody was upset when Chiefs coach Todd Haley refused to shake Josh McDaniels’ hand after the Chiefs were blown out by the Broncos. Make up your mind people. And it's good to know that your team can start off the season with Super Bowl expectations and be eliminated by October, but what really upsets fans is asking for an autograph.

Don't you have bigger fish to fry Cowboys fans?

1. Vikings players go down to Mississippi to woo Brett Favre. The late Dean Martin as Sam Harmon in the original "Ocean’s 11" once said, “If you want to capture lightning in a bottle, I won’t stop you. But don’t try to capture yesterday.” Hard to believe that a 41-year-old, interception-prone quarterback with a gimpy ankle could not recreate that magical, once-in-a-lifetime season.

If you want to grouse about this list, or add your own jump into the comment section now.

But a final word on in-stadium proposal guy; if you are going to propose to your girlfriend with a message on the big screen and she has a common first name -- Lisa, Jennifer, Elizabeth -- make sure to use last names. Trust me from experience on this one. Because experience tells me nothing ruins a fourth date like a perceived proposal. Yeah, awkward.

The Post Mortem: You call that snow storm?

2010-12-26T22:27:00.000-08:00

If you watched any of the action of Sunday night on NBC, with the light snow flurries, you immediate reaction had to be ... these Nancy boys could not play in this (expletive)? How about butching up a little bit, Philadelphia.

Chuck Bednarik would silently weep if he knew that an Eagles game was postponed because of snow.

I don't blame the Philly fans. You know they would have been out in force on Sunday night. Drinking beers and shouting down any a-hole who happened to wander into the crowd wearing Giants gear. The Philadelphia sports fan is salt of the Earth, beer swilling and hard working.

They don't stop because of snow.

Which makes is more curious that they stopped this game. What could be the angle? To make sure that Michael Vick will lead your fantasy team to the promised land?

Good lord, with benching players because of concussions and not letting them play in the snow, what the hell is happening with the NFL?

Some other quick notes.

GOOD TO see that Eli Messiah is the bust that we all knew he was. You know it is December football when Eli is making the crucial mistake in a huge game.

I don't want to say that Eli's game was ugly, but Bob Barker is suggesting a face lift. (And what is up with Barker? Spade, neuter and give your dog a face lift immediately.)

The Giants are going to finish out of the playoffs. And if there is a God, it will be the 7-9 Seahawks making the playoffs, and the 10-6 Giants missing out. That would be justified for having Southern California suffer through all of the Giants games locally.

Honestly FOX, continue to put the Giants on local TV because the last couple of weeks have been the most satisfying we have seen in a long time.

BTW, the Packers have become kind of America's team. If they can get loose in the playoffs, look out. QB Aaron Rodgers is just a step away from superstardom.

HOW COME former 49ers coach Mike Singletary gets to take the easy way out and not have to finish up the team's dismal season? There was almost a part of me rooting for the 49ers to win the division just so Singletary could keep his job. The only thing more hilarious than his sideline rants is his revolving door at quarterback.

Singletary would make a great coach at the NCAA Divison II level.

KIND OF a mixed back for the Mountain West this week. San Diego State and Boise State looked really strong. The Aztecs were much tougher than Navy. And the Broncos beat Pac-10 bound Utah.

But what the (expletive) happened to Hawaii? Wow.

If Brady Hoke stays at SDSU, it will become the premiere program in the conference, surpassing Boise State in the near future.

And when they make the story of his life, Jeff Garlin will play him.

THE CHARGERS really f-ed themselves this year. And the team is even stumbling in December. But it is not time to pull the plug on the entire organization. At some point, the owners need to go to general manager A.J. Smith and say, fire Norv Turner or you will end up on the street, too.

And every fan of a team currently or possibly looking for a coach next season -- the Cowboys, 49ers, Browns -- is going to eye Jon Gruden. And who wouldn't?

But sources have long told me that Gruden has resisted NFL jobs hoping that the Chargers gig would someday open up. Gruden knows that Turner is not long for the coaching job in San Diego. And it was only a matter of time before he got his chance.

Gruden and Philip Rivers. That makes a lot of sense. If you look at all of the jobs that are either available or that will come available, San Diego is the top gig.

The only problem is that the impending lockout could delay a change. And if there is a shortened season/training camp, nobody is going to make a move.

In other words, it looks like another season of Turner on the sidelines, and Gruden waiting in the wings.

PROPS TO the Chiefs for winning the AFC West.

AND FINALLY ...

That's all I have.

The Weak Ender: Welcome Alyssa

2010-12-24T00:14:00.000-08:00

Why Alyssa Milano? I'm locked in a fantasy championship with my good friend Mark D., and I hope this enough to stave off the fantasy gods for a championship. Mark is one of the smartest people I know, however, so who knows if this is going to work.

BTW, if this is your first trip to THN this week, I hate to take time away from our airing of grievances from Festivus. Make sure to check that out. In fact, stop reading this because this is all just filler.

I would like to question why Ohio State players have been suspended for 2011, but they do not have to miss this year's bowl game. Mark May got it right. If you look up hypocrisy in dictionary, you would find the letters NCAA.

Seriously, why are you at work today? Take some time off and go home. Merry Christmas to all. I promise you, 2011 is going to rock.

Jerks.

Airing of Grievances

2010-12-22T22:35:00.000-08:00

Welcome to Festivus everybody. As you all know, today is a special holiday. And the highlight of course, the airing of grievances.

And I have a lot of problems with you people, and I am going to let you know about it.

The Gomer-loving media. What do you see in this guy that nobody else can see? Liking Gomer is akin to liking Jay Leno. They appeal to the same demographic, and also are ruthlessly conniving. Gomer, like Leno, would lead his own brother into an on-coming defender just to get ahead. One day Gomer is going to be exposed and I will be there to laugh at you all.

And you all know that Gomer is going to win the MVP this year. It is going to happen.

Frozen Yogurt. How and the (expletive) can this country be in the middle of a recession, yet there is a new dog damn frozen yogurt stand on every block. Is this how we are going to get America working again, by making us even fatter?

When did America vote, you know, we just aren't fat enough? Or were they just anticipating Prop 19 passing and trying to get ahead of the curve?

And don't give me that (expletive) that it's fat free. Bull (expletive). Even if the yogurt is fat free, all of the toppings that you are shoving into that seemingly bottomless container is not. What are you piling on, gummy worms, Snickers bars, Big Macs.

Enough people.

And why is this all self-service? When did America show that we have enough restraint and portion control? They had to outlaw super sized fries to get us to stop eating so much. Now you want to turn me loose in a yogurt shop with a bowl big enough to bathe a baby elephant?

Stop it.

And if I am filling up my own yogurt, putting on my own toppings, why and the (expletive) does that jackass behind the counter have a tip jar out there? (Expletive) him, I'm doing all of the work, I'm taking a dollar.

Boston. You (Richards) have been living off the Revolutionary War for way too long. What has Boston contributed since? Clam chowder and a bunch of chicks who look like Eric Stoltz from Mask.

Announcers who say, "It all depends on the spot." That one explains itself. No (expletive).

Women's basketball. Tell me, what is the most impressive winning streak in a fake sport, U Conn women's 89 consecutive games or the Undertaker's 18 consecutive wins at Wrestlemania. I will tell you which one I actually care about.

U Conn Geno Auriemma said we only cared because his team beat UCLA's streak. Wrong, nobody cares at all.

