Thursday, March 31, 2011

Happy Opening Day

Happy Opening Day everybody. Honestly, how is this not a national holiday. The always entertaining Adam Rank on asked this very question today during his daily Pick Six.

Hope your team wins today ... unless you are a Yankees or Red Sox fan.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Weak Ender: (Expletive) Duke

Have I been missing something with this Taryn Manning being on Hawaii Five-0? I was never really familiar with this broad until she showed up on my doorstep nude.

You know, on the cover of Playboy.

Anybody watching that show? I am not even sure what day it's on. And it has stars on it that I like, Scott Caan, that dude who was on The Shield. Yet, I have never seen a minute of it.

Crazy, right?

I have seen plenty of promos for it during the NCAA tournament coverage. Thursday night was a really great night for hoops. San Diego State continued to prove that it cannot stop an outstanding shooter. That dude from U Conn looked like Jimmer's long lost brother as he ended the Aztec's season.

I almost feel compelled to complain about the bull(expletive) technical call that swayed the momentum in U Conn's favor. But sometimes you have to tip your cap to a team that has that kind of savvy to flop on an innocent brush of the shoulder. Heady play.

Not the kind of thing you would see from a guy like, say, Chuck Bednarik. Whom we are all wishing makes a speedy recovery. I am no Eagles fan, but Concrete Charlie is one of my favorite players of all-time. Not that I saw him play, mind you, but anybody who comes out and bashes the pansies currently playing in the NFL gets my love.

What a great guy. Salt of the Earth kind of dude who was a waist gunner on a B-24 (I believe) in World War II, successfully carrying out 30 combat mission in Germany. That seems unheard of.

So I do wish him well. And you had better, too. And if the current players really wanted to show that they cared for Charlie, they would offer to pay for his medical expenses, if he has any. That would be a great way to get some publicity and show that you are serious about caring for the older generation. rustled up a great list of quotes from Bednarik that you can read right here.

A few of my favorites:

“You’ve got to play with that killer instinct, man. You’ve got to hate that guy across from you. Then after the game is over, tell him what a nice guy he is. Shake his hand. Especially if you win.”

"The positions I played, every play, I was making contact, not like that … Deion Sanders. He couldn’t tackle my wife. He’s back there dancing out there instead of hitting.”

Boom, roasted.

Get well Charlie.

OF COURSE we haven't even talked about Duke getting pants by Arizona. Not since UNLV has a team crushed the Blue Devils so thoroughly. Well done, Wildcats.

Jake Ryan (who disappeared) pointed out that Butler is starting to out-Gonzaga Gonzaga. Butler is only one win away from consecutive Final Fours. Matt Howard always seems to make the right plays when he needs too, right?

Oh, and what a night when BYU finally getting eliminated is almost an afterthought.

Duke and BYU both eliminated, what a great night for America. The University of Arizona fans certainly seemed to think so, chanting USA-USA-USA during its victory. See, people pay attention to THN.

BTW ... Jake Ryan went four-for-four last night. Well done.

BENGALS COACH Marvin Lewis called out Chad Ochocinco this week by saying that it's typically that 85 has found another challenge he won't follow through with. And if you think about it, Lewis has a point.

But the Ocho did follow through with his pledge to go from Johnson to Ochocinco a few years back, so it is hard to label him a commitmentophobe.

Attention whore would be more succinct.

THE TAMPA Bay Buccaneers have been rumored to be the next team on Hard Knocks, and provided a list of possible alternatives right here.

A couple of my favorites.


Compelling storyline: New coach Jim Harbaugh calls out Seahawks coach Pete Carroll, and says the 49ers have the talent to compete for the Pac-10 title. When pressed by reporters if he means NFC West, Harbaugh says, “No, I am talking about the stronger conference right now.”

Potential breakout star: QB Alex Smith. Oh wait, we’ve been waiting for this since 2005. We haven’t waited this long for a failed experiment since Guns-n-Roses’ “Chinese Democracy.”


Compelling storyline: This is a tough one because remaking a popular series from the 1970s into TV shows has recently failed, just look at Hawaii Five-0. But even their press conferences are more interesting than most teams in general. Seriously, why hasn’t this happened yet?

Potential breakout star: Al Davis‘ overhead projector.

Actually, the correct answer for potential breakout star for the Raiders is Al Davis' untreated syphilis.

What, too soon?

