As most of you know, the world will end on Saturday.
Since our host is preparing himself by pounding Zima tall boys and making a Norah Jones mix cd, it falls to me to post the final word here on THN.
Now, some of you may just think that doomsday predictions are the currency of the pathologically narcissistic- folks convinced on some unconscious level that, unlike the billions of human beings before them, their deaths will not be part of the ongoing cycle of life like rain returning to the sea. No, theirs will be a transformation of space and time itself. The very universe shall cease to be at the exact moment that they do. What's so conceited about that?
Others here will be quick to point out that the "Rapture" doesn't appear anywhere in the Bible. They will assert that it is a wilful misreading of lines stripped of their context performed by the theologically illiterate. A misreading designed to let the believer indulge in not only a sense of moral superiority, but the certitude that all those who think, love, or worship differently than they do will be visited with unimaginable suffering while the believer gets to watch. What could be more Christian than that? Let's see where your fancy book-learning gets you while you're bobbing for offal in a lake of molten lava, Smart Guy!
And sure some of you will assume these folks have the same level of gullibility as the ones who forward that email to 10 friends so that Mr. Gates will donate the money for little Timmy's operation. Fine, like you never sold your Rascal scooter to pay for the transfer fee on secret Nigerian government funds!
Look all I'm saying is- let's cut a deal. If you make it and I don't, can I have any beer, kerosene, firearms, porn, beans, asbestos lined undergarments, beer, shamwows, porn, Biz Markie cds, beer and porn that you leave behind? If I make it and you don't, can you drop by and feed my dogs? You can even have my copy of 2Pacalypse Now...