Monday, January 05, 2009

The Post Mortem

Not sure if there has been a more perfect weekend of football, but this was pretty close.

The Quiet Stench of Tony Dungy strikes again. If this was indeed Dungy's final game as an NFL coach, this was a fitting outcome. The Colts came to San Diego riding high on a nine-game winning streak, expectations of another Super Bowl berth looming large and the season ends -- once again -- with the ultimate failure.

Watching Dungy with that stupid smirk on his face as his team again failed in the clutch was a fitting final snapshot for one of the biggest hucksters in NFL history.

Dungy will now enjoy the platitudes of the media that he has snowed for years. He will once again play the "will he or won't he" card again, a media-whoring practice that has gone on so long that even Brett Favre himself has to be impressed. What's sad is that when Dungy does retire, you can bet that morons like Peter King and other Dungy enablers will try to paint him as a Hall of Fame coach. A notion that isn't as laughable as it is sad. The only thing worse than is record on civil rights, is his playoff record.

Saturday's loss was classic Colts. You know those Burger King commercials where they find people living in remote villages to do a taste test? If the NFL wanted to ever show the quintessential Tony Dungy/Gomer choke job to remote villagers in Tibet, Saturday's loss was it.

A lot of Colts fans might lament the bad calls in overtime. Or maybe the unjustness of NFL overtime. I tried to change the overtime rules, but you laughed. But none of that should have mattered. The Colts had a chance to close the game on a third-and-2, but Gomer does what he always does -- he folded. Gomer was sacked by Tim Dobbins and the rest was history.

Turns out that Gomer's underserved MVP award couldn't get him the first down. Hopefully those idiots who voted Gomer for MVP saw that play (along with the rest of the game) and are ashamed of themselves today. Sure, it's a regular season award. But come on, if you didn't see this coming, you don't deserve a vote.

  • If Dungy does retire, he said that he wants to work “hands-on” with young men. Well, that certainly explains a lot. Let’s just say watch your foot if you are in the stall next to Dungy while you are visiting the airport.
  • Hey Gomer, get a haircut. Worst. Stoyline. Ever.

  • Can somebody explain how Philip Rivers didn’t get voted to the Pro Bowl? Not that it will matter because Favre isn’t going to Hawaii. Maybe Rivers should try choking in big games and making goofy commercials. Because clearly, being a better quarterback than Gomer isn’t getting him the recognition that he deserves. Too bad he doesn’t have an annoying twit brother playing in the NFL, or an overbearing father to really push him over the top.
  • Colts fans must hate losing to the Chargers in the playoffs every year. But it really must burn seeing that they continue to do it without their star players. Not that Darren Sproles isn't a star. But come on, he's not LaDainian Tomlinson in his prime. And neither is L.T. anymore.
  • Eddie Guns was doing a game this weekend? And, if TV is to be believed, Eddie's crew was the highest-rated referee crew going. How awful has NFL officiating become? And even if Eddie's crew was good, you can't let them do a playoff game. Not this year. And not unless they were going to do the Chargers game. But -- and I could be wrong -- that should be it for that crew in the playoffs.

True champions make the plays when they need to. Gomer couldn’t convert a third-and-2 with his season on the line. But the Kurt Warner Machine picked up a big third-and-16 with the Cardinals clinging to a 6-point lead.

Remind me, who was the league’s most valuable player?

Actually, the Cardinals were playing to win the game. The Colts don’t roll that way. That explains why the Cardinals will still be playing this weekend.

That and the Cardinals defense. Seriously, what got into the Cardinals defense? You had to wonder if Matt Ryan was giving his snap counts to the Cardinals defensive line instead of his own. And really Matt, try mixing in a hard count next time. That was the difference. The rookie quarterback and rookie coach were exposed by the Cardinals and their coaching staff.

And good news for Arizona, Carolina isn’t exactly a well-coached team.

