Thursday, August 28, 2008

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Colts

Do you think your team is going to the Super Bowl? Ha. Your team sucks. Why put yourself through the aggravation every year? The Hater Nation is here to bring you back to reality with the award-winning series, The Super Bowl Buzz Kill.

Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl: Indianapolis Colts.

Gomer has kept the world waiting this summer with his injured knee. Almost as if he hadn’t received enough attention for his numerous commercials, he needed this injury watch to ensure that he remained fresh. Awesome.

Gomer had the same injury that sidelined Marvin Harrison for much of last year. But for those of you who have seen Gomer run, speed really isn’t part of his game. The Colts also do a real good job of keeping pressure off Manning for the most part, so there is no reason to be concerned about lingering problems with his knee.

No, the biggest problem for the Colts is that they have joined that club with the proverbial “puncher’s chance.” The Colts are a team good enough to make a run in a perfect storm of conditions. But probably won’t.

Remember when the Cowboys dynasty started to collapse? The thinking was that as long as they had the Triplets, they still had a chance to win. The Packers with Brett Favre (remember when he played with them?) were always believed to have that “puncher’s chance” as long as the gun slinger was back there throwing the football.

Yet those teams languished as contenders, never able to get back to the Super Bowl. Injuries and free agency began to take a toll. Other younger teams started to move into their place.

The same thing is happening with the Colts.

Bob Sanders, Dwight Freeney and Harrison all suffered injuries last year. A season that ended with a home playoff loss to the Chargers. Gomer missed the entire preseason with his injury. And he's slipping, too. The dude practically put Antonio Cromartie into the Pro Bowl in 2007.

The entire AFC South is conspiring against them, too. Jacksonville is getting better, as are the Texans. Even Tennessee finds a way to win with Vince Young.

And then there’s Tony Dungy. The coach has hinted at retirement for the past couple of seasons. So you begin to wonder how much his heart is really into it. Dungy would probably rather be in California campaigning against equal rights in the upcoming election, instead of coaching football.

This is a formula for a Colts disaster. This team is closer to missing the playoffs than it is to winning the Super Bowl. Nobody, of course, will ever say this outright. But the Colts are clearly on the downside right now and the only question is, how greased are the skids?


THE GOODELL SCALE

(The odds of your team winning the Super Bowl, based on 1-to-5 Goodells. One being worst, five being best.)












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3 comments:

Tony Dungy said...

It's been a while since I wreaked someone asunder.

Bring me the man who wrote this.

flohtingPoint said...

I go away for a couple months and the Jim Sorgi's mom jokes die?

THN said...

She had a big preseason with her son getting a chance to play.