Do you think your team is going to the Super Bowl? Ha. Your team sucks. Why put yourself through the aggravation every year? The Hater Nation is here to bring you back to reality with the award-winning series, The Super Bowl Buzz Kill.
Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl: San Francisco 49ers.
Good news for 49ers fans, Mike Martz will not be in charge of coach’s challenges this season. Well, not until Mike Nolan is fired, to elevate Martz to the top spot.
Martz already is having a huge impact on the 49ers already.
There are a couple of certainties that come with Martz being an offensive coordinator. For starters, the running back – in this case Frank Gore – is going to have a huge season. If you fantasy league awards points per receptions, grab Gore in the first round. Gore will follow in the footsteps of Marshall Faulk and Kevin Jones (Kevin Jones for crying out loud) who had the best years of their careers under Martz.
Martz also will end the life of his quarterback. And let’s be honest, 49ers quarterbacks get hurt. A lot. Jon Kitna was able to survive in Detroit, but that's more a testament to his iron will, because just look at the trail of crippled QBs he left in St. Louis -- Trent Green, Kurt Warner and Marc Bulger -- were all beaten up.
Martz already has cut out the middle man, so to speak, as he promoted J.T. O’Sullivan to starter. (He will start against Oakland this week.) Right, who?
O’Sullivan was a favorite of Martz when he was a backup in Detroit. O’Sullivan (who played at UC Davis like former Jets quarterback Ken O’Brien) has appeared in six NFL games since being drafted by the Saints in 2002.
Now this is either an indication that O’Sullivan might be the next Warner. Or – and this more likely – Alex Smith and Shaun Hill really, really blow.
So here are the 49ers a team with three equally bad quarterbacks. Winning with bad quarterbacks it tough, but not impossible. Just look at the Giants. The key is that you have to pick the bad quarterback you want to go with, and stick with him. Something that will be tough to do, considering that Nolan will be on the hot seat and won't want to suffer with a young, struggling quarterback.
The 49ers could be one of the surprise teams of the year. Many experts tabbed the 49ers as a possible breakout team prior to last season after finishing 7-9 in 2006. But the season ended in disappointment. Leading them to add Martz. Bryant Johnson could have a solid season and emerge as a No. 1 receiver. Hell, he was playing behind Anquan Boldin and Larry Fitzgerald. So it’s not like he was stuck behind a couple of stiffs. The defense, led by Patrick Willis, Nate Clements, and newly acquired Justin Smith could be pretty decent.
But it all comes back to Martz and the quarterbacks. The 49ers will end up ignoring Gore when games are close. The quarterbacks will suffer maddening sacks and throw interceptions when it matters the most. And this season will end like many others in the wake of Steve Mariucci’s firing. In other words, it won’t be pretty.
THE GOODELL SCALE
(The odds of your team winning the Super Bowl, based on 1-to-5 Goodells. One being worst, five being best.)
Missed a team? You can click the Super Bowl Buzz Kill 2008 label to see the entire list.