Being the winningest women's college basketball team is akin to beating the rookie level computer on Madden. Just who is the competition? I am pretty certain that I could walk on to any women's college basketball team right now and start. Give me four months of solid training and I would be the best player on the court.

Women should have the right to play sports. I feel that most women's sports should receive the same funding as men's (football should not count). But don't tell me that the athletes are equal.

Women, you can bring life into this world. You can pass a bowling ball through a space the size of the cardboard toilet paper holder. That is the most impressive thing that any human being can do. But you are not good basketball players.

LA football developers. Why do we again have two competing bids to build a stadium in Southern California? Nobody wants to go to a stadium downtown. Have you ever driven around LA Live during a Lakers game? Great, now add 50,000 more people. This has to be one of the dumbest ideas that has been thrown out there. Unless they plan to build public transportation (which needs environmental impact reports) and a new stadium (which needs environmental impact reports) without public funds they won't get, it certainly ain't happening.

You are not going to make a viable football franchise by sticking it in the middle of downtown LA. Football is a tailgating sport. Nobody wants to pay $7.50 for a large beer at TGIFridays before going to see the new LA football franchise play.

Why did we drive the O'Malley's out of the bidding back in 2003?

Texting and driving. I would rather be behind a drunk driver than somebody texting and driving at the same time. At least the drunk is giving driving all of his impaired attention. Not to condone drunk driving. Not at all, especially in light of Nick Adenhart's killer getting a life sentence.

But if you text and drive, you are worse than a drunk driver because there is simply no excuse.

And what is so dog damn important that you have to text on the freeway. Unless you are texting to say, warn of a terrorist attack, an upcoming tsunami or nude pictures of Cowgirl, nothing can be that important.

Hungarians. Just because.

People who yell, "Don't spoil it for me." DVRs have made us very lazy in our television viewing. Nothing is appointment TV anymore. But excuse me, your lazy ass is not going to keep me from talking about the season-finale of Dexter the night after it happens.

You have a number of options here. One, get the (expletive) out of the room. Seems simple enough. Either that or just watch the (expletive) show with the rest of us.

And what's worse. Some jackass was talking about The Pacific the other day. And one of our cubemates pipped up, asking for no spoilers.

To which I replied, we drop nukes on Nagazaki and Hiroshima. Japan gets its revenge by selling us overpriced raw fish and (expletive) cars. The end.

Playboy magazine. I know I have mentioned this recently, but why do you need to recycle Pamela Anderson and that annoying Kendra Baskett? Shouldn't you be camped out at Lindsay Lohan's rehab facility?

And why is it that the girls always look better naturally rather than after the Playboy makeover. Look at PMOY Hope Dworaczyk. She's so beautiful, it almost hurts in normal pictures. But her Playboy photos are nothing special.

Don't question me, do your own research.

Angie Harmon. How long before you cut the charade?

TSA screeners. If you really want to lodge a protest at the people who will be screening you at the airport, I have two words for you. Sweatpants, no underwear. That will teach them.

But I have a bigger complaint for the people who complain about TSA screeners. Do you think that this is a picnic for those people? Do you think that they like fondling your junk? That hard-working SOB just wanted a job a few months ago, and imagine his chagrin when they had a staff meeting to announce the new lap-dance policy that they were enacting?

Ok, TSA workers, here are some things you need to be aware of. Make sure you have your contact information updated, guys be ready to grab another man's package, and smoke only during your designated breaks.

Wait, what was that?

Only smoke during your designated breaks.

No, before that.

Oh yeah, you are now going to have spend your eight hour shift handling more balls than Tiger Woods' caddy. Enjoy.

Here's the thing people, just go through the scanner. Nobody is going to keep a picture of your naughty bits. Those pictures make you look like Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man.

And why are women opposed to these scans? Most of you will throw off your top for some plastic beads, but helping to prevent your plane from blowing up just doesn't seem important enough.

NFL Network. Isn't it about time you settled your beef with Time Warner? Or is the eight years that you have lost this battle not enough? The arrogance. Just go on the sports package already. I'll pay the extra money.

You lost, NFLN, time to move on.

And one other thing, NFL Network, you owe me $43 because I had to go to a bar to watch the Chargers game last week. Thanks for nothing you jerks.

FOX Network. Hey (Richards) nobody likes the (expletive) Giants. Quit showing their games. Unless they all end like last week.

To the jerk who stopped following me on Twitter because of my Pearl Harbor joke. Too soon?

Cleveland Sports Fans. You allowed LeBron James to walk through your city unscathed? What happened to the Cleveland I used to know? You should have at least burned down his house in Akron.

The Heisman Trophy. You allowed Reggie Bush to return his trophy, but had no trouble handing one over to Cam Newton? That makes perfect sense.

In opposite land.

The Houston Texans. Why are you not the Oilers? And why aren't more NFL teams wearing their old, old school uniforms? The new stuff is trash, and I'm scared to think of what Nike is going to do once they start making uniforms. As if Oregon was not ugly enough.

Charlie. Why won't you drink with us on Sunday night? What do you think that you do on Monday morning is so important that you cannot have a few beers with us during the Sunday night football game?

Angels fans. Listen, it sucks that we didn't get Carl Crawford. But if I can still pay $6.75 for a 21 ounce beer and not live in Boston, my team is already champions.

Oh yeah, and (expletive) Boston.

And be sure to check out the AofG blog.

Peyton Manning Hates Mormons

2010-12-22T00:07:00.000-08:00

Because really, that is the only explanation of why Gomer is trying to get poor Austin Collie killed on the field.

Seriously people, is Collie fooling around with Gomer's side piece or something? This truly boggles the mind.

Cowgirl in Playboy next month

2010-12-21T16:24:00.000-08:00

Subscribers to Playboy were greeted with a photo of Cowgirl, who will appear in next month's issue under the "Year in Sex." Just as predicted in this very space.

The photos are pre-implant removed, college days photos, just prior to the young Deanna Favre look.

Playboy still has photos of Cowgirl dating back to her college days when she was cashing in any way imaginable and now Playboy will be able to capitalize on her sudden resurgence without having to pay her for a new layout. Genius, really.

The magazine also did this when Kelly Monaco won the first season of Dancing with the Stars.

And as a fan of soft-core porn, this is a win for America.

Sorry for the lack of updates, too. We are looking to acquire more talent to help us kickoff the New Year. If you are interested in applying for a spot, hit us up at the usual.

The Weak Ender: Chargers moving closer

2010-12-16T22:32:00.000-08:00

There was a lot of feedback about Reese Witherspoon last week. Not a lot of it was good. Maybe Olivia Munn will be a little bit better. And I bring her up because she's in a new show on NBC this fall. Perfect Couples. Looks delightful.

THE CHARGERS might just get away with this after all. The Chargers defeated the 49ers -- the last possible loss on the schedule -- and should slide into the top of the AFC West at 10-6. The Chiefs are going to struggle with QB Matt Cassel doing the old man shuffle following an appendectomy.

What would even be better would be for the Chargers to finish 10-6, and the Jets to lose out the rest of the season to finish 9-7 and miss the playoffs, showing that the AFC West is not as dog (expletive) as everybody is led to believe.

Not that I believe that can happen, though.

THE VIKINGS will be playing outdoors (maybe) on Monday Night Football. But if the University of Minnesota's stadium is not ready in time, Lucas Oil Field will be the backup option.

