Tuesday, June 30, 2009

JaMarcus Russell: Fat Load

JaMarcus Russell was starting to feel the heat this year when the Raiders brought in Jeff Garcia, and seemingly any available quarterback out there. In fact, Al Davis told his scouting staff to bring in that Shane Falco chap he enjoyed watching so much.

Message received.

Russell then decided to act like he wanted to keep his job. He told everybody to work hard. He told all of his teammates that they were going to get together for extra work, outside of OTA.

Russell looked like the model of commitment. Until he skipped the final day of voluntary minicamp.

And we know just how voluntary those workouts are. Kind of like when the boss drops those Girl Scout cookies forum on his desk. Or asks if you wouldn't mind coming in for a few hours on the weekends.

Russell always seemed more enamored with being a celebrity and being a pro football quarterback. Not so much on the working. Well, he won't have to worry about the later much longer. Russell is going to be watching Raiders games from the sidelines because Garcia is going to get that job.

THN Pays Tribute To Michael Jackson And The Gridiron Apocalypse Simultaneously!

With this video full of win!

Monday, June 29, 2009

Snakes on a Plane

Actually, that would be the least of your worries. Air Asia has signed a deal to sponsor the Oakland Raiders.

Air Asia does not, however, offer service to Oakland.

Seems that Al Davis had to go far out of his way to find a company that had no idea just how badly his team sucked. And he found it. In Asia. You would have to imagine that even the Somali pirates would have known better.

Now Air Asia passengers will be able to get on a plane with the Raiders logo. And I ask, is that really fair? Now, if you or I were at LAX and we saw Southwest roll up with a Raiders plane, we'd be like, "no way I'm getting on that (expletive) thing." Because we know better. Think of all of those unsuspecting Asian people getting on a Raiders plane and having no idea that it's doomed like a pass from Marc Wilson.

And really, we can all agree that one of these planes are going down, right?

Those Asian people getting on those planes are akin to all of those idiot tough guys with Chinese characters tattooed on their arms, not knowing what they really mean (normally small penis). But at least those morons get to live.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Post Mortem: That Was Cool for a Half

Can we be honest for a moment? Hating on soccer is so dated. Kind of like the Jim Rome Show. Which, incidentally, continues to hate on soccer though it has long since past fashionable.

With that in mind, the U.S. team's loss to Brazil on Sunday was a major disappointment. The U.S. soccer team gets the same kind of fans that say, the Los Angeles Kings enjoy. The team has a small number of loyal, hardcore fans. But when they win, the fringe fans come out in droves.

So it's little surprise that interest was high in (whatever the name of that) Cup Finals. And little surprise that the U.S. team came out strong, but faded down the stretch. The U.S. team is like one of those small college teams that is slugging with the big boys, but ends up folding down the stretch. Like a March Madness team that pulls a couple of upsets in the opening rounds of the opening tournament, but eventually falls to one of the sport's super powers.

And in the end, you wonder if anybody will remember those huge upsets, or if the sting of losing that two-goal lead will be what lingers. Right now, I'd lead towards the former.

Soccer has long been viewed as a low-scoring, snooze-fest. That's just not the case. Attach seven points to each goal scored on Sunday, and instead of a 3-2 squeaker, you get a nice, familiar 21-14 final.

That doesn't seem so dull does it? And imagine if teams got a fraction of a point for corner kicks.

This is a disappointing game for the U.S. on the scoreboard. And while I hate moral victories, you have to appreciate what the team pulled off.

Now, if the team flames out in the World Cup qualifying, then all bets are off.

HOPE YOU saw where Chad Ochocinco compared the death of Michael Jackson to 9/11. Having athletes communicate directly and eliminating "I was misquoted" is awesome. Now, Ochocinco eventually back-tracked on his statements. But come on, he made an analogy. Was it apt, but come on. That's pretty much the only argument I can think of right now. Sure it was bad, but come on. Come on is such a great way to end an argument.

THE BUCCANEERS are no longer in the Plaxico Burress sweepstakes. In other words, they hate winning. Sorry, Scott.

BILLS LB Paul Posluszny says don't believe the hype about Terrell Owens. The receiver has been a model teammate. And this is news? This is what they all say at the start. And then he becomes T.O. again. Just be sure to watch the Superstars this week. Oh yeah, he'll be back.

THE CHARGERS' version of the single-wing will be known as "The Frog," with LaDainian Tomlinson taking on the role of quarterback. Oh man, I'm so happy people don't want to take LT in fantasy leagues this year. He's going to have a monster year, people.

THE SAINTS are now clearly Drew Brees' team as he is becoming the top QB in club history. Have the Saints ever had a great quarterback? Maybe Kenny Stabler, but he was at the end of his career. Weird seeing the Saints with an actual legitimate quarterback. Because honestly, there isn't one that stands out in their history.

THE LIONS are trying to win fans over, inviting former season-ticket holders to minicamp in an effort to get them back. How about winning. That might do something to motivate fans to come back to the Lions. Or at least become Lions fans. Tickets to minicamp isn't going to cut it.

AND FINALLY, poor Michael Jackson. All of those tributes for him are now going to end now that Billy Mays has passed away and stolen the spotlight. Sure Jackson had sex with a lot of young boys wrote Thriller. But that was like 1982. Billy Mays was here and now. A true American icon we could all believe in.

Going to pour out some Oxiclean out right now for Billy. His wife should do a commercial. I'm the widow Mays ... did you know that Oxiclean gets the smell of death out of your house?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Weak Ender: Another Cannonball Member Gone?

That's right, no image in this week's ender. Take a moment and imagine the image of Farrah Fawcett, in her one piece bathing suit, flashing that beautiful smile. Probably one of the most lasting images of the 1970s.

There is no need to post that picture here because you can already picture it in your mind.

(And if you are too young to have been around for the 1970s, this is what we are talking about.)

