Friday, February 27, 2009

The Weak Ender

Oh look, the UFC now has its own Divas fighting. Where has that been done before? Oh yes, the WWF.

Let’s check the scorecard real quick, shall we? The UFC has Brock Lesnar, Ken Shamrock and now a bunch of hot chicks fighting, like Gina Carano.

Who still believes that the UFC is real? Stupid marks.

More pictures: With Lethur

That certainly didn’t take long, but Albert Haynesworth has signed with the Redskins and Bart Scott has joined the Jets.

Haynesworth signing is no surprise at all because he was destined to play for the Redskins as the highest paid defender in league history. And potentially the biggest bust in free agent history. Even Al Davis sees this one coming.

Haynesworth’s lone NFL contribution was stepping on the head of a defenseless offensive lineman, Andre Gurode. And until that time, he was just a poor-man’s version of John Henderson.

But then Haynesworth entered his contract year and played well. He was franchised and he played well once again. Now that he’s richest defensive player in NFL history, do you think he’s going to strive to get better or will that defenseless head belong to Daniel Snyder? That outcome should come as no surprise, either.

Scott will likely fair better. Normally, you would cringe when a guy sandwich between two talented linebackers in Baltimore takes the money and runs. But he’s joining former defensive coordinator Rex Ryan. Meaning, if Scott was a linebacking version of Alvin Harper, Ryan would know. The fact that Ryan wanted him so bad shows me that he’s going to be pretty good with the Jets.

And then there’s the Kurt Warner Machine on the open market. But after watching him play at New England last year, even the most ardent KWM fans know that he should stay indoors. Not that he couldn’t thrive in, say, Miami. Because he did win outdoor games in Carolina and was good in the Super Bowl. But come on guys, get this deal done.

  • Manny Ramirez rejected a two-year deal from the Dodgers. Man-Ram obviously doesn’t want to play in spring training. Can’t figure out why, Arizona is sweet this time of year. But think of this lineup: SS Punch-And-Judy (pick any of the three), LF Bobby Abreu, DH Manny Ramirez, RF Vlady, CF Torii Hunter, C Mike Napoli, 1b Riveria/Morales, 3b Brandon Wood, 2b Howie Kendrick. Does that work for you, Angels fan?

Skip Bayless obviously didn’t care for Jeff Pearlman’s Boys will be Boys which chronicled the 1990s Dallas Cowboys. The book chronicled the team of the 1990s, but also painted Barry Switzer and Bayless as clueless buffoons. (Switzer and Bayless are tight.)

Not that there’s anything wrong with being a clown. In fact, you can’t blame Switzer for doing what he did. Could you honestly say that if you were the coach of the Cowboys and had no clue what you are doing, you wouldn’t end up living it up? That’s just smart.

Bayless, of course, retaliates by drumming up the old Troy Aikman is gay and racists claims. Claims that were refuted in Pearlman’s book. Bayless has never been one for credibility. He once claimed that Aikman nearly threw a game against the Rams in 1991 because he wanted to get traded. But the latest round of lies – fabricated by former Oklahoma coach John Blake – is a new low. Even for Bayless.

But if you saw that shirt Bayless was wearing on First and 10 on Thursday, you know that he can sink even lower.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Hot Chicks Marry D-Bags

Yes, this is first hand knowledge, too. Funny.

But people are bent out of shape today that Adriana Lima is going to marry some Eurotrash NBA star. Mr. Titan Rugby calls this the most unforgivable unfairness since Arthur Miller and Marilyn Monroe. Which of course, created quite a chuckle from me. Though some of you would probably think about Lyle Lovett and Julia Roberts. And if you did, why don't you go read Zach's site instead. That's probably what he would come up with.

If it makes you guys feel any worse, her husband is likely going to cheat on her. That's the way these Euros work. But don't worry, you can make fun of her when she's washed up and appearing on The Surreal Life 12. But this is the way the world works.

McNabb Realizes He's the One that Sucks, Right?

Donovan McNabb recently told the Eagles that he is unwilling to talk about a contract extension until he sees the team upgrade its offensive talent. What, does he want the Eagles to make a trade for Matt Cassel during the offseason? That would be a tremendous upgrade.

