Friday, May 09, 2008

The Weak Ender

Derek Jeter is (expletive)ing his way to the middle. Jeter has been linked to six members of Maxim's (which is way funnier than THN) Hot 100 list.

The ladies are Jessica Biel, Scarlett Johansson, Mariah Carey, Vanessa Minnillo, Gabrielle Union and Jessica Alba.

Funny this list might have been more relevant back in the early part of the decade. Back when the Yankees were relevant, too.

Scarlett Johansson, never really did it for me. Two words about Mariah Carey: Crazy. Vanessa Minnillo has been linked to Nick Lachey, which kind of fits in with Jeter. Although Jeter's smart enough to never appear at any house parties where beer bongs are in play. Gabrielle Union, alright that's not bad. Jessica Alba on these hot lists is the equivalent of some drunk at a bar yelling "Free Bird" to the house band. And Jessica Biel is one Adam Sandler movie away from joining Jeter in doing infomercials.

But what do you expect from a guy who is so jealous of Alex Rodriguez that he won't do the right thing and let the better player take over at shortstop?

Thanks to Titan Tim for sending the link.

ENOUGH WITH THE PETITIONS NEW ENGLAND
Seriously guys, do you really think that you are that important? Remember that Red Sox fan who mouthed off to some Yankees broad and got run over for his troubles? Some delusional Sox fans are trying to get the team to honor him. Yeah, the Red Sox probably love being linked to this story. Yes, this guy laid down his life to support his team.

You know that this is just a precursor to this a-hole's family suing the Yankees, right?

Could you imagine what would happen if the NFL had to do this every time a Raiders fan killed somebody? Please, please, please get over yourselves Boston.

MJD over at the Shutdown Corner found this little ditty where Patriots fans are tying to get an apology from some writer who claimed that Matt Walsh had tapes of New England taping the St. Louis FC walk through prior to Super Bowl 36.

We the fans of the National Football League (NFL) and the New England Patriots demand that the Boston Herald and writer Mr. John Tomase issue an explanation or written apology as to why Mr. Tomase wrote in an article dated February 2nd, 2008 that there was videotape evidence, which showed that the New England Patriots illegally videotaped the walkthrough (sic) of the Saint Louis (FC) the day before Super Bowl XXXVI(36). The integrity of the NFL as well as the New England Patiots organization has been in question since this article was issued, resulting in significant damage to those involved.


Just stop it, people. How about a compromise. You get Curt Schilling to admit that he faked the bloody sock, and this guy will come clean.

HITTING THE LINKS
Darren McFadden is going to ruin Al Davis' plan for another Top 5 pick this season.

Who are the worst sons ever? You don't want to know who Chris Benoit voted for.

Awesome. Check out this link, they now have Corona in a can.

AND FINALLY
Here's wishing that Utah embarrasses themselves tonight by again booing Derek Fisher who had the audacity of wanting to get the best cancer care for his young daughter.

That pretty much says it all.

15 comments:

Diane said...

Corona in a can? Who knew . . .

Anonymous said...

THE RAIDERS WILL GET THE THIRTY SECOND PICK WHEN THEY WIN THE SUPER BOWL YOU ASSHOLES PREPARE FOR RAIDER NATION YOUR TEAMS SUCK GOOOOOO RAIDERS!!!!!!!

Mr. Goodell said...

Have I ever told you how hard it is to get through 32 picks at the draft? Thank God the Patriots lost their pick this year. It's friggin torture.

Kordell said...

Jeter has been linked to six members of Maxim's (which is way funnier than THN) Hot 100 list.

Just six? What about the other 94?

I own Jeter.

Charlton Heston said...

COLD! DEAD! HANDS!

Conrad Hussein Bain said...

Did Vanessa Minnillo used to sing lead vocals for Queensryche?

Cali Tejano said...

The Raiders will probably go 9-7, but that might be enough to win the AFC West this season.

Anonymous said...

How does Danica run over some dude when the Week Ender is done?

Anonymous said...

Jeez, I forgot how much I love reading this blog. I'm back...

Cali Tejano said...

How does Danica run over some dude when the Week Ender is done?

The same reason why Jimmie Johnson wrecks two cars in practice for tonight's race.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

Corona in a Can has been around for awhile. The 12 packs are the new part about them. It just doesn't taste the same though.

Bain said...

Hey piss drinkers, if your Corona just doesn't taste the same coming from a can, maybe you need to turn off your Best Of Erasure CD, take off your ruby glitter cowboy hat, put your pants back on, and walk to the store to buy some Corona in a bottle.

Just sayin.

Jeff Garcia said...

Why walk to the store for Corona when you can ride your moped?

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

Wow, i never heard Corona called piss before. Hmmm maybe i'll start drinking something else?

Diane said...

Thanks, but I get better service at the liquor store when I leave on the cowboy hat, and leave off the pants.