Friday, May 15, 2009

The Weak Ender: Boston O-For Thursday

Women's golf is starting to catch up to women's tennis in terms of gorgeous women playing the sport. The LPGA has had some women that are "golf hot." You know, good looking for women playing a sport. Paula Creamer, Natalie Gulbis, etc. (Though, I would argue that Creamer is very attractive, some of you tend to disagree.)

But Maria Verchenova blows them out of the water.

And like the women who came before her in tennis, Maria is Russian. Honestly, is there any way we can trade Boston away and pickup Russia? We'd be losing a bunch of douche nozzles while picking up hot women and vodka. Who's with me?

Congratulations are in order to the Boston fans yesterday. A midweek day game -- the first of the Angels season -- and the cops were out there on horseback, sniffing red cups, making sure nobody was drinking.


There were people doing keg-stands in the parking lot on Sunday and you couldn't find a cop if you wanted one. But thanks to the Boston fans, Angels Stadium was on lock down like it was Attica or Dodger Stadium.

But that was only the beginning of the problems for the Nozzles.

The Red Sox lost two of three. This won't replace losing to the Sox in the playoffs. But this was the Nozzles last trip to Anaheim until at least October. This is a going to be a great summer.

Small props do go out to Terry Francona, however, for making sure that Josh Beckett pitched on Sunday to ensure that he wouldn't pitch in Anaheim. Nice gesture. Is there any way we can rescue Francona out of that situation? He doesn't belong.

And further, there was one Boston fan that you didn't want to hit with a frying pan hanging out with us. Sure, you wanted to smack him in the face with an open palm, but that's not bad for Nozzle fans.

The Cellbitch were put in place by the Magic. And the Sports Dork Bill Simpson was complaining about the refs in real time during a live chat. Check it out, he goes into full meltdown mode. Hahaha. Nice idea, d-bag.

Simpson admitted that he was bandwagon Bruins fan, so it was fitting that the first night he paid attention to them, they got pied by the Hartford Whalers. Fitting.

David Ortiz continues to be brutal. Every time the Nozzles had a scoring chance, he would come up and blow it. Even though you feared he was eventually going to break out of his slump each time, watching him swing eased your worries. Maybe it's time to take the risk that Manny was taking and start pumping himself with estrogen again.

AND FINALLY, even if the Lakers had to lose (join me in ignoring the playoffs until the finals, trust me), it was worthy sacrifice considering the Angels won, and Boston went 0-3.


Kordell said...

"Paula Creamer, Natalie Gulbis, etc."Did, did, etc.

Diane said...

If you had a Korean gal fetish, you'd be following the LPGA full time.

DAWUSS said...

I think if we want NCAA women's basketball and the WNBA to ever be popular, the women need to get hotter. Sex appeal is the only way those two leagues will be saved.

My word verification is "ingeasts," which was the first thing I heard when I tried to explain this to some people a couple of months ago.

WCT said...

Erin Andrews is hotter than that broad up there.

And David Ortiz looks like he is ready for the glue factory.

Thats all.

Robbie said...

Paula Creamer's a hottie.

You want to see meltdown? Should have seen me when I turned on Versus for Game 7 last night and got to see some taped boxing match with two tomato cans with six fights between them.

DAWUSS said...

Quick question - what would happen if Chad Ochocinco (as the NFL now officially recognizes him as) was traded to the St. Louis Rams?

Bain said...

Of course staunch Catholics are outraged at Obama's pro-choice stance.

Imagine how many of those fetuses could grow up to be healthy, molestable young boys.

Don't bother replying, assholes. I'm already rounding second base.

Bokolis said...

Trust me, dude...unless you're paying them for an one-off, stay the F away from Russian broads.