Thursday, May 19, 2011

The Ultimate Weak Ender: Ready for the Apocalypse?

As most of you know, the world will end on Saturday.
Since our host is preparing himself by pounding Zima tall boys and making a Norah Jones mix cd, it falls to me to post the final word here on THN.

Now, some of you may just think that doomsday predictions are the currency of the pathologically narcissistic- folks convinced on some unconscious level that, unlike the billions of human beings before them, their deaths will not be part of the ongoing cycle of life like rain returning to the sea. No, theirs will be a transformation of space and time itself. The very universe shall cease to be at the exact moment that they do. What's so conceited about that?

Others here will be quick to point out that the "Rapture" doesn't appear anywhere in the Bible. They will assert that it is a wilful misreading of lines stripped of their context performed by the theologically illiterate. A misreading designed to let the believer indulge in not only a sense of moral superiority, but the certitude that all those who think, love, or worship differently than they do will be visited with unimaginable suffering while the believer gets to watch. What could be more Christian than that? Let's see where your fancy book-learning gets you while you're bobbing for offal in a lake of molten lava, Smart Guy!

And sure some of you will assume these folks have the same level of gullibility as the ones who forward that email to 10 friends so that Mr. Gates will donate the money for little Timmy's operation. Fine, like you never sold your Rascal scooter to pay for the transfer fee on secret Nigerian government funds!

Look all I'm saying is- let's cut a deal. If you make it and I don't, can I have any beer, kerosene, firearms, porn, beans, asbestos lined undergarments, beer, shamwows, porn, Biz Markie cds, beer and porn that you leave behind? If I make it and you don't, can you drop by and feed my dogs? You can even have my copy of 2Pacalypse Now...

Friday, May 13, 2011

The Weak Ender: Sit Down. I Got This.

Alright. Since our host is currently busy trying to erase the memory of the Lakers/Mavs Game 4 by throwing back Butter Baby's and putting "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" on repeat, I'll take care of your traditional Friday post. Here's your hot sports-personality chick, SoCal's own Elita Loresca. Elita is the sports anchor on the NBC morning broadca...

WHAT?

She's not a sports anchor? You're kidding!

She's the weather girl? Well, (bleep) me! You all have my sincere apologies. I don't know how this happened. I will work on correcting this immediately...
I'm going to get right on it...

Really...

Should be fixed any minute...

A yup...

any minute now...

Thursday, May 05, 2011

The Weak Ender: Osama bin Lackey Gets His



Well I figured that most of you have found some other neighboring site that you would rather spend your time with. But for those of you who still want to hang out, here is the miss Kelly Brook just for fun.

Honestly, I have no justification for having that photo. And in the years of doing this site, I've always prided myself on having a reason or a connection for The Weak Ender girl, even if it was super flimsy.

That has changed here.

And here is the the thing. Lots is going to be changing. I promise to sort things out with this site real soon, but The Hater Nation is going to be stronger than ever.

I did, however, want to touch on what a great day it was on Thursday. The Angels finally cracked the Boston curse for the season. Rebounding from a potential heart-breaking loss to not only winning in extra innings on Wednesday night/Thursday morning, but pounding that a-hole John Lackey for everything that he is worth in the finale.

A split in Boston felt like a sweep.

It is really tough with these Boston games, the Mos Eisley of America. Losing can be bad. And being owned by say the Twins or Indians is one thing. But when it's Boston, well, it is just tough to take.

Thankfully the Angels put them away. And I am optimistic for the future of the team.

That's all for now. Thank you to those still coming by. I really do appreciate it. And if you know my real name and my real job, you know where to find me and I am writing more than ever. So look it up.

Oh hell, The Hatriot coined Osama bin Lackey, too.