But he's probably thinking of a free-agent receiver such as T.J. Huygheruiofgbvsdah, Marvin Harrison or somebody who can actually catch. Harrison would be the perfect compliment to McNabb. Both could go into the tank when the postseason starts. This might be a better destination for him than Oakland. That way, Harrison can relive Art Monk's legacy.

What's most amusing here is that McNabb still has two years remaining on his contract. Do the Eagles even want to extend him? They used a second round pick on Tommy Mad ... err, Kevin Kolb. The Eagles are going to need to make a move towards the future at some point. Why not now? McNabb and Andy Reid are 1-4 in NFC Championship Games. The time to move on is now. Not sure what McNabb could command in the open market, but the Eagles should make a move to get younger. One day they are going to wake up with a 4-12 football. Better to cut the losses now.

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The Post Mortem

Poor Michael Crabtree. First, Matt Millen gets fired, ruining his chance to be the first overall selection in the 2009 NFL Draft. And now he's got a stress fracture in his foot. Bummer, dude.

The NFL's attempt to remain relevant until the start of spring training baseball games and March Madness will come to a close this week. The more the combine continues, the more evident it becomes that the Lions are screwed.

The Lions have a lot of needs. Like 11 needs on defense. And 10 on offense. The Lions just don't have enough picks to address them all, even with an extra pick in the first round. The Lions would be able to deal that No. 1 pick in an ideal world to get some more help, but that's not going to happen. Instead, they are going to be left with one of the following players.

Andre Smith. The offensive tackle from Alabama showed up to the combine out of shape. He went AWOL by leaving early, causing a huge commotion. And he will probably be a bust. In other words, he's almost a Lion already.

Aaron Curry. He's a nice player. Probably the safest bet on the field. But for the money he is going to command as the top pick in the draft, he won't be able to live up to being the first overall selection. Not sure if he will become a Ray Lewis or Patrick Willis type.

B.J. Raji. Another nice player who will never be able to live up to the expectations of being the top pick. Curry and Raji are solid and are probably the best options. But they won't be able to live up to their salary numbers and will likely end up being cut in a couple of years.

Matthew Stafford. Just what the Lions need, a quarterback with a double chin. Stafford is on the Lions radar because he went to the same high school at Bobby Layne. That's the kind of information that the Lions find useful. Not the fact that he's just not good. In the end, he will probably be the guy that the Lions go with.

  • Ray Lewis told DeMarcus Ware that he wants to play for the Cowboys. Funny that the Cowboys are looking for somebody who was acquitted of murder to clean up the team's image. Rumor has it that O.J. Simpson was going to be a special team consultant before he busted into some dude's hotel room in Las Vegas. Nice work, boys.
  • Garret Anderson will join Casey Kotchman in Atlanta as the Braves attempt to become the new Cardinals.
  • Ocean's 11 and The Rock were on cable this weekend. The same weekend as the Oscars. Fitting since these two epic films were gypped during their award seasons.

Call it the buyer's remorse. But the Raiders have already rid themselves of DeAngelo Hall and Gibril Wilson. Now they are looking to cut Javon Walker. Why bother cutting him? Just take him to Las Vegas to "fix the glich?"

Love R.J.'s comment to the Weak Ender -- Marvin Harrison will play for the Raiders this season. Because of Gomer's epic choking, Harrison's disappearing act during the playoffs often goes overlooked. He obviously won't have to worry about that with the Raiders.

Friday, February 20, 2009

The Weak Ender

Danica Patrick had her tramp stamp airbrushed from her Sports Illustrated spread, as the editors of SI have good taste. Who was looking at her lower back? I was looking at her ... eyes.

Seriously people, they were doing her (and you) a favor. The year 1996 called and they wanted its trend back. Having no tattoos is the new tattoo of 2009.

Don't worry WTC, The Hater Nation is talking football this week. I know, you're all thrilled.

Michael Strahan is in talks to star in a sitcom. And that's just disgusting. How would NFL players like it if some untalented hacks with no formal training walked off the street and started playing in the NFL. Would Strahan have liked that when he was playing?

Well, Eli was his quarterback so that might not be a fair question.

And there's kickers, too. But there are people out there who have struggled for years to be actors. Taken classes, paid their dues and honed their craft. Yet, a guy like Strahan is given a TV gig because he's the son of Esther Rolle.

