Monday, June 23, 2008

Seriously Kobe, What Does It Taste Like?

By now, you should have seen Shaq's "freestyle" blast on Kobe. And you want to talk about a breathalyzer for Cedric Benson's car, how about one for Shaq's microphone? Thankfully George Carlin was not alive to hear that. That was slightly amusing, but only because it's fun to think of a club full of people asking Kobe how Shaq's bum tastes.

Unfortunately for us, this will probably be as far as it goes. Kobe only does videos when he is ripping on his own teammates. So unless those kids who videotaped Kobe outside of Pacific Whey run into the reigning MVP, there isn't much hope.

But if Kobe really had a sense of humor, he'd find Shaq's wife Shaunie and take a cue from Jimmy Kimmel.

"I'm (expletive)ing your wife Shaunie"
"He's (expletive)ing your wife Shaunie"
"And I just wanted you to know."

"I'm (expletive)ing your wife Shaunie"
"He's (expletive)ing your wife Shaunie"
"Hey Shaq learn to make a free throw."

Yeah, but that's not going to happen. Shaq did try to back peddle by saying that he was only joking around. That he also once dissed Vlade Divac. (Because that's the same.) Making fun of Kobe losing in the NBA Finals is funny. Claiming that he was the reason for your divorce, not so much.

Still, because Shaq is kind of a joker that attempted spin is much better than what Don Imus is trying to do.

Imus, when hearing a story about the legal troubles of Adam Jones (where has he been, it wasn't like he was working until recently?), asked what color the Cowboys cornerback was. When hearing that Jones was black he said, “Now we know.” Because yes, it was a huge mystery what color an NFL cornerback would be. Unless it’s Jason Sehorn, you are probably pretty clear.

Imus then retracted sort of, saying that he meant that Pacman was being targeted because he was black, not committing crimes because he was black. Yes, sure. This, however, is very troubling. Not that Imus said something stupid. But rather that it’s going to give Al Sharpton a reason to feel important again. Perfect. Maybe Sharpton and Imus should have a freestyle contest to settle this thing.


Diane said...

It always amazes me that Imus has enough listeners that the rest of us ever even find out that he said something stupid (again).

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

The best part about Shaq backpedaling is how he describes himself as an emcee, a battle rapper and a jokester. Then he points to his record sales as if that is a gauge of how good he is. I heard the record with the fushinickens and it was horrible. Shaq is cool, but that was just bad. At the same time, it it pretty low to blame someone for your divorce and not the cheating that you did. But it is Kobe, so fuck it, i don't care. He should be like Biggie, and rap about how fat he is now.

Eric B. and Rakim said...

Nice flow, Shaq.

David said...

Shaq is still tbe best NBA EMCEE. Two platinum records, two gold records, four rings. There are people who would give their left nut for one of those things. Dude can say whatever he wants.

Can we get an update on Frontiere's kids wanting to sell the St Louis Football Team?

NFL Adam said...

I find it funny that Shaq goes after Kareem. So laughable. If Shaq wants to talk about rings, he's still behind the Captain.

NFL Adam said...

I'm still wait, David, for somebody connected with Roski to buy the team and to move the team to his new stadium. Maybe they could play one season in the Coliseum for historical sake.

Diane said...

Adam - do you ever read Kareem's blog? It's pretty interesting.

Anonymous said...

Wow, it takes a Don Imus to make Pacman Jones look good.

NFL Adam said...

I read it a couple of times when it was on the LAT website. But I kind of lost touch with it. I'll have to check it out again.