Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Super Bowl Buzz Kill: Patriots

Do you think your team is going to the Super Bowl? Ha. Your team sucks. Why put yourself through the aggravation every year? The Hater Nation is here to bring you back to reality with the award-winning series, The Super Bowl Buzz Kill.

Why your team won’t win the Super Bowl: New England Patriots.

Patriots receiver Wes Welker is still a touch butt-hurt after the Patriots stunning loss in Super Bowl 42. But he's trying to move on.

"It's tough, but you know what? That's the way it goes and you've just got to bounce back from it and move on and keep working hard and get ready for the next year," the New England Patriots receiver said.


If you listen to members of the Colts who lost Super Bowl 3, they never got over that upset.

Ever.

Even the win in Super Bowl 5 failed to ease the pain of losing to the Jets. (Something that many teams even feel now when they lose to the Jets.)

The Patriots are going to be forever scared and linked to that loss in Super Bowl 42. In fact, you could argue that the loss cast a shadow of the Patriots three previous Super Bowl wins. Even more so than the videotaping scandal.

Just look at the Dallas Cowboys of the 1970s. The won two Super Bowl titles, but those losses to the Steelers really stand out. Nobody remembers the Cowboys being the first team to hold a Super Bowl opponent without a touchdown. The Cowboys are remembered for Lynn Swann's acrobatics, Jackie Smith dropping a sure touchdown pass. Nobody remembers the wins.

Likewise, the Patriots will be remembered for being the only team to go undefeated in the regular season, only to lose the Super Bowl. There is probably nothing that the Patriots can ever do to make that go away. Well, other than going undefeated in 2008 and winning the Super Bowl.

But do you see that happening?

The truth is, the Patriots could very well win the Super Bowl and that still wouldn’t mean anything. A Super Bowl win would be as hollow as the space between Jeremy Shockey’s ears. Nothing is ever going to erase that point. Why even try?

Besides, Patriots now that the Red Sox have won a pair of World Series titles and the Celtics pulled an upset over the Lakers, nobody cares about you anymore. Boston fans no longer have to pretend to like you so they can have somebody to root for. Three titles in four years and you are still third-fiddle in the worst sports town in America. You have a decent team, but enjoy playing in a black hole.

THE GOODELL SCALE

(The odds of your team winning the Super Bowl, based on 1-to-5 Goodells. One being worst, five being best.)

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stupid Raiders fans still bitter about the tuck rule? I would say to you that you need to get over the tuck rule.

Duff_Lite said...

Dear anonymous:

No Raider fan is running this blog. Now go home and cry in your TJ Maxx cheap-a$$ Brady jersey.

BostonOwnsYou said...

whoever is runing this blog just wishes he/she/it was a Boston sports fan sooooo bad it hurts. Clearly they are soo starved for a winner they take CONSTANT shots at all things Boston. well keepin hatin Bitches Boston will keep winning. bye the way ill be surprised if the giants make the playoffs this year.

Gary Sandy said...

Enjoy it while you can shithead. Boston was at the bottom of the shitter not too long ago and it's only a matter of time before they regain their title of Loserville, USA.

Guy Lafleur said...

We can still pick on the Bruins.

StompYouOut said...

BostonOwnsYou-

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The Hatriot said...

You know, I think y'all are being a little hard on Boston Fan. His money felt really nice, folded up in my wallet after the Patsies took the pipe in front of the biggest sports audience in the world, so just back off.

ps: Thanks for picking up the vig, Patsies fan. I hope it didn't set you back too many quarts of Mickeys or too many packs of those cheap smokes with the Injun Chief on 'em!

THN said...

How come Boston doesn't have any D1 sports programs?