Sunday, June 08, 2008

The Post Mortem

Oh well, at least the hot chick won the French Open.

The NBA had sucked us in (me at least) with the recent hype surround the Lakers and Cellbitch series. Almost enough that you started to wonder why you drifted away from the NBA in the first place. But then Game 2 of the NBA Finals happens and you are reminded why you gave up on it. Like a girlfriend that you take back even though she has cheated on you in the past.

And before we move on, lets consider a couple of things. The NBA is not fixed. They aren't that smart. Being an NBA referee is the hardest thing to do in sports. But holy hell, how do the Celtics shoot something like 20 more free throws in the first half? Don't say because the Lakers are settling for jump shots. The Lakers were attacking the rim in the early going just as vigorously as the Cellbitch, only one team was getting all of the calls. Lamar Odom and Pao Gasol were both going hard to the rim and didn't get anything.

And then you give Kobe a couple of touch fouls in the first quarter? You have to be kidding, right? Kobe gets treated like a Colorado hotel worker every time he touches the ball, and nothing.

This is not sour grapes coming from a Lakers fan. You hate to be the guy who complains about fouls, but good lord that was awful. What's worse is that you know that the Cellbitch are going to be homered out of the gym on Friday (or whenever the hell Game 3 is). That is unavoidable. Is this going to become a series where the home team gets all of the fouls? Lame.

And obviously, the Lakers did get beat to all of the loose balls and were completely out-hustled in this game. But came you blame them? This was akin to being at a blackjack table last night in Las Vegas. The dudes winning have no problems high-fiving people and making a ruckus. The dude who is losing will likely go pass out in a plate of $0.25 chicken wings.

Photo from Busted Coverage.

  • The referees realize that Kobe is the league MVP, right? This almost smacked of elementary school where the kid who was a little behind in class was given four strikes when you were playing kickball. Like the referees wanted to send the Boston crowd home happy.

  • To make matters worse for the Lakers, Doc Buss lost in the first day of his seven-card poker tournament at the World Series of Poker. Shouldn't he have been in Boston trying to help fix the series for the Lakers?

  • Do you think the NFL and NBA made an agreement that if the NFL fixed the Super Bowl so the Patriots would lose, they NBA would respond by making sure the Celtics won the NBA title? Because if you asked a non-partisan person to watch Game 2 of the finals, that person would probably swear he was watching a basketball version of the Longest Yard, with the Cellbitch actually being the prison guards.

  • Reader Matt P. notes that in three of the Lakers playoff losses this season, the Angels have lost on the same day to walk-off home runs. Maybe it's time to suspend the Angels schedule.
Which will happen first, Kobe will get sent to the free throw line in the NBA Finals, or they will finally build this bullet train to Las Vegas? With all of that grant money, can't they build thing by the end of the summer?


Robbie said...

After the Spurs lost, I forgot there's still an NBA Finals going on. :)

I think the bullet train has to be built first. I don't like driving after chugging one of those yards of margarita at La Salsa over at the Luxor and being in the back seat of a taxi in Vegas is almost as scary as being in the backseat of one in Tijuana.

David Stern said...

Of course the NBA isn't fixed. That draconian punishment I laid onto Tim Donaghy and all those other gambling refs should assure everyone that the league is on the up- and - up.

But you know, those su- errr, those wise business men at ABC are paying me a lot of coin for these Finals, which assures our legion of fans (a legion is a couple thousand, right?) that they don't have to be shown at 3 in the afternoon on Animal Planet. So I need to find some way to squeeze at least six games out of this mess.

Perhaps your enjoyment of our product would be enhanced if you viewed it as we do, like performance art, rather than as competition.

Reader Matt P. said...

Props to Mike Wilbon, who, at the very least, made reference to the disparity in the free throws. Jon Barry, ex Sacramento Queen, pointed out that it was all about the Celtics aggressiveness and that Kobe has become a jump shooter. Idiot. What about Pau getting raked, which led to a 3 in the first half? Refereeing to the momentum is one thing, creating said momentum with the calls is a horse of a different color.

Oh, Wife of Reader Matt P. thinks Reader Matt P. is crazy to think that the Angels walk off thing is insane. Is it? Is it??

Bain said...

Playing the NBA finals after this year's Stanley Cup is a little like sending Grandpa Simpson out to make a speech after Barack Obama.

What? The GOP is running who?

Well, looks like a great year to be a hockey fan and a Democrat.

Dan Marino said...

After you passed out, I took all your uneaten $0.25 chicken wings back to the kitchen and re-served them to the next group of drunken idiots that came into my failing restaurant.

Is that cool?

Diane said...

Nice tits.

NFL Adam said...

I missed the boat on the NHL Finals, and wanted to post this last week ... but if you watched any of the NHL Finals and didn't like hockey, then you are never going to like hockey.

The introduction to HD also is going to help out hockey in the long run.

Tom Cruise said...

Wow, you can see that young lady's boob. I hadn't noticed.

Kordell said...

They taste just like chicken.

Clay Aiken said...

Women have boobs. I know because I got one pregnant!

droogie said...

as a mavs fan who watched dwyane wade shoot more free throws that the entire mavs team, i can't feel too sorry for the lakers.

however, i'm a bit surprised that kobe is not this year's wade. i expect to see him average 30 FTs a game in LA.