Here's the bigger question ... does anybody find him funny?

  • Santonio Holmes has been fined for using the ball as a prop in his end zone celebration following his winning touchdown in Super Bowl XLIII. Don't worry, those 15 yards would have made no difference. Why does the NFL want to keep reminding people that they do a horrible job of officiating? Is the league tired of all of the awesome press that Alex Rodriguez is getting and they wanted to let everybody know that while the players may not cheat, the refs sure do. Awesome.
  • Darren Sproles is going to end up being the highest paid running back in San Diego. And worse news for us fantasy geeks -- the Chargers will be going to the dreaded running back by committee. Sweet.
  • The NFL Competition Committee is considering tinkering with overtime. Would the NFL being do this if Gomer led the Colts to a playoff win while Philip Rivers and the Chargers never got a chance to score? No way.
  • Here's some receiver news. T.J. Houshtryiudfgjeh is going to end up in either Seattle, Chicago or Philadelphia. He's going to be a bust, people. Marvin Harrison is going to have to play for a new team. And no longer being Gomer's teammate, people will get pissed when Harrison shoots people now. And Anquan Boldin says that he's open to staying in Arizona. Meaning KWM might return. Yeah, the thought of trying to catch passes from Kyle Orton will scare anybody straight. Smart.
  • Nnamdi Asomugha is going to be paid among the highest quarterbacks in the league. That's right, quarterbacks. Leave it to the Raiders to think of a creative way to cost themselves a lot of money. Nice.
  • How are we already to the season finale of Psych? Easily the best show on television. Any show that references the Iron Sheik and Nikolai Volkoff deserves that honor. Will Strahan's show do that? Not bloody likely.

All you have to do is have Raiders in your name to have a horrible organization. The Texas Tech Red Raiders were considering firing Mike Leach. Until the school realized that it would go back to being as relevant as Baylor if Leach ever left.

The school should have done everything in its power to ensure that Leach would stay with the school instead of antagonizing him. He will remember that the next time a bigger school comes calling.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Fight over Angels vs. Dodgers ends in stabbing

From the Orange County Register.

FULLERTON – A Dodgers fan stabbed an Angels fan after an argument broke out over their teams Sunday night, police said.

The stabbing occurred at 11:55 p.m. at 2 J's Cocktail Lounge at 120 W. Houston Ave. near Harbor Boulevard , said Fullerton police Sgt. Mike MacDonald.

According to investigators, two men – one wearing a Dodgers jacket and the other wearing an Angels hat – got into an argument when the Angels fan made a comment about having to share the restroom with the Dodgers fan, MacDonald said.

The Dodgers fan responded by making a profane comment about the Angels and the two began fighting. The fight spilled into the bar where the Dodgers fan pulled out a folding pocket knife and slashed the Angels fan behind the neck, on the ear and wrist, MacDonald said.

The 29-year-old man from Fullerton did not suffer life-threatening injuries, MacDonald said.

The Dodgers fan, described as 5 feet, 7 inches tall and weighing 165 pounds, ran out and remains at large. He was wearing a blue Dodgers jacket with blue jeans and has a mustache, MacDonald said.

Comment from The Hatriot: Tell the truth: You knew which one did the stabbing as soon as you read the headline…

Word. Anybody new to the site, or who never caught on, be sure to check out Raiders Fans in the Mist, Volume III: Dodger Stadium. It's full of dated references from 2005.

Monday, February 16, 2009

The Post Mortem

Now you can kind of understand Mr. Goodell's unnatural fascination with trying to make the Pro Bowl a media event. The NBA All-Star game is a well organized and well attended event. Words you would not associate with the Pro Bowl. (Plus, the NFL has long had NBA envy anyway.)

The celebrity game is decent enough. The whole Harlem Globetrotters deal, though, is kind of played out. The skills competition is actually an excellent event. The slam dunk contest is lamed but popular. And something that I never realized before, people are really into the NBA All-Star game. Like seriously.

I went to a friend's birthday party on Sunday night at a place called Big Wangs in North Hollywood. Imagine a slightly trashier version of Hooters, but better food. What's funny is that when you think of Hooters, you have busty women in tank tops. The fear was that Big Wangs would have a bunch of dudes from the valley (if you get the drift) in bikini bottoms. Thankfully, Big Wangs employed a bunch of broads.