The critics said that Charlie's Angels was the beginning of "Jiggle TV." A notion that sex sold on television. The only difference between that era of the 1970s and the current crop of bimbos is that those women were sexy. The mere image of Farrah in a one-piece bathing suit was titillating. Filled the fantasy of young men for a generation.

And to be honest, there are many who will contend that Farrah was the least of the three Charlie's Angels. They aren't wrong.

But that was a sexy era. Charlie's Angels. Battle of the Network Stars. A generation could be turned on by Farrah's one-piece. Charlene Tilton going into the dunk tank. Compare that to today's bimbos who have to garner attention by flashing their beavers when coming out of a parked car.

Going back to that poster, how many of you had that as one of your first posters? I had that, a Dallas Cowboys cheerleaders poster and a Go With the Rams poster on my wall. One day, I ripped (like slightly tore) one of my sister's Kiss posters (she had like 90 of them). My punishment from my mom was to allow my sister to rip every poster off my wall.

The Farrah one hurt the worst.

And years later, when I found out my sister was a lesbian, I'm surprised that she just didn't keep the poster.

For the record, I have not watched Cannonball Run since Dom died, so the next time I do, well, it will be dusty in the house.

AND SINCE we're being nice to Farrah, here's my take on Michael Jackson. I want to see the body. Michael sightings are going to dwarf Elvis sightings from years ago. Put that body on Hollywood Blvd., like Morgan Freeman in Unforgiven (not Tombstonee as I idiotically stated earlier). And speaking of that ... please, spell the name correctly on the tombstone.

THE CAVS are going to have some awesome pregame introductions, a point raised by Reader Matt P. But see people, I told you the NBA was fixed. The Association didn't want to give the fans LeBron vs. Kobe until Shaq came aboard. Who is laughing now?

THE CLIPPERS are going to regret passing on that point guard. Blake Griffin is not an NBA player. Patty Mills should have stayed in school.

AND FINALLY, a new feud? Chad Ochocinco vs. Shawne Merriman. Looks awesome!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

A Lesson on How to Deal With T.O.

Polish supermodel Joanna Krupa finally did something that Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb and Tony Romo didn’t have the balls to do – tell T.O. that he sucked as a teammate. To his face.

“Un(expletive)believable” was one of the phrases uttered when Terrell Owens was making like Leon Lett on a cargo net, which nearly eliminated his team. (And you can bet that the producers were pissed that Owens is already out of the competition.) Owens and Krupa were teammates in the eight-team Superstars competition.

“I don’t want a teammate like that, who calls himself an athlete. What does he get a $1 million for?” Krupa asked.

When Owens tried to console Krupa, she told him to shut up. And really, if you lost to David Charvet in an athletic competition. But to the former Baywatch star’s credit, he was actually beating Owens before he got caught in the cargo net.

Krupa refused to talk after her team was eliminated (by Dan Cortez of all people, creating an 80s-shot of double trouble), saying she was going to be a “primmadonna” like her teammate who had earlier refused to talk after losing a kayak competition. (Really, why do you have to put the brothers in the water?)

But what does that say about our current NFL quarterbacks when it takes a supermodel to finally put T.O. in his place? Hopefully Bills QB Trent Edwards was paying attention.

This however, looks like my new favorite show. I like that team of Brandi Chastain and Juilo Iglesias Jr. looks like the team to beat so far. Though Jeff Kent looked pleased that he wasn't the biggest d-bag around for a change.

And yeah, we'd put some video up (it's making the rounds), but you know how we've done recently with the video.

Ah hell, this video will likely last for about 10 minutes.

Eric Dickerson can suck it

Eric Dickerson does not have a lot of love for Los Angeles. Still, to this day. (From TMZ.com, via Profootballtalk.com)

“First of all, L.A. don’t deserve a team,” Dickerson said. “They ain’t gonna support it.”

Dickerson then made an analogy.

“L.A. is like a bad kid,” Dickerson said. “[H]is ball is laying over there, he don’t wanna play with the ball. But when . . . somebody else picks the ball up, then he wants the ball.”

Dickerson then explained the success of the Lakers thusly: “When the Lakers are winning, it’s crowded. But when the Lakers are losing, you could roll a stick of dynamite in there and blow up nothing but the floor.”

He’s dead wrong about the Lakers. That team has always and will continue to always draw. And the Lakers will never be bad. The organization just won’t allow it. The Dodgers also draw three million people no matter what their record is. Orange County was supportive of the Rams, too.

But what could have sparked this outburst? Why was it particularly aimed at the Lakers? Still pissed at Georgia Frontandrearie/John Shaw for never giving him his money?

My guess is that Dickerson is still peeved that he wasn’t beloved in Southern California like Magic Johnson was during his tenure. Like Wayne Gretzky was when he arrived in town after Dickerson had left. The jealously is obviously still there.

Part of the problem, of course, could have been that Eric Dickerson was, well, a dick. Nobody liked him. Even Rams fans had a hard time warming up to the guy. I own an Eric Dickerson jersey, but it’s not like I would ever want to spend any amount of time with him.

Monday, June 22, 2009

Yankees Fans: Can't Take Them Anywhere

The Post Mortem: Duval a hero?

David Duval’s run for the U.S. Open title brought out the full hyperbole of those who follow sports, calling it courageous and heart tugging. Duval was once thought to be a challenger of Tiger Woods, but fell off the map of the golfing world. Meaning that this story should have been a real tear-jerker. Until you realize one thing.

The dude plays golf for a living.

I don’t care how tough your life has become. I don’t care if you went from the No. 2 ranking in the world to No. 922. You are playing golf for a living.

Give your average schulb the opportunity to play golf for a living and most would gladly take it.

Have a tough day at the office? Who cares you are golfing. If you miss the cut, great, four day weekend!

There is no downside to finishing 65th in a tournament and then pocketing a check that is more than a lot of us making in the week.

