Thursday, February 18, 2010

The Weak Ender: Let the Games Begin

The Olympics are providing hotties in the most unusual places. You expect the good from skiing, like Lindsey Vonn or even better, Julia Mancuso. But how about that Olympic curling? No, not the Americans. The American broads looked like the kind of women you would typically find driving minivans to the Mall of America in Minnesota. But the Japanese team was absolutely adorable.

Almost enough to make you forget about all of those bogus Toyotas they are shipping out of that country. Seriously, we have given that country baseball, McDonalds and now crappy cars. Guess you can say that the Americanization of Japan is now comprete.

Now, it appears that many of you are going wacky morning FM DJ on curling. You hear the same basically laments, nobody knows the rules and is these even a real sport?

First of all, you know the rules of soccer, does that make it any more enjoyable to you?

And b.) if figure skating is a sport, then curling is a sport. As Norm MacDonald always said, if these figure skaters were so good, why don’t they play hockey?

I will concede that curling might be more of a drinking game than it is an actual sport. But if that means we get more drinking games into the Olympics, well, that cannot be considered a bad thing. Seriously, if there is ever Olympic flip cup, beer pong or Beirut, then this cannot be considered a bad thing.

And to the people who are complaining about snowboarding being on tape delay, think of your target audience here. Seriously, do you believe that snowboarders are worried about waking up for their jobs in the morning? Unlikely.

Of course, NBC has a large number of other networks, including USA, ScyFy (its spelling not mine), and others. And while they have done a decent job of playing some sports live, NBC should be doing it with all of the sports, and then using the prime time NBC for those who, you know, have jobs and stuff. We need more coverage not less. The 11:30 start for snowboard would not seem so alarming if there was a chance to watch it live on CNBC.

Really, the world can do without Keith Olbermann and Rachel Maddow’s smarminess for two weeks. Or let them do commentary. Either way, I am good with it.

DANICA PATRICK is in Southern California this week. I swore many years ago that I would not return to Fontana for a NASCAR race. I would go to this Nationwide series if not for prior commitments. Remember that NASCAR drivers when you are pissed off about Danica’s presence.

And did you notice that ESPN refers to her as Danica on the bottom line, and not Patrick.

SHAUN WHITE has to be considered one of the top athletes of this generation. Who else joins him, Usain Bolt? Michael Phelps? White, like those three, have no peer in their sport. You can pick the top baseball player, NFL or NBA guy. But there is always an argument.

You never will get an argument about White being the best snowboarder of his generation.

WHY IS Jim Nantz on my television admonishing guys for being whipped? Wasn’t this the same guy who cried on the stand during his divorce trial because his wife would not let him hang up an oil painting in his home? Please go away.

A PLANE flew into an IRS building on Thursday. First of all, stop laughing, it is not funny. Sure, I did pause for a moment to figure out whose side I was one, but seriously, that was wrong.

And my second thought, which Yankees player was it?

Too soon?


Pitchers and catchers this week. Football is nice, but the world is a better place when baseball is in season.


kid vegas said...

If there was a a bracket for ugliest person in all of sports, Shaun White would have to be the overall #1 seed right? That guy should stick to snowboarding exclusively on the radio, good lord.

For the record the other #1 seeds would be Chauncey Billups, Keith Youklis, and of course Tom Brady.

Bain said...

I speak for everyone who's ever strapped on a board when I say that I would beat my own face in with a 2x4 if I thought it would give me one-tenth of Shaun White's skills.

THN said...

I agree with you, Bain. He is so much better than everybody. And to think, I have a neighbor who insists that Shaun is not an athlete. Yeah ...

Bokolis said...

I prefer Mancuso to Vonn:
1) smokin' body
2) had a very positive experience with a Mancuso bird in college
3) can't get into birds that use their married name...when they retain their maiden name, it maintains the illusion that she's already preparing for an out and she can therefore be had...and they're the best kind.

Was "comprete" Freudian or intentional?

Not too soon, but the question made me wonder whether you considered Munson.

Diane said...

Better question - why is Jim Nantz EVER on your TV?

Bain said...

Adam, take your neighbor up to Mammoth, strap him/her in, and set them loose in Main Park. Might change their outlook.

THN said...

Yes, I would agree, Bain. As long as he 'surfs' Snow Valley, he might not get it.

I fear that I make too many spelling errors to complete a comprete.

D, I spent the afternoon at the Surf. We have blogs, tweets and facebook, need numbers.

buckyor said...

Ugliest athlete of all time is Steve Carfino, former Iowa point guard. Sure, no one who doesn't follow Big Ten basketball would know who he is (and I'm surely the only one of that group here), but he was so ugly I overheard Northwestern's coach before a game exclaim, "Jesus he's ugly."

Speaking of basketball players, my verification word is "ainge." No shit. Whoever comes up with these words must be referring to Brother Daniel's skills at the plate. Watching him attempt to hit a baseball was less pleasant than watching my parents make out.

Diane said...

Email me and I'll shoot you my cell

And Shaun White isn't even a first round pick for the all ugly team. He's actually pretty cute.