Friday, December 12, 2008

The Weak Ender

Tim Tebow looks to walk off with another trophy this weekend. And another Heisman Trophy, too.

Good lord, is that Tebow's girlfriend Lucy Pinder or was this a publicity shot from when he visited the set of A Dirty Shame. (Sorry, only Fletch is going to get that joke.)

Tebow is going to be THN's prediction to win the thing -- only because he's left handed. (Maybe he can pass the torch to Boise State's Kellen Moore.)

There's a lot of people out there because Graham Harrell isn't invited to the Heisman party. And you know what, so what. This isn't Little League where everybody who participated gets a gold ribbon and a free flight to New York. So why should he be going if he didn't finish close to the top?

But, if after the votes are counted, he didn't win, place or show, there is no reason for him to be at the award ceremony. Quit bellyaching Coach Leach. Maybe if you would have kept Oklahoma under 250 points, you would have an argument. But Texas Tech's defense did more to keep Harrell out of the Heisman race more than anything else. Besides there are worse things happening in college football (more below).

And before Diane leaves, let's jump to the pros. But before we do, belated condolences to another one of Sunset Beach's finest bitches, Hannah. Needless to say, the greenbelt just isn't the same.

Are you ready for some NFL football?

  • The NFC South is 24-2 at home this year, which is bad news for the Buccaneers who need a win at Atlanta. To make matters worse, Jeff Garcia is hurting with an calf injury. You won't see this in any published reports, but word on the the street is that Garcia came home and found his wife, Carmella Decesare, in bed with Kordell Stewart and strained his calf while chasing for the former Steelers quarterback down the street.
  • Remember when Washington was considered a lock for the playoffs? Now you aren't even sure if they can beat the Bengals ... until you remember that Ryan Fitzpatrick is the Bengals quarterback.
  • Upset special: Texans over Titans.
  • Punch yourself in the face if you want to see: Packers at Jaguars. Limited value, but a couple of teams that have grossly underachieved this season. Don't put all of the Packers problems on Aaron Rodgers, though. Ryan Grant has murdered your team. And if you drafted him for your fantasy team, you know what I'm saying. That's the truth. The Jaguars are miserable, but given Jack Del Rio's every-other-year prowess, Jacksonville should keep him next season and then dump him. San Diego at Kansas City came close to falling into this category, but this should be an offensive shootout. It had better be. Otherwise you will punch yourself in the face without provocation.
  • The Dolphins are an amazing story this year, but they weren't Lions bad last season. They lost Ronnie Brown, started a rookie at quarterback and still lost a lot of close games. This season is going to give them a false sense of hope. Expect them to be terrible again next season. Seriously, look at their skill players. How do they win games?
  • The Lions are closing in on 0-16 and there is a real fear that somebody will have a letdown and allow Detroit to sneak out a win. But it won't be the Colts this week. Indy is great against crappy teams. They never seem to have letdowns against inferior competition. Gomer only melts against the good teams.
  • Ken Whisenhunt is going to start Kurt Warner on Sunday, even though the Cardinals are not going to get a No. 2 seed. That makes coach Whisenhunt one of the greatest coaches in fantasy football leagues. He gets it. Either that, or he really, really hates Matt Leinart. And that could be the case. A source close to the situation says that Leinart is lazy and doesn't do his homework, which really doesn't ingratiate him to the coach. If that's the case, Leinart really needs to ask himself if he wants to be a player in the NFL, or if he wants to be a rich man's Matt Cassel.
  • Raven is my current pick to represent the AFC in the Super Bowl. Normally, you wouldn't pick a team with a rookie quarterback to win the conference. But look at some of the other quarterbacks on potential AFC playoff teams. Jay Cutler, Kerry Collins, Favre, Gomer, Cassel and Ben Roethlisberger (fantasy killer). Not a bad group, but we're not looking at Joe Montana, Troy Aikman and Bart Starr here, either. Not that you need one anymore. Just look at the last two Super Bowl MVPs.
  • Terrell Owens is jealous of Tony Romo and Jason Witten's relationship? Just come out of the closet already, T.O. You are screaming too ever since your fake suicide. Even though 52 percent of California doesn't believe you should be allowed to get married, they still think you are a fine football player. Let go of the rage and be free. What's great is that it looks like the Giants and Cowboys are fighting to see who could have the biggest distractions on their team. You have to give the edge to the Cowboys who also gets the edge in this game. The Giants already have locked up the NFC East, so Dallas is the desperate team. If the Cowboys had won in Pittsburgh last week, they would have been the pick. But not now, they have to win this game.
  • Sound off: Best Blue Oyster Cult song
  • The only thing that will make Sunday's telecast of the Patriots/Raiders wonderful will be the endless showing of the Tuck Rule. That never gets old.
  • Happy 93rd to the Chairman of the Board, Frank Sinatra. And a belated birthday greeting to Sammy Davis Jr.