Now some of you believe that this is football as it should be. Out in the elements. Let me ask you then, do you have indoor plumbing? Do you use the internet? An iPod? I only ask because why is some technology good and others are not? If we have evolved as a species to where retractable roofs are possible, why not use that technology?

Do you not use Novocain when you go to the dentist?

Maybe I'm bitter thinking about the number of Super Bowls the Rams could have gone to if the Vikings were playing in an indoor stadium? Or how different the 2009 ALCS could have been if the Yankees had a retractable roof over the new stadium?

But the Vikings are going to give it a go. A Monday night game in the snow with no booze. That sounds like a great time. NFL games are boring live anyway, this should make it worse.

And speaking of indoor stadiums, AEG released its plans for a downtown LA Stadium. Yep, retractable roof in Los Angeles. And it is downtown. Uh, have you ever tried to move around LA Live during a Lakers game? The Lakers/Kings draw around 20,000 fans. A football game could draw 70,000 people.

Good luck with all of that.

And why bother putting a stadium downtown, trying to bring in the transplant fans. All of the real fans live in the burbs. Out where the City of Industry stadium would be built. Listen, the Galaxy play in Carson. LA's NASCAR track is in Fontana. Lets' put the stadium out in the City of Industry.

I mean this is what LA needs, competing stadium bids again. And then the downtown LA stadium will never get built. Ed Roski will grow frustrated -- even though he has all of the environmental impact reports done -- and nothing will happen.

Yikes.

And seriously, Minnesota, no booze at a football game? That's lame.

IS IT fair to say that Cooper Manning is the Khloe Kardashian of the NFL?

JAGUARS COACH Jack Del Rio accused the Raiders of taking some liberties with his players (via FanHouse). Hard to believe that a team led by coach Tom Cable, probably best known for breaking the jaw of an assistant coach, would be taking liberties with anybody.

HEY CELTICS, way to overreact to a regular-season win over the Knicks. You guys are worthless. And about to be irrelevant now that Miami is playing much better.

AND FINALLY ...

THERE WAS a time when the sidelines were like those exclusive men's clubs. Where a man could put on a nice suit, enjoy a smoke and call a football game. Now, the sidelines have been overrun with television cameras, cheerleaders and hanger ons that always seem to get in the way.

Right, Sal Alosi?

The Jets strength and conditioning coach was fined and suspended for tripping Dolphins CB Nolan Carroll. And that brings to mind the notion that while the sidelines have become increasingly crowded, only the players and officials should be allowed on the field. Everybody else should be well behind the sidelines.

And if you don't believe me, just ask former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes, the Stanford band and that bird that flew into Randy Johnson's fastball.

But even then, here are six things that need to be kept off the sidelines.

6. Practical jokes. Bills RB Thurman Thomas was one of the best running backs of his era. But will likely be remembered for losing his helmet prior to the start of Super Bowl (roman numerals). DE Bruce Smith admitted during his Hall of Fame speech that he did indeed hide Thomas' helmet. How did the Bills manage to lose four consecutive Super Bowls?

5. Fans. Ask a football fan who Mike Curtis is, and most will not remember him. Show them this video, and then everybody remembers him. That is probably the best take down of a fan, until this poor bastard was taken down during the Bengals vs. Packers game in 2005. And no, that was not former Packers QB T.J. Rubley.

Or was it?

4. Gatorade. Sure, players need to hydrated during the games. But the act of dumping Gatorade on the winning coach has become so trite, the players have lost the privileged.

3. Snow balls. 49ers kicker Ray Wersching was lined up to kick a field goal in the second quarter during a Monday night game at Denver, but a fan launched a snowball on to the field which caused QB Matt Cavanaugh to bobble the snap. The Broncos' Rich Karlis hit a 24-yard field goal to win the game. Giants fans almost cost their team a victory when they pelted the Chargers sidelines in 1995. But they did cause an injury to Chargers equipment manager Sid Brooks.

2a. Snow plow. In 1982, Patriots coach Ron Meyer ordered snowplow operator Mark Henderson to clear a spot for K John Smith to kick the winning field goal. Hey, that totally seems legal, right?

2b. Visors. Remember how ridiculous Jon Gruden looked during the Tuck Rule game? I guess this goes to show, funny stuff happens when New England plays in the snow.

And great, no retractable roof for them. Though it did work out in the Tuck Rule game.

1. Video cameras. Trust me on this one.

Cliff Lee signs with Phillies, America Wins

2010-12-13T22:57:00.001-08:00

Did you ever think you would see a day when the Red Sox would be viewed as the Evil Empire and the Yankees are the sympathetic losers?

Well, nobody is sympathizing with the Yankees. Rather, we are all laughing at them. I don't think that the Yankees fans spitting on Cliff Lee's wife had anything to do with him jumping to the Phillies (and turning down a boatload of money), but you almost hope that it is.

Lee has been very public in saying that he really enjoyed his time with the Phillies, so it is awesome to see somebody willing to put their money where their mouth is. Or at least, leave money on the table to be in a good situation.

And by that token, hopefully Carl Crawford will have his eyes opened to just how awful of a place that Boston is.

Really, what's $142 million when you will likely end up broke and living in your used Honda Civic when your playing career is over?

The Weak Ender: Gomer finds a team he can beat

2010-12-09T20:29:00.000-08:00

But first, Reese Witherspoon is hot now? Like really smoking hot. She was good looking in those Legally Blonde movies and Cruel Intentions, but she has really turned a corner in that new forgettable movie she is in.

Did she sneak up on us in hotness, or is that just me? Moving on.

GOMER FINALLY did find a team that he could beat. And look, he did not thrown an interception against the Titans. Congratulations, Gomer, you did it. But two more Colts linemen went down. That team is screwed.

But if you are into that fantasy thing, Gomer was outscored -- fantasy wise -- by Titans QB Kerry Collins.

THE PATRIOTS will lose this week. Just as soon as everybody is crowning them the best team in the AFC, they will lose to the Bears this week. You know, that is just the way things work in the NFL. You are on top, for what, like a minute before it all comes crashing down?

THE CHARGERS will win. QB Matt Cassel had his appendix removed. Talk about your bad timing. But the Chargers can still run the table -- look at the schedule -- to finish 10-6. I ain't heard no fat lady sing.

ALRIGHT LET'S talk about the elephant in the room. The Boston Red Sox have assembled themselves quite the baseball team this winter. Take that Giants, or winning a World Series based on pitching and timely hitting.

And no doubt, the world will anoint the Red Sox as the AL champions before the season even starts. But there are a few things that the Sox must first deal with.

The first, has extended, uh, training caught up to Dustin PEDroida? Those Mastercard commercials said it all, too small, too slow and no athletic ability. So how did PEDroida find this miracle toxin that helped him become a MLB player?

What about David "Big PEDdy" Ortiz? Is he willing to start his cycle before July? Ortiz gets lazy with his steroid use, that's for sure.

And who is going to pitch for this team? Jon Lester seems pretty good. But can he carry some of the other stiffs on the team?

The Angels are taking a beating right now because they did not shell out for Carl Crawford. And that's fine. But it is insane to pay $20 million for a guy, when you have Mike Trout coming up in the farm system. The Angels make moves when they need to. And while it seems bleak right now, again, I ain't heard no fat lady sing.

AND FINALLY ...

The world is piling on Cowgirl for surfacing Brett Favre's lewd behavior. And some have called her an opportunist.

And for that, I agree. I feel that Cowgirl should have done what other victims of sex scandals should have done and taken the high road.

