Sunday, April 13, 2008

The Post Mortem: Good News for Obama

You can’t blame Barack Obama fans for having a little extra spring in their step today.

In a year when Obama seeks to become the first African American to win the presidency, it seems only fitting than an African American would win The Master’s. Congratulations to your new champion, Trevor Immelman.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Immelman isn’t the first African American to win The Master’s. Gary Player who won The Master's it in 1961 was the first. The same year that John F. Kennedy was inaugurated as President. And Obama, of course, often is compared to JFK.

Crazy, right?

But it gets more interesting. Obama and Immelman are both left handed. (Trevor is one of those guys who learned how to golf right handed with hand-me-down clubs.)

Don’t be surprised to see Hilary drop out of the race today. Just look at the signs people.

TIGER IS PROWLING
Tiger Woods could be 12 shots off the lead and the CBS announcers will still refuse to throw in the towel for him. Although Tiger himself threw in the towel when he opted for that hot pink shirt, instead of his Sunday red. Good Lord, what was that?

Jim Nantz and the rest of the boobs turn into homer Braves announcers anytime that Tiger makes a great shot. “If Tiger can ace this par five, and Immelman triple-bogeys the next hole, we would have a match.”

We get it, Tiger means ratings. But how about giving some credit to the stories that are actually unfolding before you? Nantz never seemed to give the full sell on Immelman until late on 18th, as his Tiger enthusiasm was finally dampened.

Of course, now this will lead to a rash of “Tiger is done” stories because everybody is bipolar when it comes to covering Tiger. He’s either the best of all-time or he’s lost his fire. How about, the guy just had a bad weekend?

REASON NO. 345 TO HATE RED SOX/YANKS
Some Boston douche nozzle thought he was getting over on the Yankees by burying a Red Sox jersey in the new Yankee Stadium. Instead, the Yankees spent overtime to unearth the jersey. Construction worker Gino Castignoli thought he was being a wiseguy by planting a jersey in the stadium bowels. And to be truthful, finding the bigger greaseball here is daunting.

  • The case for Gino: Well, the dude’s name is Gino. He’s likely got that receding front hair line/ponytail combination working, with a mix of Kevin Cronin. Have you ever known a Gino that was actually a productive member of society? Most Ginos are born in a cable repair truck, clutching a set of Pontiac Fiero keys. People, if you name your kid Gino, you might as well cut out the middle man and have him registered on the Megan’s Law website. The dude claims to be a huge Red Sox fan, bragging about this (and ultimately getting caught) proves that he is bigger attention whore than fan. He should have waited until the stadium was finished, then made them dig up their Legend’s Club. Loser.

  • Case for the Yankees. Well, they have become so petty that an uneducated construction worker making $9/hour nearly got over on them. And now they are considering a lawsuit against him. Please do it. There will be no winners in that case. But look at the bright side Yankees, it could have been worse. That could have been an Angels jersey.

AND FINALLY
Not much else going on. The Cowboys are getting closer to landing Pacman Jones. Probably for a fifth-round pick. Wow, the Cowboys could be getting a steal if he can contribute to the team. Odds are he will likely get caught stealing at Baby Doll's in Dallas.

The Lakers are your leaders in the West Conference. Has Andrew Bynum come back yet? Too lazy to look. And quite frankly, nobody out here cares until the playoffs.

The Tigers still stink. And like the Yankees, everybody is writing their obituaries, but they will be there in October. Don't even question it.

8 comments:

Seitz said...

I'm pretty sure Immelman is just plain old African.

How about, the guy just had a bad weekend?

And still beat all but one guy.

And I can't blame Nantz and the crew for acting as they did. They needed to make it a story, and if the putts on 13 and 11 had gone the other way, then Immelman would have been coming off a bogey going to 12, where Flesch had just dunked one, and where Imm still made bogey. Could have been down to two right there, with a lot of tough holes left. And it's not like Imm has a lot of experience leading a major championship.

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

An Italian guy named Gino living in New York would never drive a Fiero. Then again an Italian guy named Gino living in New York would never be a Sox fan either.

DAWUSS said...

Didn't the Patriots have a runningback named Gino?

NFL Adam said...

Immelman moved to the United States when he was still a young boy. (Come on, like I wasn't expecting that one?)

Mr. Goodell said...

Golf. Now we are talking fucking golf??? I'm trying to keep Pacman in suspense about his future and you bury that at the bottom? This site sucks. I'm so over you.

10 foot poll said...

I'm out.

Jim Nantz said...

And I can't blame Nantz and the crew for acting as they did. They needed to make it a story, and if the putts on 13 and 11 had gone the other way, then Immelman would have been coming off a bogey going to 12, where Flesch had just dunked one, and where Imm still made bogey. Could have been down to two right there, with a lot of tough holes left. And it's not like Imm has a lot of experience leading a major championship.


I like the way this guy thinks. He's hired!

Anonymous said...

It would make sense if Tiger Woods had ever come from behind on Sunday to win a Major. He's never done that.