Seriously though. How is Davis fine but Mr. Bednarik fighting for his life in a hospital?


Sorry if the words are outdated. I got caught, didn't figure that Duke would be gone so soon. I am recording this song one year.

The Hater Nation is proud to welcome back Pete Gillen to lead us in song once again now that Duke has been eliminated.

Many of you may remember me, Pete Gillen, the former head coach, of the University of Virginia’s men’s basketball team. If not, you will recall, that I am a very emotional leader, and my New England voice sounds, just like, President John F. Kennedy, his brotha, and Mayor Quimby from, the television program, The Simpsons, combined.

With Mahch Madness set to begeen, I am here today, to tell you of the greatness, that is Dook Univahrsity, men’s basketball. It is hard not to know about Dook in Mahch. As I told, radio personality Jim Rome a few yeahs ago, Dook is Dook. They’re on TV more, than reruns of Leave it to Beavahhhhh… reruns.

Now, in an attempt to stay relevant, since the Beavah’s show hasn’t been in steady reruns for at least 20 years, I will bring to you an original song of mine, sung to the tune, of another current, popular number, Sir Paul McCartney’s, Hey Jude:

Hey Dook, don't feel so bad.
Take a bad bracket and make it bettah.
Remember to get off to a slow start,
Against a team that is the Play-In winnah.

Hey Dook, don't be afraid.
The brackets were made so you’d play no one bettah.
The minute you play a Top 25 team,
You’ll pray for Christian Laettnah.

And anytime you feel the pain, hey Dook, refrain
Stop shooting the ball from upon your shoulders
For welll you know that you're gonna loose yah cool
By making Irving's shooting a little colder

Hey Dook, don’t be ashamed
You get all the calls, but its for the bettah
But, despite of all of the help
You have no chance of beating the Tiguhs!

Hey Dook, don’t cut those nets down.
Try to survive in the tourney, like an 11th-seedah.
Remembah to let the refs and bracket committee into your heart,
As well as your coach, with a name with too many f-ing leddahs.

So find a ditch, and like Hurley, drive right on in
So they see that Singler ain’t no Laettnah.
And don't you know that it's just you, hey Dook, you'll do,
Youh on TV mohr than Leave it to Beavahhhhhh.

Hey Dook, don't feel bad.
At least Seth Greenberg didn’t make it, eithah.
Remember it’s not the color of your skin,
It’s hard to win without players like Battiah, Boozah and
Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, Laettnah, oh!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa, (expletive) DOOK!


Na Na Na Naaaaah Na Na Naaaaaaah
(expletive) DOOK!!!


Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa,
(expletive) DOOK...

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa,
(expletive) DOOK...

Alirght, just the ACC fans now!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa,
(expletive) DOOK...

Alright, just the Arizona fans now!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa,
(expletive) DOOK...

Everybody together!

Nah Nah Nah Na Na Na, Naaaa… Nah Nah, Nah, Naaaa,
(expletive) DOOK...

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Post Mortem: The Big What?

Congratulations to Notre Dame for putting the exclamation point on what had to be considered an utterly embarrassing tournament start for the Big East. Only two teams survived to the Sweet 16, and the only reason that happened was because the bracket paired up Big East teams, ensuring that somebody had to make it from the most overrated conference in America.

You splinter off a few of those teams (not easy to do with 11 qualifiers) and you are looking at no Big East representation. Outstanding.

Charles Barkley has helped make this the greatest tournament so far in history. The NCAA, CBS, Viacom finally made the right call by discontinuing the DirecTV tournament pass (seriously, why are sports league keep this failed experiment in satellite afloat?) and putting all of the games on broadcast television.

Hey, did you hear that NFL? While you dicks were busy pissing and moaning about your billions of play money, one sports entity and broadcast partner was getting it right. Could you imagine CBS putting morning games on four different networks, and FOX doing the same? That would be horrible to allow the public to watch the games that they want to see.

But I digress, this is about Barkley at the moment.

The best moment of the tournament so far came during a studio moment when Barkley was running down the Big East with Rick Pitino on the set. Pitino looked as if one of his one-night stands had walked on the set to tell him that she was pregnant and needed money for an abortion.

Pitino went on to say that Notre Dame would not lose to Florida State (uh, o.k.), and the Big East would have two teams in the Final Four.

Not happening.