And gone on Dancing with the Stars.

The I Hate the Raiders Kid

2010-12-08T18:44:00.001-08:00

Thank you, Shutdown Corner.

Who won Monday night?

2010-12-07T15:14:00.000-08:00

TPM: Long offseason for Chargers fans

2010-12-07T00:18:00.000-08:00

The Chargers may have lost the game, but at least they won the postgame brawl. Seriously, Raiders fan, what made you think that it was a good idea to even take a charge at the Chargers fans?

Excuse the delay on TPM, but sometimes real world stuff takes precedence. Including a dark anniversary that happened over the weekend. And I’ll leave it at that.

Except to say that now the Chargers have really depressed me. Reading some of the comments from the previous post, the Chargers season is not a success until the Raiders are swept. Well, maybe the Colts, too. But that’s it.

The Chargers have not quite hit rock bottom yet, but they can certainly see it from here. Though the optimist in my – which I typically keep quelled with bottles of Bushmills – will note that a four-game close out will put the team at 10-6 and there is no way that the Raiders are going to reach that mark. The Chiefs, maybe. But not the Raiders. So there is still hope.

And I don’t want to be one of those guys who hope for losing seasons because it means the coach will be fired. Once Tony Dungy won a Super Bowl ring, that showed that nearly anybody can coach a Super Bowl winner. Even if you are standing at the top of Mount Pious.

One thing that does need mentioning, remember when Patriots QB Tom Brady was just the better real quarterback than Gomer? Now he is a better fantasy option, too.

Brady has been lights out, playing his best football against Steelers, Colts and Jets. You know, the best teams in the conference. Gomer is already in playoff mode, throwing interceptions and having that befuddled look on his face that typically only appears when he makes his biggest mistakes in the biggest games.

Of course, people are wondering what is wrong with Gomer. He’s never like this. And that is somewhat true. See, the Colts don’t typically play many meaningful games during the regular season. And when they are meaningful, he typically folds.

The Colts are just playing more “must-win” games this year. And when the Colts “must-win,” Gomer folds the tent, throws a bad interception and has that look on his face like you would typically find on a pouting Down syndrome child.

And that means it has been a good year. So the Chargers losing to the Raiders sucks. But if the Colts can be held out of the playoffs, then this season must be viewed as worthwhile.

BOISE STATE is going to the Las Vegas Bowl. That’s awesome. Not that you can say that it is much of a surprise. The non-championship bowls are for the big-time schools to take a little vacation and then participate in an exhibition game.

But teams like Boise State and Utah were always messed things up by going out and actually trying during these games. Actually making teams have to play hard. Boise State beat Oklahoma in a memorable game. And Utah embarrassed Alabama in the Sugar Bowl.

Thankfully, these two teams are shuttled off to a bowl where the teams can play to their heart’s content and not bother the big boys.

But a warning to Wisconsin in the Rose Bowl. Texas Christian is actually going to try and take this game seriously. Thankfully the Badgers never mail it in during the bowl season.

I mean, they are not Ohio State.

And finally …

That is all I have right now.

Baseball sucks

2010-12-06T10:42:00.001-08:00

And quit smiling Theo, you are no genius. You are just fortunate enough to fleece one of the struggling franchises.

Baseball needs to put a stop to things like this. There is no way this trade should have been allowed. If the Red (rhymes with bunts) get Carl Crawford, too, I'm done.

The Weak Ender: God Let's Down Stevie

2010-12-02T22:10:00.000-08:00

Ashley Judd? Is this just a blatant attempt to give a shout out to our g\pal, Diane? You bet. Sometimes when we are reaching for the Weak Ender girl, we tend to go too slutty. But we will not be doing that this week.

Besides, Kentucky is on our minds because for Wildcats TE Jacob Tamme has been awesome for my fantasy team recently.

So there is a link, albeit a weak one.

ALRIGHT I have come to the conclusion that Auburn vs. Oregon is going to be a pretty good BCS title game. Maybe because Texas Christian can suck it.

Seriously Horned Frogs? Taking the cheap automatic qualifier? The Mountain West would have built a pretty serious case with Boise State, Hawaii, Nevada, and Texas Christian under one conference banner in a few years. Plus Fresno State, rising San Diego State, and Air Force.

That is a pretty good conference right there.

But I'm cool with Auburn and Oregon this year. So it means that one of those teams is going to lose this weekend. Oh hell, watch it be Oregon.

And why is it that the BCS title game falls on a lame day? How is this game not on a Saturday?

BTW, WHY is Auburn QB Cam Newton still allowed to play? I mean, I want to see him play because I enjoy his talent. But the NCAA looks pretty transparent here.

FOR AS many times as legendary quarterback Kurt Warner came out and thanked God following a huge win, it was only a matter of time before a player raised his fists to the heavens after a crucial loss.

Bills WR Stevie Johnson was that player, questioning his faith via Twitter, after dropping the winning touchdown in overtime. (Really, people are Tweeting now instead of praying?)

The Bills players, to their credit, are still sure of Johnson, as many of them rallied around their receiver on Monday offering support. QB Ryan Fitzpatrick told reporters that he had 100 percent confidence in Johnson and that he will keep going the receiver’s way.

Kind of like when Viper told Jester to make sure that Maverick got back up into the air immediately after Goose died in Top Gun.

But can this guy recover or is he destined to be the NFL's version of Rick Ankiel?

Johnson should take a cue from other playeers. Bengals WR Terrell Owens has dropped many passes in his career, but he remains as confident as ever. Owens has never seemed so despondent before… Oh, right.

But still, hopefully Johnson can recover.

God willing.

PATRIOTS QB Tom Brady is bald. That’s right, bald. Or so the reports in the National Enquirer suggests. Brady reportedly is a patient of the Leonard Hair Transplant Association in Cranston, R.I. Meaning Brady’s gorgeous locks are nothing more than a façade. A mere cover-up to one of the biggest sporting scandals since the 1919 Black Sox.

Say it ain’t so!

Apparently, three Super Bowl rings and a supermodel wife are no match against vanity. Then again, none of us have been compared to Jets coach Rex Ryan in the looks department.

But, Tom, whether these rumors are true or not (and I believe everything I read in the tabloids), there is no reason to fear being bald. Sure, we cannot be president (seeing that we haven't had a bald president since Eisenhower). But many bald players have gone on to have great NFL careers.

Here are the six top bald NFL players of all-time.

And point of order, these are hair-thinning bald guys. Not dudes who are bald because it is fashionable. As Larry David once said, you are not part of the bald community.

6. Otis Sistrunk

This might have been a grooming choice, but you couldn't tell at the time. When he took his helmet off on Monday Night Football and Frank Gifford said, "And from the University of Mars ...," you knew you were looking at one of the coolest football players ever. He personified the Raiders.

5. Mel Renfro

When your friends tried to trade you a Renfro football card, you thought that no way this guy was an NFL player. He looked like a friendly neighbor, not one of the most feared defensive players in the NFL. Turns out he was a Hall of Fame defensive back.

4. Y.A. Tittle

Some might argue that the image of Eagles LB Chuck Bednarik standing over a prone Giants RB Frank Gifford might be the greatest NFL photo of all time. But if a bleeding Tittle does not top that photo, it is very, very close. Tittle was an NFL MVP (1963), but the title continued to elude him. But he proudly wore his male-pattern baldness.

