Tuesday, July 08, 2008

Did You Ever Know, You're My Hero?

Brian Bosworth and Tony Gonzalez performed acts of heroism this weekend.

Bosworth helped save a women's life when he helped to pull her out of her rolled SUV following an accident in Canada. This, of course, led many a blogger to say snarky things like "Too bad he couldn't save his own acting or playing career." Ooh, burn. People were actually surprised that it was "Bosworth of all people" (as one a-hole put it) who saved a woman's life. What, just because you appeared in the remake of the Longest Yard means that you won't save somebody?

Grow up, people.

Gonzalez gave the Heimlich maneuver to a choking man in a restaurant. Of course, news reports had to point out that the choking man was a Chargers fan. Marty Schottenheimer perhaps? But they act stunned that Gonzalez would help a Chargers fan. Like Gonzalez would get up, see the guy's Chargers shirt and say, "Choke on it (female dog)."

Hey, it's not like he's a Raiders fan.

And somewhere, Terrence Kiel's soul looks down and asks, "Where were you mother (expletives) when I drove home drunk from a Fourth of July party?"

Still, there is one thing that bothers me. Remember those commercials where they showed people performing good deeds that beget more people doing good deeds? Like the woman who pulled a pizza delivery guy back on the curb before he ran into a delivery truck. The basis of the commercial, evidentially, was that the delivery boy would have been toast if that woman hadn't seen some dude help the old Asian man with his luggage at the airport. Or if that dude hadn't seen that one woman stop a basketball from going into the streets. And so on, and so on ...

In other words, that Chargers fan and car-wreck lady are pretty lucky that Gonzalez say a young man help an old woman cross the street. Or Bosworth saw a fireman get a cat out of a tree. Otherwise, who knows what could have happened?

And here's one other beef with those commercials. What if those people weren't supposed to be saved? What about that woman who saved the pizza delivery boy. What if she turned on the evening news one night and saw that the delivery boy had murdered a family? How would she feel then? Maybe God wanted that kid to walk into the delivery truck and you ruined it?

Like what if you were walking through the airport and some dude dropped something on the ground? And you're like, "Excuse me, Mr. Atta, you dropped your plane ticket and box cutter on the ground here."

Hey, I'm just saying is all. Just something to think about.

But congrats Tony and Brian.


DAWUSS said...

Wow that was as philosophical as Obsidian Entertainment.

Bain said...

Too much. There's too much fucking perspective now.

Kyle said...

Requisite Boz joke:

Where was Bo Jackson to run over Boz?

But seriously, good for him. It doesn't make "Stone Cold" suck any less, but it shows he has humanity which was easy to forget looking at that mullet.

Diane said...

How did Boz get past the border guards and into Canada?

Reader Matt P. said...

Dude... might be too soon on Terrence Kiel.

Anytime I think of Stone Cold, I think of Cool as Ice and the immortal performance of Vanilla Ice. "Drop the zero. Get with the hero." Classic

Mr. Goodell said...

Speaking of a hero, where is my love for being the first fucking commissioner to ever go on an USO tour? I'm the real hero, dickweeds. When I get back, you are all going on notice.

buckyor said...

How did Boz get past the border guards and into Canada?

Comment of the year.

R.J. Lebeau said...

Is it too soon to talk about Terrence Kiel? It's nearly been a week...

I'm still waiting for the autopsy results to determine if there was cough syrup in his system when he got behind the wheel of that Monte Carlo.

Rocksteady said...

How much did you drink to have that much insight in a commercial?