By the same token, does anybody remember when the media was crying because VCU was given a chance to be in the tournament? I hate to say it, but the NCAA got it right here. Funny, strange things like that can happen you actually decide to settle things on the field.

Another great part of the tournament was that most of the anxiety teams were eliminated. We were a few clutch shots from Michigan away from getting rid of all of the axis of evil teams. As only Duke remains.

And if I may take a moment to say this, I am so glad that we found a way to give both Duke and North Carolina home games during the first rounds of the tournament. Remember those harrowing times when one of those teams were sent out of Greensboro? Awful. Now the referees have a chance to be intimidated by two fan bases, and not just one.

And trust me, a current college referee once confided to me that they do get swayed by the home crowd.

Ohio State also got a home game, too, to be fair. But come on, they lost LeBron James publicly, so I will give them a pass.

The referees also warrant some discussion here. And this needs to be said, how soon are we going to have the players call their own fouls? Being a basketball referee is the most impossible job imaginable. You would have a better chance making the Napa "know how" song a top hit.

(A quick aside, can we just cut to the chase and have Alicia Keys sing the Napa song and get it over with?)

Here is what I would say, just swallow your whistle in the case of Butler vs. Pittsburgh. If the referees didn't call a foul in the final two seconds, the game has the same result, yet your integrity remains intact.

Nobody wants to see a five-second violation. Especially after you only counted to four.

And for (expletive) sake, Washington was not fouled in the first half? It wasn't like the Huskies weren't driving to the basket. Ten fouls to two? Again, this is why teams should not get home games in the tournament.

OUR MAN from the Insomniac's Lounge with the seedings of the teams that have eliminated the Big East: 13, 11, 11, 11, 10, 8, 8, 4, 3.

WHAT ARE the odds that Jim Nantz even watched ESPN's documentary on the Fab 5? All he heard was that somebody took a shot at Duke (listen to him, he had no idea what he was talking about), and he wanted to speak out.

Nantz is fighting Mike Patrick to be the Joesph Goebbels of Duke. Nantz and Patrick likely argue over what Coach Kryzgfhfvcbnmdfghjrtyski's taint tastes like.


Whitney Cummings is hot, right?

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Weak Ender: Huge Upset

There is always a bit of disappointment when Utah State gets knocked out of the tournament, but only for the reasons stated above. And speaking of upsets, this is the first time that I have failed to fill out a tournament bracket since I was in grade school. It feels kind of nice, too. I thought that I would really miss it, but to be honest, it doesn't matter much to me at all.

Now I can just enjoy it when teams like Louisville and Vanderbilt get knocked off. Not to mention, St. John's too. Honestly, there is nothing better than watching the Big East teams get knocked around a little bit. I think we have come to the point where we don't need 11 teams from one conference in the tournament.

Although, those teams do a good job of playing the spoiler and giving us somebody to root against.

Oh, thank you for stopping by UC Santa Barbara. The Big West sucks.

BYU managed to sneak by without really being hurt by the honor code. But Gonzaga has a chance to be America's darlings again when it takes on the Cougars.

Sorry to cut it short, but the games are starting again.

GRANT HILL responded to the Fab Five, after the Duke standout was called a (female dog) and Uncle Tom during the ESPN documentary. Hill took to the New York Times to offer a rebuttal.

The money shot ...

It was a sad and somewhat pathetic turn of events, therefore, to see friends narrating this interesting documentary about their moment in time and calling me a bitch and worse, calling all black players at Duke “Uncle Toms” and, to some degree, disparaging my parents for their education, work ethic and commitment to each other and to me. I should have guessed there was something regrettable in the documentary when I received a Twitter apology from Jalen before its premiere. I am aware Jalen has gone to some length to explain his remarks about my family in numerous interviews, so I believe he has some admiration for them.

Way to go, Grant. Way to fight the image of being an Uncle Tom by going to the New York Times. You showed them. Just kidding.

I get that Hill was pissed off. I am sure that he's heard this kind of stuff for years.

However, I really don't think that Hill really got Jalen Rose's point.

Rose was very honest saying that he was bitter because like Hill, his father was a famous professional athlete. But Rose did not have a relationship with his father. Rose made the point that his mother had to take numerous jobs to make ends meet. Hill's mother was a college roommate of Hilary Rodham. Rose's point about Duke not recruiting inner-city kids can be debated, I guess, I really have no idea.