3. Jerry Rice

Maybe this was a product of playing way too long in the NFL. But Rice became a member of the bald community later in his career. Though one might say that Rice was able to cover it up earlier in his career with his high-cut fade. During his time with the Raiders, Rice became the first player in NFL history to combine cornrows and a shaved head. Only to be later matched by QB Donovan McNabb.

2. Terry Bradshaw

Bradshaw over Rice? Well, he does have more Super Bowl MVP awards than Rice (three to one). And Bradshaw played the majority of his career as a BA ... a Bald American. Plus Bradshaw starred in a number of movies -- Cannonball Run and Hooper -- with fellow baldy Burt Reynolds. Only a collective effort could keep him out of the top spot.

1. The 1970s Dolphins

Probably the greatest collection of bald players ever. S Dick Anderson, K Garo Yepremian and S Jake Scott all sported the look of the time -- chrome dome and thick, luscious horseshoe of hair. There was no shame. In fact, this is why this team was able to have a perfect season in 1972 and still win the Super Bowl, Tom. There is something to be said for being imperfect in your hair but perfect on the field. Something your Patriots couldn't do. Coincidence?

AND FINALLY ...

The Post Mortem: Blame Archie

2010-11-29T14:24:00.000-08:00

Gomer has his dad to blame for this. If Eli Messiah had just gone to San Diego, the Chargers wouldn’t turn out the Colts like this, year after year. But now, America’s Soccer Mom had to push the issue. Eli went to the Giants and the Chargers continue to punk Gomer every year.

But here is the bright side, Colts fan. Gomer has thrown seven interceptions in his last two games against the Patriots and Chargers. That means that he is in postseason form.

And why is it that the Colts look like the Boston Celtics of the NFL? Flopping and begging for fouls on seemingly every play. The Colts are obviously just following their leader.

Go make a commercial, Gomer. Nobody cares about you anymore.

ALRIGHT LET’S get this out of the way. It made my physically ill that Boise State lost on such an incredible circumstance. That poor kid has to live with that his whole life. The good news, for him, is that Oregon and Auburn will not lose, meaning that Boise State had to chance to get into the title game. But here are a couple of truths.

For starters, you just cannot expect to go undefeated in a tough conference like the WAC. Three teams are in the Top 25 (Boise State, Nevada and Hawaii). The WAC is just too tough.

And second, if the SEC is so tough. If it’s so impossible to make it through the regular season undefeated, how come a team has gone undefeated in the SEC regular season in each of the last three seasons? Just saying.

Here is the horrible reality of college football. Nevada has a huge win in a rivalry game and it loses money, because it kept Boise State out of a BCS bowl game. Oh well, a nice farewell F-You to the WAC, the conference that sued it for moving to the Mountain West.

AND FINALLY …

I get TCU wanting to go to an automatic qualifying conference, but I hope you lose in your bowl game. I wish there was a way for Stanford to jump into the title game if Auburn loses this week.

The Post Mortem: Archie must be proud

2010-11-22T17:16:00.000-08:00

Eli Messiah has always followed in his brother’s shadow. Although the gigantism of Eli’s helmet makes him cast the biggest shadow in the NFL. But let’s take a tale of the tape.

Gomer was the first overall selection in the NFL Draft. Eli did him one better by not only being the top selection in the draft, but crying until the Chargers traded him to the Giants.

Gomer took the backdoor to a Super Bowl title, and won an undeserving MVP award that was only given to him by the Manning-loving media. Eli not only matched him with his own Super Bowl win, but he won an even more egregious MVP award after David Tyree made a circus catch to win the game. Asante Samuel could have sealed that game by holding on to Eli’s errant pass in the closing minutes of the Super Bowl. But no, he dropped it. Even if the Patriots had won that game, Eli would have been only the second member of a Super Bowl losing team to win the MVP award.

But Sunday night was the big finale. The final straw that showed that Eli always manages to not only excel in Gomer’s shadow, but exceed it.

Gomer put the Colts on his shoulders again, but threw away a chance to beat the Patriots on the road by throwing an interception to lose the game. The Colts were in field-goal range to win. Gomer was not satisfied with that. He didn’t want to chance Adam Vinatieri blowing the game. Gomer wanted to blow the game and he certainly did.

Eli was even more spectacular in derailing the Giants. Not satisfied with just throwing one interception, he threw two interceptions in the final four minutes. And he made a nice scramble to pick up a first down, then tripped over his own face and fumbled to give the Eagles the game. You would almost believe that Eli was trying to throw the game, but he just does not look smart enough to pull that off.

Seriously, Eli. It might be time to ditch the beanie. You do not look like a smart man.

That was a pretty satisfying conclusion to a pretty good day.

THE RAIDERS came back to Earth. Which was nice. The thought of the Raiders being a decent team again was too much to think of. Of course, the Raiders themselves thought it was too ridiculous, too, as they went out and had that performance against the Steelers.

Although, the Richard Seymour punch to Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger was a nice touch. You know there was a college coed in Georgia cheering that move.

STRANGE DAYS on Saturday. In the middle of the college football season, we had the UNLV hoops win over the Badgers, and the Kings win over the Bruins on the big screen at our local watering hole. Of course, when your other option was USC getting smoked again in Corvalis, then that explains a lot.

BTW, didn’t Oregon State get crushed by Washington State? Nice hire, USC.

AND FINALLY …

Penny Hardaway is thinking of making a comeback. Let’s hope that Lil’ Penny will not be far behind.

The Weak Ender: She's marrying who?

2010-11-18T23:15:00.001-08:00

Let me see if this is correct. Jessica Simpson went from Tony Romo -- the quarterback of the Cowboys -- to some retired tight end who played for the Seahawks or 49ers or something.

That would be like going from Johnny Knoxville to Steve-O. Though, that may have happened.

But what an amazing fall from grace. She still looks good. She's still in movies? But this is a terrible rebound relationship for Jessica. Ben Roethlisberger would have been a better option.

And here is the kicker. She is engaged to the guy, and she bought the engagement ring. That's right, Jessica Simpson bought her own engagement ring.

Dude, that was the only reason why I never went out with her. Because I knew I would never be able to afford a wedding ring for her. I don't have 98 Degrees money. So I thought it would have been a lost cause.

And sure, I'm married, but still. I'm a little upset about this news.

Though, not as upset as having my fantasy kicker get me only zero points on Thursday night. That's a great way to start the fantasy week. I guess that is what I get for having Michael Vick last week.

And yes, I get it. I probably should not be using Vick. Poor Pappagorgio would be rolling in her grave, if her ashes were not on our mantle.

Fantasy football, however, is a business. Honestly, my two quarterbacks are Vick and Roethlisberger. Brett Favre even had a stint on my roster -- the Dog-killing rapists.

I am not proud of it, but if Vick continues to put up these fantasy numbers, I roll through the pound with him. If he needs me to pimp him a pitbull pup, like teenagers standing in front of the 7-11 looking to score some beers, I am all about it.

Let's make it happen.

WHAT ELSE is happening? How do you feel about these Friday night games that Boise State is playing? Chance to shine in front of some actual East Coast critics? Or does it make it look junior varsity?

I tend towards the former, because if you watch Boise State, you can tell it is a talented team. To say otherwise is intellectually dishonest.

Just as it would be dishonest to say that Boise State deserves to go to the national championship game undefeated teams from the Pac-10 and SEC.

And wouldn't you know it, LSU coach Les Miles is already trying to get his one-loss team into the mix. Nice try, douche. The Tigers need a lot of help if they want to reach the BCS title game.

