If I had a son, I would want him to grow up to be Jason Elam.
The long-time Broncos kicker retired today, after signing one of those one-day deals since he had a two-year stint with the Falcons. Elam referred to his career as an ‘awesome journey,’ but it might have been one of the greatest NFL careers in history.
Now, he might not have achieved the fame of say, Joe Montana, Tom Brady or Gomer. But Elam’s resume is second-to-none when it comes to NFL players.
First off, Elam is a kicker, he’s never been hit.
He went to the University of Hawaii.
Denver is not a bad place to live. Nor is Atlanta.
Elam married a Broncos cheerleader – after lobbying the owner to get rid of the rule against fraternization with the cheerleaders – who was a former Hawaiian Tropics model (not the one pictured, though).
He won two Super Bowl rings. (And remember, he never got hit.)
He can probably actually walk (again, never been hit), and likely is really, really good at golf.
Brady has a model wife, but he had to rehab his knee. Gomer is insanely ugly. And let’s not talk about Ben Roethlisberger’s life.
So yeah, give me Elam’s career. I would take it.