But I thought that Rose was really just explaining why he had a resentment for Hill and Duke. I thought it was an honest look. I didn't believe that Rose still felt that way, and subsequent interviews proved that to be the case, but he was just talking about his feelings he had at the time.

I thought it was a great glimpse into the mind of a young, black athlete and I hope those voices are given more of a forum, and not suppressed because it might be viewed as politically incorrect.


WR Randy Moss has become a stalker of the Patriots. The dude has not stopped talking about the Patriots since he was traded by the team last year.

Hey Randy, that girl at the bar you have been hitting on? She left like 20 minutes ago.

It's time to move on.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Just Fabulous

The Monday after selection Sunday brings about one of the greatest traditions in sports. No, not filling out your March Madness bracket. No, the greatest tradition in sports is figuring out which school was jobbed out of an NCAA berth.

Now that, my friends, is fun.

Colorado, congratulations, you are this year's school that should be there. Not that it will be much consolation, but Colorado would likely get bounced early, so what are you really missing out on?

Although, watching San Diego State get a No. 2 seed, does anybody think that the Pac-10 made a mistake taking Colorado over SDSU? The Aztecs have the better football program, the better baseball program and no doubt a better baseball program.

I am sure there is some sort of academic interest of taking Colorado, but when Arizona State is part of your conference, you cannot be too high brow.

The Aztecs will just have to console themselves with a trip to the Final Four.

Speaking of SDSU, Marshall Faulk was interviewed during the Mountain West championship game by Lindsay Soto -- co-workers over at NFL Network -- and she said that Marshall was the most famous SDSU alumni. And Marshall kind of shook his head like, yeah, that's right.

Uh, have the two of you heard of Tony Gwynn? The announcers were quick to talk about Gwynn and Michael Cage (not that he's in the class of the previous two), but come on. I'll forgive Lindsay because, well, just look at her.

But Marshall should know better.

MORE TOURNAMENT talk will happen later this week, along with an invitation to the bracket.


If you missed ESPN's documentary on the Fab Five, do yourself a favor and watch this thing. The whole 30-for-30 has swung and missed on some great ideas like the Raiders in Los Angeles and the USFL.

This was the best I have seen of the series.

I dug the Fab Five when it burst on the scene in the 1990s. Although, I grew to dislike Chris Webber over the years. Probably because he was a Sacramento King. But Jalen Rose comes off great. All of those who participated really did (Webber declined).

Rose, though, really drove it home.

There is nothing I can say that will do it justice. So I will just again encourage you to check it out.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Weak Ender: Women ain't cheap

I am starting to get upset with the producers of V or whomever is telling Laura Vandervoort that she needs to lose weight. Because she was absolutely lovely as Supergirl, but is becoming way too skinny on V.

Is she trying to make her face look more reptilian?

Are girls striving for that Charlie Sheen chic look?

Because it's working. You already made Anna go with the Annie Lennox look, and now you are making Laura way, way too skinny. Not cool at all.

SPEAKING OF young ladies, Tiki Barber is learning the hard way that young (female dogs) aren't easy. Or cheap. Barber's bad life choices have led him to seek a return to the NFL and the millions he walked away from when he was in his prime.

Barber's personal problems are of public record, but I could not help but be tickled one when commenter on one of the sports boards opined, "We don't know what Tiki's wife was like, so we shouldn't judge."

And you have a point, slick. For all we know, Ginny could have been a horrendous shrew who got what was coming to her. But we don't know that.

What I do know, is that she was eight months pregnant with twins when he started shacking up with some college coed. You might want to walk out on your wife, but on twins? Nah, there is no justification for what he did. And simply, he's a douche bag. There is no excuse to walk out on your twins like that.

But this story will have a happy ending. The best result would be for a team to take a chance on Tiki and one of his teammates decides to order the code red on his ass during training camp. That would be the best possible scenario.

The likely scenario is that he will get a sniff, but will be cut before training camp even starts.

And another scenario, though unlikely, would be for Tiki to return, have a great season and have his team win the Super Bowl. How is this a great outcome you ask?

Well if Tiki does well and gets all of the accolades, the whore who would cheat on a married man expecting twins will likely get dumped for a younger, hotter model.

Personally, I'm holding out for Tiki to crash into a tanker carrying Magic Johnson's blood, which he consumes through an open gash on his balls.

That's just me.

