Monday, March 03, 2008

How Raiders Fans Are Conceived

Gina Cruz here demonstrates how she earns her ticket money to Raiders games. But the joke is on her, because those tickets would probably be given away for free.

Just kidding.

Ms. Cruz was selected as Raiders Online No. 1 fan. Which is akin to being valedictorian at Cal State Northridge. You have to wonder what somebody does to become the No. 1 Raiders fan. Is it based on the number of Chargers fans stabbed per year? The most likely explanation is that the webmaster felt he could get somewhere with her if he bestowed her this owner. But in truth, he probably could have gotten her with a half-eaten hot dog and six pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon.

Notice, too, that Gina is wearing a Randy Moss jersey. She probably needs to make a couple more trips to the back of the Expedition to make enough money for a new jersey. (And speaking of Moss, do you wonder if the Raiders made a pitch to Moss this week?)

But congratulations, Gina. And remember, those football pants are not your friend. They give you that Earl Campbell look.

13 comments:

flohtingPoint said...

My God man, in that other pic you posted I swear that someone cut Barry Sanders in half and stitched an upper torso on a woman on his legs.

DAWUSS said...

My word verification is "gplvdb", which was what I mumbled amidst vomiting upon seeing that image.

The Hatriot said...

And she'll tease you
She'll unease you
All the better just to please you
She's precocious and she knows just
What it takes to make a pro blush
She got Chuck Bednarik stand off sighs
She's got Earl Campbell thighs


Alright. Got the mandatories out of the way. Seriously, I don't know how it happened, but I clicked on that second picture and now I'm gay. Not just a little, either. We're talking Zima-pounding, listening to Incubus in my VW Cabriolet gay. In other words, slightly more butch than our host. At least the Honk didn't print her winning entry, which I understand was a recreation of Gustave Courbet's The Origin of the World. (under/over on anyone but Bain getting that joke: 0)

DAWUSS said...

Rumor has it Brett Favre has retired. Although I wonder if it's just a rumor...

Bain said...

Oh, reminds me... I need to buy a bottle of 4-stroke oil for my Toro Weed Wacker. Thanks, Hatriot.

Kordell said...

I'd tap that.

Anonymous said...

Oh shit, she's wearing eye black. I thought you drew in a couple more black eyes again. My bad.

Robster said...

Damn, I thought only the cheerleaders had a full set of teeth.

Diane said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NFL Adam said...

Wow, Diane probably said something really mean. Sorry I missed it.

Diane said...

Actually, after I posted I realized it sounded too stupid even for THN . . .

(not that mean would be hard to do . . .)

NFL Adam said...

Too stupid for THN? Wow, that was mean.

Diane said...

Hey, it's a lot of pressure being the token female

(and I do appreciate that you fellas let me play along)