Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Weak Ender

Charles "Mask" Lewis, the creator of Tapout gear, died in a car crash this week on Jamboree Blvd. in Newport Beach. Now, it's not just the prices of his tacky clothing that has been cut in half.

Many of the giants in the clothing industry are going to miss him, including Big Johnson, Big Dogs, the No Fear guy and the dudes who turn all of those T-shirts into inspirational religious Ts like Know Fear.

All of the UFC tough guys at the gym and tattoo parlor will be wearing black Zubaz pants in honor of Lewis. He certainly will be missed by those missing any fashion sense at all. The Hatriot adds that the Insane Clown Posse is really hit hard by this because they actually ripped off HIM, instead of the other way around like many of you suspect.

Lewis also was a fighter, too. And his death perfectly covers up Ken Shamrock's positive steroids test.

And get this, the guy who was racing Lewis is going to jail. Doesn't that go against the UFC code? Like, the dude was the winner and in UFC isn't it a win-at-all-cost attitude? Instead of arresting the guy, they should give him half of Lewis' Ferrari to put over his mantle. That guy is getting ripped off.

What, too soon?

  • Can't wait for that first Tapout shirt that features a split Ferrari. Maybe THN's printing press should get fired up again. If anybody is a designer and wants to run with that shirt, feel free.
  • What number are they up to in the Fast and Furious series? That just seems natural.
  • Jay Glazer is no stranger to Zubaz and Tapout gear, and he's reporting that Adam Jones is fit to return to the NFL. All because he looked good on some reality TV show. I don't typically read Glazer's stuff, but is he typically that self-absorbed? Wow, that's awful stuff. He has the connections, no doubt, but the writing is awful.
  • Ervin Santana is hurt for the Angels. Can you ever remember a time when the Angels started the season with their staff intact?
  • LaDainian Tomlinson was talking about teams he would have liked to have played for if he was released by the Chargers. He listed the Saints, Broncos and Ravens. All teams with the RBBC. He would have been awesome on the Cardinals with the way he can catch the football. That's almost too bad he's staying in San Diego.
  • Did anybody catch Andre Smith running the 40 with his shirt off during Alabama's pro day? He was bouncing like Carmen Electra on a trampoline. We'll do tasteless jokes here, but we won't show you that.

Remember when you said that this was going to be the year that you would follow college hoops so you would be ready to fill out your brackets? Too late, the conference tournaments are here. And Kaiser still hasn't gotten his $5. But the pool will start soon.

Don't worry about missing the games, you are probably better off.


WCT said...

Was that first part written by Lil' Hater? Wow. I haven't seen that many tacky jokes at the expense of a dead person since they were clowning Courtney Love at that comedy central roast.

Also, the quality of the weak ender chicks has left a lot to be desired lately...

Pierre LePud said...

Add fifty pounds and an Avalanche jersey and we've got "It Rubs The Lotion On Its Skin".

R.J. said...

I saw that pic of the Ferarri the other day and I kept asking, "Where'd the seats go?" Horrible wreck.

THN said...

WCT -- that is so funny because I was talking to Lil' Hater last night and this bit evolved from that.

THN said...

Oh, and looking back I do now see that the TWE chicks have struggled lately. We need to turn that around. Good call.

Bain said...

You know, is it it just a coincidence that the lic...

No, stop it. I'm not... I can't do it.

Diane said...

When the means of your demise put you in the running for a Darwin award, it's never too soon.

I again nominate Ashley Judd for a Weak Ender gal. She's good looking, married to a race car driver with a cool Scottish accent, and Sarah Palin hates her.

Anonymous said...

Don't give him any ideas about new WeakEnder Girls. Phatty's choice of good looking hot chicks look like Brandi Chastain.

sbabe said...

There are worse.

Bokolis said...

I've been accosted by Glazer's schlock on TV a couple of times...criminally bad.

I just saw Andre Smith run that 40. His boobs looked like Stephanie's before the work was done.

The Blitz said...

50% off huh? Wow!

We're with you - no boating jokes but if you are a joke going 100mph in your

Albert Haynesworth is worse.

Kaiser said...

If memory serves, it wasnt $5, it was a 40 of miller high life. regardless, no, i still havent gotten to bask in its great taste and less fillingness.

Fletch said...

Hey - don't talk shit about that man featured in last week's TWE. She'll kick your ass.

This week's? Beat.