Friday, March 06, 2009

The Weak Ender

At what point in society did women finally say -- when going in for cosmetic surgery on their chests -- "I'm looking for something more crystal ballish. Maybe something in a globe." Seriously, trying to find a picture of this chick was a near nightmare.

Pat Burrell once went out with this adult actress. And by went out we mean bumping uglies.

When baseball players are going good, they say that the baseball looks like a beach ball. So maybe that explains the attraction.

We are in quite a cat-and-mouse game with Terrell Owens. Teams have told Adam Schefter that there is no interest in Owens at all. Drew Rosenhaus says that there is. Hard to figure out who to believe because both groups are often so honest and truthful. Like car salesmen and 40-year old dudes with fake tans, veneers and gold chains hanging around clubs hitting on college chicks.

Yesterday, Washington really stood out as one of the front runners. Then a change of heart said Raven. Now, there could be an instance where Owens doesn't report to training camp at all and is on the verge of missing the season. But some team will buckle. Some team will cave and end up giving Owens what he wants.

Kind of like that episode of The Simpsons where Bart is sent to his room without dinner. A remorseful Bart finally gets the message until Homer slips him some pizza. That is what will happen with Owens.

Credit baseball owners for locking out Barry Bonds. But NFL owners just don't have that kind of resolve.

Alex Rodriguez is going to play without surgery on his injured hip. Gee, wonder where he is going to get the strength to pull through? This season is shaping up nicely for the Yankees. A-Rod will have an extended stint on the disabled list. Mark Teixeira is a notorious slow starter. The moment he starts struggling in April, the idiot Yankees fans will be all over him, causing him to go into an Ed Whitson-like funk. Oh boy, will this be great.


Diane said...

Better question is when did men decide that this was the ideal? Ok, not all men, but the ones casting women in porn films and who think Pam Anderson looks classy.

Are we going into the season assuming the Angels will suck? I'd like to know now, so that I can properly adjust my expectations and reduce the number of evenings spent yelling at the tv; it disturbs the dog.

R.J. said...

Diane, at least you're not a Padres fan. I'll be fitted for a straitjacket by June if I yell at the TV while watching Channel 4 this season.

Did Pat Burrell ever date our girl Alyssa?

Sun Devil said...

Nobody roids like the Cal St. Fullerton baseball team. Nobody.

Kordell said...

You know you were waiting to hear from me, so I'll just say it:

Yeah, I did.