Wednesday, July 07, 2010

I Will Take Least Surprising News for $200 Alex

I have been -- unsuccessfully -- trying to avoid sports news during my vacation. Especially football, but there is JaMarcus Russell being busted for 'Purple Drank.' Which, in case you do not know, is a mixture of codeine, 7up and a Jolly Rancher. And the Jolly Rancher is my favorite part.

Sure you might be pounding prescription cough syrup, but it is the Jolly Rancher that makes it really cheesy. Like those people who dropped Jolly Ranchers in their Zima back in the day.

The sad fact is that Russell does not even care enough to let his career vanish for something spectacular. Michael Vick went out with a a flurry. Dog fighting is a despicable act and he never deserves the benefit of the doubt for anything, but he is making an effort to be an a-hole. Killing dogs, shooting people at his birthday party. This is a significant effort to blow up his career.

But even Russell's crimes are lazy -- just like his football career. Cough syrup? Really, is that the best you could do? Why not smoke crack. Be found in a hotel room minutes before the Super Bowl all cracked out. (Though, the odds of the Raiders being in the Super Bowl is not good.)

Mel Gibson is really going out of his way to destroy every thing he has worked for over the years. That is work ethic.

None of this is a surprise to those around the league, and the Raiders had knowledge of Russell's abuse of 'Purple Drank' dating back to last year. I would probably take more delight in this if it was not just so sad. Because honestly, JaMarcus Russell is sincerely a loser.

8 comments:

WCT said...

I have been -- unsuccessfully -- trying to avoid sports news during my vacation.

Uh, you've been on vacation? Couldn't tell...

THN said...

hahaha. I love you, WCT.

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R.J. said...

I remember Terrence Kiel getting the ball rolling on his sad ending with codeine in the trunk of his car. As much as I loathe JaMarcus I hope he doesn't end up with his body partially ejected out of a rolled over Monte Carlo one of these nights.

Rush said...

Look my dusky friend, if you're going to abuse pharmaceutical painkillers, do it right! Send your maid out to procur some Oxycontin. You may know it as Hillybilly Heroin. Keep popping those little white pills until it causes you hearing loss, then make up some horseshit about how you got addicted because of your fat ass errrrrr back pain. No jail time and you'll be back banging South American rent boys and calling for the incarceration of pot smokers in no time!

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