Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Eli Admits: I Suck Without Plaxico

The New York media pressed Eli Messiah today and asked him if he would welcome Plaxico Burress back to the team. But the question is leading. Like if you would ask any dude if he would welcome a back rub from Kelly Monaco.

Which, incidentally, Eli declined.

The point is, what do you expect Eli to say in that situation? Hey Eli, do you want to go back to winning and not sucking, or would you rather continue to be exposed as a bad quarterback? The answer is pretty simple.

What is amusing is that everybody is just figuring out right now that Eli is nothing without Burress. The media is standing there with that befuddled look, similar to the look Terry Benedict had once he realized how Ocean's 11 ripped off his casino. Did the field say Super Bowl XLII? It was staged. It was a tape. I want you to find out how they hacked into my system and made me believe that Eli was a good quarterback!

Honestly people, am I the only one who watches football? At least the only one watching football without Archie Manning's rose-colored glasses. Eli's success was obviously tied to Burress.

But instead of being pissed, maybe it's time to rejoice now that you have all finally come to that conclusion.

Still, the Giants are a class organization. Sure, the owner's daughter participated in a threesome on Nip/Tuck, but other than that, pure class. So you almost feel that the Giants will be willing to let Eli continue to suck, while holding on to their principles and letting Burress rot.

9 comments:

Bokolis said...

We're trying to keep mum about Eli being crap w/o Plaxico. Unlike the stock market, we were not allowed to sell the highs after the Super Bowl.

Don't know how facetious you were being, but no organization that subjects season ticket holders to PSLs can be considered class. Class was buried with the two old men.

Anonymous said...

funny how you talk shit on a team that won the super bowl last year while your dolts were sitting home crying under their face shields. all you dolt fans are the same. why not talk crap on the dolts? 4 straight afc west champions and not even getting to the super bowl?? hmmmmm...
so does that mean rivers sucks worse than manning?? considering rivers had more weapons than eli??? how do you not even make the super bowl??? oh, thats right, i forgot when a big game comes, l.t. is nowhere to be found. other than on the side lines.

bottom line until rivers wins a sb,
the dolts and their classless fans have no shit to talk at all.

The Big Picture said...

good use of an ocean's 11 moment.

Random said...

"funny how you talk shit on a team that won the super bowl last year while your dolts were sitting home crying under their face shields."

I love how there are requirements to talk smack. Hey Anonymous, stop crying like a little bitch...Giants fans were talking a lot of smack this season so you sit down and take it.

THN said...

This isn't about the Chargers. This is about Eli sucking. And you can be a fan of any team to see that is the case.

R.J. said...

And if you want to see us smack down the Dolts, wait until they trade LT this offseason.

A.J. Smith sucks. So there.

The Hatriot said...

Eli apologists are just the bastard children of losers who thought Jim McMahon was a good QB in the 80s. In another words, the guys who show up to your Super Bowl party and regurgitate whatever the clowns on ESPN said that morning as if they thought it up all by themselves! How nice was it to see the Iggles turn him into Tony Romo on a national stage. Bye, bye, Corky! Say Hi to 8-8 for me!

WCT said...

Today (or maybe yesterday) Jim Rome referred to Kurt Warner as "a ball machine."

And here I thought I was the only loyal reader of this god-forsaken blog...

THN said...

Our Snuggie take made it Rome, too.