So watching Duval out there with a new beer gut, and a lip full of dip might have been the only redeeming thing with Tiger struggling. But don’t call it courageous.

THE WEBSITE Pro Football Talk (or, Drew Rosenhaus’ personal blog … that is Michael Florio’s source) is reporting that Brett Favre has already signed a deal with the Vikings. Are we supposed to be surprised by any of this? There is no doubt that Favre and the Vikings have already agreed on the particulars. The only hangup is the arm. Favre is schedule to have an appointment with James Andrews this week to see how the arm is progressing.

ARE THEY really not going to name the new Omaha stadium Rosenblatt Stadium? Progress is one thing, but good God, you can’t put the Rosenblatt name on the new building? The ESPN announcers have been trying to justify it by saying that the College World Series is about Omaha, not necessarily Rosenblatt. That’s just ludicrous. Maybe if you are going with a different name, maybe you can go with Garrido Field or something. But it seems strange not to go with Rosenblatt. But given the lack of sentimentality in sports, it’s not really surprising.

AND FINALLY, thankfully the Dodgers were victorious on Saturday night in Anaheim. Normally, you don’t root for your team to lose, but if it is going to impact your wellbeing, well, you root for your life at that point. But to be perfectly frank, the Dodgers fans sitting on the club level on Saturday night were almost hospitable. We waxed poetic about the Lakers recent triumphs and how nearly everybody in the crowd on Saturday was watching that parade and cheering on the world champions later in the week.

And then some Dodgers fan starts throwing punches and nearly pushes a guy off the club level during an altercation, and all of that went away.

And as a reminder, start getting in the habit of dropping the “blogspot” off this site’s name.

Friday, June 19, 2009

The Weak Ender: Tony Romo Fat?

Cowboys QB Tony Romo was ripped by offensive coordinator Jason Garret because of his conditioning. But it was just the outfit that he was wearing and those grandma jeans.

Don't worry, Romo will be in great shape once the season starts. How can he not because his girlfriend is in such killer shape.

Hey, it's not to say that Romo is out of shape, but the Cowboys are going to be introducing a third jersey -- a Cowboys jersey in Hawaiian print.

THE NFL made a surprising move the other day when Mr. Goodell suspended Browns WR Donte Stallworth. Can you believe that ... the NFL suspending a player for killing another person? That never happens. Normally you have to gamble or take diet pills for the NFL to get pissed.

Murder, however, is now against the league bylaws. That's good to know.

The league is suspending Stallworth who will serve a one-month jail sentence for taking another man's life.

Here's the thing, though. Stallworth got his sentenced reduced as part of a plea agreement with the victim's family. Stallworth will pay out tons of money, but only serve 30 days in jail. Can't Plaxico Burress do the same thing? And since he was the victim, can't he agree to a plea deal with the victim (himself) for a reduced sentence?

Why hasn't his lawyer thought of this already? Burress should be paying THN for this prime real estate advice.

BENGALS WR Chad Ochocinco is one, dumb SOB, but he is highly amusing. Ochocinco has been threatening to fight everybody from Mike Golic (can't blame him) to Solomon Wilcots. He's guaranteeing the playoffs (and he's right, the Bengals will be going to the playoffs) and now he's going to move in with QB Carson Palmer.

If Michael Strahan can get his own sit-com, then this perfect-strangers mix of 85 and Palmer should be highly entertaining.

HARD TO imagine news I'm more excited about then the proposed super baby of Tom Brady and Gisele. Still think Tommy Boy is making a huge mistake by having Gisele getting all stretched out while Bridget Moynahan is willing to take the brunt of the baby-making process. Think, man.

Here's the question, though. Which super Brady baby will end up being the better quarterback? This second kid probably ends up being taller.

EVERYBODY IS blaming A-Rod being off the juice for his recent (lack of) performance. And how do you like that Yankees, losing two of three at home to the Senators (I don't care). But the problem isn't A-Rod quitting the drugs. It's Yoko Hudson. But instead of ruining one of the greatest American rock bands of its generation, Hudson is ruining the Yankees. So at least she's giving back.

ANYBODY BUMMED that Sammy Sosa turned out to be a phony? He full us all. Well, at least he fooled me. Certainly some bitter White Sox fan will claim -- "he never got me." Fine. But Sammy seemed too good to be true. Turns out he was.

AND FINALLY, the Freeway Series returns to Anaheim Stadium. And let's hope that Dodger Fan got out enough angst during the Lakers parade to not even bother with coming to Anaheim.

Alyssa Milano is more than welcome to attend, though.

This is easily the worst series of the dreaded three Yankees-Red Sox-Dodgers. The East Coast a-holes are bad enough, but a Dodger Fan could end up taking your life.

Yes, even Milano if the wife ever catches me making eyes with her.

The Angels have proven that they can win the NL West, sweeping the Padres and Giants. This will truly be a test to see if the team is ready to play with the big boys. A barometer series if you will. The Dodgers maybe be a little inflated because they get a full season filling up on these creme puffs. So this is just as big of a series for them, too.

Should be fun. But hopefully those guys caught on tape thrashing a bus and newspaper boxes are still in jail and won't be able to make it to the game.

As a public service announcement, get ready to drop the blogspot. Start coming to the site through thehaternation.com from now on. In a matter of weeks, THN will be off the blogspot and will have its own unique name. Anybody excited? Didn't think so.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Everybody Loves A Parade

Hard not to get chills while watching the victorious Lakers walk down the steps of the Coliseum to a sea of 90,000 purple-and-gold clad Lakers fans.

Thankfully all of them had their furloughs on Wednesday. Wasn't that convenient?

Watching the Lakers greats of the past combined with the new generation -- Pao Gasol and Adam Morrison are going to get me to watch a regular season game yet -- was just a sight to behold. A great day to be a Southern California sports fan. But a sad day, too.

