Thursday, April 22, 2010

The Weak Ender: Silly Owners

First off ... my faith in humanity is restored. The fans chanted "she said no" while the Steelers were making their selection in the first round. Well done.

Prime time draft? Eh.

But let's get started.

NFL owners … when are they going to learn?

New Dolphins minority owner Jennifer Lopez should be told a thing or two about “tipping her hand” when it comes to the NFL draft. Lopez appeared on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on Wednesday and let it slip that she hopes the Dolphins take Tennessee DT Dan Williams with the No. 12 overall pick.

“We have the 12th pick, you know, so I’m leaning towards Dan Williams,” Lopez told host Jay Leno. “We need a defensive tackle, he’s really explosive off the line, can beat the double team and does a nice job finishing the play. But that’s just my opinion.”

Come on, J-Lo, you need to play that close to the vest. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s putting a smoke screen out there to teams drafting after the Dolphins. Maybe she’s a super-shrewd NFL genius, like Cameron Diaz’s character in On Any Given Sunday.

In that case, well played, J-Lo.

And maybe she was smoke-screening us because Williams fell all the way down to the Cardinals at No. 26. Great pick for them.

AND TOO bad J-Lo wasn't drunk and rambling about Bill Parcells, saying that he was not (expletive).

THERE HAVE been rumors about WR Terrell Owens reuniting with QB Donovan McNabb in Washington. For those of you who revel in trash TV, where shows such as “Jersey Shore” and the “Real Housewives of Topeka” reign supreme, this pairing would rival Bill Belichick and Eric Mangini sitting down together for Thanksgiving dinner.

Of course, killjoy McNabb debunked these rumors while talking to the Washington Post (or at least he says he hasn’t been lobbying the Redskins’ coaching staff to add Owens). But this is the NFL, where you never say never.

So Owens joined Stephen A. Smith on Fox Sports Radio (via Sports Radio Interviews) on Wednesday to talk about those rumors and said that he and McNabb have “some unfinished business.”

“I’ll say this and go on record and say it: If that is the case for me to go to Washington and for Donovan McNabb and we were to reunite, there would be some unfinished business,” Owens said. “I mean going to the Super Bowl and winning it.”

Owens added that drops aren’t a problem for him (really?), he might be getting older but he’s getting faster and the old receiver’s refrain that he wants to play for a contender with a good quarterback.

“I am not looking for a specific number of years as to play because I know my window as far as playing is very limited,” Owens said. “Personally, I feel like I could play for at least three more years. I would like to go to a team where I know they are going to be a contender, where I know they are going to have a good quarterback and where I know I can be effective.”

So a return to Buffalo or Oakland is out, but Washington looks like a good option. You have to figure this will come down to coach Mike Shanahan.

SOME HAVE speculated that the relationship between Bears QB Jay Cutler and new offensive coordinator Mike Martz could be combustible. Something along the lines of Jeff George and June Jones, whose sideline fracas in Atlanta still entertains in those delightful NFL Films.

Cutler traded barbs with Chargers QB Philip Rivers, then talked his way out of Denver. Martz is, well, Martz, a guy whose stubbornness, Rams fans will contend, cost his team a Super Bowl title.

But so far, so good in Chicago. In fact, Martz told the Chicago Sun-Times that Cutler has been better than advertised:

”I’ve got to smile because he has just been remarkable; he really has,” Martz said. “He’s so intelligent, he can intimidate you. He really can. He is extremely bright, one of the smartest people I’ve been around. He’s very humble, though. He loves this game. He has great passion for what he does.”


Bears fans and fantasy football geeks alike hope Cutler and Martz can continue to make beautiful music together. But they haven’t participated in a real game.

GOLFING CHAMP Tiger Woods can cheat on his wife all that he wants, but is America willing to forgive him for hanging out with Nickelback?

AND FINALLY ...

Jets LB Calvin Pace doesn’t agree with the six-game suspension that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell gave Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger. Pace, who served a four-game suspension last year, told the New York Post that the suspension was a touch excessive.

“How do you suspend somebody who didn’t get convicted in court?” Pace said. “I don’t get it. How can you do it? Because Roger Goodell’s like a judge. That’s a lot of games, especially for a franchise quarterback. A guy who up until this year, I never heard anything bad happen to him. It’s a situation where you’re dealing with somebody’s word against your word. It’s like people just kind of come out of the woodwork — ‘Oh yeah, this happened to me.’ But how do we know? Seriously. Does anybody have any tape?”


Dude, didn't you hear the Jets fans at the game? She said "no."

9 comments:

Bain said...

Denver sports talk is abuzz that the Donks are angling for Riflesfurburgers.

Not sure if this is an omen, but House of Babes Lounge has 80s dance mix and 2-for-1 Lemon Drops tonight.

Diane said...

"GOLFING CHAMP Tiger Woods can cheat on his wife all that he wants, but is America willing to forgive him for hanging out with Nickelback?"

As long as it wasn't Creed, yes. Because as even Tim Tebow knows, even Jesus hates Creed.

Bokolis said...

Was it really Jets fans- "show your tits" Jets fans- chanting?

What better way to keep away from birds than to hang with Nickelback?

Damned right it ws a smoke screen. J-Lo is cagier than she lets on and Parcells is a master of misdirection.

Photoshop is for liars though. J-Lo's ass hasn't been that size since she was just out of diapers.

NFL Jen said...

How the FRICK is your "faith in humanity" restored when it came at the expense of 15 year old Leukemia patient Zachary Hatfield who's Make a Wish was to announce a draft pick. That's pretty (expletived) up if you ask me.

The Hatriot said...

First off, I'm guessing in the future the NFL should let seriously ill children announce the draft pick for one of the 31 NFL teams whose QB's weren't accused of rape in each of the last two off-seasons. I'm just thinking aloud here, seeing what we can up with.

Secondly, WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU NOT MADE JENN BROWN THE WEAKENDER GIRL? Take a look at this:

http://www.bustedcoverage.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/jenn-brown-espn-reporter-11.jpg

and tell me Cowboy Honk isn't throwing back Mango-ritas and listening to Tegan & Sarah.

The Hatriot said...

Correction:
Tegan & Sarah actually both like pussy. I should've stated that Cowboy Honk was singing along to My Chemical Romance while downing souvenir glass after souvenir glass of Mango-ritas.

Bain said...

I ain't gonna mess with those Canadian twins, especially after hearing Jack White--who can cover anything--go face-first on "Walking With A Ghost."

RJ in SoCal said...

"She said no! She said no!" I loved it.

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