In fact, it sucks.
The Titans cheerleaders did it on Monday night. Good luck trying to find those photos. You can't spend five seconds on the Internets without being overloaded with those unflattering pictures of Jennifer Love Hewitt's backside. But you try to find a few Titans cheerleaders Halloween costume picks and you end up slumped over like Gomer in the final minutes of that game. Seriously, where are the photos?
Thankfully the WWF Divas had a Halloween costume contest this week to pick up the slack. Let's talk some football.
- The Cardinals game at St. Louis is a little scary. Arizona is far out front in the NFC West, but there is anxiety that something bad could happen. If the Birds want to be taken seriously, they have to start winning on the road. Hopefully St. Louis already blew it's wad in Jim Haslett's first two games and the reality of being losers has once again settled in with this the St. Louis FC. Steven Jackson is banged up. The defensive line is hurting. In other words, this is the perfect time for the St. Louis FC to actually play one of its four good games of the season. The only saving grace is that SLFC has already play two good games.
- Patriots coach Bill Belichick had an interesting exchance during his press conference this week. When asked about Gomer's injuries, Belichick noted that the Colts quarterback hasn't been on the injury list. Once again, Tony Dungy can pretty much do whatever he wants and nobody says a word. Do you want to be a bigot and have people love you? Dungy knows how to get it done. And now he has failed to disclose an injury to Gomer, and the NFL doesn't care.
Not to defend Belichick and the cheating Patriots, but what would have happened if any other team had been playing games like this? Seriously, how does Dungy continue to get away with this? Back in 2001, we were forced to cheer on the Patriots over the forces of evil (St. Louis) and we have to do it again this week.
- Not only that, but Dungy can jerk the Colts around with his employment and again, nobody cares. He's considered one of the good guys.
- Be sure to take the Colts in the game, though. Indianapolis is in danger of falling behind further in the division. Especially with the Texans winning three consecutive games. Houston takes on the Vikings this week, and both teams can commiserate about how they let the Colts off the hook earlier this season. Imagine how far back the Colts would be if the Texans and Vikings could close a team out.
- The Jets play at Buffalo, and Brett Favre is 0-3 at Orchard Park. And the way Favre has been giving the ball away, don't look for him to end that streak. Favre plays like a guy who doesn't care anymore. Like he's just churing out newsletters about the hotel industry or something. The Jets fans are starting to become restless, but, they've seen Favre play before right? This is what he does. He turns the ball over a lot. But he's going to end up winning a lot of games for this team, even some that he shouldn't. Will it be this week? No. The Bills have the luck on their side this week. The Bills easily could have lost to the Chargers and Raiders, but they are getting all of the breaks. You can't beat those teams in the regular season. The Bills will find a way to win this one.
- The Kyle Orton story would be a lot more entertaining if there were current photos of him pounding a bottle of Jack Daniels. Having Orton turn his career around after he quit drinking sends a wrong message to children.
- Punch yourself in the face if you want to watch the Bengals vs. Browns game. There is barely any fantasy value there. Also Tampa Bay vs. Kansas City; Jacksonville at Cincinnati ... you are very close. MJD makes you passably viable.
- When the Packers brass are watching Aaron Rodgers get scraped up off the turf on Sunday, and Kerry Collins is leading the Titans to victory, maybe they will realize what it means to have a quality, veteran quarterback. Well, at least a veteran backup. Maybe they have been spoiled by having Favre there all these years.
- How will you remember the 'Wildcat' era of the NFL? Ever since Ronnie Brown killed the Patriots and Chargers, he hasn't surpassed 50 rushing yards in his past three games. Don't worry, you'll torch the Broncos this week. Sorry Ricky Williams, poor choice of words. But you should blaze against them, too.
- Hell, even Chad Pennington should have another good game. One publication that Pennington and the Dolphins haven't been this high-flying since Dan Marino. And if you count Ted Ginn Jr. catching a 6-yard pass and then taking it to the house, then they are spot on. But when you think about the Jay Fiedler, Scott Mitchell, Gus Frerotte and the other stiffs who have played quarterback for the Dolphins, it is sad but true.
- The autumn wind is a Raider ... Pillaging just for fun ... He'll knock you around and upside down ... And laugh when he's conquered and won ... Oh wait, ow, ow, ow. I stubbed my toe. I can't play anymore. My shoes are too tight. Yeah, get well Darren McFadden.
- The Cowboys felt they could just show up this season and the Super Bowl would be handed to them. But they have been a bigger disappointment than the Dukes of Hazard remake. Just kidding, everybody knew the Dukes of Hazard was going to blow.
- The Steelers are 3-0 on Monday Night Football under Mike Tomlin. Is there a trend here? Who knows. The Slurs have been pretty good against the best competition, but they can't keep this going forever. Take the Steelers.
- You know who is the worst agent in the world? Daunte Culpepper, who is own agent. He passed up a chance to sign with the Chiefs to instead try to latch on with Detroit. Well, maybe he wants to show the Vikings what a mistake they made. The trendy pick to go to the Super Bowl, the Vikings should take their own look at Pep. But what happened to retirement? Did you hate your tractor, too?
- Joey Porter wants to become the single-season sack leader. And get this, the Dolphins play the Jets -- and Favre -- in Week 17. Could Favre make history again? Even if Porter is still stuck on 10.5 sacks that week, Favre should take 13 dives to give Porter the record.
- Texas Tech is going to lose to Texas this week. Because really, even Red Raiders suck.
- Anybody else annoyed by that "Yes on 8" commercial that is running here in California? The Mormons have a soundbite of the Mayor of San Francisco doing a Jm J. Bullock impersonation saying that gay marriage is going to happen, whether you like it or not. (Seriously guys, I'm with you, but could you butch it up a little bit? How about, "Vote No on Prop 8, or you never get to see this again. Seriously, you would win.) I was going to work in a vote about Joe Paterno making an ad about that and Penn State reaching the BCS title game, but I lost you at the clip, right?
Georgia is going to get boat-raced this weekend. There are those who think that Georgia should do a replay of that end zone celebration. Don't be that guy. That was awesome once and it worked ... once. Now if you try it again, it's just said.
For instance. I was at a wedding last weekend and the DJ played REO Speedwagon's "Roll With the Changes" at the end of the night. Everybody was on the dance floor, singing and having a great time. One of the revelers suggested that we do it again, because honestly, the whole room was rocking. But that's the thing. It was awesome once, and you need to enjoy that moment and then, as the song says, roll with the changes.
So Georgia, don't do it, and take your whipping like men.
Somewhere, Bain is pissed that he missed that reception.