Sunday, April 27, 2008

 

The Post Mortem: More Pointless Draft Talk

God bless the new rules to the NFL Draft that saved four years off your life. Or four hours, rather. It just seems like years when Rich Eisen is mugging for the camera. Eisen would probably be ripped as much as Chris Berman if, you know, people actually watched or had the ability to watch NFL Network.

Still, the NFL Draft was much more fluid this year and actually rolled like a finely tuned machine. Jake Long was introduced immediately. The St. Louis FC did dally with its second pick, but for the most part, everything flew.

Now, before we get into the draft, there was a time when everybody would race to give draft grades. Then there were guys like Don Banks (and forgive me if he's not the guy I'm thinking of because it could have been Dr. Z) who started this whole "you can't really grade a draft until five years from now."

And really, no (expletive), genius. But that's like doing a fantasy football draft after the season already has been completed. Why don't you just cram it?

What you can measure is how well a team addressed its needs and if the pick is causing some excitement to the fan base. Hate to say this, but you know Raiders fans are geeked over Darren McFadden. And to be honest, he will likely be a good pick for them. He's already a criminal, so they have that going for them. The Raiders also had bigger needs, but you look at what a guy like Adrian Peterson did for the Vikings and you can't blame the Raiders for doing that. Drafting McFadden makes much more sense than throwing all of that money at Javon Walker, right?

McFadden was a good pick. And it sucks when idiots like Banks indiscriminately rip the Raiders no matter what they do. That only discredits the rest of us Raiders Haters with legitimate beefs. There's plenty to rip the Raiders about without having to make stuff up (which Banks certainly does). Stop making my job so hard.

Here are three teams that probably helped themselves in the draft this weekend.


Here are some teams that you have to question.


HEADLINES THREE YEARS FROM NOW
We tried this feature last year, after ripping it off from FOX Sports Radio. And do you remember what our top "beef" was last season? The Chargers passing on Dwayne Jarrett. That's right. But there is two more years for Jarrett to make me look smart, but nobody is holding their breath.

Teams regret passing on Kevin Smith. For all of your fantasy geeks, make sure you pick up Smith this season. He will be the Lions starting running back. He will be the Curtis Martin of this draft. (Guess who is the Sherman Williams.)

Falcons to draft a quarterback. Sorry, but Matt Ryan just screams of NFL bust. There is no real evidence why this is true, just trust me.

New Raiders Coach Rick Neuheisel has plans for Russell, McFadden. Three years from now, the Bruins should be on probation and Rick will be finally get an NFL gig. But how many coaches will the Raiders have gone through by then?

Woodson named starting quarterback for Giants. Just kidding. Eli can do pretty much whatever he wants, which is kind of what he does now. This Giants pick, however, shows that there are still some doubts with Eli.

AND FINALLY
Woodson is a risky pick for the Giants. Especially if his wonderlic score is any indication. Turns out that former USC and current Vikings quarterback John David Booty is a huge dope, too. That is not shocking.

Labels:


Comments:
Woodson and Booty did better on the Wonderlic than Vince Young, that's for sure.


My word verification was "seyjo", which is what all three men thought was the answer to the first question.
 
Don Banks wasn't quite as bad as MSNBC's writers. They gave the Raiders a D+ for drafting a gamebreaking running back.

Those bastards gave the Raiders a D for starting out the season 4-4 last season, and their main writer covers the Donks.
 
Woodson named starting quarterback for Giants. Just kidding. Eli can do pretty much whatever he wants, which is kind of what he does now. This Giants pick, however, shows that there are still some doubts with Eli.

Wow, you're hilarious. Have you seen the depth behind Eli? Woodson's is already the second most talented QB on the Giant's roster. Wait, you didn't see the Pats draft a QB in the 3rd round? Seems like this Tom Brady experiment isn't working so well. And considering this guy was picked in the 3rd round he'll be twice as good, right? Idiot.
 
The over/under on when the Raiders sign McFadden? October 1.
 
You know, sometimes, don't you just chuckle at the gayness of it all?
 
Cali, I gave your team credit, but you are going to have to change your avatar.

I would be shocked if McFadden shows up on time to Raiders camp. But hey, running backs don't really need that much time.

Bain, I hear they are thinking of moving the draft to Super Paradise next year.
 
Don't try to gets on the Raiders bandwagon now, BITCHES!!!

The RAIDERS will win the West. Lock it!
 
I hate Willie Parker. He is taken down by too many arm tackles. I like the Steelers pick. He took Illinois to the Rose Bowl.
 
phatty,

Do you think Mr. Goodell would do the draft next year in spats, with SADE playing in the background?
 
Bain, I hear they are thinking of moving the draft to Super Paradise next year.

Really, who needs a Super Bowl when you can have a Super Paradise Bowl?
 
Uh, I've read this piece of shit five times and I don't see my once. Didn't you see me glad-handing the common folk during the draft? Me. Mr. Goodell was mixing with the mass unwashed. (Some of those Jets fans could use a shower, too.) This is unacceptable.

Where is my credit for making this draft run smoother? This is bullshit.
 
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