Friday, February 26, 2010

The Weak Ender: The Gauntlet Vancouver

Somehow the winter games have turned somehow less Olympics and more into a Real World – Road Rules challenge. Of course, that would make Bode Miller the U.S. version of Puck, so maybe that is not too much off base here.

Honestly, I believe my favorite thing out of the Olympics so far – other than curling – is the phrase Vonn-Torage. The world needed that. The world also needed Lindsey Vonn’s take on Tiger Woods, too.

When a member of her Vonn-tourage tells her that Woods gave a few friends hugs after ending his statement, she cracks, 'They're like, Yeah, you're awesome, you go have that sex.'...Then she describes a skit she would want to perform if asked to host Saturday Night Live: picture Vonn at Woods' podium, blue backdrop and all. 'There's something you don't know about me,' Vonn says in a faux solemn, apologetic voice. 'Tiger, you're like my idol, and I too have a sex problem...That would be freaking funny.'

Saturday Night Live funny, for sure. But seriously, what the hell did that even mean? Where was the joke in that? Are we supposed to find that funny because she is attractive?

For all of that, though, I have to side with Julia Mancuso on this one.

(A back-to-back Weak Ender girl which I cannot believe has happened since Kelly Monaco used to haunt this site repeatedly. And I am sure that Dr. Doug is not complaining, though Danica Patrick was the other option here.)

The whole skiing event was about Vonn’s hurt shin, her broken finger, blah, blah, blah. You can see how these other athletes could be a little bummed out. And it’s not like Vonn is of Shaun White’s stature, either.

And let's be honest, Mancuso is just way better looking. Vonn's looks are like the Donovan McNabb -- severely overrated.

THE WORLD now has a mourning boner (taken from Sons of the Sports Guy). Some say we recently lost Boner, but could you not argue that we lost Andrew’s acting talents a long time ago?

And did anybody see Kirk Cameron’s message to his friend? He said that Mike Seaver and Boner could always work things out.

Dude, being type-cast like that is what drove him to suicide. Your message obviously did not help.

DID ANYBODY catch Tessa Virtue signing O' Canada following her gold-medal performance in ice dancing? Hot chick, singing one of my favorite songs in the world. That's right, I love the Canadian national anthem.

HAVE YOU ever tried to convince your friends that football is not gay? Well, combine week is going to make it pretty difficult for you. Seriously, dudes taking pictures of dudes running around in their underwear? Good luck.

BRETT FAVRE will be on the Tonight Show when it returns. Jay Leno should also book Artie Lange to be a guest on that show. And think of this Artie, you just got shown up by Boner from Growing Pains. He had the sack to make it happen.

AND FINALLY ...

The best hockey takes on this site come in the comments section. But, is there any reason to believe the US can beat Canada for the gold medal? Honestly, that beat down that Canada served to Russia is frightening. Canada is going to be motivated and the US could get its butts kicked. Discretion would be the better part of valor. I feel that the US will lose on Friday, blowing the dream matchup.

5 comments:

WCT said...

Its almost March and not a single mention of your god-forsaken baseball team. I guess that you've resigned to their fate of winning the AL west and choking in the playoffs again in '10...

オテモヤン said...

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Tiger said...

Hey Lindsay, hahahahaha and fuck you!

Sun Devil said...

Hasn't Artie been through enough?

THN said...

We need to pace ourselves, WCT. Pace!