The point is (sorry WCT), the bar was packed with people watching the All-Star game. Not just watching, but cheering every bucket in the early going. Until they realized that it was an All-Star game and the teams were going to score on every possession. The crowd still popped for the big moments, though, and gave a standing ovation at the end of the game.

Does this happen anywhere else?

Now Los Angeles is Lakers crazy. The whole region is united by the Lakers for the most part. Angels, Dodgers, Raiders, Rams, Chargers, Kings and Ducks fans love the Lakers. But honestly, to see people this into the All-Star game was a huge surprise.

Though, not a bigger surprise than to end up sitting next to the Chotchkie's Waiter from Office Space. I typically never go north of the Orange Curtain in my spare time, but every time, there is a celebrity. And I can't help but to ask some dumb question. But it's cool. Think about your profession. Would you like people to recognize you for what you do? Not every working actor is a fan-hating mega star. These guys like to be acknowledged. So I threw out an obvious question, "Can you ever go to a chain restaurant and not be harangued?" A slight nod to recognizing him, not obnoxious enough to drive the dude crazy. Plus he turned out to be pretty cool, so there you go. For the record, it does happen. Typically in the restroom when he's midstream.

Now, Shaq and Kobe played well together and were clowning around. And there is talk that the two could reunited in Los Angeles. Hard to imagine that happening. The duo can get together during All-Star weekend, but they are not far from the whole "Kobe, tell my how (buttocks) taste?"

Besides, Kobe wants to win a ring on his own. There is no way he would agree to this. Kobe might say all of the right things, clown around with Shaq in public during All-Star weekend, but you have to imagine that deep down, he still hates the big fella. Kobe is fully aware that Shaq has an extra ring. And by allowing Shaq to come back to L.A., he would be admitting to the world that he can't do it without Shaq.

No way that reunion happens.

  • The Vikings came out and said that they would not be interested in Brett Favre. Ever. Maybe 15 years ago, according to owner Zygi Wilf, but not now. Wow, when a team that has Tarvaris Jackson as its starting quarterback doesn't want you, that's hard to live with.
  • Favre admitted to lover Peter King that he wanted to stick it to Packers GM Ted Thompson, Yeah, he really showed him. Good one. He showed Thompson that he could ruin the Jets season the same way he killed the Packers hopes in the 2007 NFC Championship Game.
  • The Buccaneers have parted ways with quarterback Jeff Garcia. One of the rumored destinations for Garcia is New York. But come on, the Jets have already gone through Favre, do they want a weaker armed signal caller?

If you ever wondered by the Bengals were the worst organization in football, look no further than the team franchise tagging their kicker. In the meantime, T.J. Houshkjjkfgcvmdah will be allowed to walk away as a free agent. With him leaving, Carson Palmer possibly being killed on the field next season, and Cedric Benson as the likely starting running back; a guy who kicks field goals might come in handy because they will not be scoring any touchdowns.

Friday, February 13, 2009

The Weak Ender

That plane kind of beats the old school Shamu plane, right? But can you imagine somebody flying in that plane, calling their friends and say, "Hey, check it out, I'm flying in Bar Refaeli's boob!" There is likely fist fights trying to get that seat.

The most egregious such placement might have been the whole Toni Braxton tower at the Flamingo in Las Vegas.

Hey, where are you staying?

Yeah, I'm in Toni Braxton's crotch. And for some reason I smell bread.

Still, this trend is pretty cool. But how come women's groups have protested this yet? Mothers for years have complained that they had to hide the SI Swimsuit Edition from their hormone-ravaged sons. Now they can't drive them past the airports? But on further inspection, can people even complain about the Swimsuit Edition with all of the available porn on the net? (Or that's what they say.)

Call me old school, but I still prefer the magazines. And not just it's a lot easier to take into the can compared to a laptop. Those machines can get warm. And seriously, you're never going to get a plane in their either.

Hey, it's a three-day weekend, get your work done and get out of there. Don't hang out reading THN.

The NBA All-Star game is this week. That means Mr. Goodell will be quietly weeping at home wondering why the Pro Bowl can't be as big of an event. Here's a couple of answers. The NBA Finals haven't been played. People are burned out by the Super Bowl. The NBA is more about individual stars, though with fantasy football being so popular, that could be argued. Oh, and you can't gamble on the Pro Bowl. At least not accurately. Even then, the NBA All-Star game still blows.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Favre No. 3 Quarterback All-Time

Max McGee joined The Hater Nation as a corespondent for Super Bowl 43. And he contributed just one post, when he promised like five. But how he won't go away, so why not, I'm too lazy to post now anyway. Take it away, Max.

Brett Favre finally retired, and this time, he claims its for real. I've always admired Favre, because that guy certainly loves his drink. This a guy who was fresh out of rehab for abusing pills, but still rented out a room in New Orleans prior to Super Bowl XXIX so he and his buddies could drink some beers. That's my kind of guy. He really knows how to handle himself on the field and more importantly -- in the bar.

Let's pretend that this retirement for Favre is for real. Where would you put his legacy? He certainly has the numbers, that's for sure. There will be a call for Favre to be the greatest of all-time. I'm not quite there yet. I would rank Favre as the No. 3 quarterback of all-time.

In Green Bay Packers history.

My guy Bart Starr is easily the best quarterback in Packers history, and maybe even the best of all-time. All of you fruit cakes who only follow the Super Bowl era are short-changing Starr's legacy. Sure Starr won the first two Super Bowls, but he won a total of five NFL titles. Outside of Otto Graham, nobody is touching that.

All of you pansy, MTV-generation pleebs like to shout out things like, "Favre is the best of all-time." That's a load of crap. If we had a quarterback who threw the game crippling interceptions like Favre did, well, I wouldn't have invited him out for drinks after the game. Well, I might have, but I would have ended up punching him in the nose. You can't be the best of all time and give the game away. For crying out loud, do you think Starr would have lost a home NFC Championship Game to that limp noodle Eli Manning? You've got to be kidding me!

The thing to remember about Starr is that he still holds the record for career postseason passer rating. Starr was at his best when the games mattered the most. So before any of you jerks try to claim Favre was the great of all-time, he wasn't even the best in club history.

And don't forget about Arnie Herber -- the guy who made Don Hutson go. Show some respect.

That's it for me, folks. I'm Max McGee and I'll drink to that.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Sports Dork is Losing It

I'm starting to believe that ESPN's Sports Dork, Bill Simpson, does not believe a thing that he writes and his whole persona is an act. He is likely a Mets fan who grew up rooting for the Giants because nobody in the world -- not even the biggest douche nozzle -- could have their irony meter turned so low. In the dork's latest internet defecation, he tried to describe haters.

From Rebel Chris in Vegas (who passed this along, because there was no way that I was going to read it).

Of those five hater theories, only No. 4 applies to some degree. But there's a huge difference between being perceived as a hater and actually hating someone. The hater gimmick sprung from the Internet, where bloggers and message-board posters rip people to shreds on a daily basis. It's a logical tactic: If you want to cause a splash, but you're not talented or funny and lack an interesting take, what's left? You attack. As those attacks turned more and more venomous, the most common counter to them became, "You're just a hater."

Emphasis mine ... now you read that line and you think of Ara Parsegian in Rudy when he tells Vince Vaughn's character that he has summed up his lousy career in just one sentence as he's gone from the third string to the scout team.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Danica Patrick Might Be Winning Me Over

At least she got rid of that vapid, lifeless look from her eyes. Either that, or I'm getting used to it now. See more photos.

Monday, February 09, 2009

Together Again?

We all realize that Mike Martz is going to be the next offensive coordinator of the Cardinals, right? Just don't let him do any of the play-challenges. This seems inevitable.

Normally, this kind of news would bum me out. But this might actually be the best possible outcome right now. Long time readers of The Hater Nation know that I've longed for Martz to be the coach of the Raiders (AKA the perfect storm of suck). That dream died when the Raiders kept Tom Cable. But, Cable will have a pretty short shelf life. So if Martz can go down to Arizona, keep the good times rolling, then he will eventually get that Raiders gig.

As *-Rod Wanders Through Steroids Hell

Nobody even wonders if Terrell Owens ever used steroids or HGH. There are 6-foot-4 guys running a 4.3 40-yard dash, and still, it's *-Rod who has to go on ESPN and explain his steroid use.

(Sure, A-Roid is much simpler, but come on, we need to do better than that people.)