Watching the city rally around the Lakers, you can't help but wonder why the region couldn't rally around an NFL team. Sure, you can make the argument that Southern California fans are too splintered. But seriously, 90,000 people at the Coliseum and hundreds of thousands more on the parade route?

And we still don't have a football team.

But then you realize that the NFL just isn't geared for Southern California. The Eastern seaboard and fly-over America is suited for the fickleness of the NFL. Teams are good one year, bad the next. That doesn't fly out here. Southern Californians have this weird notion that if you are going to pay $100 to watch a football team, that team must be good.

We're morons, right? We should bankrupt our cities even further by funneling money into a franchise that might go 8-8 one year, followed by a 5-11, with a 9-7 playoff team the following year.

Sports like the NBA and MLB are more suited for Southern California where the inequities of incomes and an hour-glass dispersal of teams are common place. The Lakers, Angels and Dodgers can spend the money to be competitive each year. (Though that doesn't explain the Clippers.)

You don't get that in the NFL.

But still, you have to wonder what the NFL in Los Angeles would be like with an owner like Robert Craft who has sustained excellence. Or maybe a team modeled after the Steelers -- a team that's in the playoffs seemingly every year. Of course, we would probably end up with a Jerry Jones or Daniel Snyder.

So forgive me if I dream a little bit, if but for a moment. Pretending that this crowd was filling to Coliseum to welcome the 1999 Super Bowl champion Los Angeles Rams.

Live from the Lakers parade!

At least The Hatriot was man enough to defy his boss. With my former group that I was working for, Lakers Parade Day was an unofficial holiday. Not so much anymore. Stupid East Coast transplants.

Sure that money could have been used for a better purpose. But that's what rich people do. They got together and funded a parade for the Lakers celebration.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Artie Lange is my hero

Artie Lange was unbelievable during the premiere of Joe Buck Live on HBO. Buck, of course, is a pompous a-hole and was billed as the irreverent sports broadcaster.

How does that look now?

Buck has the sense of humor as your typical LDS stable boy. He knew what he was doing when he booked Lange on the show, so you can't really get too upset when he does what he does best.

Lange was spot-on in nearly every joke that he told at Buck's expense. And you guys know me, I don't typically work blue here, but I don't fold like a card table when somebody drops an f-bomb. It's just not my style, but I can still roll with punches.

Buck, an alleged professional, could not. Buck should be thanking Lange for making his dull show interesting. Honestly, if it wasn't for Brett Favre and Lange, this show would have been a complete disaster. No wonder Jack Buck faked his own death to distance himself from his son.

Beware, there is some salty language here.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Brett Favre is coming back. Maybe.

Brett Favre is coming back to the NFL.


The enigmatic quarterback appeared on Joe Buck Live on HBO and admitted that he was considering a return to the NFL, and that the Minnesota Vikings would make the most sense because of the offense that Brad Childress runs.

And yes, he knows that you are all growing tired of "Favre watch."

Favre, speaking for the first time since speculation began about his return, did clear up some rumors that had been circling recently. Favre confirmed that he had surgery 2-and-a-half weeks ago with Dr. James Andrews to repair his damaged shoulder. Favre also confirmed that a Vikings trainer visited him in Mississippi to go over some stretching and strengthening exercises for his shoulder.

Favre was even asked to attend the Vikings Organized Team Activities but chose not to attend because he did not want to create a media frenzy. Especially if his shoulder does not completely heel.

That injured shoulder will ultimately determine if Favre will return or not. Favre said that he gutted through the pain last season with the Jets, but would not go through that again.

But the Vikings? Favre said that it would be strange to wear the purple of the Vikings but pointed out that Vince Lombardi went to the Redskins and nobody called him a traitor.

Then again, NFL Network's Scott Hanson wasn't parked in front of Lombardi's house reporting about his flirtation with the Redskins.

Favre might have summed it up best though with one of his closing remarks, "It's football. It's not life and death."

Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Post Mortem: This One's For Chick

You can imagine that it got a little dusty at the THN headquarters when you stopped to ponder one thing.

Adam Morrison is now an NBA champion.

Only kidding. But this is the first true post-Chick Hearn championship that the Lakers have won. And something just doesn't feel right, but we're getting closer to healing.

To be honest, I don't have a big connection with this current Lakers squad. Though the car-flag honk in me became more enthused with a Lakers championship as it grew nearer. What can I say, a true Angelino at heart. But rolling down the 405 after the victory, the local 103.1 (yes, they still have local radio stations) blared, "I Love LA," "Another One Bites the Dust," "Dancing in the Streets," and an assortment of songs in celebration to the Lakers. The "I Love LA" was more fitting because it didn't really sing so much about this team, but about all of those great Lakers teams of the past. Winning in the Forum, the Boston Garden and Forum Blue. That moment gave a nod to those Lakers team that I loved in the past and helped me truly celebrate this championship.

And as Reader Matt P. put it, I can still hear Chick saying, "Your World Champion Los Angeles Lakers radio network." Yep, this is a good day to be a Lakers fan.

And imagine my chagrin when I was escorted out of the local Best Buy trying to boost a flat-screen television. I told them that I was rioting, but they weren't having any of it. This town sure doesn't know how to celebrate anymore. Though I did have a Randy Newman CD in my pocket.

The only thing really left to say now is suck it, Red. Hopefully Hitler and you shared a consolation cigar in hell watching Phil Jackson break your mark.

TORII HUNTER is the MVP of the league and there should be no debate about it. Whomever you think is more deserving, well, you are wrong.

THE STANLEY Cup Finals Game 7 was everything that you would want a finals to be. The only bummer is that most of my friends who still follow hockey are Red Wings fans. But that was the type of game hockey needs to get people fired up again.

And I am. In fact, I'm committed to following the NHL playoffs next year. If the Kings make it. So there you go. But I'll probably watch some regular season games and get back into it. Hey, baby steps here.

