Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Post Mortem: Yanks Get Money's Worth

There was a great illustration of what the Yankees have been paying for all of these years in the seventh inning of yesterday's game. The Yankees had bases loaded, no outs, with Mark Teixeira and Alex Rodriguez coming to the plate.

Did anybody, anywhere expect the Yankees to score here?

I had a text message all ready for Reader Matt P., but didn't want to jinx anything, so I never sent it. But this situation was more perfectly scripted than Saturday night's UFC title "fight."

Teixeira struck out. A-Rod hit into a double play. And in the drafts of my text folders sat this unsent message: the (rhymes with bunt) strikes out, a-rod dp.

And for an added bonus, A-Rod struck out to end the game, too. In fact, that was such a forgone conclusion that KCOP started airing the postgame show while A-Rod was going through the pretense of pretending to be a Major League player. C.C. Safattia allowing five runs in just over six innings. And legions of Yankees fans once again filed out of Angels Stadium having watched their $200 million team lose to the Angels again.

The Angels without soon-to-be AL MVP Torii Hunter, Juan Rivera and Vlade. The Yankees were out-slugged by Erick Aybar and Brandon Wood.

At what point do Yankees fans stop enduring the kick to the groin that the Angels continue to deliver time after time. Every time the Yankees come to Anaheim, they look like that passed out chick with the magic marker drawings on her face in those anti-drug ads. But those East Coast morons continue to spend their money to come to the game and watch their team lose. But maybe it is a fitting memorial for the Yankees fans. Most of them are losers who couldn't hack it in their hometown, so they had to flee to Southern California to try to start over.

Right now, you would have to imagine that Teixeira would like to do that, but it's too late. The Angels are much better off without Teixeira. Kendry Morales has proven to be his equal and, let's face it, Morales is actually clutch. And he doesn't need a bogus stadium to inflate his home run totals.

HOW SWEET was it that Derek Jeter's error led to Aybar's heroics on Friday night? For those who missed it, Jeter dropped a popup by Angels catcher Mike Napoli. Aybar then hit a three-run home run in the extended inning that pushed the Angels over the top.

Of course, most of you did miss it because an error by Jeter is hidden like the microfilm of the JFK assassination that Sean Connery hid in that church pew in Fort Walton, Kansas in The Rock. If the situation was reversed, we'd have an Outside the Lines special on the grit of the Yankees and how they turn any error into their advantage. Instead, FOX and ESPN hid the story.

And notice, the Angels were close to throwing the ball away on Sunday, but the Yankees couldn't capitalize on those mistakes.

AGAIN IS anybody buying that the UFC is real? Brock Lesnar was in the title fight on Saturday night. Who was his opponent, the Rock? HHH? The Greek actually saw the fight and said that after Lesnar won, he flipped off the crowd. The Greek surmised that Lesnar should change his name to Stone Cold and have his wife Sable toss him beers after each winning, taking a turn on all eight of the ring posts.

That's not a bad idea.

AND FINALLY, why are they still showing Billy Mays commericals? Billy Mays here, uh, no you are not. Does this seem wrong to anybody else?


8 comments:

Robster said...

Brock Lesnar definitely ripped off SCSA's act right down to the pair of birds he flipped to the fans. I'm just waiting to see if he's going to crack open a couple of Brockweisers (Coors Light) next time out.

The Hatriot said...

I hear that MLB has passed a new rule: Every time some bandwagon "fan" from McMansion North Jersey, Methlab Bernadino or Flyover Pennsylvania buys a Yankee cap, they have to get Mike Scioscia's name tatooed on their ass. Mike also retains the rights to trade them for a carton of Kools over in C Block.

Why are you posting about the Glass-Jawed White Boy Full Employment Act (also known as the UFC)? Does anybody north of the Mason-Dixon or G.E.D. think it's not a scam?

Bokolis said...

Like the gangsters that spawned it, that NY attitude and mystique (which is what, when on the road, used to get us screw-faced by the dudes and laid by their girlfriends) is gone, as this town if filled with transplants and your towns are littered with our rejects. All we have now is imitations from those living on Long Island, Staten Island and in Jersey.

You can keep those losers, but I'd prefer them to the beaneating carpetbagers (most notably, the rule changing, welshing little cu...runt in the Mayor's office) that have come in their stead.

GMoney said...

Is it even possible to get more broken bat cheap hits than what the Angels deliver on a daily basis? Ridiculous.

Kendry Morales is just as good as Teix...you can't possibly believe that. I realize that it's cool to hate the Yankees but that's just absurd. Along those same lines, I would rather have Kei Igawa over Nick Adenhart.

Congrats on the sweep...you are only 2.5 months away from your yearly sweep at the hands of the Red Sox.

Bernard said...

Yankee fan using the Red Sox success over the Angels in the playoffs as ammunition to rag on Angels fan is absolutely ridiculous...

GMoney said...

Why? It just serves as a reminder that neither of our teams has a chance in Hell of going to the World Series.

And that makes me a sad panda.

The Hatriot said...

Look on the bright side, Yankee "Fan"! Pretty soon you can hang up the "NY" cap and put on that Cavs cap! Tell me, do you wear the Red Wings or Cowboys jersey with that?

The tards that Fox puts in the front row of WS games to pimp their shows think you're a bandwagon.

GMoney said...

Red Wings? Cowboys? Sir, you have insulted my honor. I challenge you to a duel.