People still hold baseball records sacred. They still care about the all-time marks, and comparing players through the eras. Football players, on the other hand, are just discarded warriors. Here for a few years, tear up their bodies and then move on. The NFL not only chews its players up by encouraging steroid use, they also neglect to give its senior players any health benefits.

But none of this matters because the third baseman for the Yankees once used steroids. Just wanted to make that clear.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

The Post Mortem

LeBron James is officially a member of the Manning family.

James is like a cross between a Manning brother and soccer player. Either he is withering on the ground in pain, or he's placing his hands around his throat as he gags in another big game. Even Patrick Ewing would have to cringe when he watches James in a monster game. And what is worse, is that his absentee father was watching his two boys in the Pro Bowl instead of taking in the huge Cavaliers vs. Lakers tilt.

James just seems like a fraud. He's good for some triple doubles and, like his brother Gomer, makes an amusing commercial here and there. But damn, he's just not a great clutch player.

Kobe was getting IV fluids and still outplayed him. LeBron should stick to getting triple double doubles in the Garden, but leave the winning for somebody else.

And for the record, if Lamar Odom played like that last year in the finals, well, there would have been a parade in Los Angeles. Celebrating an NBA title that is.

  • Let's get this out of the way, too. Adam Morrison was so happy to be traded to the Lakers, he shed tears of joy. Haha. Watch, Morrison is going to end up thriving with the Lakers. More Trevor Ariza, less Kwame Brown.
  • Nice work by the NBA to put Lakers v. Celtics and Lakers v. Cavs in the week following the Super Bowl. This is why the Pro Bowl doesn't work, people. Exhibition games against meaningful games (well, as meaningful as a regular-season NBA game can be) is a no-brainer.
  • For some reason, the NFL's moving the Pro Bowl to Miami next year still seems like a push to make Hawaii build a new stadium. The NFL wouldn't care about the ratings if Hawaii had a state-of-the-art stadium.
  • Alex Rodriguez did steroids. Is there any reason to believe that any player during the 1990s was natural? More importantly, does A-Rod get into the Hall of Fame? A-Rod had better look at the way Jason Giambi dealt with his steroid taking, and the way Roger Clemens and Barry Bonds have gone about their business. Oh, and how about another apology to Jose Canseco.
  • Larry Fitzgerald finally got his MVP award, but it came a week too late. And when you saw him grab that ball at the end of the first half ... just kidding. Nobody was watching.

There was a report that Michael Phelps was going to lose his Subway sponsorship. What kind of sandwich shop doesn't want to cater to stoners? They should even work this into a new promotion.



Four-twenty foot longs!

And don't try stealing that one (as it was, that was stolen from NFL Jennifer), but that joke has already been sold.

Friday, February 06, 2009

The Weaker Ender

Must echo the Fan IQ blog here, that claims that Jessica Diaz of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers is the biggest Pro Bowl snub of the season.

Who wants to argue that?

Enjoy your last Pro Bowl. Sure, the Pro Bowl is moving to Miami next year the week before the Super Bowl. That should allow for some decent access to players who can give unconvincing picks for the Super Bowl and whore themselves out on NFL Network. That also should allow plenty of writers to get alcohol poisoning, too, along with 20 extra pounds.

This has to be Roger Goodell's worst idea, and that's saying something.

Ray Lewis came out this week and said that he won't play in the Pro Bowl anymore if it's not in Hawaii. And some people took offense to that. To them, I say, shut up. Nobody cares enough about the Pro Bowl to even get upset if Lewis is going to be there or not. Lewis, though, is spot on.

Sure you have some guys such as Brett Favre, Tom Brady and some of the other too-cool-for-school guys who would rather beer deer hunting or doing errands for their super model fiancee girl friend. There are still a large number of players who still show up. Gomer manages to go ever year, though me might be contractually obligated because of his endorsements. Lewis goes every year. Tony Gonzalez. Just to name a few. Even the Kurt Warner Machine, Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin made it after losing the Super Bowl, and that never happens.

Look, all-star games blow. Even baseball's is terrible now that there is interleague play. So why even bother to make it cool? By trying so hard, the NFL is going to make the game worse.

The Celtics swept the season series with the Lakers and then went on to the NBA Finals. The Lakers completed the sweep last night (without Andrew Bynum), so what's next for them?

