Thursday, December 16, 2010

The Weak Ender: Chargers moving closer

There was a lot of feedback about Reese Witherspoon last week. Not a lot of it was good. Maybe Olivia Munn will be a little bit better. And I bring her up because she's in a new show on NBC this fall. Perfect Couples. Looks delightful.

THE CHARGERS might just get away with this after all. The Chargers defeated the 49ers -- the last possible loss on the schedule -- and should slide into the top of the AFC West at 10-6. The Chiefs are going to struggle with QB Matt Cassel doing the old man shuffle following an appendectomy.

What would even be better would be for the Chargers to finish 10-6, and the Jets to lose out the rest of the season to finish 9-7 and miss the playoffs, showing that the AFC West is not as dog (expletive) as everybody is led to believe.

Not that I believe that can happen, though.

THE VIKINGS will be playing outdoors (maybe) on Monday Night Football. But if the University of Minnesota's stadium is not ready in time, Lucas Oil Field will be the backup option.

Now some of you believe that this is football as it should be. Out in the elements. Let me ask you then, do you have indoor plumbing? Do you use the internet? An iPod? I only ask because why is some technology good and others are not? If we have evolved as a species to where retractable roofs are possible, why not use that technology?

Do you not use Novocain when you go to the dentist?

Maybe I'm bitter thinking about the number of Super Bowls the Rams could have gone to if the Vikings were playing in an indoor stadium? Or how different the 2009 ALCS could have been if the Yankees had a retractable roof over the new stadium?

But the Vikings are going to give it a go. A Monday night game in the snow with no booze. That sounds like a great time. NFL games are boring live anyway, this should make it worse.

And speaking of indoor stadiums, AEG released its plans for a downtown LA Stadium. Yep, retractable roof in Los Angeles. And it is downtown. Uh, have you ever tried to move around LA Live during a Lakers game? The Lakers/Kings draw around 20,000 fans. A football game could draw 70,000 people.

Good luck with all of that.

And why bother putting a stadium downtown, trying to bring in the transplant fans. All of the real fans live in the burbs. Out where the City of Industry stadium would be built. Listen, the Galaxy play in Carson. LA's NASCAR track is in Fontana. Lets' put the stadium out in the City of Industry.

I mean this is what LA needs, competing stadium bids again. And then the downtown LA stadium will never get built. Ed Roski will grow frustrated -- even though he has all of the environmental impact reports done -- and nothing will happen.


And seriously, Minnesota, no booze at a football game? That's lame.

IS IT fair to say that Cooper Manning is the Khloe Kardashian of the NFL?

JAGUARS COACH Jack Del Rio accused the Raiders of taking some liberties with his players (via FanHouse). Hard to believe that a team led by coach Tom Cable, probably best known for breaking the jaw of an assistant coach, would be taking liberties with anybody.

HEY CELTICS, way to overreact to a regular-season win over the Knicks. You guys are worthless. And about to be irrelevant now that Miami is playing much better.


THERE WAS a time when the sidelines were like those exclusive men's clubs. Where a man could put on a nice suit, enjoy a smoke and call a football game. Now, the sidelines have been overrun with television cameras, cheerleaders and hanger ons that always seem to get in the way.

Right, Sal Alosi?

The Jets strength and conditioning coach was fined and suspended for tripping Dolphins CB Nolan Carroll. And that brings to mind the notion that while the sidelines have become increasingly crowded, only the players and officials should be allowed on the field. Everybody else should be well behind the sidelines.

And if you don't believe me, just ask former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes, the Stanford band and that bird that flew into Randy Johnson's fastball.

But even then, here are six things that need to be kept off the sidelines.

6. Practical jokes. Bills RB Thurman Thomas was one of the best running backs of his era. But will likely be remembered for losing his helmet prior to the start of Super Bowl (roman numerals). DE Bruce Smith admitted during his Hall of Fame speech that he did indeed hide Thomas' helmet. How did the Bills manage to lose four consecutive Super Bowls?

5. Fans. Ask a football fan who Mike Curtis is, and most will not remember him. Show them this video, and then everybody remembers him. That is probably the best take down of a fan, until this poor bastard was taken down during the Bengals vs. Packers game in 2005. And no, that was not former Packers QB T.J. Rubley.

Or was it?

4. Gatorade. Sure, players need to hydrated during the games. But the act of dumping Gatorade on the winning coach has become so trite, the players have lost the privileged.

3. Snow balls. 49ers kicker Ray Wersching was lined up to kick a field goal in the second quarter during a Monday night game at Denver, but a fan launched a snowball on to the field which caused QB Matt Cavanaugh to bobble the snap. The Broncos' Rich Karlis hit a 24-yard field goal to win the game. Giants fans almost cost their team a victory when they pelted the Chargers sidelines in 1995. But they did cause an injury to Chargers equipment manager Sid Brooks.

2a. Snow plow. In 1982, Patriots coach Ron Meyer ordered snowplow operator Mark Henderson to clear a spot for K John Smith to kick the winning field goal. Hey, that totally seems legal, right?

2b. Visors. Remember how ridiculous Jon Gruden looked during the Tuck Rule game? I guess this goes to show, funny stuff happens when New England plays in the snow.

And great, no retractable roof for them. Though it did work out in the Tuck Rule game.

1. Video cameras. Trust me on this one.


Bain said...

And no, that was not former Packers QB T.J. Rubley.

Okay, this goes straight to the front of the line for nominations for Best Played Obscure THN Reset of 2010.

THN said...

Thank you, thank you. That almost made it to my day job, but it was cut down at the last moment.

buckyor said...

TJ Rubley? Those are fighting words.

Tim Tebow said...

San Diego can lick my taint

Your Boy said...

James Harrison also got fined for this hit: