Monday, February 25, 2008

THN's Take on Immigration

The hot-button issue for the presidential race is immigration and securing our nation’s borders. Well, at least the border that keeps Mexico out.

And this needs to stop. I would like to jump on the border at Otay Mesa and demand -- much like Ronald Regan once did -- that we "tear down this wall." Mexican people are useful for our society. The contribute. And hell, what would the Raiders attendance be without them?

THN would like to advocate erasing the borders and allowing peaceful people to cross our border (as illustrated below).




However, we do need a wall to preserve our way of life. We need a wall to keep out the scourge of society and leave the most dangerous immigrants in the dirty crap factories that they crawled in from.

In other words, we need a wall to keep New Yorkers and Bostonians the hell out.


Is it impossible to think of a world where New Yorkers and people from Massachusetts actually lived in New York and Massachusetts? Hell, I'd be a Minuteman on that wall, shooting any greaseball in a Jeter jersey making a dash for the border.

It's not like we are racist against those from the Northeast. Hell, some of our best friends are from New York and Boston. But they are some of the good ones. Most of these dirty immigrants sneak into California, Arizona and Colorado, steal our jobs, send their illiterate kids to our schools, and clog our freeways. They have their own place to live, so they should just stay there.

Hell, a lot of them can't even speak proper English. They show up at our sporting events talking about the Gawhden or the Monstah or the Bronx like its some great place. Well this is America, and you a-holes can either love it or leave it.

INS could have camped outside Staples Center last night to round up all of the front-running greasebacks who didn't care about the Celtics a year ago. They should send a green truck right down to the Sports Dork Bill Simpson's house and make him the poster boy for Northeastern deportation.

We deserve to live in a world where we can go to an Angels baseball game and not sit next to some drunk a-hole from New York and Boston who badmouths our country, throws f-bombs and won't honor our flag.

And there are some in the movement who believe that the new border should be extended even more:






But that may be getting a little ahead of ourselves. Although, college football already seems to have unofficially enacted that border.

Nobody wants to get political, but this just had to be said.

18 comments:

DAWUSS said...

Looks similar to the borders we had for the Civil War.

The Hatriot said...

If we walled off the South, would California get to stop subsidizing the red states with our Federal taxes? If Mississippi and Alabama actually had to pay for their own stop signs, they might be less likely to shoot them. On the down side, they'd try to reinstate slavery before the wall was even finished. As that chronicler of the American condition, Bugs Bunny, once opined "Why did they have to put the South so FAR south?" My verification word is "icuwzsco" which as everyone in South Carolina knows is the traditional toast to make before you throw the first copy of "Catcher in the Rye" on the bonfire...

buckyor said...

Wisconsinites living in Maine would be allowed to travel freely

I appreciate that, and might even take advantage of it if I could find a flight for less than $1000.

But what about my Arizona-born wife?

Diane said...

Amen, brother.

flohtingPoint said...

With those new borders, the rankings in college sports sure would look odd... I mean, who would the coaches mindlessly vote for. They might even *gasp* have to watch a few games to place votes w/out just picking random SEC schools.

GMoney said...

We also have to stop people from the future coming in and taking all of our jobs...god damn goobacks.

Anonymous said...

If it wasn't for New Yorkers, nobody would live in your shitty state.

Mav said...

did you know that at the turn of the 1800s, new yorkers were known as douche bags? But not as a put down. it wasn't until 1923 that douche bags were actually invented and the name was derived from the nickname of new yorkers. true story.

Ed in WLA said...

All your base are belong to us!

El Che said...

Let the revolution begin!

Seitz said...

Hell, some of our best friends are from New York and Boston. But they are some of the good ones

For the record, I'd be willing to send the good ones back if it meant keeping the rest locked up. It would be a sacrifice, but it would be worth it.

Robster said...

This doesn't go far enough. We need to fortify the California border at the Colorado River so we can stop ganking water from Northern California.

confused_questions said...

haha I am glad in far away from that border, all the way down in Texas. Hopefully, I am safe from all the North-easterners!

Little U said...

But they are some of the good ones.

LOL!^- :P --- c=8

Conrad Bain said...

I've got a wall around my Aspen compound that keeps the whole muther-effing world out.

Marmon said...

Freakin crackers... I am still pissed about the GA....I mean some of the sharpest minds I have EVER met lurk here and you let Madtown win...

Ah well...I like him too.

Bain said...

I've constructed a wall out of THC and alcohol that nobody can get through, not even my loved ones.

farley said...

Bain,

Aspen????? Yeah right, you live in freaking Northern Wyoming. Freaking $80 cab ride later.