Monday, June 01, 2009

Mama, I'm Coming Home

The St. Louis FC is up for sale according to the Post Dispatch. Current owner Chip Rosenbloom long maintained that he wasn’t going to sell the team. And that obviously was lie. There was no way that he was going to be able to hold on to the team because of inheritance taxes. But he wanted to make sure that he gave his mother (the filthy whore) the proper sendoff that she deserved. And with a 2-14 record in 2008 that certainly was a befitting farewell, though one could argue that two wins was too many for her.

Now that the season of the Georgia patches has faded away, Rosenbloom is ready to sell the team.

And of course, there is one website that pointed this out to year last year while all of the big boys chose to ignore this angle. But that’s cool. This isn't a time to gloat.

Rosenbloom wants to sell the team to a local owner in St. Louis. Right. Do you think anybody in St. Louis has the money to buys the team? Not frigging likely. To quote Jack Buck, "if St. Louis was its own nation, it would be a third-world country. Ethiopia would be sending them wheat."

So don’t count on a local bidder to step up.

Co-owner Stan Kroenke would like to own the team, but NFL rules prevent him from owning professional franchises in other leagues. (He owns the Avalanche and Nuggets along with the Pepsi Center.) So he’s out. But he’s going to hang on to his 40 percent, meaning that the new owners won’t have to fully fund the $ 1 billion that the team is worth.

The only alternative is for a buyers in Los Angeles to purchase the team and move the club out to the City of Industry. And believe me, the wheels have long been in motion for this deal. I would be surprised if a deal already hasn’t been worked out in principle. But the Rams will be playing in Los Angeles soon.

Some might point out that the St. Louis FC has a lease that cannot be broken until 2014. That doesn’t matter. The new owners will pay whatever fee is necessary to ensure that the Edwards James Dome turns into the world’s largest WalMart.

Make no mistake, though, this is happening. And St. Louis should just surrender the team now in time for the 2009 season. Do the right thing, St. Louis, let the team come home.

8 comments:

Robster said...

The question is, will the Rams beat the Chargers back to L.A.? The Bolts still don't have a stadium and the penalty to buy out their lease goes down dramatically after the 2009 season.

Diane said...

When your team packs up and moves, you don't welcome them back. If you need some advice on how to properly hold a grudge, let me know.

Fuck the Rams.

Anonymous said...

I believe you should refer to Georgia as "skanky whore" not "filthy whore".

The Hatriot said...

It's all well to make fun of a family's loss, but I doubt anyone here saw the touching tribute Chip paid on Mothers' Day, when he went to Georgia's grave and slipped a one dollar bill down between the headstone and the ground...

Pierre LePud said...

Co-owner Stan Kroenke would like to own the team, but NFL rules prevent him from owning professional franchises in other leagues. (He owns the Avalanche [snip] )So then, technically, he can buy the Rams.

Bokolis said...

When are you appearing on CNBC to discuss?

The Rams vs Bolts issue is valid; there's no way Califas is building each of them their own stadium. Assuming a sale gets done any time soon, the Rams surely win the battle for the remote.

NFL Jennifer said...

"Alleged" skanky murdering whore.

THN said...

I hear you, Diane. But it's not like the team will have the same owner. Georgia would never be welcomed back, but a new ownership should be.