Friday, November 14, 2008

The Weak Ender


Those morose Patriots fans really thought they were going to get lucky last night. Instead, they got played like some sucker who spent the majority of his night buying drinks for a chick that was way out of his league.

Though, Boston doesn't have many chicks hot enough to be out of the league of some Southie in a faded Nomar T-shirt.

Watching those Patriots fans filed out of Gillette Stadium was a wonderful sight, though. Being a Pats fan, like me, is tough. That's right, I'm a huge Patriots fan. See, I was on the Pats bandwagon back in 2001 when they were about to play host to the Raiders in the playoffs. When you consider that most Patriots fans didn't get on board until the Super Bowl that year -- THN has been Patriots fans longer than probably 95 percent of the people in the stadium last night. Even ESPN's Sports Dork Billy Simpson was probably a Giants fan until that Super Bowl win.

But if watching the beloved Patriots lose is what it takes to see all of those jerks moping out of the stadium, then it's definitely worth it.

  • Dare anybody say it? But Brett Favre sure looked like he was having fun out there. Feels dirty just writing that.
  • The Steelers have dropped consecutive homes games. Do you think that they are going to leave a third to the Chargers? San Diego made the switch from Ted Cottrell to Ron Riveria two weeks ago, but there was no noticeable change. The Chargers let Tyler Thigpen moved the Chiefs seemingly at will. Maybe the Chargers didn't want to give too much away by showing everything at the Chiefs. That's the desperate fans on the message board talking. The Chargers can't be so cavalier as to not play hard against the Chiefs, even in the awful AFC West.
  • Punch yourself in the face if you want to see: Denver vs. Falcons. What? Has THN gone mad? Jay Cutler and Matt Ryan should combine for like 100 points in this game. So why no love? Because this game will remind everybody of the dreadful Super Bowl XXXIII.
  • One game that you shouldn't love, but do? Saints at Chiefs. Drew Brees vs. Thigpen. That's a dream matchup. But what would be better than this game would be watching Larry Johnson try to buy Kim Kardashian a drink.
  • Stat of the week: Over the past two weeks, the Raiders have dropped back to pass 62 times (53 attempts, nine sacks), while generating just 122 net yards passing -- a dreadful two-game average of 1.94 yards per pass attempt
  • The Bears and the Packers have met 176 times in their history. And does it seem strange to any of you that the Bears have won five of the last six meetings?
  • Many football fans will never forgive Raven for what they did to the city of Cleveland. (Even though Cleveland still has a new version of the Browns.) And really, there isn't much that Raven can do to make up for what they did. But it would be a great help if treated Eli Messiah like the punk like brother that he is. This whole Eli-is-decent era needs to finally end. Raven has a chance, like a convict down on its luck, to do one good deed to at least give some meaning to their miserable existence. Like if some convicted killer went out and killed Bin Laden or something. That is what Raven can do this weekend by sending the Giants into a tailspin.
  • Jon Gruden is 3-0 in his career as a coach vs the Vikings. Bucs have won seven of the last eight at home vs the Vikings. Please tell me that I remembered that when making my GA picks.
  • Would really love to see Arizona wrap up the division on Sunday. And the "experts" are picking the Birds. But come on. Seattle can't let the Birds win this one. Especially with Matt Hasselbeck coming back. That just doesn't seem possible.
  • Frank Gore says he had a concussion. The 49ers said that he only had a neck injury. You can't blame Gore for not wanting to believe the 49ers. This is the same organization that tried to run a dive on fourth-and-2 on the final play of the game on Monday night.
  • How did the Colts manage to get back into the AFC playoff race? Nearly every team has had the Colts on the ropes -- including this week's opponent Houston that choked a huge lead at home to Indy -- but have let them off the hook. The Colts should be buried for the season, but they are going to make the playoffs. Whether you like it or not.
  • Remember when everybody was on the Jaguars bandwagon prior to the start of this season? (Except for THN and the Super Bowl Buzz Kill.) The key is that the Jaguars are 1-4 at home this season, and all of those games have been decided by six points or less. You have to win the close ones in the NFL. Seems simple, right? But then how come nobody rips the Eagles? Philly is 1-9 over the last two years in games decided by less than a TD; 0-4 this year. That's right, the Eagles have a choking dog of a quarterback and a lousy big-game coach.
  • The Cowboys are getting Tony Romo back. The Redskins are probably going to be without Clinton Portis. That can only mean one thing -- the Redskins will win. Come on, is there any other way that game can go? The Cowboys used to win a lot of games in Washington. They also had quarterbacks who knew how to win big games. You know what would be awesome? If Portis showed up in one of his costumes, and Jim Zorn deadpanned, well Clinton said he was going to be out, but Dr. Do Itch Big is fine.
  • The Lions schedule down the stretch is brutal. There doesn't seem to be a winnable game left. Hell, the Mountain West would look tough to the Lions. But that's just it, the Lions are going to end up beating one of those teams that they shouldn't. That's just the way these things work. Why spend time wishing for the impossible dream. They will pull off an improbable victory. This week at Carolina seems like a good candidate.
  • Memo to prime-time television executives. Never be suckered in by one-year wonder teams. The Browns were an obvious fluke, yet they are getting tons of air-time this year. Stick with the division rivalries, and odds are you will end up with better matchups. Bears vs. Packers. Redskins vs. Cowboys. Giants vs. Eagles. Even last night's Jets vs. Patriots game turned out to be a good one. Stick this simple formula.
  • College football seems boring now that the Pac-10 is uneventful. Sorry. The NCAA needs the Pac-10 to return as college football's top division. Because right now, the product is suffering. At least Penn State and Ohio State won't ruin the BCS title game this year. Only the Rose Bowl.