Speaking of local radio, I remember when KROQ played that Gary Glitter song that the Kings popularized in the 1990s (and was copied by every other team in the world after that) for an hour straight after the Kings defeated the Maple Leafs in the Campbell Conference finals.

BARRETT ROBBINS believes that if he didn't miss the Super Bowl, the Raiders would have beaten the Buccaneers. Yeah, not so much.

WHY WAS the Yankees victory over the Mets on Friday night considered one of the greatest games in MLB history? Because ESPN was certainly treating it that way. Holy Lord, it was a dropped pop fly. Does this mean that A-Rod is going to be considered clutch? Poor K-Rod, though.

THN PATRON Saint Jon Gruden is still spreading the word to youths at his recent football camp in Florida.

During a portion of the film session in which he was breaking down the skills of a series of quarterbacks, Gruden asked his audience whether anyone knew who drafted former LSU quarterback Jamarcus Russell.

"The Raiders,'' a few campers shouted. "That's right, the Raiders," Gruden said. "Anyone here like the Raiders?''

"No,'' the campers shouted back.

"Me neither,'' Gruden said.

AND FINALLY, the 1990s Cowboys still own Brett Favre. Check out this latest blast from Michael Irvin. The Hall of Fame receiver said that it was time for Favre to retire for good, while making the rounds promoting his new reality TV series "4th and Long" (via the Los Angeles Times):
    "Listen, Favre's 100 years old; stop this already.

    "This is what's killing everybody. Every time Favre says, 'I want to come back,' it's like everybody on ESPN says, 'Whatever team he says he wants to come to, he makes them automatically a Super Bowl contender.'

    "They said that same stuff last year with the Jets, and Favre gave out toward the end of the season.

    "I love Favre and I think he's been a phenomenal talent for a long time. But when I think about it now, I say, 'Stop it already.' I don't mind that you still want to play football, but do you want to play so much, and you want to get back at [Green Bay General Manager] Ted Thompson so much, that you're willing to go back into Lambeau and hurt those fans that supported you for so long?"

Irvin is the second member of the Hall of Fame to recently speak out against Favre. Hall of Fame QB Fran Tarkenton was recently critical of Favre joining the Vikings. And by critical, we mean kicked the dude in the junk.

Some of you might agree with Irvin, but Favre did get hurt at the end of the season. And really, he's better than Tarvaris Jackson. A Super Bowl contender? That remains to be seen, but he's better than most of the jabronies out there right now. Honestly, do you think Trent Green wouldn't be a better option at this point? Why don't the old guys continue to get a chance? Jeff Garcia in Oakland, another old guy better than a current guy.

These so-called coaching gurus are so eager to develop the next great quarterback, they ignore some pretty damn good quarterbacks already in the league.

Thanks to Scott over at Buc Stats for the link.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Weak Ender: Kendra is pregnant

Former Girl Next Door Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant. And if Hef didn't know any better, he's going to start to believe that she was fooling around on him before they broke up.

But I'm a positive person who likes to believe in the best in people, so I'll pretend that Kendra and her fiance -- Hank Baskett? Reggie Brown? DeSean Jackson? -- just recently got pregnant.

Because really, who could do that to Hef?

Hopefully they can find a way to work this child rearing into a reality show, but the happy couple will likely just keep a low profile about the whole thing.

SPEAKING OF porn and football, Zero Tolerance Entertainment wants to place ads on the Texans' practice uniforms. ZTE is in the adult entertainment business. Not sure why anybody in the NFL would object to this since the league has been screwing the fans for years.

And that's not the weirdest thing to happen this week.

Rush Limbaugh could end up being the new owner of the St. Louis FC. And yet, it's still an improvement over Frontandrearie. One of my dear friends has been a life long FC fan, supporting the new branch in St. Louis. Can't even imagine what this is doing to him.

If Limbaugh is really interested in purchasing the FC, you could probably imagine many Missourians ready to help the team move out of town.

DEREK FISHER finally silenced the Lakers haters for good. Well, at least for this season. The Lakers won the NBA title on Thursday night, closing out the Magic in overtime for the second time in the series. Sure the Lakers need to win one more game, but the Magic are not winning three consecutive games. And they are not winning consecutive games in Los Angeles.

At least J.J. Manning is taking after his father's winning ways. He could find a dominating defense or Dominic Rhodes to gravy-train off.

Can't wait to see if Kobe comes out with a flow to challenge Shaq's "Tell me how my ass tastes."

CHAD OCHOCINCO did not get tattoos on his face, duping everybody into believing he had gone street rat crazy. Well, crazier. It's not like anybody thought Ochocinco was an intelligent guy anyway. But still, if you are on Twitter -- which my pals Lumps and Marc created -- you should follow his page.

ESPN THE Magazine is going to do an issue with sporting nudes, tastefully done. Of course. Yeah, this has been done before. Nobody cares. But it will be called the Body Issue. And if that's the case, Jessie Ventura had better be on that cover.

MARK SANCHEZ signed his deal with the Jets. No use getting too far ahead because the Super Bowl Buzz Kill will be starting soon. But, at least the top two quarterbacks picked are signed and ready for camp. That should give them a fighting chance.

AND FINALLY, probably the worst news possible in the Nick Adenhart car crash. The driver, Courtney Stewart had been drinking according to the OC Weekly. Not sure how this plays into everything. She wasn't legally drunk for a person of age, but was drunk for a minor. Stewart's mother was really damning of the driver that struck her daughter's car. But in some respects, this could have easily been reversed. This thing could get a whole lot uglier.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Zach Morris on Jimmy Fallon

I know, I'm lazy this week.

Crowder calls Ryan a Joker

Jets coach Rex Ryan -- perhaps taking after his outspoken father Buddy Ryan -- has wasted no time add heat to the already hot AFC East rivalry. Ryan has taken shots at Patriots coach Bill Belichick and has got into a verbal war with Dolphins LB Channing Crowder.