Maybe Boston shouldn't have spent so much energy winning all of those games in November. Too bad it won't be around to lose in the Finals this year, because Cleveland is going to win the East.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

Tom Cable Hiring No Surprise

Tom Cable sat at the same table where, four months earlier, Al Davis gave a rambling, incoherent power-point presentation spelling out why Lane Kiffin was a rat fink. And it's that same reason why Cable is having the interim label removed from his coaching title. (Though, with any Raiders coach, interim might not be the formal term, it's a realistic one.)

Cable, you see, is an exterminator. He cleaned up after Kiffin's extermination and fumed when the rat fink started raiding the Raiders coaching staff for his Tennessee program. (Good luck after fishing out of that polluted pond.)

Cable gets rid of the rat finks.

But Cable's biggest accomplishment was vanquishing Davis' biggest irritant since Pete Rozelle. Cable ended Jon Gruden's coaching stay in Tampa Bay. The moment the Buccaneers dropped the hammer on Gruden, Cable was hired.

The Raiders win over the Buccaneers kept Tampa Bay out of the playoffs. The Raiders upset also led to Gruden's firing. The moment that happened, Davis became indebted to Cable.

Would Cable be coaching the Raiders today if he lost that game? Probably not. But by ending Gruden's NFL coaching career (for now), Cable was able to extend his own.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Stevenson: Should Kurt Warner Retire?

Greetings, it's your old pal McLean Stevenson here, the king of career choices. Being the king allows me to make fun of other people who are making bigger mistakes than I ever did. This is the part where I would link back to my own personal blog. But I don't update my own blog because I have a life.

Just kidding. It's because I'm dead, people. How do you still not get this?

If you look at what Kurt Warner has done to the Arizona Cardinals franchise, that would be enough for one career. He rescued the Cardinals from the depths of the NFL abyss and led the team to the Super Bowl. I tell you, I would be begging my agent to get me the lead in the Kurt Warner Story based on his Cardinals career alone. (I grow some mean stubble.)

But you have to realize that he has raised two franchises from the deep. The St. Louis FC -- I'm am required to say under the THN agreement -- was a middling expansion franchise with a murderous owner before Warner got his opportunity there. Give some love to Rodney Harrison who got them to the Super Bowl by knocking out starter Trent Green.

So Warner has done the near impossible making the St. Louis FC and Cardinals winners. What more do you want from the guy?

I know a thing or two about walking away from a hit. But believe me, if Warner walks away, he isn't walking away from a hit. He would be doing the opposite. The Cardinals were a good story this year. But watch, the penny-pinching owner is going to find a way to send Anquan Boldin out of town. The team won't find a credible replacement for Mike Gandy. No big money for a running back. In other words, the Cardinals will be the Cardinals again. That will end up getting Kurt killed.

There's also this little issue of the Super Bowl loser not making the playoffs the following year. My advice for Kurt would be to retire. Let Matt Leinart take over the team and finish 5-11 next season. Then, Kurt could return the following season, lead them back to the playoffs and enjoy the good life.

Just don't let them write your character out of the show. Believe me, I know all too well.

Monday, February 02, 2009

Steelers beat my record

Max McGee joined The Hater Nation as a corespondent for Super Bowl 43. And he contributed just one post, when he promised like five. But how he won't go away, so why not, I'm too lazy to post now anyway. Take it away, Max.

Congratulations Steelers, you are now halfway to our mark of 12 championships. That's right fruit lips, the NFL has had titles long before the Super Bowl started. Hell, I have five titles of my own. The Packers organization has 12 world championships. The Steelers have only six. The Packers are only a few years older, too, as the Steelers started in 1933. So don't give me any gruff about our early titles.

Now I would like to share a few observations about the Super Bowl. First, I was getting wobbly in my boots when Jeff Reed was warming up for a potential tying kick. He was the only guy getting any face time for boozing. If he would have missed that kick, he would have doomed us all. We would have had a lot of do-gooders out there in the NFL. And we don't need any of that crap. We want football players to be men.

