Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Drinking Island Style

After reading all of the comments in my absence, here is a quote from North Shore that all of you mainlanders can relate too. "You are so haole, you don't even know you are haole."

The Hatriot and Bain seen to think that my drink of choice is the lemon drop martini or Bailey's Irish Creme. But if you really want to know, you can't walk anywhere in Honolulu without having a "Lava Flow" shoved in your face. They don't even give you a lei when you get off the airplane, but they can't put a "Lava Flow" in your hand fast enough. You almost get the impression that they serve "Lava Flows" to kids at school instead of milk.

Like the Tequila Rose of the Islands.

Nobody is quite sure what the ingredients are in a "Lava Flow", but there is an additive that makes all of the crappy merchandise at the local ABC Stores look appealing. Consume a few "Lava Flows" and your entire family will soon be clothed in pooka shells and Hawaiian shirts. Or maybe it will mask the pain that your "Lava Flow" costs the same as a semester in junior college.

But be advised, don't walk into one of the local, non-touristy joints and order a "Lava Flow" unless you want to wear those pooka shells the same way a popsicle wears a stick. The locals only drink straight-guy drinks such as appletinis.

8 comments:

Bain said...

That's not booze. That's Boy George in a glass!

I think we now have the official drink for Vegas Stock '09.

lumps said...

That drink is supposed to be the height of manliness, damn, phatty butch up a bit. Even T.O. thinks you are too womanly.

Nice umbrella also. Does that drink come with it's own haitian pool boy to rub your bunions?

The only thing that would make it better is if there was a glass of Widberry beerd sitting right next to it.

That would be asstasstic!!!

Amaysing1 said...

Best local drink: Hand Grenade (New Orleans)

Diane said...

I guess the import taxes on Miller High Life are prohibitively high?

insomniac said...

Was this the "coffee nerdness" equivalent of a MMQB post? First the travel anecdotes, and then this...I guess "8 things I thought I thought" is right around the corner.

The Hatriot said...

Excuse me, I speak Honk. Allow me translate:
I wrote this post at while waiting for my boarding call. I'm cueing up Chromeo on the headphones as I down another SoCo and Seven and fondle the Hummel "Precious Moments" figurine I picked up at the Duty Free Shop...

Yiddish Steel said...

Being the "Regular Guy" that you are, Adam, I figured you'd be extolling the virtues of drinking Primo.

Yiddish Steel said...

Best local drink: Hueraderra 12 Anos (San Quitin, BCN)