Friday, May 02, 2008

The Weak Ender

The Hater Nation is on pins-and-needles with each passing day as a new Roger Clemens allegation surfaces. Because you know eventually, somebody is going to try to connect Clemens to THN Cover Girl Alyssa Milano.

Clemens loves his girls young. Milano has dated baseball players in the past. You can just imagine the sight of Clemens hanging around the set of Commando, glad-handing Arnold all in a vein attempt to get closer to Milano. Rat bastard.

Thankfully, Alyssa seems a little too attractive compared to some of the Westminster Kennel Club members he’s been linked to.

This situation also has gotten to the point where the only satisfying payoff will be Clemens being driven by Andy Petite in a white Ford Bronco, brandishing a gun to his head. Either that or he can hangout with a bottle of pills while listening to some old Ozzy Osborune records.

Very rare are the times when the SEC is to be applauded, but the conference was heavily lobbying for a four-team playoff system. And that seems very odd. The SEC gets a team in the national championship game seemingly every year, no matter how many losses its best team has.

And yes Auburn fans, cry me a river. Just be glad you were not humiliated by USC that year.

Now, without looking at the SEC’s proposal, it’s idea for a four-team playoff was likely a little skewed. If there is ever going to be a playoff in college football, it should only have one team from every conference, and not the four teams from some conference in the south, which was likely proposed.

A playoff would be cool, but in the end, you are going to have the same problems you have now. A team like Boise State will not get invited, while Georgia and Florida make it into a four-team playoff. So what will it really accomplish? The SEC should be thankful of the current system because really, we’d probably be looking at a different national champion today if LSU and USC played last year. Oh yes, it would be different.

With the NFL Draft over and done, we’ve hit kind of a lull in the sports calendar. The NBA playoffs will not get interesting until the Lakers and Spurs are playing in the conference finals. They typically entertaining NHL playoffs sucked this round. Right down to the Divealanche living up to its name. The Champions League has been pretty good. Baseball is entertaining, but we aren’t in pressing mode.

Hell, if it wasn’t for Clemens and the Mail Man banging under-aged broads, there would be nothing to talk about. Is there a statute of limitations on this kind of stuff?


Mr. Goodell said...

The NFL may have its share of murders, roid abusers and other scumbags. But to my knowledge, we do not have any child fuckers. Suck it, baseball!

Lance Rentzel said...


Mr. Goodell...

WCT said...

I thought the USC whining is only reserved for the fall. Nice to see it in the springtime too.

For the 4,345,678th time, if you can't beat Stanford at home, how are you going to beat LSU?

Bud Grant said...

If you can see Bud Grant, he can see you. If you can't see Bud Grant, you may have only seconds left to live.

Cali Tejano said...

Two words to end this lull in sports jackassery....Marvin Harrison

NFL Adam said...

That is part of it, WCT. USC doesn't complain when they have an embarrassing loss at home.

LSU, on the other hand, tries to sell everybody on how good teams like Kentucky are, constantly spinning like Bill O.

And thanks to Marvin for trying to get us to break up our three-day week.

NFL Adam's mother said...

College baseball is just heating up, faggot.

Kordell said...

It's raining hotties this week at THN!

Johnny Utah said...

your milano-rocket connection is good. she does love her some men in stirrups.

Mr. Goodell, you speak with such confidence. Hold your breath.