Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: New York Jets

Anybody can pick winners. We at The Hater Nation like to predict the losers. And last year, who could match our accuracy? The Hater Nation went 31 for 32 in picking teams that would not win the Super Bowl. If you read through the lines, too, you would have saw that we were secretly picking the Saints to take the whole thing.

So here is the 2010 Super Bowl Buzz Kill. A feature so awesome, those (expletives) at Deadspin have blatantly ripped it off.

Why your team will not win the Super Bowl: New York Jets

Does anybody remember Major League 2? The Indians won their division, flamed out in the playoffs, but returned the next year like they were big shots. Willie Mays Hayes fancied himself a power hitter. Ricky Vaughn shed his 'bad boy' image. The team went Hollywood.

I hope you can see the parallels with this year's version of the New York Jets.

The Jets will appear on HBO's Hard Knocks. Rex Ryan had cosmetic surgery to go from like 500 pounds to merely 350. And QB Mark Sanchez, well, he has always been a little (or a lot) Hollywood.

Everybody makes a big deal about the Jets moves this offseason. The team acquired Santonio Holmes from the Steelers. Wonderful move. Holmes will start the season suspended for being a knucklehead.

But the team acquired Antonio Cromartie and LaDainian Tomlinson. And they have a point here. Both players helped the Jets reach the AFC Championship Game last year. Though they were members of the Chargers at the time.

Cromartie has been one big headache and cannot seem to keep it in his pants. Tomlinson's best days are clearly behind him. And then he decided to leave town by throwing his offensive line under the bus -- which was very Gomer-like of him.

But consider this about the Chargers offensive line. Tomlinson had 24 yards on 12 attempts in that playoff loss. Darren Sproles had 33 yards on 3 carries. Nice try, Sandy Tomlinson. Joe McKnight will be more of a threat for the Jets this year than you can ever be.

Good thing you got that Jets logo tattoo on your leg, Tomlinson. What kind of female dog move is that?

Continuing on the Jets moves, the team let guard Alan Faneca go. Not the kind of move that grabs headlines, but a serious ding into the team's impressive offensive line from 2009.

The experts are already touting Shonn Greene as the next big thing at running back. But something about Greene screams Matt Forte. Which could very well be the case seeing that the team will be starting Division 1-AA star Vladimir Ducasse in Faneca's absence.

Sanchez has worked hard on his -- tan this year. Sanchez has missed workouts this offseason while recovering from knee surgery. Instead opting for long walks on the beach. Sanchez still has a lot to learn and spending time in rehabilitation and not working on his game really puts him further behind guys like Joe Flacco and Matt Ryan who were solid -- though not spectacular -- in their second seasons.

And if the running game falters and Sanchez is forced to win some games with his arm, look out.

Bottom Line: The Jets were a perfect example of a team that finished hot, rolled past a soft playoff opponent and reached the AFC Championship Game. Not bad for a team coach Ryan wrote off during the season.

The whole experience has Jets fans thinking big things. But Jets fans are typically idiots. The Jets could improve a lot this season, finish 8-8, miss the playoffs but still be heading into the right direction.

The Jets were the champions of April. No doubt, but that does not mean they will be playing past December.


R.J. said...

I know it's football season when I see this feature on your blog. Looking forward to mess known as The Racial Slurs.

This comment has been removed by the author.

Good post. How do you think the Colts will fare?

THN said...

We will get to them, Israel.

DAWUSS said...

He takes care of all 32 teams, even if it takes him all the way into September to do so. ;)

One of these days we need to get you into CFL football.

BTW, my word verification is "kerwqwe" which, according to my sources, is what Mark Sanchez's reply was when Cowgirl turned him down.

THN said...

It is four to five a week leading you up to Kickoff Weekend. We have it spaced out.

Diane said...

Sigh. It could have been a photo of a shirtless Sanchez and instead . . .Cowgirl. I guess I should be grateful for the lack of Rizzoli and Isles posts.

p.s. Cromartie did finally marry one of his baby mamas

buckyor said...

I *knew* a photo of Sterger would get Diane's attention.

Thanks for starting the SBBK this week; I now know I have to up my game for the NFC North.

THN said...

Yes, Bucky. Looking forward to your week. Need to reach out the the Bain and the Hatriot to see if they would like to play.

Sorta sorry about Cowgirl, D. Maybe we can work in Sanchez some other time.

And even as an ardent Angie Harmon fan, even I cannot watch that new show.

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