Ryan told reporters on Tuesday that he wasn't even sure who Crowder was:
    "All I know is that he's all tatted up, so I guess I ought to be nervous about him. He's right about one thing: I am a first-time head coach, but I've been around the game all my life. I'm no different than I've ever been, just that more people are listening.

    "The other thing is I think he's wrong because I do think you win in June. I think you win with your preparation and all that kind of stuff. If I was younger, I'd probably handle him myself."

Crowder, as you can imagine, wasn't impressed with Ryan's response and responded to the Miami Herald.
    ''Oh, Lord have mercy. What's wrong with him? Now he's talking about preparation? We play them twice this year. If he wants to be prepared, shouldn't he know the starting middle linebackers of his division rival?

    ''He says he'd take care of me if he was younger? I'd have beat the hell out of that big old joker. Or if he really wants to get retro, my daddy or my uncle could have handled him. Don't get big. Win with preparation? Start watching some tape and learn who your rival is. Come on now.''

We all realize that Rex is going to end up just like his daddy. I remember when Buddy was the coach of the Cardinals. He was running his mouth talking about how he was going to win the NFC East and all of that nonsense. So what happened in Week 1? The Rams beat the Cardinals 14-12. And mind you, this was during the "Major League" era of the Rams when John Shaw and Georgia Frontandrearie were offering the worst product imaginable to justify shopping the franchise around.

Some other news and notes around the Web this morning:

  • Jets RB Leon Washington is hinting of a holdout. Thomas Jones is already pissed. Watch the rookie in New York get that gig.

  • Eagles coach Andy Reid is wary of RB Brian Westbrook's injury, but remains optimistic. Yeah, I don't. LeSean McCoy is a name you should be familiar with.

  • Ravens TE L.J. Smith wants to prove that he's not injury prone. Here's a way to do that ... stop getting injured! But pairing yourself with TE Todd Heap will make you seem much less injury-prone by comparison.
  • The time is now for Raiders QB JaMarcus Russell and 49ers QB Alex Smith to show their stuff. But I'm not holding my breath.
  • I don't have a link for this, but Archie Manning was on Calvin Cowherd on Tuesday, explaing that it was the Giants defense that let down his boy, Eli. Way to point fingers you twit. How does he get away with this? The defense that Archie called out was the same defense that gave his boy a Super Bowl title. He should show some bloody respect.

Vote for Suzuki

One of Jon Wilhite's closest friends is current Oakland A's catcher Kurt Suzuki. Both men were Cal State Fullerton teammates, and fellow walk-ons together in 2004. Suzuki has spearheaded an effort to raise money for Wilhite's rehabilitation with a auction that you can find here.

You might notice that Jonathan Papelbon has donated a jersey to auction. So there goes another one of the players we love to hate turning out to be a good guy. Papelbon played at Goodwin Field as a member of Mississippi State (or so I have been told). I think it's fair to say that we will continue to root against Papelbon on the field, but have to applaud the guy for his efforts here. Instead, we'll just have to hate Josh Beckett.

Wilhite has fans to vote Suzuki for the All-Star game as a thank you for all of his efforts.

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

The Best Post Ever Written for THN*

Fletch here. Remember me? I mostly stick to writing about movies over at Blog Cabins (and comments here), but I just couldn't resist writing this rant the other day, and I knew Adam could use a day off, so I sent it his way. Luckily, the Godfather approved it. Now sit back and enjoy the history being made.

Over the past few weeks and months, I've toyed with the idea of setting up a blog called Instant History. See, during that time, there have been a few events (the Bulls-Celtics series, LeBron James' Game 2 ending 3-pointer) that have made many in the media go batsh*t crazy, calling whatever just happened "the best ____ to ever happen!"

February's Super Bowl between the Cardinals and the Steelers? You guessed it - possibly the best ever! George W. Bush? "The worst President ever!" Some random performance by a golfer shooting 60 - best ever!

Now I'm no historian, and as you might tell by my movie tastes, I'm certainly not one of those people that claims that everything that happened in the past is better just because it happened in the past. Fact is, these things were made for arguing - no one can ever be right because I'm afraid we can't actually have a 30-year old Michael Jordan and today's Kobe Bryant go out on the court and play one-on-one. Just like no one can honestly say if one series of seven NBA playoff games played in 2009 is better than some series played in 1982, or whatever. So why the endless hyperbole and focus on whatever the flavor of the month is? Up may be great, but I better not hear anyone calling it the "best animated movie ever" (or even in Pixar's ouevre), without at least a few years in which to give perspective. Just call it really good and get it over with.

The latest chapter in this annoying saga is different, but still the same. The San Francisco Giants Randy Johnson just won his 300th game last week, becoming just the 24th pitcher in major league history to do so. Truly an impressive feat, and something that's happened only a handful of times over the last few decades. Helping those dwindling numbers is the style of baseball played over that time, in which we've seen starting pitchers throw for fewer overall starts and fewer innings per start. Not many current active players are projected to even come close to 300 wins, much less reach it.

So what does this mean? Obviously, according to several sources, that WE WILL NEVER SEE ANOTHER 300 GAME WINNER!

Really?? Never? Are you sure you want to use that word? Be my guest and say something along the lines of "it's likely that we won't see another player reach 300 wins in our lifetime." That's perfectly plausible, if not likely. But never's a mighty long time, and the arrogance it takes to claim that something will never be seen again, just because the current landscape doesn't project it, appalls me. Who's to say that baseball doesn't at some point revert back to a 4-man rotation, thus giving pitchers 5-8 more starts per year? Who's to say that average pitch counts don't rise up yet again when someone realizes that "100 pitches" means nothing in terms of long-term pitcher health when compared to, say, 125 pitches? Who's to say that MLB doesn't (god forbid) lengthen the season to 184 games in 2085? And, most likely (and the thing I'd really like to see), who's to say that some phenom (perhaps the one getting a ton of buzz for the 2009 draft) doesn't barnstorm through MLB hitters like Tiger Woods did the PGA and win 20 games a year for his first 7 years?

