Wednesday, February 20, 2008

It's Officially the Offseason: A Raider is Arrested

The offseason is officially underway now that the Raiders have secured their first arrest. Cornerback Fabian Washington was arrested on domestic battery charges and released on bond.

The Raiders have become one of the worst franchises in NFL history and are only a shell of their former glory. And that's just in the off-the-field jurisprudence. There was a time when seemingly all NFL arrests and domestic violence charges came from the Raiders. Now they are being lapped by teams such as the Tennessee Titans, Atlanta Falcons and Carolina Panthers.

Back in the glory days, if the Titans had a cornerback who shot a bouncer, the Raiders would shoot five. If a Falcons quarterback ran a dog-fighting ring, the Raiders would have cock fighting at practice.

And seriously Washington, this was only barely domestic violence.

The woman, however, said Washington grabbed her from behind and "backpedaled" her away from the couple's baby. The deputy said he observed "slight red marks" on the victim's neck and that Washington was arrested.


Backpedaled? Like the thing that Robert Gallery can’t do? That's what counts for Raiders violence now? Jim Otto's bloody knuckles are rolling in his grave right now.

10 comments:

OJ said...

I'll show you some "slight red marks."

shane said...

no

John McCain said...

Hey THN, if you're looking for a hottie pic for this week's Week Ender, I've got some Poloroids of a little lobbyist I know who could suck a golfball through a garden hose. I'll ask one of those damn kids on my lawn how to work this scanner and send you the shots. And remember, immunity for the telecoms!

Anonymous said...

How could you forget the Bengals?

Robster said...

I've noticed the dearth of police blotter activity by the Raiders in recent seasons. Will more arrests bring more wins? It did in the old days.

John McCain said...

Keep an eye out for my new book, "The Audacity Of Pipe."

Tommy Tuck Rule said...

Well kiss my Grits! I can't believe you snuck jurisprudence into a post.

The Hatriot said...

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Your new campaign slogan, Senator:
Four More Years!

I'll wait to hear from your people. BTW, my verification word is "xbnugimz" which, insiders tell me, is what Babs Bush mumbled into her tumbler of scotch when she realized that the only gig Jeb will be able to get now is on the Heritage Foundation dinner circuit...

Anonymous said...

If you can't get any pictures of that lobbyist, then maybe we can use McCain's daughter who Dubya used to scare off all of the Southern voters in the 2000 primary.

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