Monday, March 24, 2008

NFL Players Have the Worst Excuses

When Brandon Marshall claimed that he had slipped on a bag of McDonald’s, you knew that there would more to the story. (And there is, as Marshall has now let the Broncos know that he was wrestling with some family members and the injury is way more severe that first acknowledged.)

The reason that we know this? The excuse was too lame.

Not even in the, that was so incredibly horrible it has to be true way. And the reason for this is because NFL players have skated through life and have never had to lie to their employer about missing work. That’s something all of us working stiffs have done for years. These guys have never had to try to convince their employer that it’s only a coincidence that you have the flu on the same day as an Angels’ day game. These guys have never had to lie to their employer about why they were in Lake Havasu for the weekend. Well, unless they were Cedric Ceballos.

That’s why the McDonald's bag-gag didn’t work. They are too unbelievable and completely without thought. McDonald's bag? Nobody – other than David Hasselhoff – eats hamburgers off of the floor.

Next time Brandon, try the old “tripped over the dog” gag because that seems a little bit more believable. And any dog owned by a Broncos player would probably know how to chop-block so it would have been believable.


Anonymous said...

There is truth to this rumor, believe me... Brandon and his cousin were wrestling over the last Egg McMuffin.

Jared from Subway said...

Did somebody say Egg McMuffin?

Mama Cass said...

I once fought a ham sandwich.

Fletch said...

What a lame excuse. NFL players really are the worst, aren't they?

- Jeff Kent