Friday, April 11, 2008

The Weak Ender

The Masters is in full swing this weekend, marking yet another event that Jim Nantz will ruin. Hate to go to the old standby, but wouldn’t Gus Johnson make a better candidate to call the action?

Tiger. Backswing. Fire. Check.

Why must so many of our sports by ruined by broadcasting nepotism or clear nincompoopery of announcers? But do you want to one sport that hasn’t been ruined by its announcers? Hockey.

Well only because its never on television.

The Stanley Cup playoffs are actually underway, which is a shame because nobody is getting a chance to see it. People like me can’t watch Craig Johnson, Pavel Rosa and Jamie Storr lead the Kings to the Stanley Cup title this year! Even in Orange County – home of the reigning Stanley Cup champions – you can’t find a Ducks game anywhere.

Now a lot of you don’t follow hockey, and that’s cool. But how many of you religiously follow college basketball, too? That doesn’t stop you from watching March Madness. Hockey playoffs are great because they actually play every other night (might want to try that NBA) and as one wise man put it, seeds No. 5 – 8 actually have a legitimate chance to win. Unlike some of your lower seeds in college hoops.

So if the geniuses would actually put the games on television, a lot of people might be inclined to watch it. Hell, if for nothing else, than to see gals like Elisha Cuthbert in high definition.


Congratulations to Kaiser for his stunning victory in the Hardwood Apocalypse. Now where the hell did you go? Hit the email link to your left to collect your prize. Otherwise, it will be served on the course today.


Ivan Putski said...

Nice with the Cuthbert photo, and improvement over Alyssa Milano. I would have gone with at Kelly Hrudey at goal.

Mr. Goodell said...

Hockey? Are you freaking crazy??? My show is coming up next weekend. You have to be kidding me with this crap.

Mr. Goodell said...

Son of a bitch, I'm pissed.

Cali Hussein Tejano said...

Want to hear something shocking? I saw a Ducks game on Versus last night. That's right. The game wasn't blacked out in San Diego County for once.

Nice Cuthbert photo. You have to admit hockey players seem to attact the hottest babes --and marry them.

Kobe said...

You have to admit hockey players seem to attact the hottest babes

Why waste all that time attracting them when you can just ring the front desk?

Yanic Lehoux said...

I could have led the Kings to the cup this year.

Mr. Goodell said...

Sorry Cali, have you seen the kind of ass our guys Tom Brady and Tony Romo pull? We have the manliest guys playing quarterback in the NFL, thank you very much. Look at Jeff Garcia. Super butch, and pulls a playmate. Yowzers.

Cali Hussein Tejano said...

Hey Commish, check out this impressive list I dug up.

10. Candace Cameron - Valeri Bure
09. Carol Alt - Alexei Yashin
08. Anna Kournikova - Pavel Bure/Sergei Fedorov
07. Rachel Hunter - Sean Avery/Jared Stoll
06. Hilary Duff - Mike Comrie
05. Willa Ford - Mike Modano
04. Elisha Cuthbert - Sean Avery
03. Gena Lee Nolin - Cale Hulse
02. Angelica Bridges - Sheldon Souray
01. Veronika Varekova - Petr Nedved

Actresses, Baywatch babes and SI swimsuit girls, oh my!

Cali Hussein Tejano said...

And I forgot to add my favorite...

Paris Hilton -- denied Sean Avery.

That doesn't happen very often.

Bain said...

Sorry Cali, have you seen the kind of ass our guys Tom Brady and Tony Romo pull?

Pulling Jessica Simpson eight years ago might have been something to brag about. Pulling Jessica Simpson after Nick Lachey and the Male Lilleth Faire have thrown her over is just plain bad for the league.

Diane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Diane said...

Getting sloppy seconds to the entire cast of Jackass is nothing to brag about

Kaiser said...

Not sure how i ended up winning, but okay then! by the way i love hockey. go pens.

Cali Hussein Tejano said...

Mr. Goodell -- Pacman's applying fo reinstatement on Tuesday. Is he in or out?

Mr. Goodell said...

Depends on how much he kisses my ass. I like my players to act a certain way. And lips on cheeks is one of the requirements.

Cali Hussein Tejano said...

LOL!!! Looking forward to Tuesday.

Bain said...

Don;t know about the rest of you, but I want to see the post Diane put up that was removed!