Friday, November 07, 2008

The Weak Ender

Leave it to the Patriots. In a week where America holds a historic election, the Patriots had to fire a cheerleader when Facebook photos surfaced of her drawing wangs and swastikas on a passed out guy.

In other words, just your normal night in Southie.

Caitlin Davis had been in the news earlier this year when the 18-year old high school senior made the Patriots cheer squad. See, this is why they don't let the athletes jump straight from high school to the pros. You can do this kind of stuff at Arizona State (well, not really because they dropped their cheer teams), but it's fine at that level.

And hell, if she was intent on drawing swastikas on people, she would have been a perfect fit in the SEC.

Like I wouldn't go there?

What happened to those innocent days when cheerleaders got busted for getting busy in a restaurant bathroom? Drawing on passed out people? That's so 1999.

Let's talk some football.

The Raiders destroyed the Panthers the last time they played in Oakland, winning 52-9 in 2000. There's a chance there could be a similar score this week, but do you think that Oakland could actually score 9 points?

And the sad thing is, it's not even a joke. The Raiders are certainly that bad. You would have to go all the way back to the beginning of the franchise to think of teams that were this horrendous. The Raiders were 2-12 in 1961 and 1-13 in 1962.

But in fairness to those teams, they were competing with the NFL for players. The current Raiders squad looks like they were competing with the Arena League for players.

Do you know what turned the Raiders fortunes around in 1963? A young coordinator from the San Diego Chargers named Al Davis. The only bad thing is that Davis still thinks, and acts like it's 1963. Who knows, he might have tried to resign George Blanda this week.

There will not be, however, that white knight to turn the ship around for the Raiders this time. Instead, the Raiders ought to seek a hire a man that could actually make the situation worse.

And that's Matt Millen.

How has this guy not been hired yet? When you are talking about creating the worst NFL team in the history of the planet -- we're talking way worse than the 1976 Buccaneers -- Millen is the guy who could deliver that.

Think for a moment what a draft war room with Millen and Davis would be like. The Raiders would be the first team in the NFL to use its entire draft on wide receivers. The only fear would be that these two would be so inept, that it would actually result in the team being good. In some parallel universe.

  • Reader Matt P. put it best about Brady Quinn, how about doing that against some real competition before we get too crazy about the guy. Holy hell, you would have thought Brady shredded the 1986 Bears, the way they were carrying on last night. Not that any of you could see the world's most expensive podcast, aka, NFL Network.
  • Obama's change is already evident in Denver as Peyton Hillis was lined up at running back for the Broncos in the second half. Now I know what many of you were feeling Tuesday night, witnessing an historic moment.
  • How is it that everybody in Chicago hates Rex Grossman, except for the 54 guys who play for the Bears? Brian Urlacher was yelling at fans. Teammates continue to defend the guy. What does Rex do with his money, hire hookers for the players? They can see what happens on the field right? Although, all kidding aside, Rex isn't that bad. The Vikings are making it a go with Gus Frerotte. Quarterbacking isn't exactly enjoying its golden age in the NFL right now.
  • Well, expect maybe in the deep South. Drew Brees is unbelievable in New Orleans. If there as a passing version of the "running back by committee," it would be the Saints. Having any Saints receiver on your team is maddening because there are like eight guys every week that could score a touchdown. Only Houston comes close. Matt Ryan has been amazing in Atlanta. The guy threw 19 picks at Boston College last year, and now he's like a non-challenged looking version of Gomer. He's the anti-Gomer.
  • Everybody is asking what happened to the Bills. Turns out, they aren't as good when they aren't playing the Raiders, Seahawks and St. Louis FC. They've lost two consecutive games to division opponents and the Patriots could ruin their season in Week 10.

AND FINALLY
There was a entertaining night of football on Thursday, if you could find it. Utah rallied in the closing minutes to defeat TCU, keeping its BCS hopes alive. While the Broncos and Browns were making like an AFL game.

And that's the way football should be. Or at least bad football should be -- giving up tons of scoring. But it's a shame that all of these sports networks can't make up with the cable companies. There is no reason why these channels such as the NFL Network and the Mountain can't be available on a paid tier. Sometimes it just seems like a huge conspiracy to get people to purchase DirecTV.

8 comments:

Tips said...

You would think that the Patriots, of all teams, would understand the problems of, uh, camerawork.

Diane said...

I expected to see Kendra Wilkinson as this week's Weak Ender girl. Bigger boobs, and she's announced her engagement to Hank Baskett.

Sun Devil said...

You just couldn't resist a jab at ASU...

WCT said...

I forgot ASU had a football team.

Where is the breakdown of the big Cal-USC battle? Or what about the team that controls its own destiny in the Whack-10, the Oregon State Beavers?

THN said...

Tough week for me. I need to start planning TWE better.

Did Kendra Wilkinson announce her engagement? That's how far behind I got this week.

Stupid Thursday night games!

I'm actually fearful that Oregon State gets the Rose Bowl. Mainly because USC will gobble up another BCS spot, leaving Utah or Boise State in the cold. I'm telling you, I will unveil my college playoff plan soon. And it will be genius.

Louie Anderson said...

That "15" on Caitlin Davis is the number of times I tapped it.

Sam said...

Tips took the words right out of my mouth!

If anyone should be understanding, it should be the Pats.

Maybe she can score a job with the Raiders seeing as how ole' Al Davis cut DeAngelo Hall.

I hear they've got some vacancies.

Bain said...

Boy, tough week for Kurt Warner. Not only did the country go and elect a guy who's going to wipe out all Bush's stem cell restrictions with one stroke of his pen, but Kurt didn't even get his usual knob swab here at the Weak Ender.

Oh well... at least Kurt and Double Ugly can take solace in knowing that thousands of cases of Alzheimers and Parkinson's will be diagnosed before January 20.