After reading all of the comments in my absence, here is a quote from North Shore that all of you mainlanders can relate too. "You are so haole, you don't even know you are haole."
The Hatriot and Bain seen to think that my drink of choice is the lemon drop martini or Bailey's Irish Creme. But if you really want to know, you can't walk anywhere in Honolulu without having a "Lava Flow" shoved in your face. They don't even give you a lei when you get off the airplane, but they can't put a "Lava Flow" in your hand fast enough. You almost get the impression that they serve "Lava Flows" to kids at school instead of milk.
Like the Tequila Rose of the Islands.
Nobody is quite sure what the ingredients are in a "Lava Flow", but there is an additive that makes all of the crappy merchandise at the local ABC Stores look appealing. Consume a few "Lava Flows" and your entire family will soon be clothed in pooka shells and Hawaiian shirts. Or maybe it will mask the pain that your "Lava Flow" costs the same as a semester in junior college.
But be advised, don't walk into one of the local, non-touristy joints and order a "Lava Flow" unless you want to wear those pooka shells the same way a popsicle wears a stick. The locals only drink straight-guy drinks such as appletinis.