Monday, January 17, 2011

The Post Mortem: I am sorry

The Hater Nation has always endorsed the Patriots and Patron Saint Tom Brady. So there is a bit of sadness to see the Patriots fall in the AFC divisional playoffs.

But when Boston loses, America wins. So hurray!

USA! USA! USA! America!

But there are a few apologies that I need to get out of the way before we move on.

To Dr. Doug and his brother Mark: I am sorry for picking the Seahawks to win. The Bears seem rather shaky as any team with QB Jay Cutler and offensive coordinator Mike Martz can be. Yet, this team continues to win at every turn. Even this week, the football world will be celebrating the Packers, even picking Green Bay to take the NFC title.

To the Jets: Nobody thought you guys could back up the talk. Especially after the football world watch the Patriots wax the Jets in the most recent matchup. But for the second consecutive season, you have advanced to the AFC Championship Game with one of the worst quarterbacks in the NFL. You are an inspiration to crappy quarterbacks with awesome hair. No wonder Matt Leinart still thinks he can still win in this league.

To Gomer: For years, I have said that you were not in Brady’s class. Turns out, that Brady is quickly joining your class for regular-season excellence followed by playoff futility. And seriously Tom, why were you covering up your hair? You have to let those locks go, my friend.

To Rex Ryan: You keep winning, Rex, and the football world will be kissing your feet.

The AP basketball pollsters: For I gave you way too much credit thinking that you would put undefeated San Diego State ahead of Duke. No such luck. You guys are complete (expletive) morons.

The Bears and Packers: Most people are talking about the Steelers being close to winning a record seventh Super Bowl, while most people ignore the fact that the Packers (12) and Bears (9) have won the most NFL titles. IF only I was in a position to make this known.

Matt Flacco and Joe Ryan: Or is it Matt Ryan and Joe Flacco? Sorry guys, we have expected too much out of you because of the success of Ben Roethlisberger and Mark Sanchez. But your defenses are not good enough to carry you guys, and there comes a time when you have to win a game. You just are not there yet. There may come a time. Soon. But you are not ready right now.

AND FINALLY …

If the Jets are eliminated, I am cool with any of these three other teams winning the Super Bowl.

5 comments:

Seitz said...

Yeah, well, you don't live in Chicago surrounded by Bears fans. Go Anyone-But-The-Bears!

Robbie said...

I want the Jets to win so LT can get a ring before A.J. Smith.

buckyor said...

America is rooting for the Green Bay Packers. Baby Doc Duvalier returned to root for the Chicago Bears.

Diane said...

I jumped on the Packers bandwagon in week one. Gonna ride this baby (and by "baby," I mean Clay Matthews), to the Super Bowl.

Bain said...

Even Grampa Creepy is on the Packwagon. That's got to provide a little warmth to Brad Childress, though not as much as the steel drum bonfire he shares with the other hobos.