THE RAIDERS and Steelers are renewing one of the bitterest rivalries in NFL history this week. Although Roethlisberger vs. Campbell is not exactly Bradshaw vs. Stabler.

However, the two teams played in one of the most controversial games ever. And if you will allow me, here are the six most memorable plays in NFL history.

6. Music City Miracle

Following the Bills’ kickoff on the game’s final play, Titans WR Kevin Dyson takes a field-wide lateral from TE Frank Wycheck and races 75 yards to lift Tennessee over Buffalo in an AFC Wild Card Game. What made the outcome more delicious was that Bills coach Wade Phillips had benched QB Doug Flutie for the game after Rob Johnson performed well in a meaningless Week 17 contest that was played after their playoff slot had been determined. Phillips was seconds away from being justified for an unjust move. The Football Gods said otherwise.

5. Tyree’s catch in Super Bowl XLII

Talk about your desperation heaves. Giants QB Eli Manning fights through a number of defenders, launches the ball toward a little-known David Tyree, who pins it to his helmet while Patriots safety Rodney Harrison desperately tries to knock it away. This is what happens to Harrison when he tries to play by the rules. The play set up Plaxico Burress‘ winning touchdown reception to end the Patriots’ bid for perfection.

4. The Holy Roller

The Raiders were once known (should that be past tense?) as rule breakers. But Stabler might not have broken the rules when he intentionally fumbled the ball forward against the Chargers, which allowed RB Pete Banaszak to knock it into the end zone so TE Dave Casper could fall on it for a touchdown. A rule was later added making this illegal.

3. Immaculate Reception

This might be hard for you youngsters to believe, but there was a time when the Steelers were a downtrodden franchise and the Raiders were among the NFL’s elite. But when Steelers RB Franco Harris caught a ball that had ricocheted off John “Frenchy” Fuqua‘s hands via the Raiders’ Jack Tatum and raced into the end zone, a dynasty was born.

The only thing that could have made this play more memorable would have been if the referee had buried his head into the replay booth for five minutes, if there were a replay rule at the time, and later emerged to explain that there was no conclusive evidence, and the play would stand.

2. The Hail Mary

The one and only. Cowboys QB Roger Staubach threw a 50-yard touchdown pass to WR Drew Pearson in the closing seconds of a 1975 NFC Divisional playoff game. After the game, Staubach referred to the pass as a “Hail Mary” and the legend was born. Vikings fans still say that Pearson pushed off and call it Holy (expletive).

1. The Tuck Rule

This game had everything you would want: a snow storm, in the playoffs, and the Raiders losing. Patriots QB Tom Brady appeared to have fumbled in the closing minutes to give Oakland the win. But the now-famous NFL Rule 3, Section 21, Article 2, Note 2 said otherwise. Brady went on to lead New England to the win and ultimately a Super Bowl win over St. Louis. Adam Vinatieri‘s winning boot in the Super Bowl deserves an honorable mention here.

Also deserving votes: the Ghost to the Post, the Sea of Hands, and the fight between Rams and Raiders fans during a Week 11 game at Anaheim Stadium in 1994.

AND FINALLY ...

The Eagles win over the Redskins was the third-most lopsided score for a home team coming off a bye week.

The Post Mortem: That was an ass kicking

2010-11-15T22:11:00.000-08:00

Redskins QB Donovan McNabb started sweating just by watching Eagles QB Michael Vick.

Was McNabb channeling his inner-Bobby Layne by drinking before the game? Perhaps earning his undeserved contract extension?

Former Eagles WR Terrell Owens put it best when he sent out this Tweet:

How do u justify a 78 million dollar contract w/this type of performance?

But not quite sure what Owens was getting at here. McNabb was at least in the game. Not standing on the sidelines burning $100 million like DT Albert Haynesworth.

I wonder what it would be like to spend all of that money on tickets to a Monday night game, wait around for the 9 p.m. tipoff and then before the first quarter even ends, your team is down 28-0? How many people were still tailgating in the parking lot when this game was over.

But here is the most charming story. Not sure if you caught the squabble before the game. But Redskins S LeRon Landry and CB DeAngelo Hall were jawing with Eagles WR DeSean Jackson.

Turns out that they were taunting Jackson because of his concussion problems. Classy. Looks like Jackson was the one delivering the knockout blow, moments into the game.

Now it makes sense why Vick dialed up a long bomb to open the game. Old Andy Reid was sticking it to the idiot Redskins.

I don't believe in karma, but this just might convince me.

NOBODY REALLY looked impressive at the top of the polls in NCAA football. Auburn mailed in its game against Georgia like they were doing the latest edition of the Weak Ender. Oregon was sleep walking. Boise State was doing what it does. And then there was Texas Christian.

Let's be honest, San Diego State has shown it can hang with tough teams on the road. Just ask Missouri. But here is the problem with the current system. The Aztecs were better off looking strong, then ultimately losing like they did. Because the Mountain West Conference could use the infusion of money stemming from a BCS appearance.

And the really sad thing about the BCS is that Pittsburgh is likely in.

BY THE numbers: Gomer had seven fantasy points on Sunday. Vick had 28 in the first quarter.

AND FINALLY ...

That 24 hour college basketball marathon is awesome. I am going to plan it better next year so I can spend that day in Las Vegas.

Not cool, Vikings

2010-11-14T22:05:00.000-08:00

Forgive me for allowing my inner fantasy geek shine through, but what the hell Brad Childress?

I understand that the NFL is a copycat league. But just because the Browns are having success with Peyton Hillis, that does not mean that every team has to run out and get a white running back.

The Vikings kept spilling Adrian Peterson with Toby Gerhart. Taking away valuable fantasy points. Not move.

The Weak Ender: Cowgirl meets with NFL security

2010-11-12T07:05:00.001-08:00

You would think that she could have dressed up for the event, right? But this is a photo of her arriving at an undisclosed location in New York.

And isn't this just like the Cowgirl? Showing up for an event that everybody had forgotten about three weeks ago.

Looks like Brett Favre is going to be getting a day off soon.

Cowboys fire Phillips, hire Garrett

2010-11-08T17:55:00.001-08:00

The Dallas Cowboys have fired coach Wade Phillips and replaced him with offensive coordinator Jason Garrett.

Yes, the same Garrett whose schemes nearly got QB Tony Romo killed.

Nice move. This is like firing the drug dealer and then promoting Charlie Sheen to the position.

The Post Mortem: TCU impresses

2010-11-07T21:44:00.001-08:00

Remember when the Cowboys were going to be the first team in NFL history to play the Super Bowl in their home stadium? Yeah, nobody in Dallas is going to be thinking about that.

But at least you have Texas Christian, Dallas fan. There is somebody who is fixing to play for the national title. Well if it gets a chance.

The Horned Frogs are currently No. 3 in the BCS, followed by Boise State. Kind of strange because TCU beat the No. 5 team in the country by, what, 80 points? The Broncos stuffed high-flying Hawaii and ground it to only 7 points. Obviously that was not enough to impress the voters.

Now, even the biggest cockeyed optimist realizes that an undefeated Pac-10 and SEC team is going to advance to the title game. Let's be realistic here. Even I would not be able to argue that.

However, I still firmly believe that Oregon and Auburn will lose a game this season. And when that happens, Boise State and TCU have done enough to earn a place in the championship game.

