Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Who Is Your Mid-Season MVP?

ESPN is like a flamer on a message board. the content they churn out only seems intended to incite readers. Because you would hate for anybody to be that stupid.

How else could you explain Chris Berman? There aren't four people in this world who would agree that he makes a football telecast watchable. Yet there he is every Monday night, laying his dookie stinks on the television. And what's with his self-glossed nickname, "Boomer." Who gave him that (expletive) nickname? And why does he have to take an hour to explain his Monday night pick, when the rest of the 50 analysts in the booth just spit it out? And really, are ESPN and NBC in a war to see how many ex-NFLers they can put into one studio to make their respective shows less watchable?

Moving on ...

So it should come as no surprise that ESPN would pull a similar stunt with its poll for the NFL mid-season MVP award. Just take a look at the candidates.

Drew Brees. Yep. He's on his way to breaking Dan Marino's single-season passing mark of 5,084 yards. But he's on a last place team.

Albert Haynesworth. Sure, we can overlook him stomping a Cowboys lineman in the head. But he's the trendy pick on the defense, even though Bob Sanders is way more valuable.

Clinton Portis. Somebody on the Redskins needs to be in the discussion, so he's not a bad choice.

Kurt Warner. We don't need to go on.

So while you might not agree with all of those choices, you can see where they are coming from. The next guy on the list ... not so much. Kind of like an SAT question where you need to identify the one who doesn't belong.

That last candidate is Eli Messiah. For real. Now maybe I have spent too much time watching actual NFL games, but who are the geniuses who think that Messiah should be considered in the MVP race? I was thinking of making a post imaging how deadly the Giants would be if they had a real quarterback like Warner still running the team instead of Messiah.

The Giants seem to be living on borrowed time because they can only tempt fate so long by running the Messiah out there every game, because it's going to come crashing in around him. It has to, right?

Again, shouldn't let this kind of stuff get to me, but damn. He's like the new version of Donovan McNabb -- a loser who inexplicably is given more credit than he deserves.

Although, before my faith in humanity is totally ruined, Warner is carrying 46 percent of the vote, which is nice.


Bokolis said...

The Giants did everything they could to lose that game on Sunday. There are at least 5 plays in each game where I wonder just WTF he sees out there.

The most glaring example: They had a 3rd down inside the 10 with a 4 receiver set, Plaxico in the slot with one on one coverage (no safety help on the inside). He decides that the TE on a quick slant, with similar man coverage, was a better option.

None of that matters, though. This game is, 90% hitting. If you have that and/or can keep the opposition from hitting you, you can win with just about everybody. Eli's development has not been all that different from Bradshaw's (the obvious comparison)...although, I'll concede that, after his Swann moment, Bradshaw became a much better QB, while Eli has gotten nothing from his Giant Snatch moment.

DAWUSS said...

At least Chris Berman gives the CFL some love

Donal said...

Ummm, Warner was the QB for the Giants a few years ago. He was the transition betwen Kerry Collins and Eli Manning.

He was even less effective than Eli. The Giants were winning games based on their monster defense and Tiki Barber's legs. The defense caught the injury bug and Tiki got fumble-itis and everything went to hell.

I guess playing in the NFC West will make anyone look good.

THN said...

Warner had them heading to the playoffs in 2004 before the pulled him for Eli because they wanted to lose the rest of their games. (Which, I believe they came close to doing.)

Gaylord said...

Agreed Eli Manning is clearly an MVP candidate, he should guide the Giants to their second consecutive Superbowl and pick up another Superbowl MVP also...

Speaking of former Giants getting some MVP love, the clowns on PTI were picking Kerry Collins for MVP, i think he only has 5 TD's on the season...

Mack said...

check out this hilarious video!

The Big Picture said...

they're douches, but cutler and rivers wouldn't be bad choices...cutler more so now b/c the broncos are in first, but we all know SD wins that division.

Donal said...

The Giants lost 3 straight games and pretty much were out of the playoffs when they pulled Warner for Eli.

But, hey, why let facts interrupt a rant?

Donal said...

Can we give whoever injured Vince Young the MVP?

Diane said...

This should be Warner's last season in the NFL. When Obama overturns Bush's ban on stem cell research, he and Brenda simply must devote themselves full time to picketing research laboratories.

Anonymous said...


Actually, it was only 2 in a row, but they were still 5-4 and in such a shitty conference like the NFC they easily could have won 3-4 more games and made the playoffs, right? Despite, you know, in 4 of Eli's first 5 starts he went up against top 5 defenses, almost beating a Steelers team that ended up 15-1. Come on, this site isn't supposed to be logical. This site is filled with west coast bias, which is kind of funny, since both west divisions are atrocious, and oddly both east divisions are pretty good.

And like McNabb? While McNabb was throwing up against a weaker Pats team, Eli was throwing for 2 comeback TDs in the 4th quarter, joining some guy named Joe Montana as the only qbs in the Super Bowl to do so, against "THE GREATEST TEAM EVER PERIOD." Eli has a ring, and an MVP from the game for what was just mentioned. (Yes, the dline was godly, but you don't give to a full unit.)

Speaking of losers, LaToe Injury doesn't have a ring and never will? WAH WAH WAH!



THN said...

Well, I had no idea that Eli almost beat the 15-1 Steelers in 2004. He has my vote for the Hall of Fame.

And hey, I've given Eli plenty of propers for managing to pin that ball to David Tyree's head. That's not easy to miss a guy like that. Further THN has recognized Eli with all of the other one-time Super Bowl champions such as Trent Dilfer and Brad Johnson who -- by your logic -- should have been awesome for the Cowboys.

R.J. said...

The MVP is Sebastian Janikowski. Without him, the Raiders would be 0-fer and a lock for the #1 pick next April.

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