No one knows the future. Truth is, we MIGHT NEVER SEE ANOTHER 250 GAME WINNER! But I sure as hell don't want to make that claim with the only assurance I have being that no one will remember what I wrote and when I wrote it. Why are so many others so quick to?

And hey - no stealing my Instant History blog idea - that thing's gold.

Monday, June 08, 2009

The Post Mortem: This One's For Jon

Former Cal State Fullerton captain Jon Wilhite was at Goodwin Field on Saturday to watch the Titans sweep Louisville out of the college baseball playoffs. Wilhite was the lone survivor of the crash that took the lives for Nick Adenhart, former Fullerton cheerleader Courtney Stewart and Henry Pearson. Wilhite was on the field to congratulate the team following the victory.

The Titans are often one of those sentimental teams, being one of the few non-BCS teams able to compete with the big boys in college baseball. Scratch that, Fullerton is the big boy of college baseball despite not being a BCS-team, but still have that scrappy underdog persona.

With the Titans reaching the College World Series for the seventh time in the 11 years of the Super Regional era (the most of any school), expect to hear a lot about Jon. And expect it to get real dusty in my living room.

SPEAKING OF winners, the Lakers cruised to a 2-0 series lead over the Magic. Nothing to worry here, right? Holy lord, who was guarding that guy on the final play of regulation? Was that Kobe’s man? But Mamba was too busy making angry faces and getting stripped by that dirty Euro to get back and play some defense around the rim.

And how many personality changes is Kobe going to undergo during his Lakers career. He went from the kid, to the Rapist, to that Tatted G and now he has that ridiculous scowl that even Jonathan Papelbon would find disturbing. Really, the underbite? Come on. The guy has gone through as many transformations during his career than Madonna. So much so, that I’m surprised that he hasn’t started talking with a fake English accent.

(Or as Diane pointed out on my Twitter page) he hasn’t started adopting kids from Africa yet. Hold on D, that might be coming soon.

This series is close to being over, though. If the Lakers take one game in Orlando, it’s done. There is no way that the Magic are going to win two games in Los Angeles to win the title.

Hopefully the Lakers put a merciful end to this series on Tuesday, but come on, does anybody believe that we won’t see a 2-2 series heading into next Sunday? Book it.

HOW CAN the Vikings put a deadline on Brett Favre? We are all enjoying this so much. We need the Favre Watch to last through the summer. But honestly, he needs to come back. Can't imagine another season of Tarvaris Jackson being a starting quarterback.

CAN YOU believe that Jimmy Johnson was in Jerry Jones' luxury sweet for the opening of Cowboys Stadium? Could it be Mia's Part II? And if you don't get that reference, well, can't help you out there.

AND FINALLY, well, this is the revenge for the Rock of Love Bus.

Saturday, June 06, 2009

Never Forget

Today is the 65th anniversary of D-Day. You have to read this incredible story of Stan White who survived the bombing of Pearl Harbor and D-Day. Unbelievable. Check out this story.

Anyway, I know this is a rare Saturday post, but felt it was important. I'm not sure if April 19 fell on a weekend, too. But in any event, take some time in remembrance today for those guys who were basically fed to the wolves. If you ever watch Saving Private Ryan, realize that our boys went to the most hostile beach imaginable. A lot of the other beaches in Normandy were staffed with Hungarians, Poles and other conquered soldiers who were delighted to be captured by the Allied Forces. (But chagrined to learn that they wouldn't be sent to America.) Our boys faced the most fierce and loyal of the German troops.

Because of the fog and overcast skies, most of the pre-raid bombings missed their mark. Our paratroopers were scattered all over the French country side. Only the sheer will and the sacrifice of our soldiers made it possible to take that beach. I mean it seems impossible.

Think about it, you get one time on this Earth. Imagine being 20 years old and being put in a boat basically to die so that those coming after you would have a better life. It's a pretty sobering thought. We shouldn't have to wait for anniversaries to thanks those who have served. And even I'm guilty of it, too. So please, take some time to day to thank at least one veteran. That is going to be my goal.

Friday, June 05, 2009

The Weak Ender: Minka Still Available

For now, at least. Lyla Garrity is not engaged to Derek Jeter. And to be honest, I don't care that much. Instead, the biggest news is that Alex Rodriguez is dating Kate Hudson. And if you think we're going to lead The Weak Ender with Yoko Hudson, then you are greatly mistaken. (And for the record, I switched out the photo of Minka -- that's her real name -- because it just seemed odd to have her in that cheerleader uniform. But if you disagree, let me know.)

Hudson could play home wrecker again. Not between A-Rod and his wife. But rather the budding romance between A-Rod and Mark Teixeira. Have you ever seen those two guys carry on in the dugout? Good lord, I won't let my nephew watch Yankees games. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I don't think I should be the one answering those questions as to two why those two New York Yankees are making out.

Trust me, I support A-Rod's and Teixeira's right to marry, just don't make me have to explain it. That's all. The only question is, who makes the first inevitable move here? Neither A-Rod nor Teixeira are very good in the clutch.

Speaking of good in the clutch, good Lord Kobe Bryant put on a clinic on Thursday night. That game wasn't even close. The Lakers should probably sweep this thing, but this being the NBA, the Lakers will come out bored in Game 2 and allow the Magic to take at least one game in Los Angeles. Remember the Memorial Day Massacre?

The difference here is that this Magic club isn't as good as the 1985 Lakers, which rallied from that beating. But this Lakers team is pretty lazy. Hopefully, I will be proven wrong, here.

The Magic seem just content with being in the finals. Knocking off the Cavs looks like their great accomplishment. But we will find out Sunday.

GREAT COMEBACK by the Angels after the bullpen once again blew another lead. This act is going to get old over the summer. Still, maybe this crappy team ends up being the one that goes to the World Series instead of some of their better clubs.

