Sunday, January 27, 2008

The Post Mortem

Lane Kiffin said that the first thing he was going to do after being hired as coach of the Raiders was to purchase tickets for his wife and children in the dreaded, “Black Hole.” Kiffin obviously had scouted the Raiders a little bit. Too bad that he was checking season ticket plans instead of finding out why the Raiders haven’t employed a coach for longer than two years since Jon Gruden’s run.

At least Kiffin will have a spot to watch the Raiders this season.

But what does that say about the Raiders? They are even firing season ticket holders now. Darth Raider, Gladiraider and Paroahraider are all likely trembling right now, fearing that they will be demoted to St. Louis FC fans. Kiffin should be so lucky.

Kiffin has become the scapegoat for trading Randy Moss, the lack of development of JaMarcus Russell and Norv Turner taking the Chargers to the AFC Championship Game. All while ignoring that Kiffin double Art Shell’s win total from a season ago.

Kiffin did persuade the brass to trade Moss, but what good was he doing in Oakland? They didn’t have a quarterback who could get him the ball. Who, however, was the guy who decided to send him to New England? The Raiders just piddled on themselves by making that move, conceding the AFC to the Patriots for at least one season. You don’t send a talent like Moss to a conference rival. Take a seventh-round pick and send him to the NFC.

This kind of thing wouldn’t happen if Al Davis was still alive.

The Raiders knew they were headed for a long holdout with Russell because, well, the Raiders are cheap and Russell wanted a lot of guaranteed money. Russell would have had a long holdout with anybody, but the Raiders exasperated the problem.

As for Norv? That is hard to explain. But Kiffin likely would have had that team in the AFC Championship Game, too.

The best thing Kiffin could do is let Davis twist in the wind, take his eventual buyout, and sit in the stands to make fun of Dennis Green like the rest of us will be.

  • Here’s a reason to hate the Super Bowl hype already. Tom Brady had to answer questions about his injured ankle and reassured Patriots fans that he would be out there on Sunday. Whew. Yeah, that was close. Philip Rivers played in the AFC Championship Game without an ACL. Brady was not going to miss the freaking Super Bowl with some sort of high ankle sprain. He's not LaDainian Tomlinson. Alright, cheap shot. But come on, let’s not go searching for drama. Media Day is going to blow.
  • The Chargers and Saints will be playing in the NFL propaganda game in England next season, about 20 times zones away. The game will count as a Saints home game, meaning that the Saints will only play seven games at the Super Dome, and one less week we have to see Harry Connick Jr.’s American Express ad. Who ordered the crawfish? This also means that the NFL is quietly weaning the Saints out of New Orleans so they can move them to Los Angeles. Where would they play in LA? Probably the parking lot of a WalMart because that is the only thing we allow to be built out here.


The NFL Players Association has approved of a new action figure for 2008. And well, as you can tell from the picture, there is some unfortunate timing to the releasing of this pose. This is not a joke. You can purchase this inaction figure at toy stores everywhere. Cape not included.

Yes, LT was hurt and there was nothing he could do to get back into the game. But damn, this is just more bad timing. Lighten up, people.

See you were warned about the Chunky Curse.

Props to The NFL Guru for finding a photo of this. Well done.


Bolt Man said...

Were the fuck were your Raiders this year? You stupid son of a bitch. Have fun with your third coach in three years?


Seitz said...

Hilarious. I thought that was just a really good photoshop, but that's a real goddamnmed toy.

GMoney said...

Answer me this, smart guy...

Who is a worse and more embarrassing owner, Al Davis or Dan Snyder. As a Skins fan, I think Davis is much worse, but it's close.

Fuck Dan Snyder...god damn idiot.

John York said...

I need to be in this conversation, too.

Virginia McCaskey said...

Did I miss a meeting?

Jerry Jones said...

I call President.

The Oakland Raiders said...


Bill Bidwill said...

Are all the seats on this bus taken?

Anonymous said...

That's an ad for Lincoln, genius.