Friday, May 30, 2008

The Weak Ender

The Seattle Mariners tossed a pair of lesbians out of the stadium for what they called an innocent peck on the lips. Which makes you wonder when Tony Dungy became the head of security at SafeCo. Field.

The couple claims that they were unfairly judged because of their sexual orientation according to one of the victims, Sirbrina Guerrero.

Now Sirbrina, describe this very slowly with plenty of details.

"And he (the security guard) goes 'there's a lady whose son says he saw you guys making out, and I did, too. And you have to stop.' And I said 'well, we weren't making out, but we were kissing and I'm not going to stop,'" said Guerrero.

"(The security guard said) the mom doesn't want to explain to the kids why two girls are kissing. So I said 'well, I'm not going to stop, so you'll have to kick me out. So he said 'so I suggest you leave then,"' she said.


For starters, if that young boy was complaining about two women kissing, then the mother should get ready for lots of viewing of the Wizard of Oz and show tunes in her future. But maybe the kid has as point. As Ufford pointed out on With Lethur, these girls ain't exactly Elizabeth Berkley and Gina Gershon. (Not that the, uh, butchy ones don't deserve to be persecuted.) But still ...

Funny, Safeco officials pointed out that the stadium does have a code of conduct for personal displays of affection. But don’t most stadiums have a kissing cam that encourages couples to kiss? And don’t the comedians working the camera often pan to the two dudes in a the radio booth encouraging them to kiss? So homosexuality is funny until a couple of broads start making out in the stands.

But before we get too outraged by this, you should know that Guerrero was a contestant on Shot at Love 2. Competing for the affections of Blonde's favorite, Tila Tequila. And really, it’s hard to take a reality show media whore’s word for it. Safeco probably should have ousted all parties involved. Baseball has no use for lesbians, annoying mothers or closeted youngsters. Leave baseball for the rest of us fatties husky dudes drinking beers and shoving hotdogs down our throats.

7 comments:

Bain said...

Then again, that kid could grow up to become a multiple Super Bowl-winning quarterback.

Bain said...

Or the editor-in-chief at Maxim, judging by what they consider a hottie.

Okay I'm done now...

Fletch said...

Mike Piazza loves to shove hotdogs down his throat. Then again, he's out of baseball now.

The Hatriot said...

The fact that you would use the Gershon still from "Showgirls" instead of her and Jennifer Tilly going at in "Bound" forces me to assume you posted this while drinking a fuzzy navel and cranking Incubus on the headphones.

Bain said...

Holy crap, I forgot about that "Bound" scene. That was a good one. Was that "director's cut" or did it go to the theaters like that?

Robster said...

Hell, I barely remember this scene from Showgirls. Probably because I own the unrated version.

Blonde said...

Nothing wrong with 2 girls smooching. I kiss girls and I like it.

Tila Tequilla is a Toe rockin twat.

I missed you!