The Cardinals celebrated like they had won the Super Bowl after wrapping up the division earlier this year. But they seemed more business like this time around. Could the Cardinals actually be growing up? Hey, nobody expected them to win this game, they certainly have a good shot against the Panthers.
  • Matty Ice. Worst. Nickname. Ever. But much better than, Matty "I ruined my brother's college career by running into a tanker truck" Ice.

Utah has rendered the BCS title game meaningless. Sorry Florida and Oklahoma, you are playing for second place. The only logical conclusion from the Sugar Bowl is that Utah is the best team in the national, and really, it’s not close.

Some can claim that Alabama is overrated. Whatever that means. The Crimson Tide entered the game 12-1, and were the top-ranked team for six weeks. They were barely beaten by Florida in the SEC championship game, and that’s good enough for me.

Utah is undefeated, beat four ranked teams and embarrassed the No. 2 team from the alleged best conference in football. Case closed.

And for the record, the Mountain West needs to be included in the BCS rotation. Big Ten, ACC or Big East … it doesn’t matter who you want to exclude, but the Mountain West has earned its place as an automatic BCS qualifier.

How great would a game between USC and Utah be right now?

There were a couple of NFL games on Sunday, but they really couldn’t compare to Saturday’s games. And that’s the thing about the postseason. Having those Saturday night primetime playoff games is awesome. I read somebody complaining about those games because they said, “Saturdays are for going out and hanging out with their friends.”

And your friends don’t like football on Saturday night? That’s not the type of people that I would like to hang out with. Losers.


R.J. said...

That was an awesome game. Too bad LT is likely out for the rest of the postseason.

I screwed up this week. I could've had a Darren Sproles jersey on eBay for aboutr $40 before Saturday's game. I used the money to go to the Auto Show instead. Oops.

Bain said...

I'd much rather be looking at Norv's schedule this week than Fisher's. Raven is just ridiculous on D.

As for the NFC, it's a coin toss, but the Cards are taking on the aura of Dean Stanton's character in Alien. This week they go looking for the cat, after which Kurt and Double Ugly can retire to Jesusland and dream of a world without science.

The Future Mrs. Tom Brady said...

It's like you read my mind, then blogged about it. Another fabulous Indy playoff choke. Now if only the Giants lose, my year of seeing my most hated teams collapse is complete.

WCT said...

I screwed up this week. I could've had a Darren Sproles jersey on eBay for aboutr $40 before Saturday's game.

What a typical West-Coast sports fan. Buying a Sproles jersey NOW. True football fans have known about Sproles since he was running through the defenses for Kansas State (that is, until he ran into Ohio State in the 2004 Fiesta Bowl)

buckyor said...

Actually Florida and Oklahoma are playing for third place. If I had a vote, I'd give Utah #1, USC #2, and the winner of Thursday's game #3.

As for tonight's game, I'm trying to figure out if Mack Brown or Jim Tressel is the worst game coach in the FBS. Todd Boeckman would be third string at Northwestern (hell, he'd be third string at Indiana- though he'd probably start at Wisconsin), yet Tressel has him taking snaps instead of the most dynamic player in the Big Ten? Is he trying to lose this game? And Mack, don't you have a Heisman finalist? How 'bout having him throw the ball down the field once or twice? Is this what happens when both coaches bet against their own teams?

Diane said...

. . ."after which Kurt and Double Ugly can retire to Jesusland and dream of a world without science."

Hopefully, never to be heard from again.

R.J. said...

WCT - I've known about Sproles for quite some time. It's called not having the jack to buy it when I had other priorities. Like buying groceries and paying rent on time.

Sun Devil said...

I don't care what the spread is on the Cardinals - Panthers game. Give away the points. Panthers cover no matter what.

Tony Dungy said...

Watching Dungy with that stupid smirk on his face as his team again failed in the clutch was a fitting final snapshot for one of the biggest hucksters in NFL history.

Not sure what's in your daytimer this week, heathen, but you may wish to set aside some time to be wreaked assunder.

Templeton Peck said...

"Quiet Stench" . . . that's gold

THN said...

That was coined by Bain.