AND FINALLY, these organized team activities are going to kill fantasy football owners.

Eagles RB Brian Westbrook will have ankle surgery Friday, and his fantasy value is plummeting as a result. Now the Chicago Tribune is reporting that Bears RB Matt Forte observed team practice after undergoing an MRI on Thursday. That’s just wonderful fantasy news — in Opposite Land.

There’s no reason to get too worked up because Forte doesn’t have the injury baggage that Westbrook is carrying. But Forte tops my fantasy draft board because he should have a huge season running and catching the ball from new QB Jay Cutler, giving him an advantage over Vikings RB Adrian Peterson.

So excuse any anxiety until we receive official word on Forte’s status. And no, Forte updating his Twitter account doesn’t count. Though the Chicago Sun-Times is reporting that there is “no concern that Forte’s hamstring injury is serious.” Yeah, still not helping. The Bears need to treat Forte like a comic-book geek would treat a rare Jawa action figure with authentic loose vinyl cape. (Don’t act like you don’t know what that is.)

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Danica Patrick Winning Me Over

Danica Patrick has created a firestorm -- or at least what counts as a firestorm in Indy racing -- by admitting that she would be willing to take steroids if it would give her an edge in racing.

And yeah, you are starting to get those "think of the children" messages from the teetotalers out there. But this is making me warm up to the broad.

It's not that she is willing to cheat. Though, that's cool. No, it's just refreshing to hear somebody actually be honest about the whole thing. Let's face it, probably every professional athlete is on something. Weed, roids or blow. They are all doing something. Even the dude who won the Indy 500 won't pay his taxes.

So it's not surprising that Patrick would cheat, but that she just comes right out and says it. That kind of honesty is refreshing.

Speaking of cheaters, Rodney Harrison has retired from the NFL. Harrison is one of the few NFL players who admitted to taking HGH. And again, all NFL players are taking stuff. So when Harrison came out and admitted to using (sure he was caught), you have to admire the honesty compared to a guy like Roger Clemens who will never admit it even though he was caught.

Harrison will be debated for the Pro Football Hall of Fame and he probably should get in. You can't tell the history of the NFL without mentioning Harrison's name. If for no other reason, Harrison should get into the Hall for giving rise to the Kurt Warner Machine.

If Harrison doesn't take out Trent Green in 1999, there is likely no KWM and frankly, the world would be worse. Maybe not if you were a stem-cell, but still, the world wouldn't be as good.

So Rodney, you get into the Hall.

Tuesday, June 02, 2009

Vince Young Knows He Sucks Right?

Vince Young has put down an ultimatum to the Titans ... play me or trade me.

Hope he enjoys San Francisco.

Monday, June 01, 2009

Mama, I'm Coming Home

The St. Louis FC is up for sale according to the Post Dispatch. Current owner Chip Rosenbloom long maintained that he wasn’t going to sell the team. And that obviously was lie. There was no way that he was going to be able to hold on to the team because of inheritance taxes. But he wanted to make sure that he gave his mother (the filthy whore) the proper sendoff that she deserved. And with a 2-14 record in 2008 that certainly was a befitting farewell, though one could argue that two wins was too many for her.

Now that the season of the Georgia patches has faded away, Rosenbloom is ready to sell the team.

And of course, there is one website that pointed this out to year last year while all of the big boys chose to ignore this angle. But that’s cool. This isn't a time to gloat.

Rosenbloom wants to sell the team to a local owner in St. Louis. Right. Do you think anybody in St. Louis has the money to buys the team? Not frigging likely. To quote Jack Buck, "if St. Louis was its own nation, it would be a third-world country. Ethiopia would be sending them wheat."

So don’t count on a local bidder to step up.

Co-owner Stan Kroenke would like to own the team, but NFL rules prevent him from owning professional franchises in other leagues. (He owns the Avalanche and Nuggets along with the Pepsi Center.) So he’s out. But he’s going to hang on to his 40 percent, meaning that the new owners won’t have to fully fund the $ 1 billion that the team is worth.

The only alternative is for a buyers in Los Angeles to purchase the team and move the club out to the City of Industry. And believe me, the wheels have long been in motion for this deal. I would be surprised if a deal already hasn’t been worked out in principle. But the Rams will be playing in Los Angeles soon.

Some might point out that the St. Louis FC has a lease that cannot be broken until 2014. That doesn’t matter. The new owners will pay whatever fee is necessary to ensure that the Edwards James Dome turns into the world’s largest WalMart.

Make no mistake, though, this is happening. And St. Louis should just surrender the team now in time for the 2009 season. Do the right thing, St. Louis, let the team come home.

Wake Up People, This Ain't Little League

LeBron James is getting a lot of heat today because he refused to shake hands or talk to the media following the Cavs' Game 6 loss to the Magic.

Reporters, of course, are more butt hurt because he wouldn't answer questions. Hey media, get over it. Do you think he would have said anything interesting anyway? AT least by ignoring the press, he gave you guys something to talk about today.

But the fans griping over his lack of a handshake really need to reevaluate their lives. What message is he sending to the kids? A great one. Society is going into the crapper because of participation ribbons, and trophies just for showing up every day. That's not life. Life has winners and losers, and the people who hate to lose generally do better than those who don't mind losing at all.

You know, the pilot of the Enola Gay didn't go over and shake hands with the Japanese. But that was America's greatest generation.

And you know, I'm tired of watching a game -- like the Super Bowl, AFC/NFC Championship games in particular -- where these meatheads play grabass after a close loss. I don't want to see Donovan McNabb mugging it up with members of the Cardinals after his team loses in the NFC Championship Game.


I would much rather see a guy who cares so much; hates to lose so much that he storms off the court. That to me is a guy I would love to see representing my team. So if he doesn't want to shake hands, I say congratulations to you for at least sharing my feelings on losing.