Seriously, Patriots. You put Brady's name on the injury report every week. Do you think you could continue to mock the system and get away with it? Good luck defending your second-place title.
The Patriots, Chargers, Jaguars and Colts – the one time elite of the AFC – look like ordinary teams. The Steelers, Jets and Bills suddenly look like championship contenders. So what are we to make about the suddenly shaken up AFC?
There were some big surprises on Sunday, no doubt. But let's not panic right now. The only thing we can conclude is that New England’s season is over. All of you Boston scumbags who recently cheered the season-ending injury to Carlos Quentin (and you frigging know that you did), can go eat a bag of (expletive). And don't think that you're even with the universe yet, either. We're still waiting on an arrest of Paul Pierce and for Keith Youkilis to get hit by a bus. Then we might be even.
But hey, you don't want to root for injuries, but having Brady out for the season will make those $1 tacos at Taco Surf seem a little tastier today.
Boston fans, however, should rejoice. At least now, they don't have to pretend that they like football.
As for the rest of you, don’t be so quick to dismiss the Chargers and the Colts. Both teams will struggle without their starting centers, Nick Hardwick and Jeff Saturday respectively. The Chargers are in no danger of losing ground in the AFC West. San Diego could likely start 1-5 and still end up reaching the playoffs. And hey, you know Gomer is going to be there in the end. There can’t be an NFL season where Brady and Gomer don’t make the playoffs.
Don't make too much of the Jaguars losing at Tennessee. The Titans beat them to start 2007, too.
The Bills fooled us once before in 2003 (JD corrected us) when they crushed New England in Week 1. How did that end up? Beating the Seahawks without any credible receivers isn't that big of a deal.
The Jets might be pretty good. Brett Favre is playing well. Love Thomas Jones. Playing Miami tough isn't the end of the world. The Dolphins were surprisingly competitive last year, even though they had a horrible record. The Jets also have Cowgirl.
The Steelers, though, are the most credible team of this bunch. Remember when Willie Parker was going to lose his starting job to a rookie? Don’t worry, nobody else does, either. Ben Roethlisberger can bring it, and Hines Ward is still awesome. If you really care about who is the best team in the AFC after Week 1 (and Raiders fans probably do), then it’s the Steelers.
- Does anybody think that the Chargers gave away the wrong running back? Me neither. But it was good to see Michael Turner so impressive in the Falcons huge win. But before you get too excited about the Matt Ryan era, remember that Ryan Leaf looks all-world in his first two games before that disastrous third game against the Chiefs. Ryan, however, seems a touch smarter than Leaf and he's drawing comparisons to Gomer. As if you need a reason to root against him. When does his first commercial come out?
- The St. Louis FC has so many patches on their jerseys that they look more like a NASCAR team, instead of an NFL team. St. Louis FC might make another bid at 0-16. Wow, that is a fitting tribute for Georgia Frontandrearie.
- Donovan McNabb looks healthy again. There were some, alright me, who scoffed at the drafting of McNabb in recent fantasy drafts. But hey, looking good against the St. Louis FC is easy. Let’s see how he holds up against the NFC East. Place your bets, McNabb suffers a season crippling injury by Week 6.
- Everybody is honoring Gene Upshaw with those GU patches this season. However, it would have been a nice touch if the Chargers, Chiefs and Broncos refused to wear them. That would have likely been a bigger compliment. Raiders fans would probably have gotten a kick out of that.
- All white uniforms are completely underrated.
- Edgerrin James is not dead. He had 100 yards for the Cardinals (on 26 carries). Believe it or not, the Birds are the best team in the NFC West right now. Although, that’s like being the hottest chick in St. Louis.
San Diego State was robbed in its game at Notre Dame. Aztec running back Brandon Sullivan scored a touchdown. Or at the very least, he was down at the 1-inch line. But not only did the homer refs give Notre Dame the ball, the Irish got it at the 20. There are terrorist being waterboarded in Guantanamo Bay who believe that was obscene. Citizens in Darfur who will never know the suffering the Aztecs must feel right now. Hopefully our presidential candidates will weigh in on this injustice today.
Of course, the Aztecs always have a handful of these noble losses each season. Not that losing to Notre Dame carries a sense of pride anymore. Nice program, Irish.
- Congratulations to Penn State for its huge whooping of Oregon State on Saturday. The Nittany Lions now have something in common with Stanford.
- UNLV hung tough with Utah, but they just don’t have a deep roster. But they are moving in the right direction. The difference between 9th and 4th place in the Mountain West isn't that large.
- BYU was very fortunate to defeat Washington. The Cougars were definitely wearing their magic underwear. But this just shows that nobody pushes the Mountain West around.
The Angels are going to clinch against the Yankees this week. Wow, suddenly feeling kind of ill. Hope I can make it to work on Wednesday. *COUGH.*