Thursday, August 19, 2010

The WEak Ender: Brett Makes Us Feel Dirty




ESPN sideline reporter Jenn Brown has been linked to Gomer's ex- Kenny Chesney, at least according to published photos (via Sports By Brooks). Now the surprising thing here is not that Chesney was seen with a woman -- come on, that is too easy.

Rather, Chesney is actually taller than a woman.

Flimsy? Sure.

Is WCT going to call it gratuitous? You bet.

But lets move on.

THIS WAS my favorite story of the week. Well, at least my favorite story that did not involve Brett Favre. Two women in Paris have been working as a team, knocking of local ATMs. But here is the kicker. The duo wait for an unsuspecting man to enter his pin code into an ATM, and at that time, one of the women jumps out and flashes her breasts, while the other broad unloads the man’s ATM account.

Or at least what his daily limit is.

So this is kind of like what they do at a strip club, just you do not have to buy them a drink.

Here is one of the questions I have. How does this work in a country where they have topless beaches? And I thought it was customary in France to have casual sex on the first meeting. So merely flashing some bare breasts does not seem like enough to distract a guy.

The whole story seems fishy. And then you find out that the girls were 14-years old, and it makes you dirty. But not as dirty as Favre saying that he is coming back for one last chance to win a Super Bowl.

Dude, have you not blown enough chances during your 19-year career? You want to kick your teammates in the junk one more time? I thought you were supposed to be cool. You did enough damage and gave false hope last year.

The real story has to be the money, right? Favre is reportedly going to get an extra $20 million for this gig. And to think, Favre did not even have Jared Allen flash and distract us.

VIKINGS WR Percy Harvin collapsed and was rushed to the hospital on Thursday. Drama queen. Me thinks somebody was a little jealous of all of the coverage that Favre was getting.

YOU KNOW people are bored with baseball when the biggest news on Thursday was Wes Welker running around before the game against the Falcons. The Twitter universe was buzzing, making me wish for a world much like what was promised in the final scenes of Escape from LA.

FORMER COLTS coach Tony Dungy said that he was put off by Jets coach Rex Ryan’s colorful language during Hard Knocks. So the homophobic Dungy is scared of the f word?

Maybe Ryan should have told Dungy, hey, at least I did not go on Costa Live in 2007 and said that I would berate a gay player and try to convert him.

Because as we all know, trying to make a gay person straight often leads to suicide. Just saying.
Dungy has shown enough bigotry in the gay rights era that he might want to take a step off his high horse.

IN WHAT could only be viewed as one of the most surprising developments of the summer, former Cowboys and Dolphins coach Jimmy Johnson went a month without hairspray. Johnson, you may remember, was a contestant on Survivor 21: Nicaragua.

Johnson joined ESPN 1080 in Orlando with Marc Daniels and Jerry Greene to talk about the ordeal (via Sports Radio Interviews).

“We had no hair spray, had no combs, didn’t have a mirror so I have no idea what it’s going to look like,” Johnson said. “We didn’t even have a toothbrush. I cut off a little piece of palm frond to scrape the tartar off my teeth. We had nothing. I had the shirt on my back, a pair of shorts, a pair of shoes and that was it. I got a bathing suit my third day, so I couldn’t even change out of wet clothes and wet shoes.”

Johnson said that it was an adventure and tougher than he imagined but he was glad that he did it. Which, incidentally, sounds like what he would probably say about coaching the Cowboys.

Johnson also talked about another popular reality series — Favre Watch. Johnson said that he could not have dealt with a situation like Favre and the Vikings. And I would imagine that former Dolphins QB Dan Marino would concur.

“I’m really uncomfortable with that,” Johnson said. “I’ve always been a team-oriented guy. Having said that, without question, Minnesota’s a better team with Brett Favre. But who’s to say if he’s going to have the magical season this year that he had last year? Who’s to say if that ankle is going to be 100 percent? I don’t think it is right now. And you sacrifice so much of the team concept when you make so many concessions for one player. It’s almost like he’s the savior and if he doesn’t carry us to the promise land, then the rest of them aren’t going to be able to do it. Some of the other players have to be saying, ‘What about me?’”

Yeah, Favre was totally acting like some reality TV show diva.

WITH ALL due respect to Pete Townshend and the Who, I won’t be fooled again when it comes to Darren McFadden. A perennial names on the, “No, this is his year to breakout” list. McFadden has had more stops and starts than your average Christian Slater television pilot.

McFadden has been all promise and practically no delivery during his time with the Raiders. Things do not appear to be changing this year. McFadden has missed his 10th consecutive practice though he insists it is not a big deal.

“At this point, it’s something I just need to take care of just so I don’t have to deal with it all season,” McFadden said. “So I’d rather get it healthy now, and then it won’t bother me all season.”

Well, I will get on my knees and pray, that we won’t get fooled again. But come on, this guy just sucks.

And Finally …
There is a lot of opposition to a proposed Muslim neighborhood center just blocks from Ground Zero. In fact, I have not seen opposition this intense since they tried to build that Benehana’s at Pearl Harbor.

9 comments:

R.J. said...

I gave up on McFadden last season and I've always believed Michael Bush was the every down back the Raiders have needed for years.

And the first thing I thought of with Kenny Chesney was "nice beard".

Diane said...

Why is she wearing a strapless, orange potato sack in a football stadium?

THN said...

It could be worse, it could be Takini.

kStew said...

I hit it.

Rikishi! said...

It could be worse, it could be Takini.

It could be worse, it could be Rikishi!

WCT said...

gratuitous

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