Monday, August 18, 2008

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Cardinals

Do you think your team is going to the Super Bowl? Ha. Your team sucks. Why put yourself through the aggravation every year? The Hater Nation is here to bring you back to reality with the award-winning series, The Super Bowl Buzz Kill.

Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl: Arizona Cardinals.

The Cardinals have not reached the playoffs since 1998 and if their quarterback situation is any indication, they probably don’t want to make the playoffs this season, either.

Not sure if anybody in the Cardinals organization caught the highlights from 2007, but the Kurt Warner Machine was a much better quarterback than Matt Leinart. Much better.

That’s not a knock on Leinart, who could possibly be a good pro quarterback down the road. But the KWM gives the Cardinals the best chance to win right now.

And he’s one the bench.

The Cardinals did spend a first-round pick on Leinart and have invested heavily in making sure that he will be the quarterback of the future. But it’s not as if the team hasn’t pissed away its money on players before (*cough*EdgerrinJames*cough*). Besides, Leinart likely will get a chance to play this season because Warner’s chances of making it through the season healthy is about the same as Charles Barkley keeping to his commitment to quit gambling. Play the proven guy, then bring Leinart along slowly. Forget about the money, just play the best guy.

The Cardinals, however, want to prove that they were right about Leinart. But they have more pressing issues such as making the playoffs, filling that new stadium with Cardinals fans and winning the NFC West. The Seahawks have skated by in the NFL’s weakest division for so long, waiting for somebody to upend them.

The Cardinals, however, are refusing to get into the game. And the most painful part is that coach Ken Whisenhunt knows this. He secretly wants Warner to win the job. Hell, even some in the organization are likely rooting for Warner, too.

What is funny is that there are a couple of teams that desperately need a quarterback. Good teams, too, like the Vikings and Bears. Yet, you never hear them getting into the running for KWM.

So the Cardinals not only refuse to play their best quarterback, they are like that selfish little kid that won’t let anybody else play him, either. Yeah, hard to imagine why this team hasn’t made the playoffs in a decade.

THE GOODELL SCALE

(The odds of your team winning the Super Bowl, based on 1-to-5 Goodells. One being worst, five being best.)













Missed a team? You can click the Super Bowl Buzz Kill 2008 label to see the entire list.

4 comments:

Fletch said...

I hear you RE the Bears, Vikes or whoever possibly wanting Warner, but here the Cards are stuck, too. They'd probably love to move either one of them, but then who's the backup? Look what happened in the past - they had to turn to Tim Rattay or Stony Case or Don Majikowski or whoever the hell would come in and play for them. Their situation sucks, but at least they have two decent-good QBs, which is more than most teams can say.

Jake the Snake said...

Two Goodells? For the St. Louis Cardinals? Bullshit.

Only I could lead the Cards to the playoffs, no less to a playoff victory. That should make me a first-ballot Hall of Famer.

Kyle said...

Bill Bidwill is a cock, no two ways about it. They should really win the NFC West this year, but somehow things will get fucked up. Maybe Billy will trade Edgerrin James and Larry Fitzgerald before the deadline to Dallas for hidden camera photos of Jessica Simpson in the luxury box restroom.

R.J. said...

Two Goodells? Man, that's one Goodell too generous. I'm with Jake on this one.