Ohio State in the BCS, eh? Well that's just great. We could make jokes that Ohio State and Penn State should be playing for the Big Ten's right to even have an automatic bid into the BCS. But we're above that.

But what really sucks is that the WAC is being deprived of a BCS money that would be greatly beneficially to some struggling programs facing a budget crisis. You have to be concerned about the long-term health of programs such as Utah State and San Jose State. Even Hawaii has a hard time making money.

However, the BCS is just pumping more money into a worthless program instead of spreading the wealth to some of the mid majors. And that could end up costing some schools its program. When you start shutting down programs, you end up closing the door for some kids to even go to college. Hope it's worth it just to see Ohio State get blown out in some bowl again.


insomniac said...

You had me until you spoke of preventing a kid from going to Utah State like it was a bad thing.

Scott said...

It's a toss-up between Career of Evil and Black Blade.

And the first person to make a cowbell joke gets a thumb in the eye.

Diane said...

We don't know if Lucy Pinder sleeps on her right side, or left side, but we know she doesn't sleep on her stomach.

And thanks for the shout out to the big girl. You know she and Nikki are running wild beyond the Pearly Gates.

WCT said...

Ohio State ended up in a BCS bowl game, as I told you they would. Nobody wants to see another WAC team get blown out in a big game.

Peteski said...

She took Alabama too.

THN said...

You mean when Boise State beat Oklahoma? Yeah, they were blown out.

I will give the correct answer for the BOC question in The Post Mortem.

Yiddish Steel said...

Another WAC team getting blown out in a BCS game?! Please. Both Penn State and Ohio State will lose by double digits in their games; thanks for showing up; bank on it.

Best BOC Song: Dancing In The Ruins?

Just don't get that lame tune stuck in your head.

Kyle said...

Love Lucy Pinder. Fantastic linkage.

Also WCT, western non-BCS schools are 2-1 in the Series (W Utah '04, W Boise '06, L Hawaii '07). Compare that to the Big Ten, which in the same time frame is 1-5; and the one is against a Notre Dame team which, as all ND teams, didn't deserve a BCS berth.

buckyor said...

So would it be fair to say that Tim Tebow is not a leg man?

R.J. said...

Diane, sorry to hear about Hannah.

As for the Heisman picks, I'll root for whomever the Raiders will pick third overall next April.

Diane said...

RJ - thanks

And thanks to Adam and Bucky for their kind words too.

WCT said...

Of course I was referring to the previously undefeated Hawaii team, that was destroyed last year.

Also, OSU's win over ND shouldn't count, but Utah's win over Pitt should?

Ohio State is 4-2 all-time in BCS games by the way, including a national championship. Like 116 of the other 118 teams in D-1A would take that...

Kyle said...

I didn't say it shouldn't count, that was your own inference. You *did* say "Noboyd wants to see another WAC team get blown out in a big game." The same thing could be said of a team from ANY conference. But more importantly, plenty of people want to see another '06 Fiesta Bowl.

Ohio State's record in BCS games is impressive, there's no doubting that. But in the last half-decade, what exactly has the Big Ten done beside send teams to be the SEC and USC's sacrifical lambs?

Kyle said...

And by last half-decade I mean the seasons since the '02 season Fiesta Bowl.

Fletch said...

For shame...even I didn't get that joke, though I looked it up and not only do I get it now, but I get why I didn't get it...sorry, not a John Waters fan. But I appreciate the effort. And the Tebow pic (for her, fruits). And the Pinder linkage. :)

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