THE LAKERS may have lost on Thursday night, but at least nobody is crying about it. Hey TNT, though, playing that game on a weeknight in the afternoon, that seems like smart planning.

ANYBODY USING the Youtube to MP3 adapter for free? It's the tops.


Looks like the NFL is going forward with the lockout, barring some sort of miracle. I think you would have a better chance of getting Bud Grant to smile at a blackjack table after some plopper just split a pair of 10s on a bad count deck.

And to be honest, this is exactly what the NFL owners wanted when they originally hired Opie way back when. The power brokers like Jerry Jones, Robert Kraft and Jerry Richardson want to break the union. If you don't think Richardson is serious, realize that he fired his two boys.

The NFL owners envy the financial setup of Major League Baseball. Jones and Kraft, in particular, own the Yankees and Red Sox of the NFL, so they see how much money they are missing out on by having to share with some of the smaller markets.

Anybody who witnessed Jones trying to put seats into every crevice of Cowboys stadium, this guy loves his money. And you can bet that he cringed at the thought of two small-market teams playing in the Super Bowl made his stomach churn.

These guys are going to do everything in their power to break the union, make more money and try to widen the divide between the upper crust teams and the small-market teams that just get by.

That's been Jones plan ever since he came to the NFL in 1989, and now he has a commissioner in his pocket who will help him achieve that goal.

This mess is going to get bloody, and even though the league lost out trying to swindle that extra money on a TV deal, the owners will win out because the players are dopes.

The owners have the money and that whole 18-game nonsense was a stroke of genius because they already have the players on the run, bargaining against something they didn't want in the first place.

It is so underhanded that you almost have to admire them. But at the end of the day, they are going to cost people jobs and that blows. Though, it does seem to be the American way -- making conditions as brutal as possible, keep a few rich, and make sure nobody has health care. Yep, that's America.

And I'm pissed.

Monday, March 07, 2011

Tom Zbikowski: Pipe it

Tom Zbikowski announced today that he wants to fight Chad Ochocinco. And almost immediately America said, "Who the hell is Tom Zbikowski?"


Apparently Zbikowski plays for the Ravens. He's a safety. And he hasn't murdered anybody so he quickly falls down the list of Ravens I would have ever heard of. He has a website (but anybody can get one of those). Zbikowski has started 14 games in his three seasons in the NFL.

Alright, I am already bored with this guy.

Not surprisingly, news of this challenge came as Zbikowski prepares for his fight on Saturday. Well that is convienient. Zbikowski even invited Ochocinco to be a guest at his latest fight. Good lord, could you try harder dude? Did the mowhawk thing not work out for you previously and this is what you have resorted to?

This guy is a douche.

I might not always find Ochocinco to be entertaining, but at least he's in the main event. People have heard of him. Guys barely above the practice squad should probably refrain from calling out guys who actually make a living playing in the NFL. This ploy for attention is weak, but probably fitting for a guy who plays for the Ravens.

Let me know when Ochocinco is challenged by an actual NFL player.

Not a good look for a man

You never thought it would happen to a guy like Tom Brady, but he’s officially reached his midlife crisis. You would think that a supermodel wife and three Super Bowl rings would prevent that. His new ponytail says otherwise (thank you, Sports Grid).

Although, you probably should blame David Beckham's influence for this after the two hung out last summer. Thanks a lot, Beckham. Not only have you failed to make soccer any more popular here in the States, you have turned one of our nation's heroes into a ponytail guy.

And really, that barely classifies as a ponytail, too.

That thing -- I guess I will concede and call it a ponytail -- looks like the kind of ponytail that you would see from that guy with the receding, horseshoe-hairstyle who is trying to cling to his fleeting moments of vitality. Trust me, I can identify with the feeling.

But the ponytail is the wrong way to go about it. Do you think Hugh Jackman would sport a ponytail? Hell no. Get a new car, Tom. Wear a Hawaiian shirt to work. Maybe win a playoff game. Anything but the ponytail.

Although, in fairness, it's still cooler than Peyton Manning's hair.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

The Weak Ender: BYU would not approve of Merriman

Well, I guess we can't blame Shawne Merriman for making an ass out of himself for chasing around WWF divas such as Maryse Ouellet. But we can blame me for not saving it for The Weak Ender.

Now I am expecting an email or text from Mark D. telling me that the TWE chick should have been the Bella Twins.

Yep, that was a pretty flimsy opening. But this is what I get for getting a jump on the news.

