Reggie Bush and Kim Kardashian are engaged. Allegedly. Ms. Kardashian would like to request her privacy at this time. And by respect her privacy, she means take a look at her vagina in the December issue of Playboy. Or in her sex tape. Or check out her reality show.
You want your privacy? Millions of viewers want the hours of their life back spent watching your reality show. Although, watching Bush's nutty parents break bread with Bruce Jenner over Easter would be a very special, must-see episode.
But enough about Bush, and time to talk about some teams that are actually in the playoffs. Here is a look at the four playoff match ups.
Washington at Seattle
The Seahawks need to win this game and finally put an end to all of this Sean Taylor stuff. Tragic story, sure. But the NFL has gone overboard playing this angle up, even allowing most of the NFL to wear the No. 21 decals on their helmets. Gomer couldn't wear black high tops in tribute of Johnny Unitas, but the NFL is kicking around the idea of putting a big No. 21 at midfield during Super Bowl 42. A better idea would be to force all receivers to participate in Super Bowl 42 hungover in honor of Max McGee. So the quicker we get rid of Washington, the better. Just don't expect it to be Seattle. The Seahawks can no longer run the ball and have become one of those one-dimensional, throw-first teams that never survive in the playoffs.
Jacksonville at Pittsburgh
Didn't they play this game like three weeks ago? The Jaguars were much better than the Steelers then, and why should we feel different now? Because everybody and their mother (even Jim Sorgi's Mom) feels that Jacksonville will be the team to challenge the Patriots. They won't. The Steelers are going to abuse the Jaguars, and David Garrard will likely match his season interception total in this game. Jacksonville is due for a letdown, and this game will be it.
New York Giants at Tampa Bay
Patron Saint of THN, Jon Gruden, has a chance to build on his legacy by knocking Eli Messiah out of the playoffs. And what is the mindset of the Giants this week? They played their Super Bowl last week and lost. The Buccaneers were laying on the beach and enjoying some fishing. The self-imposed layoff should make this game much closer than it should be, but Tampa Bay's defense is playing as well as it ever has. The prediction here is that Ronde Barber will have at least one interception return for a touchdown.
Tennessee at San Diego
This had the makings of a huge Titans upset, until all of their receivers got hurt. First, Bo Scaife lacerated his kidney and now receiver Roydell Williams broke his ankle. (Couldn't be the karma for the cheap shot on Shawne Merriman?) The Chargers don't even need to show up on the field and all of the Titans will start falling over. Still, the aura of an upset still lingers in the air. Especially since 500 tickets still remain, meaning the game could be blacked out in Southern California. Don't blame Chargers fans, though. You grab the boiling pot so many times before you learn to keep your hands to yourself. And hell, it might rain. If there is something Southern California fans won't do in the rain -- other than drive -- it's going to sporting events. Instead, we'll sit in our 695 s.f. cookie-cutter home as it slides down a burned-out hillside in our master planned community.
Javon Walker has come to the realization that he was much better off having Brett Favre throw to him than Jay Cutler, according to this story sent to us by Bucky. So it turns out that Walker is just like Terrell Owens, without the heart and touchdowns.