That leads me to my second point. The Cardinals weren't man enough to win the Super Bowl. Quentin Demps laid out Kurt Warner -- the machine I think you guys call him -- in the NFC Championship Game. And those pansies did nothing. No retaliation or anything. If anybody had tried that with Bart Starr, we would have sent their guy to the hospital. The Cardinals should have knocked the crap out of Donovan McNabb. Or maybe some guy who is actually good, like Brian Westbrook.

And now look at this punk from the Cardinals.

What's he doing? Fight back right there. Don't let that guy take advantage of you. The Steelers were completely out-thugging the Cardinals and nobody took a shot at Ben Roethlisberger. Though, with all of the referees throwing Terrible Towels on the field, they might have been ejected. But somebody needed to take a stand.

Don't let him push you around. If you let them push you around like that, you deserve to lose. The Cardinals need to get a little tougher. So congratulations, Steelers.

Who wants a drink?

Sunday, February 01, 2009

The Post Mortem

The only thing missing from Super Bowl XLIII was Roger Goodell running on to the field, screaming "Ring the bell. Ring the bell," while handing the trophy to Ben Roethlisberger telling him to run back to the locker room (while looking pissed off). Then Kurt Warner could have spit in McMah ... err ... Goodell's face, punched him and then started making an "AFL" signs with his fingers.

Here's some advice Kurt. When you are in the booking meeting, and they tell you ... "You are going to throw a desperation pass in the final seconds," don't believe them.

Not that there is any conspiracy or anything. Though, if somebody can produce the video where Santonio Holmes got that second foot down, it would be greatly appreciated. But when you are looking for angles, booking the former drug dealer to Super Bowl MVP, that's a pretty compelling story. And with so many Steelers fans in the stands, it makes sense to send the crowd home happy.

Raven and Seahawks fans now have some company, as the Cardinals join a group of teams wondering why the Steelers always get the benefit of the doubt on every call. In fact, watching the Steelers play in a Super Bowl is akin to watching Duke play in Cameron Indoor Arena. They might as well just have Dickie V. calling these games.

No matter what the call is on the field, it always seems to go in the Steelers favor. If the Steelers get near the end zone; touchdown. If a Steelers receiver looks like he caught the ball; automatic completion. A quarterback may or may not have thrown the ball; automatic fumble. The Cardinals had to waste a challenge on a blatant forward pass in the first half. In fact, the officiating was so horrible, the Cardinals had to use both challenges early.

Not that the Cardinals didn't make their mistakes (Kurt Warner's interception being one), but the Steelers are always given the benefit of the doubt and -- funny -- there is never enough evidence to overturn the original call. And seriously, they couldn't spend the extra two minutes to review that final fumble?

The obvious answer here is that the NFL wanted to rush the end of the game. The league didn't want a lengthy review running into valuable prime time television. And let's face it, the NFL is nothing more than a revenue generating machine. The fact that this was a great game was merely a bonus. Why muck it up with a review. A Super Bowl is never going to end that way.

The odds of the Cardinals pulling that game out was remote, but the NFL opened itself up for criticism for not reviewing that final play. And it's a shame, too. This might have been one of the greatest Super Bowl, ever. Instead, it's going to be remembered for it's Soprano's-like finish. The only thing missing was Journey.

  • For the record, Holmes used a "prop" during his end zone celebration, and the Steelers should have been penalized 15 yards. Holmes used the ball as a "shaker" and mimicked LeBron James' pregame ritual. Dumb rule, for sure, but it has been called all year.
  • Credit must be given to Ben Roethlisberger. He led the team down the field for the winning touchdown and he's now a two-time Super Bowl champion. Not bad for a guy five years in.
  • The Kurt Warner Machine redeemed his first-half interception, but just couldn't do enough to get his team the win. Still, this run to the Super Bowl has earned his spot in the Hall of Fame. There isn't even much of an argument. And you had all better hope that I don't end up with a vote on the Hall of Fame committee some day.
  • Larry Fitzgerald is the truth. Wow. He would have been the MVP if the Cardinals could have played a little defense in the final minute. NFL Network's Rich Eisen predicted that this would be the first Super Bowl to go into overtime. Having the Cardinals lose is worth it, just for him to be wrong. At least he won't try to write another book again.
A TV station in Tucson had its Super Bowl broadcast interrupted with some porn. And that seems fitting since the Cardinals were getting screwed anyway.

Is Super Bowl Monday a holiday yet?