Steve M. Bornstein wrote some gibberish on, calling for the cable companies to come to their senses. What's funny is that has a new comment function for it's stories.

Only Bornstein's diatribe did not have comments enabled.

What is the matter, afraid that some people are going to voice their displeasure with the NFL's unwillingness to make their games available? The league buckled last year when it showed the Patriots at Giants game. And what's wrong with forcing people to go to their local taverns to watch big games like that, or the Cowboys vs. Packers game. That Cowboys game was one of the best nights for watching football, because every bar with the game was packed to the rafters.

Why does the NFL hate fostering communities and stimulating the economy?

The NFL Network has no business telling the cable companies how to run their, um, business. And really, you aren't missing much anyway. The network gives you about two hours of original programing each day -- during the season -- and eight games. Hey, if there's a compelling matchup, I can just walk down to Mother's to watch it.

But you can't blame Bornstein for trying. Imagine if you were given a chance to create a television network dedicated to football, and you managed to F it up? That has to hurt. He's like the Al Davis of TV executives.

But they have awesome commercials. (Get the place ready, I'm sending them over again.)

And let's throw some love to Bob's Blitz in case you don't read the comments.


Anonymous said...

I hate both teams, but there's no one in the NFL I hate more than Brett Favre. Here's hoping Miami takes advantage of a really easy schedule and wins every game going down the stretch.

Anonymous said...

There. That should prime the pump. said...

Gotta love Brett! Great observation.

Steve Your network sucks. I mean really really sucks. It took us TWO articles to come close to saying how much we hate you.

THN said...

NFL Network ... the world's most expensive podcast.

I'm a Collinsworth guy, but Bob Papa annoys me. I guess they couldn't grab Spero Dedes because he's doing Lakers games.

And I might have been remiss, NFL Network could be up to three hours of original programing each day. Not that I would know because I have Time Warner.

If they ever offered it on a tier and was forced to pay for it, I would probably pay for November and December and then immediately cancel. (Which is probably one of their biggest fears and why they are trying to force cable companies to carry it on its basic platform.)

buckyor said...

I think you keep posting those pics of Sterger just to keep Diane worked up. I say, if you got something that works, why change it?

Anyway, I'd rather my cable company (Time Warner Cable) popped for the Big Ten Network before they go for the NFL Network. I have 3 shopping networks, 7 God Channels, 12 kids and cartoons channels, and two freaking military channels, not to mention chicktv all over the menu, but I can't see Northwestern-Illinois next week. Hell, I can see soccer games from Europe, tennis matches 24-7, golf tips, and freaking video game reviews, but I can't get football from the heartland of America.

Diane said...

Like with Sarah Palin, I keep wondering when Cowgirl will go away . . .

Donal said...

"Though, Boston doesn't have many chicks hot enough to be out of the league of some Southie in a faded Nomar T-shirt."

Actually, Boston has some pretty decent talent in that department. Of course, all the dudes are Massholes.

I think it was Nicholson who said "I've never seen so many beautiful women with ugly boyfriends."

If you go there and can show the girls (who drink like irish sailors) that your idea of a fun evening is not eating Fenway Franks while rooting through Belichik's trash, you'll get more tail than an animal shelter.

R.J. said...

Punch yourself in the face if you want to see: Denver vs. Falcons...Because this game will remind everybody of the dreadful Super Bowl XXXIII.

I don't want to see the game, but I wonder what Eugene Robinson will be up to the night before the game.

THN said...

Damn, how did I miss that joke?

WCT said...

what are you going to do when the Rose Bowl is Michigan State vs. Oregon State?

Sun Devil said...

Everyone's going to love when the Broncos win the AFC West with an 8-8 record.

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