Now, some will argue that having Boise State and TCU is not a sexy championship game. I guess. But even Dennis Dodd believes the two step sisters deserve a shot at the title. Provided Oregon and Auburn lose.

And I believe it is going to happen. Oregon always finds a way to choke. Auburn is not running the table. But I am not kidding, if LSU gets in over an undefeated team ... well, there is not much that I can do. But goodness gracious, I will root against LSU.

Yeah, take that Tigers.

Other news and notes.

THE RAIDERS are winning again. This is a good thing. The Raiders fans -- even the most myopic -- were starting to roll over and piddle on themselves. Most Raiders fans wouldn't even have the passion to stab a Chargers fan. Now, Chargers fans are advised to wear Kevlar gear for the team's impending matchup in the coming weeks. But having the Raiders decent is a huge boon. That just makes it sweeter when they ultimately fail.

And hey, the guys who put Raiders stickers on the back windows of lowered mini-trucks is back in business. Hooray.

THE COWBOYS are losing. This is cool as long as the Raiders are winning. One of them has to be just good enough to fail in the playoffs again. So we will enjoy the Packers beatdown on Sunday night.

This space is reserved just in case coach Wade Phillips is fired on Monday. This is coming a bit later.

EAGLES QB Mike Vick has gone through the ringer, and really, he does not deserve our sympathy. But he's on my fantasy team -- along with Ben Roethlisberger -- on the Dog Killing Rapists, so I am starting to get a soft spot for him.

And then he beats Gomer. You have to love it.

FORMER BEARS QB Jim McMahon says that football is causing him to lose his memory. No Jim, that's called a blackout from drinking. Sheesh.

AND FINALLY ...

I am loving the Browns and RB Peyton Hillis. If for nothing else, Broncos coach Josh McDaniels traded him and a second-round pick for QB Brady Quinn.

Austin Collie's wives stand watch

2010-11-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

It was touch-and-go for most of the night, but the wives of Colts WR Austin Collie were relieved that he was going to be alright.

The Weak Ender: The Redskins are working out who?

2010-11-04T23:15:00.000-07:00

No, not her.

We have time for one more Chargers Girl, slutting it up for Halloween. Yeah, just Halloween. But if you would like to see more, go here.

THE REDSKINS openly criticized the conditioning of QB Donovan McNabb, probably best known for throwing up in the Super Bowl. And then they bring in JaMarcus Russell for a workout? Were the Redskins merely trying to make themselves feel better about McNabb.

Like hey look, we don't have the fattest quarterback in the league. It's close, mind you. But he's not the fattest.

THE COWBOYS are circling the drain as one of the worst teams in the NFL, with no realistic shot to compete. But when you team sucks, you have to find a way to entertain yourselves in other ways.

I am saying that it's almost safe for work.

WELL AT least Randy Moss will get a bye week this season.

The Titans have been awarded the enigmatic receiver via waivers. Though, sometimes you should be careful what you ask for — or in this case claim. Adding Moss to your team seems to have the same kind of impact as entering into wedlock with Charlie Sheen. Sure, it grabs headlines, and seems like a good idea. But eventually this is just going to end poorly.

Moss will not put up big, consistent numbers, as those days are apparently long gone. There is a chance Moss could have some value if he buys into what coach Jeff Fisher is selling. The Titans players lobbied for Fisher to claim Moss, so the troubled receiver should arrive in Tennessee with a good attitude. Well, as good as he will have until they roll out the Tennessee barbecue buffet in the locker room.

CRAZY PICK of the week ... I am going with the Lions over the Jets.

IS IT me or are the only people who care about the baseball ratings -- other than the networks -- the Yankees and Red Sox fans. Like a poor rating is validation for their lousy teams not making it to the World Series.

I enjoyed the World Series, and if you did too, great. But let's face it. Baseball is somewhat terrible on television. But if we get more games like the two-hour World Series games we were getting, baseball could get back into this thing.

Of course, FOX realized it missed out on tons of ad revenue that they made because A-Rod's typical at-bats lasted as long as According to Jim, but still, people want to carve out short windows to watch games. Entertaining games that end in under three hours is not a bad way to go.

SEPARATION SATURDAY in the WAC and Mountain West. Well, sorta. Boise State will still have to tackle Nevada eventually. But Hawaii will be tough. And to be honest, I am not sure that I want my Warriors to win. This is why having a tournament without automatic conference qualifiers is lame.

The winner of Utah vs. TCU is going to land in the BCS title game. I just feel it.

AND FINALLY ...

If you voted against Prop 19, you are an awful person.

Halloween sluts are also for football fields, too

2010-11-01T23:22:00.000-07:00

Well, I am sure we've all had our fair share of "sexy" (fill in the blank) costumes for Halloween. Sexy school girl. Sexy banker. Sexy Ann Coulter. Yeah, we get it. You are allowed to dress like a slut one day out of the year.

Well, let's hear it for the gals who are making a career out of dressing like whores. NFL cheerleaders. He are some of the best photos for the weekend.

The Vikings did what?

2010-11-01T16:19:00.000-07:00

Do you suppose that Raiders general managing partner Al Davis was sitting in his silver-and-black adorned office in the Bay Area when news of Randy Moss‘ eminent departure reached him and he thought to himself, “Wow, even I would not make a move that crazy.”

Or course, that is assuming that somebody put the news on a overhead projector in his office. But still, certainly has turned the NFL on its ear on Monday. Suddenly, benching Redskins QB Donovan McNabb for Rex Grossman does not seem so strange. Like Nicolas Cage looking at that Corvette being dragged by the jailbird plane in Con Air and remarking, “On any other day, that might seem strange.”

Congratulations, Vikings. You have surpassed the Cowboys as the league's dumbest franchise. The only way you could cement this title would be to try to bring Moss back after you embarrassed him so.

Epic Fail

2010-11-01T06:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure why Fox felt obligated to keep showing us the American Presidency's answer to Banjo Kid from Deliverance last night. It was an important reminder, however, that no amount of Saudi Oil money can scrub away the stench of failure that permeates everything Bush. I have no doubt that one day historians while figure out that it was Prescott Bush's business arrangements with Hitler that ultimately doomed the German war machine. So powerful is the Bush mojo that even its refracted force was enough to doom the Plowboys. I haven't seen a group of Texans quit that fast since Appomattox. Which brings up a good point. Maybe it is time to let Texas secede. They aren't very good at baseball or football. Perhaps they could form a new country where screwing up the environment and executing the retarded are the national pastime.

The Post Mortem: Kelly deserves jail

2010-10-31T21:39:00.001-07:00

Anybody else have Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger treat their fantasy team like you were a coed in a college bar? Good lord, that was terrible. But there was plenty of crap going on in the NFL. Let's hit the lowlights.

THE DALLAS Cowboys have officially finished their season. There was some thought that QB Jon Kitna was going to lead these team on a winning streak, only to have QB Tony Romo return to ruin the whole thing. Like he always did. But Romo will not even get that chance.

THE MINNESOTA Vikings have also called it a season. How would the year have been different if that plane from Mississippi with Brett Favre in it back before the season started had flown into a building instead of going to Minnesota? The Vikings could have been playoff contenders if Tarvaris Jackson had started the season at quarterback.

THE DETROIT Lions are going to make the playoffs. I would say that the Lions were the best team in the NFC North, but the Packers did look pretty good knocking off the Jets. Wow, the Packers defense better than the Jets? That was amazing.