THE JETS released Vernon Gholston this week, and the Raiders let go of Robert Gallery, parting ways with two of the biggest busts in the team's respective histories. But who has had the worst luck drafting players?

The Jets have Gholston, Johnny Lam Jones and Blair Thomas. The Raiders -- and just looking at quarterbacks -- have had Todd Marinovich, Marc Wilson and JaMarcus Russell. This one isn't even close, right?

The Jets get made fun of during that ESPN montage during the draft, but the Raiders have really struggled with the draft picks. Here is something that will make you sick. From 1985-87, the Raiders passed on Bernie Kosar, Earnest Givins and Bruce Matthews. Of course, hindsight is always perfect and you never know how those guys would have done with the Raiders, but it's always fun to speculate.

One you can't dismiss, though, is when the Raiders picked Marinovich, the Falcons drafted a quarterback nine picks later. You might have heard of him, his name was Brett Favre.

Man, he would have been the perfect Raider.

MOTLEY CRUE and Poison will be together again for a first time this summer in what promises to be a pretty awesome tour. My only regret is that I am unable to grow some air out in order to spray some Aqua Net into it.


This is going to be a fairly lengthy rant against the Mormon church. If you are easily offended, or just don't want to put up with my (expletive), that's understandable. You are free to keep it light here. And really, I try to keep politics out of it for the most part. But I have to say this. And if you know me, and who I have lost in this world, you will understand where I am coming from.

BYU made a big statement with its honor code this week, suspending center Brandon Davies for knocking up his girlfriend. Imagine that, a center getting booted off the team for penetrating the hole.

Well, at least we won't have to worry about the Cougars making a run in the NCAA tournament now.

BYU and the Mormon religion has taken a beating this week. And why not, it's fun to bash those whose opinion differs from our own. Especially when they are against the very things we hold dear such as boozing, (expletive), and fighting. So we should castigate those who want to live differently than us and have different value systems.

Although, I fail to give any sympathy for the Mormon church because it was the LDS who funded Proposition 8 in California. So while all of the Jimmer fanatics cry about those of us who continue to make fun of their honor code, know you know those consenting adults -- who you don't want to get married -- feel.

Actually, you don't. You see, the Mormons are free to practice their beliefs and even have a school that oppresses the future Planned Parenthood bombers of America. Those Mormons will go to church on Sunday, give 10 percent of their earnings to ensure that some consenting adults in this country are not free to practice their beliefs.

And that is the difference.

It is times like this, when BYU is a laughing stock that I can really feel God's love and know that he's on our side.

Sorry for the soap box, but it's something that I feel strongly about. And having the BYU basketball team lose a few games won't make up for the hatred and fear that the Mormon church has propagated over the years. But for a brief time it will certainly make me feel a little bit better.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

He's just better than you

Bills LB Shawne Merriman got into a Twitter war with WWF Superstar CM Punk recently over an incident that happened pool side in Costa Rica. The news of this ‘tweef’ came as a big shock to everybody because most did not realize that Merriman was still in the league.

Really, did you know Merriman was still playing?

The gist was that Merriman apparently tried to rush some of the WWF divas, was rebuffed, and Punk called him out on it. Then the name-calling ensued. Hey, the Bills suck in the Super Bowl. ... You are a wrestler? I thought you were the pool boy. And it was kind of hilarious.

The whole thing between Merriman and Punk was rather disappointing. I understand that sometimes an athlete feels like he is being disrespected. That he has to respond when called out in public. But this is a case where you should be the bigger man. To walk away. As Gunny Highway once said to Profile after being punished by Major Powers in the classic Heartbreak Ridge, “Don’t give the prick the satisfaction.”

So come on Punk, what is the matter with you? Why are you even condescending to talk to Merriman? Punk you are the top of the card in the WWF, the best thing in professional wrestling. Why are you talking to a guy who is the Zack Ryder of the NFL?

If Tila Tequila can fend off Merriman’s advances, do you think that the WWF Divas really need your help?

And think of that for a moment, Merriman went from Pro Bowl LB to jobbing to Tequila to now being embarrassed on Twitter abroad. And let’s not overlook the delicious irony of the WWF’s straight edge superstar laying the smack down on the NFL’s most notorious steroid abuser not named Brian Cushing.

CM Punk likes to tell WWF audiences that he is better than they are. I wish he would have exercised that restraint in this instance.