Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Bad News About the Economy

The shrimp cocktail at the Golden Gate (known as the sea monkey stew in some circles) has risen from its traditional 99 cents to $1.99. That's an outrage. But you have to figure that the price was raised to keep up with the price of entertainment on the casino floor.

Speaking of casinos, you might have read on Deadspin the story of Tony Romo who allegedly lost $2.5 million at the blackjack table at the Hard Rock Hotel. Jessica Simpson wasn't pleased. And who can blame her? Hit singles have evaded Simpson like a playoff win has avoided the Cowboys.

"It began when Jessica, Tony and the players all hit the Peacock Lounge for high limit blackjack. Jessica was said to have won $5,000 and then they retired to their penthouse while the others went onto the Body English nightclub. The couple even spent some time tanning in the sunshine rays at the new $8 million makeover pool at the Hard Rock while watching the NFL draft on their private cabana HD TV screens. At some point, however, allegedly Tony, who was rumored to be paid a $15,000 appearance fee at Body English took the money and went gambling. My spywitnesses tell me that by the time he was finished he'd lost a fortune and I swear to you I was told that the figure could have run as high as a whopping $2.5 million. Whatever the staggering loss totaled it immediately put a damper on their fun weekend. I'm reliably told Hard Rock officials offered to pay Jessica a bonus $25,000 if she'd co-host at Body English the second night with Tony.

Allegedly a livid Jessica refused because she's paid far more for personal appearances and the fun weekend had suddenly turned into a commercial gig. Also she was said to be "angry beyond words" over his gambling and the large loss. Insiders told me that one thing led to another and they wound up in a "furious fight."

The Hater Nation, however, has found the secret footage from Romo's gaming exploits.


Cali Tejano said...

He probably could have made up his losses playing a round of golf with Michael Jordan and Charles Barkley.

Dare I ask what a yard of margarita costs La Salsa at the Luxor nowadays?

The Hatriot said...

But... but...
Tell me they haven't raised the price on the football beers!
Normally, I would go on about the Bush economic miracle, but I have to go chase a couple of hobos off the side yard. They keep using the dryer exhaust to try and cook their shoe leather...

Bain said...

Hatriot, those aren't hobos and that's not shoe leather.

Those are the chefs from the Main Street, and they're preparing the prime rib.

Anonymous said...

I was just there at the Old N Gay and the piano player was there too. I wanted to get a sea monkey cocktail for old times sake but couldn't do it.

Went to the Fremont to shoot craps and the fucters would only allow 2x odds, so I went to Binions where they allow 10X odds and promptly won $1800.

The football beers are still there and the Everclear banana smoothies are going to be renamed the Phatty, don't understand why though.