THE SAN Diego Chargers are not completely back. But they are closer to getting back into the race. Well, only if the Chiefs and Raiders would stop winning.

BOISE STATE continues to fall in the polls, as expected. But really, does anybody think that the teams surrounding them will continue to win? Think about it, another week and two undefeated teams fell. And more will continue to fall. Just embrace the Broncos, fools.

AND FINALLY

There was something disturbing about Notre Dame this weekend. Although, Tulsa showed a lot of class by wearing green shamrocks on its helmets.

But Notre Dame put on a pretty glowing show. Coach Brian Kelly certainly looked like he was bothered during the moment of silence for that student who was killed because of his negligence. Although, it was not hard but to notice that he seemed more distraught about losing the game.

My question, why was Kelly even coaching? We talk about NFL players returning to the field after committing rape. After running dog fighting rings. After killing pedestrians. How was this any different?

If anything, what Kelly did was worse.

Kelly put a few wins over a student's safety. And to think, Notre Dame went out and lost the game. Let's be honest. Notre Dame might not be a good fit for the bowl subdivision level. A classic FCS team if there ever was one. And they went out and killed a guy?

Coach Kelly deserves to be in jail, at the very least. Having a job is a luxury he does not deserve.

The Raiders are better than the Chargers

2010-10-25T14:34:00.000-07:00

There is a billboard on the 110 freeway that proud states Bud Light: One Nation, One Beer while proudly displaying the Raiders logo.

What is great about the sign is that both the fine folks at Anheuser-Busch and the Raiders realize who their target audience is. Sometimes you just have to admit to the truth.

And in this instance, the truth is that the Raiders are a better team than the Chargers.

The Chargers have coasted through the early portion of the season way too many times, got lazy, arrogant and what you see is exactly what this team deserves. And really, this whole notion that the Chargers play their best football in December is rather overrated, too, considering that the playoffs are in January.

There are times that the Chargers make the Raiders look like a rational organization.

The Chargers played hardball with LT Marcus McNeill, and the running game never got off the ground.

The Chargers played hardball with WR Vincent Jackson and the team is pulling guys off the practice squad to start at receiver. Although, I might give the Chargers the benefit of the doubt here because Malcom Floyd is just as good as Jackson, so it was not a huge deal, but still.

Al Davis famously played hardball with Marcus Allen, but at least Davis had three Super Bowl titles under his belt. Not that Davis was right, but you can be this bold when you have a title history.

A.J. Smith? Not so much.

But do not worry, Chargers fan. Help is on the way. Smith and Norv Turner will probably be fired this year. And Jon Gruden will come in with full control of the organization. Gruden was good poaching the Buccaneers, a team that still had Super Bowl-quality players. What is he going to do with an organization that has squandered its talent?

Some how Gruden is going to come in and make this worse.

Oh, and if you need one final kick to the junk to really put this in perspective -- the Chargers chose to hire Turner over Rex Ryan.

Awesome.

The Weak Ender: Not sure if you heard about Favre

2010-10-21T23:07:00.000-07:00

Vikings QB Brett Favre was interviewed by NFL security this week. Now what he did might be somewhat weird, but as far as NFL quarterbacks go, sending a picture of your junk is pretty tame.

Eagles QB Michael Vick had an interstate dog-fighting ring. Steelers QB Ben Roetlhisberger allegedly assaulted an underaged woman in a bar. Sending a picture of your junk is like the NFL equivalent of jaywalking.

Call us when Favre is hiding in the truck of his car trying to get away from the police after having Cowgirl killed. Because until that happens, there is no reason to even bat an eye about this situation.

Favre was sexting.

And what is amazing to note here. Favre is a grandfather. And he knows how to sext with hot broads. My grandfather cannot even work the clock on his coffee maker.

I'm not even sure my grandfather even knows how to work a cell phone. This grandfather is sexting with Cowgirl.

The truth of the matter is that the Commish is likely trying to hit up Favre for sordid details and some pointers. And maybe Cowgirl's number, too.

LETS REMEMBER back when the Cowboys and Chargers were both playoff contenders. And you know what is crazy? Neither team is likely out of this thing yet. The NFL is so watered down, until a team is officially 4-12, there is no reason to believe otherwise.

However, if I was the owner of some team looking to make a coaching change, I would love to have a staff that had Norv Turner as offensive coordinator and Wade Phillips as defensive coordinator. That would be pretty nice.

BTW TEXAS, America is rooting for you. Put the Yankees away now. You guys have smoked them throughout the series. End any chance now. Although, it will be tough because the Yankees will not have that anchor Mark Teixeira weighing them down. So there is not automatic out in the middle of the lineup anymore.

And finally ...

Seeing that I missed last week, and if the Twins are still talking to me. But realize that the next month's issue of Playboy should have a Cowgirl spread. The magazine has a ton of photos because I just got an email to join their cyber club. So expect that to be coming soon.

Diane will be so thrilled.

A fan tried to kill A-Rod ... and they stopped it?

2010-10-20T13:03:00.000-07:00

The security at Yankee Stadium needs to chill the f-out.

A deranged Yankees fan (as if there is any other kind) rushed the field at the House that Douchebags built, with the apparent intent to hurt, murder or maim Alex Rodriguez. And security stopped this?

Some how the underwear bomber made it on to a plane, yet this patriot was thrown to the turf like some schmoe. Come on guys, you need to let these things play out.

And really, with baseball ratings sagging the way they are -- with a potential Rangers vs. Giants World Series on the horizon -- the sport could use a boost that would come with the potential of A-Rod being bludgeoned at any moment.

You never root for players to get hurt -- unless it is Mark Teixeira

2010-10-19T23:24:00.001-07:00

For starters, you have to love it when bad things happen to bad people. The good news for the Yankees is that Mark Teixeira is out. The bad news is they will have to find a way to replace his .000 batting average in the lineup.

Photo of Seau's Car Going Over Cliff

2010-10-18T11:18:00.003-07:00

Really, Oklahoma?

2010-10-18T11:18:00.001-07:00

I was wondering where your dear friend WCT was in recent weeks, and then it all fell into place. Our esteemed Buckeyes fan knew his team would reach an epic FAIL at Wisconsin. Plus the impending BCS rankings were thought to have Boise State at the top. This was not going to be a good week for him.

Well cheer up. Oklahoma is at the top of the BCS standings. Although, that is not expected to last because the Sooners do not win big games. Like this week’s game with Missouri.

Oregon is also at the top, and the thought of a Ducks vs. Broncos title game is awesome, but it is not likely going to happen. Because Oregon never seems to be able to make that step to greatness.

And seeing that the SEC winner is going to have two loses, that dream of Boise State vs. TCU for the title game lives on.

But football in the groin, had a football in the groin

2010-10-14T19:40:00.000-07:00

Norv Doesn't Think Much of Tony Dungy

2010-10-11T15:38:00.000-07:00

Colts coach Tony Dungy was critical of the Chargers on Sunday night. Particularly of the Chargers' special teams. But coach Norv Turner did not really take the criticism that well.

And I quote ...

"You make a comment and you see a team from afar and I understand his comment and I can relate to him. It’s probably how he felt when his players let Darren Sproles return a punt and a kick for a touchdown here on a Sunday night game or when Peyton threw six interceptions against us. I understand we have work to do and it’s like any head coach would feel after a game like that.

Oh, and my son didn't kill himself."

Alright, Turner did not say the last line. But this was still a pretty savage beatdown of Dungy.