Thursday, February 11, 2010

The Weak Ender: Memo to NASCAR

Danica Patrick has certainly received her fair share of grief in this space. Be it her fiery temper, or as we grapple with the eternal question of whether she is hot or not. And that cold, vacant look in her eyes when she tries to look sexy. (Though, she has gotten better.)

Danica is moving to the Nationwide series of NASCAR, the minor leagues if you will. And of course, a number of drivers are questioning her credentials. So allow me to echo the comments of the only logical person in NASCAR, Jimmie Johnson when I say, get a (expletive) clue you (expletive) rednecks.

How dumb are your morons?

Your sport sucks. NASCAR has had about as much success as Major League Soccer in taking over America. Nobody goes to your races. Your events in Fontana are no longer selling out. Nobody cares.

At least until now.

Now that Patrick is joining the Nationwide series, you guys are starting to get some much-needed publicity. And mind you, this is a minor NASCAR event. The Nationwide race will likely draw more interest than the Daytona 500.

Do you need to ask why? Who cares if Danica is qualified, or if she ever wins a race. Hell, you would be better off if she never wins, as her quest for victory will keep people tuning in.

I have not watched a NASCAR race since I stopped hanging out at the Shore House on Sundays two years ago. But I will watch the Nationwide race.

You stupid inbreds should be grateful that people care again. Good lord, it does not take a stretch to realize why you guys lost the Civil War.

Patrick is going to make you lots, and lots of money. If you do not think so, why don't you ask the PGA who it is doing without Tiger Woods. You rednecks should be fiddling her bean and thanking her giving NASCAR a go. Idiots.

SERIOUSLY BENGALS? You are going to sign PacMan Jones and Matt Jones?

AND FINALLY ...

The St. Louis FC is being passed from a murdering showgirl to a tax cheat. Well, if he can get approval from the NFL brain trust. Not sure if that is a sure thing. A source says that this could prove to be a sticky issue, and any bad publicity could derail his approval.

Might this be a Trojan horse by the Rosenblooms who can claim that they tried to sell the team to a local interest, but were denied.

3 comments:

Diane said...

I've been a Danica defender on the pages of THN, but NASCAR?

THN said...

Maybe she wanted to compete at the top level, or what is considered the top level here in the United States.

Or to make a lot of money. Either way, I am good with it.

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